Have you preplanned your funeral?

[lisajl]

I was just wondering...I have been thinking about this. What is the best time? My Dh and I have decided to be cremated. I believe you can pre plan this too. Has anyone done this in their 40's? Should we wait till were a bit older?

 

[momrek06]

I was just wondering...I have been thinking about this. What is the best time? My Dh and I have decided to be cremated. I believe you can pre plan this too. Has anyone done this in their 40's? Should we wait till were a bit older?

DH & I have not pre-planned our Funeral at all....but DH's bro dropped dead at the age of 50yo in Jan of 2001. My DSIL upon picking out and ordering the Headstone for DBIL, she wanted this lovely huge stone. The stone company said they would give her a fabulous deal if she were to add the names of all those also being buried in the same plot. (My IL's have their very own family (generations and generations) cemetery in CT).

Well DH & I agreed to have our names on the stone with birth dates and nothing for (obviously) the death date. (To help offset the cost of the stone.)

Unfortunately in Nov of 2001, DH's father died suddenly. I will tell you my two young sons, when arriving at the cemetery to bury their grandfather, where absolutely FREAKED when they saw the Headstone with our names on it. They both commented how absolutely uncomfortable they were seeing their parents names on the stone.

Since then, we have done nothing other than our WILLS. They are completely up-to-date.

 

[ChrisnSteph]

I haven't planned my funeral, but our plots and the opening/closing are paid for.

 

[lisajl]

DH & I have not pre-planned our Funeral at all....but DH's bro dropped dead at the age of 50yo in Jan of 2001. My DSIL upon picking out and ordering the Headstone for DBIL, she wanted this lovely huge stone. The stone company said they would give her a fabulous deal if she were to add the names of all those also being buried in the same plot. (My IL's have their very own family (generations and generations) cemetery in CT).

Well DH & I agreed to have our names on the stone with birth dates and nothing for (obviously) the death date. (To help offset the cost of the stone.)

Unfortunately in Nov of 2001, DH's father died suddenly. I will tell you my two young sons, when arriving at the cemetery to bury their grandfather, where absolutely FREAKED when they saw the Headstone with our names on it. They both commented how absolutely uncomfortable they were seeing their parents names on the stone.

Since then, we have done nothing other than our WILLS. They are completely up-to-date.

Wow! I think I would have "freaked out" too! We are trying to make sure we have things in order so our kids will not be burdened by anything.
My SIL passed away 5 years ago of cancer. She knew she was very ill and knew she would not make it and got everything together. It was still tough when she passed away but it made it bit easier for my brother and my nieces.
Maybe we will wait 10 more years or so. It's kind of morbid to think about pre-planning, but I just want to make sure I get what I want. I don't want my kids talked into anything elaborate.

Thanks for your input!
Lisa

 

[Acklander]

I haven't planned my funeral, but I've made my wishes known. I'd rather be buried than cremated; I want my favorite quilt buried with me, and for music I want the song "Way over Yonder" by Carole King. I have a will, and a living will.

 

[Chattyaholic]

My parents (69 and 75) pre-planned and paid for their funerals a couple years ago. DH and I have begun to think about it, but it will be a few years yet before we can afford to pay for them. We are both 49.

DH doesn't care what kind of funeral or burial we have if he goes first, and he knows I would prefer to be cremated but our DS has a problem with cremation, so when I die I really don't know what they'll do with me. It won't matter to me then anyway, so I really don't care.

But, if DH goes before me our DS will just have to come to terms with cremation because that is what I plan to do with DH and then have him in a locked urn here in the house with me, then when I die either have me cremated, or bury me, and put DH with me in the same grave.

We do have our cemetery plot already though. We bought it probably about 20 years ago, $100 for a 5-grave plot. It's in the same little country cemetery where most of DH's family is buried.

I think any pre-planning that you can do is helpful to your family.

 

[mickeyboat]

We are in our 30's and have purchased a plot and cornerstones. We bought the one beside DH's parents when DH's mom passed away several years ago.

We are woefully unprepared as far as wills and life insurance go.

Denae

 

[mrsltg]

I have mine preplanned in so much as I know what I want and have communicated it to my dh and dm (GOD FORBID I should precede my mother). Nothing is paid for because dh and I don't know where we'll be living in ten years or so.

I have told my dh and dm that I want a regular mass for my funeral with "happy" music and not "woe is me" kind of stuff. I have specific readings and hymns I want. I also want my son's urn placed in my hands (no cremation for me because of this.)

DH wants a pine box and no money spent on his funeral. He's not religious so his will be held at a funeral home instead of a church or other religious venue. Good thing he'll be dead so I can do whatever I want (kidding - mostly!)

One thing I won't do is put my name on the headstone until I am beneath it. It freaks me out when I go to the cemetery and see "Harry Smith 1920-2000 Jane Smith 1923 - " . With didn't Mrs. Smith just throw herself in the ground on top of Mr. Smith's casket???? Nope, can't do it!!!

 

[1Prince2Princesses]

DH wants a pine box and no money spent on his funeral. He's not religious so his will be held at a funeral home instead of a church or other religious venue. Good thing he'll be dead so I can do whatever I want (kidding - mostly!)

My DH says this too. He has actually said, "Just dig a hole and push me in it." RIGHT. He doesn't understand that the funeral is just as much for those left behind as it is for the deceased.

I haven't planned my funeral yet, but I'm considering it. I've been on the planning end for other people that I loved, and it's awful. I don't want to put my family through that. AND I don't want my DH and mom arguing over it if something should happen to me in the near future!

 

[slo]

I haven't, but my Grandma did, and it was very helpful for us when she passed away last year.

I would say you are never to young to plan your own funeral (you can die at any time). My DH and I are thinking about doing this too, and we are only 35. If I died now, I would want my DH and parents to be there for my girls, more than planning my funeral.

 

[lovemygoofy]

We have discussed what each other wants and what our family would expect in a funeral service and it's also listed in great detail in our own writing and notarized. It was kind of freaky being married less than a month and having to fill out the paperwork and talk about the funeral and songs and location but also necessary because Matt comes from a very Catholic family and I was raised in a Assembly of God. The only thing we haven't done is prepay for the stuff or plots because we don't know where we will be.

 

[Freyja]

No, I haven´t.

 

[Chattyaholic]

One thing I won't do is put my name on the headstone until I am beneath it. It freaks me out when I go to the cemetery and see "Harry Smith 1920-2000 Jane Smith 1923 - " . With didn't Mrs. Smith just throw herself in the ground on top of Mr. Smith's casket???? Nope, can't do it!!!

I collect photographs of different/unusual gravestones, and my parents and I were walking through our local cemetery one time and when we got to their stone (double-heart shaped with Dad's name and bowling ball/pins on one side and Mom's name with a ball of yarn and crochet hook on the other) I took a picture of their stone, with them standing on "their" sides. Some would probably consider that morbid. We didn't. It's the only picture I will ever have of their stone.