Have You Ever Walked Out of a Dentist Appointment?

[skyblue17]

As of yesterday, I have!

And I feel a little bad about it, but I think I did the right thing. I had a light sensitivity in my tooth that didn't really follow any particular pattern (not always sensitive, not specifically to cold, or touch, no actual pain) but I am going out of the country soon and I decided to have it checked in case it was a cavity that needed to be filled. After an x-ray and multiple sensitivity tests, none of which pointed to an issue, he told me that I should get a crown. This seemed a little out of left field and I probably should have told him I'd like time to think about it before he started anything at all, but he was pushing me to start the process right then and there due to my dental insurance rolling over on February 1. He pointed out if I did it now, I could use my remaining coverage rather than start my new year immediately paying for a crown. I was uneasy about it and told him so but he wasn't really taking my apprehension seriously (in general, I am not an anxious dental patient, I know myself and usually roll with things ok). I took the only minute I had to myself to text my brother and he texted me back as my imprint was being molded that I should get a second opinion before getting a crown. This validated my apprehension to me. The first mold did not work and the assistant started a second one. At this point, he had already numbed me and the combination of numbness and the goop from the mold at the back of my mouth made start to gag & choke. So that mold didn't work. At this point I'm getting upset and I tell him I do not want to do this today, and I'd prefer not to have to worry about a temporary crown or brand new crown while out of the country in an area without reliable access to dental care. He told me he would "give me glue." I reiterate I want to stop. He says we should at least take the imprint anyway. This time he does it and it is the worst imprint of the three, when he pulls it out of my mouth it's all broken up. This is when I put my foot down and say we are not doing this today, that it's not going well already and the last thing I want to do in the state I have found myself in (anxious, physically not great due Imprint Attempt #2, and emotionally as I was starting to get upset) was have my tooth permanently altered if I wasn't sure I really needed to. Maybe I should have just trusted him no matter what but I've had issues with him trying to rush me into an Invisalign fitting which I didn't need and I also know he is hurting for patients and it wasn't out of the question he was trying to fill a quota.

Anyway, at this point he kinda starts getting annoyed and saying if I wait too long, I might need a root canal or lose my tooth (noted, but I only want to wait a few weeks, and what if I hadn't even gone in to see him until after my vacation?). At one point, he literally tells me that my concerns are irrational. He tells me that I am losing money by not doing it now since my insurance is re-upping so soon (not really, I just am not using allocated coverage I have). He tells me that if I don't do it now, my insurance won't approve the procedure for six months (?!). I apologize for wasting his time and say that I am fine with all of this, I just do NOT want to worry about anything going wrong until I'm back from my trip, and that I'll call him when I return. That's when he hands me a mirror, JUST a mirror, and says to look at my face because it's still covered in the blue goop from the imprints and walks out of the room.

So, I recognize my role in this by letting the procedure begin at all, even though I do think I was kinda backed into a corner. However, I am pretty glad this happened the way it did because now I know NOT to go back to this guy for any further procedures. My friend recommended her dentist and if my symptoms continue after this, I am going to call them and see what they say. I'm also kind of glad that none of my imprints worked, so that they can't pass it off as me okaying the procedure and ordering a crown and billing me. As it was, the way the whole thing ended, I just left the office and I have no idea what he is charging me for what already happened.

The funny thing is if he had simply said "you know, I wish we hadn't started but I can see this isn't working out for you today. Why don't you give me a call once you've had a little time to assess and you're ready to move on," I wouldn't have had to feel so anxious, or so embarrassed, or like I did something wrong. Instead, he made me feel ashamed and lost a customer.

Anyway, has anyone else had experiences like this? How do you handle them?

 

[fly girl]

As of yesterday, I have!

And I feel a little bad about it, but I think I did the right thing. I had a light sensitivity in my tooth that didn't really follow any particular pattern (not always sensitive, not specifically to cold, or touch, no actual pain) but I am going out of the country soon and I decided to have it checked in case it was a cavity that needed to be filled. After an x-ray and multiple sensitivity tests, none of which pointed to an issue, he told me that I should get a crown. This seemed a little out of left field and I probably should have told him I'd like time to think about it before he started anything at all, but he was pushing me to start the process right then and there due to my dental insurance rolling over on February 1. He pointed out if I did it now, I could use my remaining coverage rather than start my new year immediately paying for a crown. I was uneasy about it and told him so but he wasn't really taking my apprehension seriously (in general, I am not an anxious dental patient, I know myself and usually roll with things ok). I took the only minute I had to myself to text my brother and he texted me back as my imprint was being molded that I should get a second opinion before getting a crown. This validated my apprehension to me. The first mold did not work and the assistant started a second one. At this point, he had already numbed me and the combination of numbness and the goop from the mold at the back of my mouth made start to gag & choke. So that mold didn't work. At this point I'm getting upset and I tell him I do not want to do this today, and I'd prefer not to have to worry about a temporary crown or brand new crown while out of the country in an area without reliable access to dental care. He told me he would "give me glue." I reiterate I want to stop. He says we should at least take the imprint anyway. This time he does it and it is the worst imprint of the three, when he pulls it out of my mouth it's all broken up. This is when I put my foot down and say we are not doing this today, that it's not going well already and the last thing I want to do in the state I have found myself in (anxious, physically not great due Imprint Attempt #2, and emotionally as I was starting to get upset) was have my tooth permanently altered if I wasn't sure I really needed to. Maybe I should have just trusted him no matter what but I've had issues with him trying to rush me into an Invisalign fitting which I didn't need and I also know he is hurting for patients and it wasn't out of the question he was trying to fill a quota.

Anyway, at this point he kinda starts getting annoyed and saying if I wait too long, I might need a root canal or lose my tooth (noted, but I only want to wait a few weeks, and what if I hadn't even gone in to see him until after my vacation?). At one point, he literally tells me that my concerns are irrational. He tells me that I am losing money by not doing it now since my insurance is re-upping so soon (not really, I just am not using allocated coverage I have). He tells me that if I don't do it now, my insurance won't approve the procedure for six months (?!). I apologize for wasting his time and say that I am fine with all of this, I just do NOT want to worry about anything going wrong until I'm back from my trip, and that I'll call him when I return. That's when he hands me a mirror, JUST a mirror, and says to look at my face because it's still covered in the blue goop from the imprints and walks out of the room.

So, I recognize my role in this by letting the procedure begin at all, even though I do think I was kinda backed into a corner. However, I am pretty glad this happened the way it did because now I know NOT to go back to this guy for any further procedures. My friend recommended her dentist and if my symptoms continue after this, I am going to call them and see what they say. I'm also kind of glad that none of my imprints worked, so that they can't pass it off as me okaying the procedure and ordering a crown and billing me. As it was, the way the whole thing ended, I just left the office and I have no idea what he is charging me for what already happened.

The funny thing is if he had simply said "you know, I wish we hadn't started but I can see this isn't working out for you today. Why don't you give me a call once you've had a little time to assess and you're ready to move on," I wouldn't have had to feel so anxious, or so embarrassed, or like I did something wrong. Instead, he made me feel ashamed and lost a customer.

Anyway, has anyone else had experiences like this? How do you handle them?

No, I have never had anything like that happen. I cannot even imagine a dentist pushing so hard for a procedure that did not need to be done immediately. And repeatedly bringing up your insurance makes me see a big, red, flashing WARNING sign. I can understand a dentist trying to help you to save money, but bring it up once and be done. The incessant nagging about it just added to your reluctance, and it would have done the same for me. The tables turned, and now you felt he wasn't out for your best interest, just his pockets.

I think you did the right thing. You listened to your gut, which is usually spot on.

 

[Calee]

I haven't had that experience exactly, but it sounds horrible! I HAVE had a doctor try to pressure me into a procedure I wasn't comfortable with and I did leave and change doctors-mostly because of HOW the first doctor treated me when I didn't just go along easily with his plan. The second doctor did not do what the first doctor suggested, AND had a much better bedside manner. I was glad I trusted my gut and switched.

 

[skyblue17]

I haven't had that experience exactly, but it sounds horrible! I HAVE had a doctor try to pressure me into a procedure I wasn't comfortable with and I did leave and change doctors-mostly because of HOW the first doctor treated me when I didn't just go along easily with his plan. The second doctor did not do what the first doctor suggested, AND had a much better bedside manner. I was glad I trusted my gut and switched.

This sounds similar! I'm glad you did what was best for you! I am not in denial that I might actually need this procedure, but I am relieved that it will be done by someone who will reach that conclusion on their own and not because they think I need a "solution" or they might need the insurance money. Better bedside manner (simply not dismissing my concerns as irrational would be a start!) will be helpful too!

 

[cabanafrau]

As far as the specific issue you were having checked out, yes, it does sound similar to a dental issue I had a few years back. I did end up needing a root canal and crown.

I did not have your experience as far as how my dentist reacted. I'd been his patient for a few years by the time this problem cropped up and I know I can trust his opinion and recommendation, and I know his practice is quite healthy. My dentist checked out what he could and then sent me to an endodontist for evaluation re: a root canal. The endodontist's exam didn't indicate a definite need for a root canal, but couldn't definitively rule it out either. He referred me back to my dentist, at which point the next step was prep for a crown. That process finally uncovered the problem, which was a crack down in the floor of my tooth that x-rays couldn't reveal. The attempt to work on that resulted in an absolute demonstration of the need for a root canal, which sent me back to the endodontist and then back to my dentist when it was possible for him to work on me without causing extreme pain.

My dentist told me before I went to the endodontist the first time that he had a hunch what the problem could be, but he didn't want to proceed until I was evaluated. It turned out he went through the very same situation himself with a tooth and he explained he had no idea what caused the problem with his tooth, the same way he could not explain what happened with mine.

I have no starry eyed clue if your issue is at all the same, but I share it in case it is similar going forward. I do not blame you a bit for walking out.

 

[skyblue17]

As far as the specific issue you were having checked out, yes, it does sound similar to a dental issue I had a few years back. I did end up needing a root canal and crown.

I did not have your experience as far as how my dentist reacted. I'd been his patient for a few years by the time this problem cropped up and I know I can trust his opinion and recommendation, and I know his practice is quite healthy. My dentist checked out what he could and then sent me to an endodontist for evaluation re: a root canal. The endodontist's exam didn't indicate a definite need for a root canal, but couldn't definitively rule it out either. He referred me back to my dentist, at which point the next step was prep for a crown. That process finally uncovered the problem, which was a crack down in the floor of my tooth that x-rays couldn't reveal. The attempt to work on that resulted in an absolute demonstration of the need for a root canal, which sent me back to the endodontist and then back to my dentist when it was possible for him to work on me without causing extreme pain.

My dentist told me before I went to the endodontist the first time that he had a hunch what the problem could be, but he didn't want to proceed until I was evaluated. It turned out he went through the very same situation himself with a tooth and he explained he had no idea what caused the problem with his tooth, the same way he could not explain what happened with mine.

I have no starry eyed clue if your issue is at all the same, but I share it in case it is similar going forward. I do not blame you a bit for walking out.

Thank you! I don't want to have serious issues going forward, but my mom had issues with her crowns for as long as I can remember, so I didn't want to jump into having one so quickly, without even having time to think about it. There is a pretty big filling in this tooth so I know it is possible that the tooth is really fractured. It's really more the timing than anything, and I kind of regret going to have it checked yesterday at all. Either way, he would have reacted the same if I didn't want to jump in immediately, so it's for the best I can have someone else take a look at it instead.

 

[RUDisney]

I walked out of a pediatric dentists office when they wouldn't let me go back with my DS. It was our first visit. I knew DS needed a lot of work. He didn't speak English yet and I didn't know this guy was who wanted to take my son without me being there. He told me in the waiting room that he'd want to put my DS under to do the work. I didn't know if he would tolerate the anesthesia.

I took him back to our regular dentist and sat next to him during the procedures so I could translate for the dentist. DS felt much better with me being there. We fixed his cavities in quarter quadrants over 4 visits with just Novocain.

That made me feel much better and DS's teeth looked great after the work was done... until they fell out for adult teeth.

We have to follow our gut when it comes to medicine.

 

[skyblue17]

I walked out of a pediatric dentists office when they wouldn't let me go back with my DS. It was our first visit. I knew DS needed a lot of work. He didn't speak English yet and I didn't know this guy was who wanted to take my son without me being there. He told me in the waiting room that he'd want to put my DS under to do the work. I didn't know if he would tolerate the anesthesia.

I took him back to our regular dentist and sat next to him during the procedures so I could translate for the dentist. DS felt much better with me being there. We fixed his cavities in quarter quadrants over 4 visits with just Novocain.

That made me feel much better and DS's teeth looked great after the work was done... until they fell out for adult teeth.

We have to follow our gut when it comes to medicine.

That's crazy, I can't imagine not letting you back! It's super important to able to express discomfort or concern when getting a procedure done, and if you can't do that for yourself, having an advocate is a no-brainer! What was his reasoning for not allowing it?

 

[Lumpy1106]

My daughter has you beat;
I pulled my kids out of school to take my DD13 and DD5 to the dentist. DD5 is having her teeth cleaned while DD13 is supposed to be having a laser treatment done - don't remember the specifics and it doesn't matter, because she bolted. We live about a mile from the dentist and she took off for home. Meanwhile I can't leave because DD5 is still in the chair. We are of course worried, but not overly so. Before DD5 is done, we get a call from the school they go to. It's a small private school - a parent there saw her walking home, recognized the school uniform and called the school - they in turn called us.

 

[Turn the Page]

We sort of did this with DD13's former orthodontist. She had been seeing an ortho for a few years but we hadn't done anything but extractions because the ortho wanted to wait and see what developed as DD has a pretty unique case. All this was fine. I found it a bit odd that we were paying $40 for each observation appointment but whatever. Then almost a year and a half ago the ortho says "she's ready to start treatment, it will be $450 for records and then we will discuss a treatment plan and oh by the way, here is a paper about our financial policies with a sample price range from $6800 to $8900 but that is just an average and doesn't apply to your child at all."

Ummm.....no thanks.

We got a second opinion, the new ortho also recommended waiting, and finally said she was ready for treatment last month and quoted us a price that was slightly less than the low end of the spectrum the first ortho gave us as a sample.

 

[Turn the Page]

That's crazy, I can't imagine not letting you back! It's super important to able to express discomfort or concern when getting a procedure done, and if you can't do that for yourself, having an advocate is a no-brainer! What was his reasoning for not allowing it?

A lot of pediatric dentists don't allow it because the parents get distressed and the kids feed off that and get more agitated than they normally are if the parents aren't there. However, in the PP's case when the child was old enough to express discomfort or communicate but couldn't speak English I would think having someone there who could translate would be helpful.

 

[Melissa55]

I haven’t walked out of a dentist appointment, but I have walked out of a gastroenterologist appointment. I started having stomach issues in college and when I went to the doctor, she didn’t listen to me from Day 1. Before even any endoscopy/colonoscopy, she said she suspected me of having a condition that didn’t fit my symptoms. After going ahead with the colonoscopy/endoscopy, she completely ignored the results and still tried to diagnose me with her initial diagnosis. When I requested my medical files she’d flat-out LIED about my reported symptoms to make them fit her idea. It was nuts.

You are probably better off for having walked out before anything was actually completed.

 

[DLgal]

Find a new dentist, like now. That is completely unacceptable.

I have a tooth that has transient sensitivity, but my dentist has so far taken a VERY conservative approach. She first gave me MI paste, which helped a but, but didn't solve the issue. She then looked more closely and discovered an area where the enamel had eroded away, which is where most of the sensitivity is. She bonded that part with a shallow filling. Helped about 50%. Still have some sensitivity, but it's not really bothering me daily like it used to. She told me if the filling didn't work, she would then refer me to am endodontist. I cannot even imagine her trying to force a crown on me after just one appointment regarding a sensitive tooth.

 

[emily nicole]

Re: pediatric dentists. Some are super strict about not letting parents back. My parents took me to one such place when I was a kid. I don't know how old I was, but quite young. I'm guessing 5 or so. I remember being scared and crying, and the dentist clamping his hand over my mouth and yelling SHUT UP at me. I made sure, when I had my son, to choose a place that allows (and welcomes) parents in the treatment area.

 

[skyblue17]

Find a new dentist, like now. That is completely unacceptable.

I have a tooth that has transient sensitivity, but my dentist has so far taken a VERY conservative approach. She first gave me MI paste, which helped a but, but didn't solve the issue. She then looked more closely and discovered an area where the enamel had eroded away, which is where most of the sensitivity is. She bonded that part with a shallow filling. Helped about 50%. Still have some sensitivity, but it's not really bothering me daily like it used to. She told me if the filling didn't work, she would then refer me to am endodontist. I cannot even imagine her trying to force a crown on me after just one appointment regarding a sensitive tooth.

I already have the number of a new dentist, who I am going to contact after I return from vacation.

I do have a filling in this tooth already, so I think there could be issues with the filling or tooth. It doesn't really bother me daily. Right now, I feel some tension over there but that's likely because my jaw was open so wide for so long getting multiple x-rays and doing the imprints and is a little sore. But this thread is the first time I even heard of being referred to an endodontist! That he didn't even mention such a thing for an otherwise healthy tooth that didn't show signs of issues makes me even more concerned!

Also, perhaps someone knows, why would they being imprints of my full tooth if it was going to be drilled out to put the crown on? Wouldn't that make the imprint incorrect?

 

[DLgal]

I already have the number of a new dentist, who I am going to contact after I return from vacation.

I do have a filling in this tooth already, so I think there could be issues with the filling or tooth. It doesn't really bother me daily. Right now, I feel some tension over there but that's likely because my jaw was open so wide for so long getting multiple x-rays and doing the imprints and is a little sore. But this thread is the first time I even heard of being referred to an endodontist! That he didn't even mention such a thing for an otherwise healthy tooth that didn't show signs of issues makes me even more concerned!

Also, perhaps someone knows, why would they being imprints of my full tooth if it was going to be drilled out to put the crown on? Wouldn't that make the imprint incorrect?

The crown fits over your existing tooth like a sleeve. Only the center of your tooth and the roots would be drilled out and filled. The crown provides an exoskeleton, basically, since your tooth won't be strong enough after a root canal.

I also have a filling in this tooth from long ago. My dentist said it is possible the filling is cracked or just worn out. I have had pain/sensitivity in this tooth for over 20 years. I was told that sometimes, a healthy tooth will just be hypersensitive for no reason. I went to the dentist because I began having sensitivity in a different part of the tooth than usual.

 

[DLgal]

FWIW, the criteria that my dentist gave me for seeing an endodontist were:

1. Sensitivity that doesn't disappear within 10 seconds of contact with the offending hot or cold food

2. Pain when biting down

3. Sensitivity or pain that comes on with NO stimulus

 

[cabanafrau]

I already have the number of a new dentist, who I am going to contact after I return from vacation.

I do have a filling in this tooth already, so I think there could be issues with the filling or tooth. It doesn't really bother me daily. Right now, I feel some tension over there but that's likely because my jaw was open so wide for so long getting multiple x-rays and doing the imprints and is a little sore. But this thread is the first time I even heard of being referred to an endodontist! That he didn't even mention such a thing for an otherwise healthy tooth that didn't show signs of issues makes me even more concerned!

Also, perhaps someone knows, why would they being imprints of my full tooth if it was going to be drilled out to put the crown on? Wouldn't that make the imprint incorrect?

The imprint is so they can construct the crown to be as much like your tooth in size and shape for the best fit.

I also forgot the initial first "treatment" my dentist prescribed when this issue cropped up, taking some Sudafed for a few days in case I was getting any nerve pressure from my sinuses as this was an upper tooth.

 

[skyblue17]

The crown fits over your existing tooth like a sleeve. Only the center of your tooth and the roots would be drilled out and filled. The crown provides an exoskeleton, basically, since your tooth won't be strong enough after a root canal.

I also have a filling in this tooth from long ago. My dentist said it is possible the filling is cracked or just worn out. I have had pain/sensitivity in this tooth for over 20 years. I was told that sometimes, a healthy tooth will just be hypersensitive for no reason. I went to the dentist because I began having sensitivity in a different part of the tooth than usual.

Ah, got it! I don't believe I need a root canal (at least, I hope not!). I do want to have this checked before it's too late, though, which is why I am going to call the other dentist in the next few weeks. I just couldn't imagine having an issue with a new crown, temporary or permanent, while in Jamaica. "I'll give you glue" just killed me, lol.

 

[DuskKodesh]

I mentioned on another topic here that I did step out from a dentist appointment once.

I had a filling to do, it was a shallow one. Previously knowing how I am with needles they'd judge whether it could be done without or not and tell me. If it requires a needle they'd give me pills and wait until I was loopy AND I'd have my then boyfriend cover my eyes. (When I say I'm afraid of needles I mean it seriously). So I lay down, they start the gas, I chill. I open my eyes and he has a needle right above my mouth and jams it down. Note it was my bottom jaw so... OW. I freak out so the assistant has to stop what she's doing and is trying to comfort me. He pulls the needle out and I lose it. Absolutely and completely lose it. He told me they 'changed their mind' about it needing the shot but I'm all numb now so I should just get it done. I storm out.

Never went back to him in my life. Never. I found a much better dentist who was horrified at that story and has never done anything like that nor pushed me to anything I don't need.
You definitely should not even remotely go back, a good dentist will always give you time to think over things. And even with big procedures they should always keep you comfortable. My hubs had major phobia over his crown but the dentist he ended up going to did it so well he said that to him it wasn't any worse than any other procedure.