Have You Ever Hosted A Foreign Exchange Student? How Did It Go?

[rastahomie]

I apologize if this has been asked before, but:

A local woman works with a foreign exchange program, and she went on the town Facebook page recently, practically begging for people to be host families. I half-jokingly told her that I'd consider it if I had a spare bed, and she told me she'd start making phone calls.

I actually think it might be fun to host a kid from another country, provided that:

a) He was an only child at home, because he'd be an only child here.
b) He was non-religious, because we aren't church-goers.
C) He wasn't allergic to cats.

I'm not a parent, but I do have a "less is more" attitude towards parenting, so as long as he stayed out of my doob, treated the cat OK, and flushed the toilet, I see little room for conflict.

If you've hosted a foreign exchange student, what was the experience like?

 

[WebmasterMaryJo]

As a last minute request, much like what you're describing here, we were asked to host an exchange student from Germany. She was almost a year younger than me, and very smart. That experience was life-changing in a good way. We hosted her for a year.

 

[mombrontrent]

We hosted a 16 year old Japanese girl a few years ago for three months. It was a good experience and she was a great girl but I declined to do it again even though they really needed hosts. I was so busy with work and my theee kids schedules running around all the time by myself as my DH works nights. It was one extra person who needed to be chauffeured around and I felt bad that I couldn't cook great homemade dinners everyday like she was used to at home. Sometimes it was soup and sandwiches or pizza on the run and even though I'm sure she didn't mind or even enjoyed it I still felt guilty. Plus I felt bad if I wasn't immediately on top of keeping my the house neat and tidy all the time.

 

[Klayfish]

We didn't have a foreign exchange student, but we did have live in au pairs for over 4 years...very much a similar concept. To say we didn't enjoy the experience is an understatement and we couldn't wait to be done with it. You definitely have to be the right kind of person/people to enjoy the experience. DW and I aren't.

 

[Micca]

We've never done it, seems to me to be a huge responsibility. You get a teenager that wants to do teenage things like stay out late, hangin' out with kids you don't know, getting into stuff that teenagers should be staying away from. I feel like I'd be responsible for their safety and would spend a lot of time keeping the leash short. I'm sure it's a cool cultural experience but it seems like a lot of work.

 

[Klayfish]

We've never done it, seems to me to be a huge responsibility. You get a teenager that wants to do teenage things like stay out late, hangin' out with kids you don't know, getting into stuff that teenagers should be staying away from. I feel like I'd be responsible for their safety and would spend a lot of time keeping the leash short. I'm sure it's a cool cultural experience but it seems like a lot of work.

Yes, that's a big part of it. They also want to borrow your car, eat all your food (no, of course we have no problems feeding them, but you know what I mean), etc...and they're not even your own child, so dealing with those issues takes on a whole different dynamic.

 

[MommyinHonduras]

We hosted and I worked with a company placing students. 12 years later still friends with the girl we hosted from Romania.

Placing kids I saw all the good, the bad and the ugly. More of the ugly came from host families than the kids. The parents pay a lot of money to send their kids and have high expectations, the exchange students know if they cause trouble they will be sent home no refunds and most likely will have a hard time getting a visa to return in the future. Be honest about your above details and read over the profiles of the kids to make sure you pick a child that sounds most suited to your family and it should be a great experience. How is public transportation by where you live? That is the biggest thing as the kids do not drive. You will need to help transport them if they can not walk or take a bus where they go to school.

 

[rastahomie]

The high school is within walking distance, and failing that they could take the bus.

I'm not concerned with them wanting to borrow my car. Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't the whole legal-driving-age-is-16 thing mostly limited to the Americas (viz, USA, Mexico, Canada, and so on)?

 

[Magpie]

The high school is within walking distance, and failing that they could take the bus.

I'm not concerned with them wanting to borrow my car. Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't the whole legal-driving-age-is-16 thing mostly limited to the Americas (viz, USA, Mexico, Canada, and so on)?

Also, if they come from another country, they'd need an International Driving Permit, as their own country's license wouldn't be valid in the US. And, it's highly unlikely a teenager would possess one of those.

 

[MommyinHonduras]

The company I worked with it is strictly forbidden for the exchange students to drive.

 

[MommyinHonduras]

Also, if they come from another country, they'd need an International Driving Permit, as their own country's license wouldn't be valid in the US. And, it's highly unlikely a teenager would possess one of those.

This is not true. I drive with my Honduran driver's licence nothing else is required. But you do have to purchase insurance. That is not easy for drivers under 21.

 

[rastahomie]

Why anyone would want to come to this dried-up little mining town in the middle of nowhere is beyond me. Perhaps they match kids from dried-up little mining towns at home so they don't feel too out of place. Nevertheless, the lady who manages the program says the kids come with their own spending money. I'd be glad to take them to Six Flags, to the St. Louis sites, and so on.

 

[wilkeliza]

It is hard to tell how it will go. My cousins hosted when I was little and their "sister" was amazing. She fit in with the family so well, was so sweet, and really got along with all of us and continued to send the entire family Christmas packages for years. She considers all of us her US family.

When I was a teenager we decided why not we had a spare bedroom and it was a last minute thing. It was a nightmare. Our family never should have been approved in the first place but besides that the exchange student didn't realize she was going to be placed with a family in a rural area, that we were not rich by any means, and to top it off was a crazy strict vegetarian. She walked around talking about what terrible people we were for eating meat and it came out after a bit that she was also a nazi sympathizer. So yeah she lasted a month or two in our house then was sent to live with someone else.

 

[rastahomie]

We didn't have a foreign exchange student, but we did have live in au pairs for over 4 years...very much a similar concept. To say we didn't enjoy the experience is an understatement and we couldn't wait to be done with it. You definitely have to be the right kind of person/people to enjoy the experience. DW and I aren't.

I think there's a pretty big difference between hosting someone who their self paid to be here, rather than having a live-in employee who is an adult.

 

[wilkeliza]

This is not true. I drive with my Honduran driver's licence nothing else is required. But you do have to purchase insurance. That is not easy for drivers under 21.

It depends on what state you live in. Some states require an international drivers certificate and others do not.

 

[rastahomie]

It is hard to tell how it will go. My cousins hosted when I was little and their "sister" was amazing. She fit in with the family so well, was so sweet, and really got along with all of us and continued to send the entire family Christmas packages for years. She considers all of us her US family.

When I was a teenager we decided why not we had a spare bedroom and it was a last minute thing. It was a nightmare. Our family never should have been approved in the first place but besides that the exchange student didn't realize she was going to be placed with a family in a rural area, that we were not rich by any means, and to top it off was a crazy strict vegetarian. She walked around talking about what terrible people we were for eating meat and it came out after a bit that she was also a nazi sympathizer. So yeah she lasted a month or two in our house then was sent to live with someone else.

Wow that's terrifying.

Back when I went to church, I was friends with a family who was always taking in foreign exchange students. For some reason they always had Asian girls. For some other (wink wink) reason, the girls never lasted more than a few weeks before frantic phone calls were made and they were placed somewhere else. I'm not saying the dad was probably being inappropriate with them, but I'm almost positive the dad was being inappropriate with them.

I would hope that these agencies screen host families.

 

[Magpie]

This is not true. I drive with my Honduran driver's licence nothing else is required. But you do have to purchase insurance. That is not easy for drivers under 21.

Really? The US accepts Honduran driver's licenses? I know they take Canadian ones, but I didn't know they were also cool with Honduras!

I do know that if you're coming from Europe, you may need an International Driver's License. (Source: A friend of a friend was visiting from the UK and needed to get one before arriving in the US for an extended stay.)

I looked it up, it apparently depends on the state...

"People who drive in the U.S. must have a valid driver's license. Some states require an International Driving Permit (IDP) from foreign nationals, in addition to a valid license from your own country. Check with the motor vehicle department of each state you will drive in for its requirements. " https://www.usa.gov/visitors-driving

 

[wilkeliza]

Wow that's terrifying.

Back when I went to church, I was friends with a family who was always taking in foreign exchange students. For some reason they always had Asian girls. For some other (wink wink) reason, the girls never lasted more than a few weeks before frantic phone calls were made and they were placed somewhere else. I'm not saying the dad was probably being inappropriate with them, but I'm almost positive the dad was being inappropriate with them.

I would hope that these agencies screen host families.

I can tell you for a fact if they actually had screened us they would have known it was not a good fit. I have not been quite here about my child hood abuse at the hands of my father but on top of that my mother was battling cancer and well just other issues should have made us a no from the start.

 

[MommyinHonduras]

Yes that is why host families need to read the profiles. It will state where they are coming from and their hopes for a p!ace to live. Many do want cities with lots to see and do others are more introverted and want quiet rural. I places kids in the Springfield, MO area. Definitely not big city life but a great Midwest city with charm.

 

[MommyinHonduras]

I can tell you for a fact if they actually had screened us they would have known it was not a good fit. I have not been quite here about my child hood abuse at the hands of my father but on top of that my mother was battling cancer and well just other issues should have made us a no from the start.

Sorry for your rough family life growing up. Yes some just place kids for the $$$$ like any business there are good reputable ones and bad ones. A lot of money changes hands but the host family gets nothing. Some families will pay anything to get their kids a US visa and have the money to spare. And some kids think everything is NYC or LA.