Having a third baby??

[Conservative Hippie]

I have 2 - one boy and one girl, and people ask me all the time if we are "done" now that we have one of each (as if that is the ultimate goal?). I was literally asked this less than a week after my son was born! My answer is I'm not commiting one way or another. Right I now I can't say I want another child, but I might in a year. DH still says he wants at least four!

OP, I know people with 5 years, 6, 7, and 8 years between their 2 youngest. My two are a little less than 3 years apart. Yes, you will be right back to diaper bags but on the plus side older children are so much more helpful with babies than 3 year olds!!

 

[Kitty 34]

We didn't discuss (or really plan) any of our three sons....they just happened and thank GOD they did!

 

[NikitaZee]

My husband and I were very happy with just one. When he got a little older, we decided to have another baby so he wouldn't be an only child. He was 4 when our daughter was born. After her, I just didn't feel 'done' yet. The only way I can explain it is that I knew, deep down that there was another little soul out there waiting to join our family. So, when she was 3, we had our third. He is the firecracker of the family, a funny little guy who just lights up the whole house. To be honest, things are definitely more complicated, and more expensive, with a third child, but he is priceless! Couldn't imagine having talked myself out of it - now that he's here. Good luck to you - and follow your heart

 

[BraveLittleToaster2]

You all sure have given me a lot to think about. Sometimes I do feel like I'm meant to have another one...for some reason the image I get is always a little boy, one whom looks just like my hubby.

I guess time will tell. Perhaps fate can step in and take over, clearly I'm not to good with decisions

 

[Conservative Hippie]

Also OP, being pregnant at Disney isn't so horrible if you are not in your 3rd trimester.

 

[littleteapot]

We debated on third and so very glad that we decided "to", as can't imagine life without him!

This, except instead of "him" we got "them"

 

[DSNY4ever]

No one is going to tell you that having their third child was a regret (no one would ever be honest and tell you that any of their children were a regret no matter how many they have).

We only want two children and if we are lucky enough to get a second, everything will be tied and cut asap. I like having one hand for each child and one parent to focus attention on each child. Plus it will be easier for us financially, easier on my stress level and the best fit for the size of our house. I know two is all we can handle and that is what we will keep it at.

 

[BraveLittleToaster2]

We only want two children and if we are lucky enough to get a second, everything will be tied and cut asap. I like having one hand for each child and one parent to focus attention on each child. Plus it will be easier for us financially, easier on my stress level and the best fit for the size of our house. I know two is all we can handle and that is what we will keep it at.

I wish I was as confident in my decision making as you.

Thought I must say my first child was a surprise and wasn't planned and I wouldn't trade him for the world!!

 

[java]

We debated the third and now we have 4.

 

[emer95]

My husband and I were very happy with just one. When he got a little older, we decided to have another baby so he wouldn't be an only child. He was 4 when our daughter was born. After her, I just didn't feel 'done' yet. The only way I can explain it is that I knew, deep down that there was another little soul out there waiting to join our family. So, when she was 3, we had our third. He is the firecracker of the family, a funny little guy who just lights up the whole house. To be honest, things are definitely more complicated, and more expensive, with a third child, but he is priceless! Couldn't imagine having talked myself out of it - now that he's here. Good luck to you - and follow your heart

Wow, this just made my eyes fill with tears. That explains so perfectly how I feel. We have two girls, 12 and 10. I have never been able to get past the feeling that I just wasn't done yet. I am 36 years old and I know my time is ticking away. I think our friends and family will think we've gone off the deep end if we have another baby more than a decade after our youngest!
We're thinking of trying again after our Disney trip this August. Rationally and logically it's crazy!! But I know for certain we will regret it if we don't.

Good luck to you, OP! You're definitely not alone in your plight!

 

[BraveLittleToaster2]

Thanks for all the input!!! Glad to know I'm not alone.

It's a bit selfish, but I also wonder how it will affect my body. After the first I bounced right back to my old self....then after my second I had more problems and I got really bad stretch marks and never lost all the weight. My belly probably still looks 3 months pregnant, and on my tiny frame it looks ridiculous, so I tend to suck in most days.

Is it a give-in that your body will get even worse after a third??

 

[TB'sWidow]

We tried for a third child for 2yrs and nothing so we just accepted that we were meant to have 2 a boy & a girl. Then lo & behold in 2000 I found out I was having a baby at the ripe age of 37 Dh was 42 our older children were 17 & 12 at the time. To say we were shocked was an understatment I was blessed to have a beautiful baby girl who has truly brought me alot of joy the only sadness is my beloved Dh passed away 2yrs after her birth and has not been able to enjoy what a terrifc child she is. She totally keeps me going. I will admit it is hard sometimes to be an older single parent but i wouldn't trade her for anything. Mary

 

[coastermom]

We have three kids ... We tried for a long time when my middle one was little she was maybe 3 . Nothing happened .. We figured that after she started school that we were not going to try anymore and we were going to be happy with the two girls we had . That Nov we threw out all our baby stuff and figured that we were done ...Well as done was we were we were very shocked that in Jan we found out that we were due in Sept ... I thought I had the FLU !!

I can not think of life with out my son and am blessed to have him everyday !! ... He will be 10 in Sept ... My others will be 19 in may and 16 the end of this week !! so there are huge gaps but we love every moment of life as a family of 5 !

 

[Family Fun Mom]

No one is going to tell you that having their third child was a regret (no one would ever be honest and tell you that any of their children were a regret no matter how many they have).
.

Because the vast majority of people love their kids and do not think of them as mistakes. I knew someone who did admit it, though. She made her husband get a vasectomy right after their son was born, telling anyone who'd listen "no more mistakes for me!" I always felt so bad that kid.

 

[Fintastic]

Our son is almost six years younger than our daughter and it's been great! We didn't have the expense of two in diapers, we didn't have to push our daughter out of the crib so the baby could use it, she was potty trained, eating table food, talking, walking, etc. and very independent when her brother came along. She's old enough to understand when I need to deal with the baby and doesn't get jealous. Plus she feels very big and important because she can do so much more than he can, and she loves showing him off to her friends. And imagine how nice it'll be for him later when she's sixteen and he's ten and she brings her girlfriends home.

 

[rie'smom]

We have 3 children:

DS-35
DS-27
DD-17

Our first son is from my first marriage. Son #2 is from my present marriage. I had trouble getting pregnant for son #2. When we decided we wanted a 3rd child, we consulted a fertility specialist who told me that I would have to be on bed rest for most of the pregnancy and needed surgery first. I was actually in the pre-surgical suite and had been prepped when I told my husband that I changed my mind. It bothered me that I would not be able to be there for my boy's school events. My husband and I decided that day to adopt a baby and we wanted a girl if possible. That was the nest decision we could have made.

So as you can see OP, our kids are several years apart but it has worked beautifully for us.

 

[Aisling]

My sister was in your situation a few years ago. Her sons were ages 11 and 12, but she didn't "feel" that her family was complete yet. It didn't matter if she had another boy or if she'd get her girl, she just felt they were a family of five even without that 3rd child. So they went for it, and now have an elementary school-aged daughter while her brothers are in college. It worked out perfectly for them, they're handling it well financially, and more importantly, she and her husband feel "complete", like this was their family that was meant to be.

For me, there's a 6 year age gap between my two sons. I always knew I wanted another one after the first, but we waited so that we wouldn't have two kids in college at the same time. After my 2nd son was born, within 3 months I was already thinking about another baby because I loved having those two children and I thought another one would just add to our happiness. We decided not to have another baby after all, and even though I went through times of wanting another one, it didn't consume me, so I know we made the right decision for our family.

The age differences of the children in both families isn't an issue at all.

Good luck with your decision, and if you can afford it, I say follow your heart and go for it.

 

[disneychrista]

Sounds like you have already made up your mind that you don't want another one. What's to discuss?

 

[fall08CP]

My younger brother was a "souvenir baby". My parents were absolutely done and in total shock that she was pregnant. She was SO sick and had such serious mental breakdowns during the pregnancy that she wanted to abort, but she kept it. I'm so grateful. I love my younger brother SO much, I can't express begin to express it. I'm closer to him than my older siblings and he is an absolute joy- and a genius, going for his PhD after undergrad! My parents don't regret him one bit.