Having a 3rd

[matt and beth]

As a father of three!!!

It is a huge jump in responsibility and time commitment for at least the next 18 years. 1/3 more than what you have now. Anyone who tells you that you won't even notice the extra child is "lying". We fell for it. Seriously, we love our third and he is very very charasmatic. Had a 4 and a 2 year old when the third was born. Probably the hardest part was our oldest was undergoing chemo for a tumor removed from his skull at the same time number three came. God gave us a perfect child at the time we needed some joy. Oh and by the way, God is still in the healing business. DS 8 has been tumor free for over four years. God is good!!!

 

[sau418]

Thank you all for such honesty. We have been praying about what to do and I think we know the answer and we will just see what happens...

 

[Ar1el]

As a father of three!!!

It is a huge jump in responsibility and time commitment for at least the next 18 years. 1/3 more than what you have now. Anyone who tells you that you won't even notice the extra child is "lying". We fell for it. Seriously, we love our third and he is very very charasmatic. Had a 4 and a 2 year old when the third was born. Probably the hardest part was our oldest was undergoing chemo for a tumor removed from his skull at the same time number three came. God gave us a perfect child at the time we needed some joy. Oh and by the way, God is still in the healing business. DS 8 has been tumor free for over four years. God is good!!!

Awesome Awesome news! So happy for you and your family.

 

[Zeebs]

We are pregnant with our third, we always wanted three, the gap will be 22 month between Cullen and Seth and 27 months between Seth and the new baby. There was added excitement to find out our third is a girl.

I am one of three and didn't feel left out with the odd number, but that said I am the oldest.

Some days though I think what the heck I am doing and I am clearly crazy but not a lot I can do about it now.

With regards to the you will never hear anyone say they "regret having a third" there are plenty of things you will very rarely hear anyone say it doesn't mean it doesnt happen.

Kirsten

 

[mjkacmom]

If the OP is a Christian, don't forget prayer.?!

Just want to point out that non-christians pray, too (I'm catholic, a christian, but have some jewish friends).

 

[DrMomof3]

We have 3. Ages 6, 4, and almost 2. I always "knew" I wanted a big family. I didn't believe people who told me that having 3 is a lot harder than 2. Oops! I love my 3rd child. He is sweet and charming and delightful. But... It was a difficult pregnancy, he was premature, and still doesn't consistently sleep through the night. Everything is more difficult with 3. Travel, eating out, etc. As another mentioned, most hotels are designed for the traditional family of 4. It's a lot more expensive to have a 3rd child when going on vacation! We thought we'd have 4 but now we know that 3 is enough for us!!!

I don't regret my 3rd for a minute but I also didn't truly understand what I was getting myself into!!!

Amanda

 

[djp0630]

I love this thread. So neat to hear about others decisions and some miracle babies!

We are the same way. DS is 18 months & DD is almost 4 and we go back and forth about having a 3rd. I love being a family of 4, one child of each gender, perfect. But I just know I'm not done....But I love to travel (especially to WDW) and I know that it will be more difficult, and we will be outnumbered, etc...but I still can't shake that I won't have another. So I think we plan to start trying in May or June...

GL with your decision.

And to the pp who's son is tumor-free, congrats! That is awesome!

 

[sau418]

I am going to finish my current month of birth control and then we are going to see where it goes from there... It will all be in God's hands and we will be blessed either way.

 

[njgeneral]

We are expecting #3 which I call the "oops we did it again" baby. Not planned at all. We have a girl and a boy 17 months apart and thought we were done. In fact, the hubby was supposed to take care of that but it was too late. Now we are blessed with a 3rd on the way that will make 3 kids under 4!

It is a hard decision to make. I really liked the family of 4 idea and still while I am shopping for the new arrival, I get stressed out thinking how are we going to afford Disney, flying to see relatives etc... God had a different plan for me and I find comfort in knowing that this baby was no mistake. Definitely no more after this.

I would really think about it and then say, we will give it a year, if you are pregnant great if not great. As long as you are happy with your 2 now be thankful but if you really want another one, go for it. You are the only one that can make that decision for yourself. I did not want or expect this one and had horrible depression my 1st trimester. Now, I have embraced it.

 

[camdensmom]

We had an amazing little boy and wanted to provide him with a sibling...one sibling. To me being a family of 4 felt right for us.

Much to our surprise that "2nd baby" that we had planned on turned out to be identical twins. Identical twins are not hereditary and are a complete fluke and nothing we ever in a million years anticipated.

So without choice we now have 3 children. I certainly wouldn't trade the experience and truly feel blessed to have been given this (somewhat) rare opportunity. However, I will say that the logistics of having 3 kids is extremely challenging.

It's hard when your kids outnumber you.

You often feel like someone is being left out because often they are.

The world is set up for families of 4...cars, hotels, etc.

Kids are VERY expensive over the course of 18+ years.

Really it's a personal decision that only you can make.

Just keep in mind how it will effect your family. Chances are you would have a healthy baby, but it's not a guarantee. Life is a gamble. Much luck finding the decision that is best for your family.

 

[donalds friend]

Another mom of three chiming in. You are right, everything is made for four. (Disney seems to be about 50% more when you are pricing it). My third was a surprise, but I don't know what our family would do without him! He is quite a charmer and seems to have the best qualities of my first two rolled into one. Before he came the kids had their own rooms, they fit in the back seat of the car, but who cares? I wouldn't change a thing. Sure we probably could do more trips to Disney etc. if we had two, but my kids, like many others definitely do not go without and it is probably good that we have to put limits on things, especially since we are approaching the college years. When I was pregnant I wondered what is it going to be like juggling 3, now I can't imagine it any other way. I am lucky that my parents live close by to help with transporting when they go in three different directions, especially when DH used to work nights.

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

Having one child was a pleasure. Adding the second increased the workload/stress by an infinitely high factor. Because of that, having a third was never even discussed. Yeah, we both went through the "miss a baby in the house" moments, but a few days with someone else's infant got us over that.

Our running joke was that we had lost all respect for the intellectual capacity of people who had a third child...

I thought that I wanted many children - and then I had children...

 

[MickeysFans]

I agree with Kim O. When you are done, you know you are done. We have ds and dd and we are done. Just feel very strongly that we feel balanced and all aspects are fulfilled. If you are not there, keep your options open until you feel strongly one way or the other.

 

[**eeyore**]

Our running joke was that we had lost all respect for the intellectual capacity of people who had a third child...

I thought that I wanted many children - and then I had children...

Wow...

 

[mickeysmate65]

I've enjoyed reading all the responses - I think most of us go through these same feelings. I have two children - DD21 and DS18 - they are 2 1/2 years apart. Even to this day they are best friends.

I so wanted to have 3 or 4 children but it wasn't in the plan for us - I am 1 of 4 children with cousins from a family of 10 and 6. I was pre-eclamptic with both children so DD was born at 32 weeks and DS at 37 weeks. Every time DH and I talked about a third we kept coming back to "what if we aren't as lucky" with a third pregnancy. He was much more convinced than I - I had such a strong desire for at least one more for many years. It wasn't until DS was about 7 that I finally settled into being done. Looking back I am quite satisfied with having 2!

As PP's have indicated it becomes very expensive as they get older - especially high school and college! While we would have managed with another child I would probably have had to work full-time to help support us. By only have 2 I was able to work minimal hours when they were younger so I could be at home to raise them. Good luck with your decision!

 

[Zeebs]

Our running joke was that we had lost all respect for the intellectual capacity of people who had a third child...

I thought that I wanted many children - and then I had children...

Totally agree and we are now pregnant with our third LOL

Most of the time I am happy with my decision but the other 80% I am thinking what the heck was I thinking.

Kirsten

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

Wow...

It was supposed to be funny...

 

[**eeyore**]

It was supposed to be funny...

Sorry DisneyBamaFan Caught me at a not-so-good moment! We are one of the crazy families expecting our 3rd child. We spent a long time contemplating our decision and I hope people aren't looking at me thinking I'm not sane!

Our belief system strongly supports procreation, and I finally realized the only reasons I had for not "wanting" another child were purely out of convenience or slightly selfish reasons. Everyone has their own reasons for their decisions, but we are very excited for our 3rd, and (while we might be niave!) we don't expect it to affect our sanity too badly (except for the lack of sleep I will experience those first couple of months!).

I guess we were pretty lucky though, because child 1 & 2 came at once (twins), so adding one more doesn't seem too bad to us. We figure - 1 baby, 2 adults. This time we will have the baby outnumbered! I guess it's all relative.

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

Sorry DisneyBamaFan Caught me at a not-so-good moment! We are one of the crazy families expecting our 3rd child. We spent a long time contemplating our decision and I hope people aren't looking at me thinking I'm not sane!

It's cool. I sometimes crack wise without thinking about how some people might take it...