Hear me out on this...

[TammieLand]

Shoes? SHOES!?!?!?

If we're saving you all that money, I think you ought to spend it on us!

Drinks are on Tammieland!

I'll have a magarita!

Yes, SHOES! Hi my name is Tammie and I have a problem. It's just a small problem, really. So what if I converted my pantry into a shoe closet, that doesn't speak unwell of me, does it? I mean really, having in excess of a little over 225 pairs of shoes isn't that unusual....never mind..

WHO WANTS DRINK? I'll pour a buttery nipple for myself - such a lovely morning drink -

 

[InfernoGirl]

Mr. Infernogirl - I have to say that I am very impressed, you're asking questions and you're being honest and open about everything. Mrs. Infernogirl has every right to be mighty happy & proud.

Thanks

 

[InfernoGirl]

I have a question. Is there always a "male/female" relationship with gays and lesbians or is it sometimes both act as "male" or both "female"? And which is more common?

 

[Tigger&Belle]

I have a question. Is there always a "male/female" relationship with gays and lesbians or is it sometimes both act as "male" or both "female"? And which is more common?

Not sure what exactly you mean.

I can guarantee that there's not always a male/female role...no desire for that on my part.

 

[smartestnumber5]

I have a question. Is there always a "male/female" relationship with gays and lesbians or is it sometimes both act as "male" or both "female"? And which is more common?

I can't speak for everyone, but I have never known any gay couple that had any such roles in their relationship. I think gay couples in general tend to be pretty egalitarian when it comes to sharing chores and childcare and that kind of thing.

In some gay couples one person is more or less into feminine/masculine clothing and appearance. For instance, for GF and I she has very short hair and wears mostly men's clothes because she likes t-shirts and jeans and she doesn't have a very curvy "feminine" figure. I also like t-shirts and jeans so men clothes are always very appealing, but I do have the curves (especially the chest) and men's clothes just don't fit me very well so I wear more women's clothes (still t-shirts and jeans and such). And I have shoulder length hair. So I think people see us and assume that I must be the feminine one in other facets of life and GF must be the masculine one in other facets, even though I'm really not very feminine in my appearance (no makeup, I don't shave, I wear my hair held back most of the time, no jewelry--it's just that I wear women's clothes and I have big ****s, so there's no mistaking me for anything but female) and GF really isn't masculine (she just doesn't have the ****s, has shorter hair).

But actually things are very equally split between us. I am the carrier of heavy objects. She is going to give birth to our child(ren). (People are often surprised at that--they assume since I wear women's clothing and she wears men's, that I'm the one who's going to be pregnant, but really I've never had any desire to be pregnant and she very much wants to be.) I am probably going to be more of the nurturing parent. We both work in male-dominated fields. She takes care of any computer technology in the house--I take care of most other electronics. We share cleaning, but she is very dirty and less motivated to keep things clean than I am, so I do more. We both cook.

Honestly, I'm not even sure what "male" and "female" roles would be, because all of the male-female couples we are friends with also have completely egalitarian relationships. Really the only difference between theirs and ours is that they've got two different kinds of genitalia, GF and I have the same kind.

 

[rpmdfw]

I have a question. Is there always a "male/female" relationship with gays and lesbians or is it sometimes both act as "male" or both "female"? And which is more common?

In very few of the relationships of gay and/or lesbian couples do the two partners fall into what would be considered "traditional gender roles". But even in the straight relationships of my friends, the role of the "wife" and the "husband" are not nearly as rigid as they were a generation ago, let alone as rigid as they were a century ago. I think each couple creates their own relationship boundaries, rules, responsibilities, etc as they go along. They're not ever set in stone, and evolve as the couple's relationship evolves (because of changes in location, employment, or the arrival of children, for example.) I don't think that gay couples are any different that straight couples in this regard. Each partner brings his or her own strengths to the relationship, and a successful partnership depends on each partner playing to their own strengths to compensate for the shortcomings of the other partner. It's an equal give and take. Each day brings it's own new challenges, and each day the challenges are met as a team. Sometimes my partner deals with the challenge because he's better suited to handle it. Sometimes my strengths are the correct ones to deal witht the situation at hand. I don't think being gay or straight has anything to do with it. The important thing is that we face life's challenges together and we remain a united front in the face of any adversity. The exact same way that successful straight married couples I know do.

 

[InfernoGirl]

Thanks for the help and now that I think about it, there really isn't a difference as far as roles in a straight or gay relationship. Again, sometimes the blinder are on and I just don't see things and I think that the same goes for Mr Inferno.

 

[zulemara]

Thanks for the help and now that I think about it, there really isn't a difference as far as roles in a straight or gay relationship. Again, sometimes the blinder are on and I just don't see things and I think that the same goes for Mr Inferno.

it is ok, and I think this is a perfect opportunity to once again thank you for ASKING instead of just assuming. For instance, the last couple pages of this thread are full of people with blinders permanently on. It saddens me, it really does.

 

[wallyb]

it is ok, and I think this is a perfect opportunity to once again thank you for ASKING instead of just assuming. For instance, the last couple pages of this thread are full of people with blinders permanently on. It saddens me, it really does.

Well ... that's a bit judgmental.
"What up" with that?

 

[fey_spirit]

You know I don't have a problem with parents who want to get jiggy in the world, so long as they can find a responsible way to do it, what I want to know is where they find the energy! My wife and I don't have kids to contend with, but we still don't manage during our ten day trips (the only kind we take) - I mean we can barely manage to pull the covers down so we can slide into our separate queen sized beds...

I'm right there with you.

I read that thread about how the parents were having sex in the bathroom or in the second bed or trying to figure out how to get the kids out of the room for "10 minutes," and I was .

 

[InfernoGirl]

Well, I been away for a couple of days. Too busy to surf the net. Anyways thanks for being so honest still have some things to sort out in my mind but most have been cleared up. Dont worry I sure there are more questions and perhaps after the vacation.

If you see a family of 4+1 old man walking around looking confused that could be us. Actually look for someone with an upper right arm tattoo(half sleeve) with an big Harley emblem and an Indianpolis Colts hat on. Just say HI, I could be me...Mr Inferno

Maybe it will be when we hit up PI one night or at the water park.

Later, enjoy the vacation

 

[Haphazard Hero]

Does any other group of people get a special day assigned for them at WDW? Is GayDays even a WDW sanctioned event?

 

[OrlandoMike]

Does any other group of people get a special day assigned for them at WDW? Is GayDays even a WDW sanctioned event?

Gay Days is not a WDW sanctioned event, but they sure love the cash flow!

There is Grad Night and Night of Joy, both sanctioned events, one for High School Seniors, and one for Christians. There is also Tom Joiners event for African Americans.

It's not a "special" day, it's just a week that has been agreed apon by the gay community to visit Disney World, nothing else.

Well actually, I must admit, it is pretty "special"!!

 

[DVC~OKW~96]

Not only is it pretty darn special, but the whole atmosphere is special. No other time of the year does there seem to be such happiness and joy. We get greeted by more CMs and have more shared smiles and laughter and stories than at any other time of the year.

When the parade in EPCOT was still going on, there was never such an enthusiastic crowd as there was during Gay Days!

It's something that can be measured. Elevated good times. Elevated happiness and good cheer!

Gotta love it!

 

[OrlandoMike]

Later, enjoy the vacation

No, you enjoy your vacation!

And please come back over here and let us know how it was!

 

[Haphazard Hero]

Gay Days is not a WDW sanctioned event, but they sure love the cash flow!

There is Grad Night and Night of Joy, both sanctioned events, one for High School Seniors, and one for Christians. There is also Tom Joiners event for African Americans.

It's not a "special" day, it's just a week that has been agreed apon by the gay community to visit Disney World, nothing else.

Well actually, I must admit, it is pretty "special"!!

Well in that case I don't see how anyone can have a problem with it. I was imaging gay pride banners all over Disney World, etc, and I thought that would be a little off putting for those not in the gay community and had no idea about the event. This is no different than any other mass trip to WDW.

Not only is it pretty darn special, but the whole atmosphere is special. No other time of the year does there seem to be such happiness and joy. We get greeted by more CMs and have more shared smiles and laughter and stories than at any other time of the year.

When the parade in EPCOT was still going on, there was never such an enthusiastic crowd as there was during Gay Days!

It's something that can be measured. Elevated good times. Elevated happiness and good cheer!

Gotta love it!

I'm excited. I'll be working there during gay days so I'll get to be a part of the fun!

 

[fey_spirit]

I don't know that I would say that it is easier for lesbians, what you say may have some merit in that we aren't as likely to get thrashed, but consider this...

Our society as much as we wish to deny it is still and old boy's network if you happen to be a lesbian there is no male controlling you... which is probably part of the power play that results in sexualizing our relationships.

How easy do you think it would be for you and your wife if you knew that there was not only always the possibility that your relationship could get you harmed, if not killed - but that there was a good chance that those who didn't physically harm you would violate you by making your loving relationship about their jollies? I feel dirty every time I get that reaction from men... it makes me feel no less violated when they jeer at us and make comments of a sexual nature about me holding hands with my girlfriend, then the guy who took it upon himself to sit next to me in the theater one night and touching me inappropriately - never mind that I had never said more then two words to him.

So easier? I don't think so - different? In some ways yes, but not easier.

thats interesting... Tell me if I am wrong, I am still trying to figure out why people are so against gays and gay marriage.

People who are against the marriage are more against it because of the thought of people beating the system and getting benefits, than of the relgious aspect. Meaning two guys move into together say they are gay get medical and tax benefits and such; beating out those who struggle.

If this is the case they need to look at it again, illegals and I am sure there are hetro doing it already. Right?

Most people are not against lesbians as must as just gay men because of the image of sex, that media has played out to public. Lesibans because its projected different as if there is a chance or more exotic.

I have a way inproper question to ask to a gay man but not going to ask here. pm me if you are willing to answer.


one other question, since topics get change so much. Who is gay in hollywierd? Other than Rosie-I cant stand her!

on

 

[fey_spirit]

I don't think this is cut and dry. I think there are a lot of variables...
On the other hand, most sexual predators are male, molesting young girls and yet most of those girls will grow up to be straight...

So if I had to guess I would say that those statistics you read are a bunch of bunk.

Do I have these issues in my past? Yes, did it make me gay? No I was hot for the likes of Lois (Sharon, Lois and Bhram) from the age of about 7, and I vaguly remember cartoon characters before that - long before the sexual abuse in my life bagan.

Which means you also have to take into consideration that just because a person happens to have had these events in their life, and happens to be gay means that one has anything to do with the other.

Fact is if you want to use numbers 1 in 10 people is gay (last number I heard) and 1 out of 3 girls are sexually abused in some way... there is bound to be some overlap there.

It's a little like correlating being Christan being gay. Again, the sheer percentage of Christians in this country guarantee a large overlap. Nobody would try to say because there are a lot of folks who are both being Christan turns you gay.

yeah one more,
I read this and wondered if its true or not since most 63.2555 stadstics are false

they say most people are turned gay because of a tramaic(sp?) evnet in thier life. Like a bad touch if you get my meaning.

which leads me into this one,
are people born gay or is only developed by surrounding cultrul(sp?) or life experiences?

 

[fey_spirit]

The problem with this question is that it is inherently flawed. It assumes that people are naturally one or the other, it overlooks the fact that by nature all humans are a menage of the all the beautiful and not so beautiful traits attributed to both me and women.

If there is any difference, perhaps it is in that we don't have prescribed gender roles to fall back on (IE HE pays the bills and SHE cleans the house)... you just kind of figure out who does what best and go with it. (The again I did that in my relationship with my one and only boyfriend as well).

But as for my relationship? There aren't males or females so much as there are two humans very much in love.

I have a question. Is there always a "male/female" relationship with gays and lesbians or is it sometimes both act as "male" or both "female"? And which is more common?

 

[gdaysboi]

Not sure if this will help, but it may be one way to explain it without explaining anything. And it is so cute that I must share.

My friend's daughter LL is 3, she watches quite a few Disney moives and one morning at breakfast she said to her Dad,

Shouldn't Adam be a girl?
Her Dad replied, Why do you say that?
Well Prince's have Princesses and since Alex is a boy, shouldn't Adam be a girl?
Her Dad replied... Well some Prince's have Princesses and some Prince's have Princes

And she said, ohh and went back to eating breakfast.

Basically, you are likely to see a couple kisses and hugs during Gay days, but if you do see that just give the answer about it might be all you need to say. The bigger deal you make about it the more your kids are likely to focus on it.

Keep it simple and sweet.