I too lost a loved one at Christmas time awhile back. I swore if one more person told me time would help easethe pain I'd scream, but they were right. I try to keep very busy on the anniversary of my son's death. I have also had times when I felt like crying and did - went off by myself and had a good, long, hard cry. I felt 100% better afterwards. A cyber hug to you and your family.