Have you ever been falsely accused of child abuse?

[Dizneefamily+4]

When my dd11 was an infant, I was walking across our house headed towards her bedroom. I had her in one arm, diaper bag on the other and the cordless phone crooked between my shoulder and ear talking to my dad. As I walked into her bedroom, I heard a loud thump, but couldn't figure out what it was - until dd started screaming! I had hit her head on the door frame as I walked through. Big bump already forming, I hung up on my dad, got my dh and we rushed to the ER. I thought FOR SURE they'd call CPS because even though that was the truth, that story sounds totally fabricated! They believed me however and my dd had a nasty bump, but was perfectly fine otherwise!

 

[MaryLovesPoohBear]

My aunt was accused by the ER staff and they threatened to call CPS.

My cousin was a klutz. She walked into walls, tripped over her own two feet and fell off of chairs. (No, she doesn't have a disability.)

After her second trip to the ER in as many days, the staff was understandably concerned. Until the doctor walked in and told them that he had been at the family's house for both incidents. He had told my aunt to meet him at the ER so he could put in stitches the first time and put my cousin in a cast the second.

 

[Poohlove]

ITA! This reminds me of another thread where the subject of a non-apology was mentioned. You've also got to love the judgmental people who say they're not judging you, even though their post is obviously judgmental & basically says, "I'm not judging you, but I can't believe the parents didn't think you their long time friend could be guilty & have you investigated." For the non-apology, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to offend you, but it's your fault for what you typed." If nothing else, hopefully people will learn there are many judgmental people here who automatically think the worst of everyone. Sharing a lot of personal information isn't a good idea.

My mom always told me not to trust someone that said to trust them. If they feel the need to point it out then they must doubt themselves.

When someone starts a statement saying "I'm not judging you but..." I kind of feel like they are.

 

[Marchand63]

Not accused but got a dirty look then an apology from an idiotic nurse in my DS's pediatrician office.

We thought DS had chicken pox so called his Dr. The nurse requested we come to back door rather than through waiting room, perfectly reasonable. Now this February in New England so snow & ice. We arrive at office had down driveway to back door that has 4 or 5 steps. I am carrying DS who was maybe 18/19 months. Apparently the office neglected to clean steps under the snow. Next thing I know I am falling sideways with DS in my arms. We hit the railing, he gets the buttress full on his forehead. I am abit panicky but he seems ok & we are at the DR so they will check him out.

We get to exam room. I pull of snowsuit & hat. Nurse looks at my DS then at me, she asks in a most condescending voice pointing to the bump & red mark n his forehead" Now how did that happen?"
I just looked at her surprised at her tone. She asks again only a bit sterner "How did he get that injury?" Well he got it when I fell down the stairs out back that YOUR office neglected to clean the ice off.
She just left the room. I do believe I had something to say under my breath after she left. Never had her as his nurse again.

 

[bdcp]

One of my best friends lived nearby when our kids were young (1980s/90s) and her youngest son (about 1 at the time) was pretty fearless so he got hurt quite a few times. The first time, one of his siblings left the basement door open and he fell down the stairs (carpeted, finished basement). He ended up with a couple of bruises. I met her at the ER and she was afraid they were going to report her, but they didn't. When he was about 15 months old, he stood up in the front of the grocery cart and fell into the back and broke his wrist, so another trip to the ER, but no issue. When he was about two, his mom had made cookies and when they were cooling on the stove, he reached up and grabbed one, which he wouldn't drop even though it was really hot. He also got into the vitamins and ate quite a few. He had a few other adventures growing up. More than his two older siblings combined. He's now grown and married and expecting their first child. I just hope this child is not as adventurous. My point is, kids do things that cause injury to themselves, even with good parents. My friend and her husband raised three fabulous, successful and happy adults, but to read what I posted, you'd think they were neglectful, which they were not. He was just one of those kids who knew what he wanted and was willing to risk injury and burns to get it.

 

[ronandannette]

My darling, sweet, tiny DS was injured as an infant while he was in the care of a relative. We didn't recognize just how severe the injury was until the next day and were absolutely stunned and devastated when X-rays diagnosed a skull fracture. The hospital followed their protocols including more X-rays and the examination of every inch of his body for signs of previous injuries. After finding none and interviewing us quite aggressively the staff social worker signed off the file without any further referral. The memories make ice run down my spine and I've often wondered what we would have done if they had felt the need to pursue an investigation. How would an innocent family defend themselves in a case with no evidence other than the condition of their child?

 

[DisneyWorldMimi]

Four years ago my daughter and granddaughter moved back in with my DH & I My daughter told the daycare that she was previously taking my granddaughter to, that she would not be back since it was across town and the new place was 3 doors down from my house. The owner of the old daycare called Child protective services on my daughter. She was on her way to work on the local transportation system when her ex-boyfriend called her. CPS was at his house. My daughter had to change trolley's and get to his house to talk to this woman. She told her that she no longer lived at his house. CPS person had to see my granddaughter. So DD calls me and lets me know this person is on the way over. This was the day before Thanksgiving.

We sat and talked and she was telling me some things that were said about my granddaughter and what my DD was not doing for her. She said that she couldn't see her food on her plate and didn't know how to feed herself at 2. I told her that she was a smart child and if someone was going to hand feed her, she was going to let them. Then that she couldn't hear. I said she was like me. If I am concentrating on something and someone says my name, I usually don't hear them. My granddaughter was the same way.

The person from CPS said they could not tell me who called in the report, but I knew exactly who it was. I told her who it was and why she had done it. The woman didn't like me and then when my DD went to pull my granddaughter out, she got ticked off. I had worked for this woman and the employees at the daycare didn't like me. I take that back, the owner and her two right hand people didn't like me. What made me mad was that when my granddaughter was in the hospital for 6 days someone took a blanket that was handmade for my granddaughter. I know it was one of the employees, but I couldn't prove it. I called a friend who worked in a different department but one that was associated with CPS. I said if I gave her a name, could she verify with just a yes or no answer. Since she had known my DD for sometime and could not believe what had happened, she agreed to this. I gave her the person's name and she confirmed that I was right in my assumptions. When I explained what happened, she said this woman had done this before for similar situations.

We had to go to a couple exams and then after waiting for over 2 months, we called to find out what happened. They said the case was closed in December and my DD was notified. My DD never received any type of letter, so it went to her previous address (her ex's) instead of the new address on file.

 

[Kathryn Merteuil]

Yes. Some people with grudges do horrible things.

A VERY common conversation in an interview...

alleged perp- "I know it had to be 'such and such' call this in on me, right?"
caseworker - "All I can say is there have been allegations"
alleged perp -"Well I am going to call them on her and see how she likes it"
caseworker- "if you have concerns about a child's safety, please call the hotline"

SOOOOOOOO many reports are just done in retaliation of other reports. YES it is illegal to make a false report. NO there is no punishment for doing it (at least in this state)

 

[DisneyWorldMimi]

When my first DH & I were stationed in the UK, my Dd was attending the daycare on base. We lived about 20 miles away in off base housing. My Dd is what I call a "hot bod", meaning she is always warm. I would put her in a snow suit and by the time we got to the base she would be all sweaty.
We were trying to potty train her and at that time the daycare did not help with potty training. They were either in diapers or panties. With 2 working parents it got a bit confusing for Dd. They daycare reported us to the hospital saying we didn't bathe her.
When we were called in I told them that she had a bath every night and that she would get hot on the drive to the base. If I didn't put her in the snow suit, they would say that I wasn't dressing her warmly enough. I was also mad that the daycare did not talk to me first. They tried to su that they had given me a notice and I was able to prove that they hadn't. The teacher in the class was supposed to have given it to me. The person we saw at the hospital told the director that she was the one responsible for notifying me, not the teacher. After they examined my Dd and watched her play for awhile, and then put her warm cost on for a couple minutes, they saw just how fast she got warm. They dropped everything and told the daycare director to speak to any parents prior to contacting the head of the hospital again.
When my first DH and I split up and I moved back to the US, I had to hand carry our medical records. Needless to say, that false accusation came out of my Dd's records.
She is still warm bodied, as is my granddaughter. My granddaughter's temp actually rises at night. I was always cold natured and carried a coat everywhere. Now I still keep a coat in the car but don't use it as much. Menopause is a"B".

 

[JanBlessed]

A good friend of mine was! I was appalled - knowing that this couldn't be true. The child had two minor fractures. No one knew how this happened: but we are talking about a one year old ! The child was taken into custody, along with the sister.

Luckily, their neighbors agreed to be the guardians for the year long ordeal. They had to go to parenting classes, etc.

It was a nightmare !

IMHO, I think that it was more of a racial thing... Sadly... It just was so drastic for what happened to the child! And what did the other kid have to do with it??

 

[Turn the Page]

A good friend of mine was! I was appalled - knowing that this couldn't be true. The child had two minor fractures. No one knew how this happened: but we are talking about a one year old ! The child was taken into custody, along with the sister.

Luckily, their neighbors agreed to be the guardians for the year long ordeal. They had to go to parenting classes, etc.

It was a nightmare !

IMHO, I think that it was more of a racial thing... Sadly... It just was so drastic for what happened to the child! And what did the other kid have to do with it??

When CPS pulls a child for suspected abuse/neglect they pull every child in the house. It doesn't even matter if the child is biologically related or if the abuse occurred in the home or even if it was done by one of the adults in the home.

About 18 months ago my stepdaughter came home from her biological mothers house with a black eye saying mommy hit me. We did what we were supposed to do and reported it (if we didn't the day care provider would have as she is a mandatory reporter and there was a very obvious black eye). Well, DH's ex lives in another part of the state and is thus under the jurisdiction of a different DHS office but because DD6 lives here with us technically the case was under our local office. As far as I know her mother never even denied it, she admitted to having hit her but the case worker was all up our butts demanding to know how often my DD10 sees her father, where she spends her time, demanding to speak with her, demanding to see her room, etc. all while telling us the CPS office where her mother lives will not bother to send someone out to her house to investigate her as DD6 was only there on the weekends and it wasn't worth having someone go out on a non week day. She also tried to tell us that we had no reason to worry, neither of the kids were in danger of being taken away they just have to evaluate their home life. Ummm.....I'm not stupid. If you're evaluating their home life if you find something you don't like you will yank both of them. Thankfully someone pulled their head out of their butt downstate and sent someone out to the house to do some sort of in home parenting classes with DH's ex while DD was with her. I was never so happy to get a text from anyone as when we were notified the case was closed.

 

[Bilberry]

I've not been accused of child abuse before, thankfully.

If not familiar, something that might be of interest is the court case of Dr. Waney Squier from the UK. She has been described as a world renowned neuropathologist. She also does not believe in shaken baby syndrome. As imagined no tests have been done showing shaking a baby will cause shaken baby syndrome for ethical reasons.

The Dr. testified about her not believing in shaken baby syndrome in court. As a result she ran into trouble with the law.

There have been a few articles written what is happening. As can be imagined, this is highly controversial. People have gone to jail for the agreement that child abuse and death has occurred over shaken baby syndrome.

A couple articles on this:

http://thejusticegap.com/2016/05/silencing-dr-waney-squier/

snippet:

‘It is a sad day for science when a 21st-century inquisition denies one doctor the freedom to question ‘mainstream’ beliefs. It is a particularly sad day for the parent or carer who ends up on the wrong end of another doctor’s ‘diagnosis’ that an infant was shaken, when the child may have died from entirely different, natural causes.’
Clive Stafford Smith and Michael Mansfield QC

&

https://drmalcolmkendrick.org/2016/10/20/saturated-fat-and-heart-disease/

excerpt:

...Dr Waney Squier does not believe that shaken baby syndrome exists. Of course she knows that the triad of subdural haematoma, retinal bleeding and brain swelling exists. But she believes there could be other explanations. Including, perish the very thought, an accidental fall.

Because she does not believe in shaken baby syndrome, she has presented evidence in court which has tended to undermine the prosecution case against parents and carers, accused of shaking a baby and causing severe brain damage. Much to the annoyance of the police and they then, for it was indeed them, reported Dr Squier to the GMC.

Now, I know what most of you are thinking. Surely ‘shaken baby syndrome’ exists. This must have been proven. Well, it has not. If you think about it, how could it be proven? How do you think a study on shaken baby syndrome could ever be done? Get five hundred children, shake them forcefully and see what happens to their brains. I suspect you might find gaining ethical approval for a such a study might be tricky.

Despite this, and the fact that shaken baby syndrome represents an ‘unproven hypothesis’ almost all experts around the world are convinced that shaken baby syndrome exists. Dr Squier, who seems a well-rounded and sensible lady, has made the terrible mistake of questioning that this dogma. There could be, shock horror, other possible causes.

The police objected, judges objected, her peers objected, and she has been struck off. No longer able to practice medicine anywhere in the world. She has become a medical pariah.

The good news is that her case in going in front of an actual court of law in the UK. I strongly suspect (maybe I just hope) that her ‘conviction’ will be overturned. She does have the support of a number of other paediatricians around the world. However, in the meantime, other doctors, who do not believe in shaken baby syndrome, will not dare go to court to testify in support of those accused of shaking babies. Such is the power of the Spanish Inquisition....

&

Why the shaken baby syndrome tribunal led to Dr Waney Squier being struck off

https://www.theguardian.com/society...bunal-led-to-dr-waney-squier-being-struck-off

 

[Kitty 34]

nope

 

[klmall]

I watched as a male, fellow middle school teacher was falsely accused of sexual abuse by two female students. The girls later recanted and admitted it was because he gave them detention and they didn't want to tell their parents. Too late though for saving his reputation and even though he was exonerated by our school system and police the damage was done in the local papers and media. He decided to take early retirement at a penalty to save his sanity.

 

[Tinijocaro]

No, but as a mandated reporter, I reported my first one this summer. Little girl came to her cello lessons with blisters on the pads of all eight of her fingers, not on thumbs. She offered no explanation when asked about -just shrugged her shoulders. Mom said she didn't know what happened either. That may be true but something happened and it needed to be reported. Mom was mad and emailed me, pulled her daughter out of cello lessons. I never accused her, although ccused she felt I accused her.

That's the beauty of the mandated reporter program. It's not my job to figure out what happened or who did it. My job is just to report. Never did find out what happened-they don't tell us, which makes sense.

 

[luvsJack]

Not that the parents should've never not believed the child, but that they absolutely should've taken the allegation seriously and looked into it. The OP made it sound like the parents just brushed it off because, "Nah, he's a good guy, he would never do something like that." I don't care how many years after the fact, if someone told me their child had ever accused me of sexual abuse, you better believe I'm asking for ALL the details and I would never be recounting that story without including extremely pertinent points like, how did this misunderstanding happen in the first place? Not to mention how angry I'd be with my supposed "friends" if I found out they'd hidden all this from me for years while continuing to let me be put in situations where I was alone with a child who was accusing me of sexual abuse.


Okay, so that's me you're talking about and yes, I do think there's something wrong with a parent who would blow off those kind of concerns instead of looking into them, no matter how good of a friend the child is accusing. Heck, if my child said those things about my husband I would have to take it seriously even though I'd find it all but impossible to believe. Asking further questions of the OP to see if what he said in his first post was truly the extent to which the parents addressed the situation is not the same as thinking the worst of him. Once he elaborated, it sounds like the parents did, in fact, handle the situation appropriately by following up on it and digging a little deeper.

That's you, that's not the pp. You can't assume that anyone would have the same reaction to something as you.

The child was between 3 and 5. We don't know what she said to her grandmother. Grandmother might be the paranoid type and the parents may know that. So for them talking to their child was enough and they may have been embarrassed about the grandmother jumping to conclusions. Younger ds dated a young lady that was paranoid about his daughters like that. She took everything they said about things at their Mom's as they were being abused. DS was calmer about stuff and talked to them and talked to the ex about it. The young lady even went so far as to speak to a counselor about one "incident". The counselor threatened to call CPS until she talked to DS and the girls and figured out that the young lady was being overly dramatic.