Heard something at work today and thought of you

[jrmasm]

I'd send them a card and enclose directions to their nearest Target and BB&B.

 

[Nancyg56]

. That being said, I'm curious about how people would feel if these two people weren't allowed to marry and wanted to commit to each other - like a same sex couple - would this kind of a shower be acceptable?

I think that this is an entirely different situation. The couple in question has chosen to rent an apartment together, wants to wait to marry yet is willing to go through the charade of a shower in order to outfit their home. If I had friends who were celebrating their commitment together I would love to attend their shower. When the OP's couple celebrates their commitment I would think a shower was appropriate.

I often will bring a gift when I visit a new home but that is beccaue I want to, not because the couple has requested it.

On a related note:

Several years ago, a new teacher was hired for the preschool class where I work as an aide. She was in her late 50, single and moved from another part of the state to be near her aging parents. Her mother and sisters gave her an "apartment shower" to help her set up her new apartment. I thought it was a little strange and wondered why she moved without even a towel. I went to the shower and gave her kitchen towels and a nice candle. Other people gave her small appliances, dishes, knick knacks, etc.

Several months later, we learned that the teacher had previously been a nun! She took her vows when she was 18, got her teaching degree and taught for 40 years while living at a convent. She decided to leave the nunhood and was let go with enough cash to buy a used car and make a 1st month's deposit on an apartment. Otherwise, she had nothing but her clothes. It made a lot more sense after that! I wondered why she didn't tell us up front about being a nun but figured she had her reasons.

What a nice idea! This is one of those unique situations, it makes good sense for this womans friends and family to come together to celebrate her new home.

 

[memster]

Then I'll give them a gift in a year or two.

 

[MarilIncredible]

It sounds like they are having a "housewarming" party but instead of a bottle of wine or a potted plant they are directing their guests to buy them dishes and pots and pans. If it was a close friend of mine, I probably would have offered her some of my older kitches stuff (things in good shape that were destined for Goodwill) before the party, and then just bring some wine or a plant to the party.

Registries for supposed life events have gotten way out of hand. Wasn't there a time when registries were just for weddings and babies?

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

I'll be the disenting person (kind of). While I would never give or be the recipent of this kind of shower - If they were my friends I would go and bring a nice gift. I think celebrating is nice and I don't really care about the "miss manners" stuff. That being said, I'm curious about how people would feel if these two people weren't allowed to marry and wanted to commit to each other - like a same sex couple - would this kind of a shower be acceptable?

That would be my brother....

When they decided to move in together--no shower.
When they bought a home--no shower.

Since they cannot get married--they had a commitment ceremony instead--and had a shower.

Being a same sex couple isn't license to be rude just b/c the law doesn't allow them to get married. When my brother and his partner decided to dedicate their lives together--that is when they were showered with gifts.

Same as for my DH and I (absent the legal part of course).

 

[luvmy3]

Many of my friends had house warming parties when they moved into their first apartments. Sometimes they weren't really called that, they were just the first party at the new place, but most of us got them something.

I stand corrected however I'm guessing your friend didn't call it a housegoods shower so people will bring them things that they need for their new apartment. What is described in the OP is not a housewarming party, a housewarming party is where the person invites their friends and family and typically they bring a gift on their own accord, and its usually not a new Dyson. The reason for a shower is gifts, the reason for a housewarming is to introduce everyone to your new home.

 

[Darsa]

Um... what? A housegoods shower???

Just the name screams out in giant neon letters: "We need lotsa stuff but don't wanna buy it ourselves, so come to our house and bring us lotsa stuff!"

OMG I would be MORTIFIED at the thought of ever even suggesting anything like this! Wow, the unmitigated gall of some people never ceases to amaze me...

 

[focusondisney]

Count me out! I am fine with someone making their own life choices, but once you make the decision, live with it. Showers are traditionally for engaged couples. I am fine with living together if that is what you choose. When you choose to get married, I will attend a shower for you. That is my choice.

 

[Shyvioletisme]

I stand corrected however I'm guessing your friend didn't call it a housegoods shower so people will bring them things that they need for their new apartment. What is described in the OP is not a housewarming party, a housewarming party is where the person invites their friends and family and typically they bring a gift on their own accord, and its usually not a new Dyson. The reason for a shower is gifts, the reason for a housewarming is to introduce everyone to your new home.

bingo...this is my thought too. There is a big difference to me between a Housewarming party and the party the OP is describing. Housewarming = innocent and more of come see our home(no gift is required or always expected); housegoods shower = present is required, just give us gifts...
I'm perfectly fine with Housewarming; the party the OP is describing? not so much. I would not be attending that party.

 

[FireDancer]

I stand corrected however I'm guessing your friend didn't call it a housegoods shower so people will bring them things that they need for their new apartment. What is described in the OP is not a housewarming party, a housewarming party is where the person invites their friends and family and typically they bring a gift on their own accord, and its usually not a new Dyson. The reason for a shower is gifts, the reason for a housewarming is to introduce everyone to your new home.

Absolutely not and if they did I assure you they would be ridiculed by us for the rest of their lives. Most of my friends don't do such weird things. We do have one friend who does these kids of weird events and we go mostly because we know it is going to be a train wreck and we just can't look away.

I think in the OP the person should have just had a housewarming party instead of a housegoods shower. The net effect would probably have been the same or close without being so out there.

 

[ChristaDeVil]

Wow. My husband and I moved in together in college and we would have never thought to do this. Well, if we had, we would have probably just wanted people to bring us beer. Actually, that's not a bad idea NOW either.

 

[dawn1620]

No occasion, no gift.

First wedding, new baby, birthday - these are occasions.

Shacking up - not so much.

 

[Evil Genius]

So if the girl was getting an apartment on her own or with a female roommate would they still be having a "housegoods shower" I think not.

My RSVP would be not a no but ah HELL NO!