Heard something at work today and thought of you

[rie'smom]

I feel the same way all of you feel.

They only way I wouldn't think it was tacky is if they were committing to a life-long relationship, but didn't believe in marriage or didn't think "the papers" are necessary.

The sister justified it by saying, "what's the difference if they have it now, or right before they get married."

The difference is this couple is so tacky that they'll probably expect another shower when they get married.

 

[Gigi22]

They can wait for a wedding shower like everyone else. Honestly, the nerve! Alternately, a dictionary, with the word Marriage highlighted, might be appropriate...

 

[Mrs. Charming]

I want a Disney shower. Just letting you all know that I don't feel like paying for a trip. My requirements are a suite at the GF-only RPC for 14 days, first class flights, and the premium VIP tour each day. When y'all pay for this, then I'll pay for a gift for a shower like the one in the OP.
While they're having the housegoods shower, why not a baby shower too because one day they might want a baby.
People are frickin' nuts.

Oh! Oh! I want a Disney shower too. I'll take 2 weeks at the Poly, Kamehameha suite. Deluxe Dining, too. Thanks!

 

[luvmy3]

I really don't understand where people come up with these ideas and think "yeah, thats a great idea, I bet everyone would love that"

 

[shellybaxter]

I'll be the disenting person (kind of). While I would never give or be the recipent of this kind of shower - If they were my friends I would go and bring a nice gift. I think celebrating is nice and I don't really care about the "miss manners" stuff. That being said, I'm curious about how people would feel if these two people weren't allowed to marry and wanted to commit to each other - like a same sex couple - would this kind of a shower be acceptable?

 

[bumbershoot]

So the people moving in together are actually the ones throwing the party and sending out invites? I had to go back and re-read what you wrote, b/c I wanted to give them benefit of the doubt by hoping that someone *else* came up with this idea and was throwing them the party/shower.

But it really doesn't seem like it.


shellybaxter, someone else said, and I agree, that if this were a big deal commitment thing for people who can't or philosophically won't get married, that would be different. But they do plan to marry, just not now. They haven't even bought a house, they are just moving into an apartment. If this were even a handfasting, or an engagement party, those parties would all be very different than this...

 

[PaulaSue]

LOL, I would tell her GL with that! I would be busy that day and NO I don't believe in a gift for every invite.

 

[FireDancer]

A co-worker told me she got an invitation to a "housegoods shower" for her friend's sister. She said she didn't know that she was getting married, so she called her to congratulate her. Well, apparently she is not getting married, but she and her boyfriend are moving in together.

She asked how I felt about it. I told her what I thought, but I was wondering how all of you felt about it.

Oh, a detail that helped me decide: they are planning on getting married someday, but not for a year or two.

Sounds like it is just a differently named house warming party. Most of my friends (singe. dating, married, doesn't matter) who have house warming parties get house goods as gifts. Sounds like a marketing failure on this persons part. House Goods shower, strange. House warming party, normal.

 

[Luv Bunnies]

On a related note:

Several years ago, a new teacher was hired for the preschool class where I work as an aide. She was in her late 50, single and moved from another part of the state to be near her aging parents. Her mother and sisters gave her an "apartment shower" to help her set up her new apartment. I thought it was a little strange and wondered why she moved without even a towel. I went to the shower and gave her kitchen towels and a nice candle. Other people gave her small appliances, dishes, knick knacks, etc.

Several months later, we learned that the teacher had previously been a nun! She took her vows when she was 18, got her teaching degree and taught for 40 years while living at a convent. She decided to leave the nunhood and was let go with enough cash to buy a used car and make a 1st month's deposit on an apartment. Otherwise, she had nothing but her clothes. It made a lot more sense after that! I wondered why she didn't tell us up front about being a nun but figured she had her reasons.

 

[Disney Doll]

I would be unable to attend "so sorry" because I would have another commitment on this day.

 

[Liberty Belle]

I'll be the disenting person (kind of). While I would never give or be the recipent of this kind of shower - If they were my friends I would go and bring a nice gift. I think celebrating is nice and I don't really care about the "miss manners" stuff. That being said, I'm curious about how people would feel if these two people weren't allowed to marry and wanted to commit to each other - like a same sex couple - would this kind of a shower be acceptable?

Yep, that's entirely different.

 

[lemondog]

A co-worker told me she got an invitation to a "housegoods shower" for her friend's sister. She said she didn't know that she was getting married, so she called her to congratulate her. Well, apparently she is not getting married, but she and her boyfriend are moving in together.

She asked how I felt about it. I told her what I thought, but I was wondering how all of you felt about it.

Oh, a detail that helped me decide: they are planning on getting married someday, but not for a year or two.

 

[Liberty Belle]

So the people moving in together are actually the ones throwing the party and sending out invites? I had to go back and re-read what you wrote, b/c I wanted to give them benefit of the doubt by hoping that someone *else* came up with this idea and was throwing them the party/shower.

But it really doesn't seem like it.


shellybaxter, someone else said, and I agree, that if this were a big deal commitment thing for people who can't or philosophically won't get married, that would be different. But they do plan to marry, just not now. They haven't even bought a house, they are just moving into an apartment. If this were even a handfasting, or an engagement party, those parties would all be very different than this...

I think it's officially her sister throwing her the shower.

 

[georgina]

I agree with those who say it sounds like a housewarming party. Practically, people need these things when they set up an apartment, not two years later if/when they get married. If it was a friend of mine, I would go and bring a gift. But I've never really cared about the whole etiquette thing.

Along the line of luv bunnies' nun story, our pastor is retiring and moving to an apartment. He's registered at stores so people can buy him things to set up his new place

 

[luvmy3]

I agree with those who say it sounds like a housewarming party. Practically, people need these things when they set up an apartment, not two years later if/when they get married. If it was a friend of mine, I would go and bring a gift. But I've never really cared about the whole etiquette thing.

Along the line of luv bunnies' nun story, our pastor is retiring and moving to an apartment. He's registered at stores so people can buy him things to set up his new place

Isn't a housewarming typically done when you purchase a home as opposed to when you rent an apartment? Heck if I knew it was okay to have a housewarmimg party when I moved into an apartmenmt I would have sent out invites for every place I moved into. Sorry, either way its tacky, tacky, tacky and if my friend did it, I'd tell her so.

I would help her out if she was in need, but if you need help to furnish your apartment then the truth is maybe you just arent financially ready to have one

 

[FireDancer]

Isn't a housewarming typically done when you purchase a home as opposed to when you rent an apartment? Heck if I knew it was okay to have a housewarmimg party when I moved into an apartmenmt I would have sent out invites for every place I moved into. Sorry, either way its tacky, tacky, tacky and if my friend did it, I'd tell her so.

I would help her out if she was in need, but if you need help to furnish your apartment then the truth is maybe you just arent financially ready to have one

Many of my friends had house warming parties when they moved into their first apartments. Sometimes they weren't really called that, they were just the first party at the new place, but most of us got them something.

 

[pixiewings71]

Then I'll give them a gift in a year or two.

 

[Took]

I...well....what? Aaaack

I'm speechless.

My reaction, too. Some folks really amaze me.

 

[barkley]

if we are coming up with new shower traditions i want to be first in line for a "menopause shower".

yup-schedual that sucker in a very well air-conditioned location, have plenty of chocolate on hand and shower the guest of honor with sleeveless tops, some kind of makeup and haircare products that react well to drastic changes in body temp., some good tear jerker books and movies to put those weepy moments to good use, and maybe a group gift of a punching bag (for the other prominant emotional swing).

where do i sign up?


btw-i once attending a "cat warming" shower it was great fun and the whole reason it was thrown was b/c a co-worker had always been such a great sport about participating in every wedding and baby shower she was invited to at our office. we kept trying to figure out something to justify her finaly getting showered, and when she decided to adopt a new kittie it was just the opportunity we were looking for

 

[bgirldeb]

If sis wanted to give them a housewarming party for their new place, apartment or not, that's one thing, but calling it a 'household goods shower' for shacking up is all kinds of inappropriate. Showers are the expectation of gifts, and they've even specified what kind of gifts to bring! Are they engaged?