Have you ever asked for a different teacher?

[teacup princess]

I don't know what to do. Has anyone here ever requested their child be moved to a different classroom? If so, what was their response and how did it go?

We are 3 weeks in to my son's Kindergarten year and we are having some trouble. I knew ahead of time my son would give some teacher a run for his/her money but I didn't expect the problems we are currently having. He's a good, sweet kid but can't sit still to save his life, doesn't easily take no for an answer or follow direction well, and isn't super interested in learning. He'd rather play. I expected these issues would come up, but I'm not sure the teacher we were assigned is equipped to handle them. The classroom seems very disorganized. I go end for 20 minutes twice a week to help with the end of the day procedures and every time I've been there she has them go through a different end of day procedure. She then seems irritated that he doesn't know what to do or do as he's told. I can only imagine the rest of the day goes like this.

What has me really concerned is that he told me yesterday he had to sit by himself at lunch the other kids don't like him and tell him he's bad. He's also starting to show some aggression toward the other children. He's never shown aggression before. I'm wondering if this is from his behavior toward the kids or if the kids are picking this up from the teacher. I e-mailed the teacher last night to try to discuss things with her and asked to set up a meeting this a.m. No response.

We didn't have any issues whatsoever in preschool and he always looked forward to going. He tells me he doesn't want to go to Kindergarten anymore so I'm really distraght that he first formal education year is starting out this way.

 

[tammyroo]

Let me preface my comments by saying that I am a licensed professional counselor and a mom of a very active son who has a learning disability, specifically ADD.
Your son's behavior could be an indication that something else is going that he can't control and therefore he becomes easily frustrated, distracted, impulsive and aggressive. If it continues, I would strongly encourage you to have him evaluated by a licensed child psychologist. Why have him get a bad rep at school and get labeled negatively by teachers for behaviors that he can't actually control?
Having said that....I also have learned that sometimes there are things going on at home that lead to these behaviors in school. I would encourage you to look at the structure and consistency of discipline you create in your home to see if there are any improvement that can be made in that area.
And, to finally answer your questions, yes I have requested a different teacher once (only for my son, not for my daughter). Sometimes, they have to learn to get along with difficult people just like we all do. But, if I suspect a teacher does not have the attitude or skills necessary to work with my child then I would not hesitate to request a different one. In my son's case, the teacher was not tolerant of disorganization in any way. It wasn't a good match because she saw this as an intentional thing on his part and not as part of the ADD. Ironically, she is one of his teachers this year and things seem to be going well so far.
Hope this helps. I would definitely talk to the school guidance counselor before making any decisions.

 

[teacup princess]

Thanks for the reply. I'm fully aware and expecting to get lots of armchair diagnoses of ADD. That wasn't really what I was hoping for here. I'm just wondering how did the school respond if you requested a different teacher? Anything I need to consider if I feel it needs to go that route?

 

[princessmom29]

i would at least meet wih the teacher before you request that he be moved. The school is highly unlikely to consider it untill you ahve made an effort to work with your current teacher. Ask her for a schedule of his day, and talk to her about where you see a potential problem, and what has worked for you in the past. It you think he would benefit from more structure say so. IF she still makes no effprt to fix it, then go to the admin. with this info and try to get him moved.

As a side note, You may want to consider having him evaluated for ADD,ADHD, if it is suggested by his classroom teacher. I have suggested it for students in the past, and met with a lot of resentment from parents for even bringing it up, but as teachers we are trained to look for signs and to recommend that the child be evaluated by a physician. Please do not be scared of an ADD diagnosis form a liscensed professional. It is a true nurotansmitter deficiency, and not a commentary on your parenting or anything else. It can be improved with medication, but by little else. Getting the diagnosis and the medication they need has made so much difference for my ADD/ADHD students!!

 

[tammyroo]

Yeah I understand. My son is in a private school and they were fine with it. Actually, like I said, I just talked to the guidance counselor and she trusts my judgement so it happened. It may have taken place before school actually started so that may have been why it was so easy. I never felt the need to request a change when he was in public school so can't answer to that. I would just share what you are observing in the classroom and hopefully they'll be receptive.

 

[robinb]

Oh heck ... your son sounds like an average Kindergartner! Does this teacher have experience teaching Kindergarten? It doesn't sound like she does. Also, did she separate your DS at lunch as a punishment? It doesn't sound like something a bunch of 5-year olds would do on their own.

 

[pooh4evr]

I agree you need to talk with the teacher first- ask her about the lunch stuff and some of the other stories he may be telling- get both sides- my DD#2 told lots of stories last yr in K about other kids hitting her, things they said.. - when we had out PT conf in the fall we asked the teacher about it and is laughed ad said no no no - none of that has ever happened (DD#2 ahs a tendancy to exaggerate) - so talk to the teacher- K is a hard grade to teach and who knows what she is dealing with from other kids too during the day.

 

[asktriplets]

No recommendations for for how to handle the request to move, but I'd like to offer some other suggestions and thoughts:

He's what, 5? And only 3 weeks into a new school ,new teacher, new hours, new schedule, and not a consistent routine without consistent expectations? I'M NOT SURPRISED HE IS STRUGGLING! If the teacher hasn't contacted you to talk about your ds's behavior, I'm also not surprised that you want him moved...I'd be p***ed if I found out from my child that he was penalized by having to sit alone and the teacher didn't contact me about it immediately!!


That said, I'd be very cautious about requesting a move NOW before you have more contact with the teacher..that may make things more difficult for you down the road at the school. It also doesn't give the teacher credit for the fact that EVERYONE is adjusting to this new school year,. Aside from that, it'll just be ANOTHER adjustment for your ds and it doesn't give him the opportunity to change his behavior and make good choices in the current environment (never mind the fact that there is a chance that your son might make the connection between his poor choices and you trying to "fix" it). As for your next contact with the teacher, be solicitous, offer to work as a team, ask her what YOU can be doing to help your son adjust to this new routine AND how you can be helping her in the classroom. Ask for a WRITTEN schedule of the day with the expectation that,as much as possible, she will follow the schedule and that you will work with your son on it at home, too. Offer any techniques that you know help your son with transitions and focusing. Offer to talk to the school counselor and see if s/he has suggestions for making the classroom a better environment for all.

Your son might just be struggling with the adjustment of the schedule, he might just be overtired/stressed because of the different hours and expectations, he might just have difficulty with transitions and the teacher isn't helping him by not being consistent. Your ds might be a bit immature for kindy and need more help learning to make good choices, and he might just need a bit more time for this all to sink in and for him to "get it". DO NOT let anyone label him at 5- or young 6-, with only 3 weeks of kindergarten under his belt (sounds like you're not going down that road now, anyway). My advice (as a former School Social Worker) is to try and communicate with that teacher and offer to help both her and your son as much as possible!
See how it goes for a few weeks....

Get some playdates going NOW with the other kids in the class....last year for my kids' kindy class, there was 1 boy that had a VERY difficult time following directions (for a number of reasons). He "got in trouble" often, BUT because we made sure that all of the kids in the class had a relationship with him OUTSIDE of the classroom, they were all friends and he was not ostrasized because of his classroom behavior.


good luck,

I don't know what to do. Has anyone here ever requested their child be moved to a different classroom? If so, what was their response and how did it go?

We are 3 weeks in to my son's Kindergarten year and we are having some trouble. I knew ahead of time my son would give some teacher a run for his/her money but I didn't expect the problems we are currently having. He's a good, sweet kid but can't sit still to save his life, doesn't easily take no for an answer or follow direction well, and isn't super interested in learning. He'd rather play. I expected these issues would come up, but I'm not sure the teacher we were assigned is equipped to handle them. The classroom seems very disorganized. I go end for 20 minutes twice a week to help with the end of the day procedures and every time I've been there she has them go through a different end of day procedure. She then seems irritated that he doesn't know what to do or do as he's told. I can only imagine the rest of the day goes like this.

What has me really concerned is that he told me yesterday he had to sit by himself at lunch the other kids don't like him and tell him he's bad. He's also starting to show some aggression toward the other children. He's never shown aggression before. I'm wondering if this is from his behavior toward the kids or if the kids are picking this up from the teacher. I e-mailed the teacher last night to try to discuss things with her and asked to set up a meeting this a.m. No response.

We didn't have any issues whatsoever in preschool and he always looked forward to going. He tells me he doesn't want to go to Kindergarten anymore so I'm really distraght that he first formal education year is starting out this way.

 

[WantToGoNow]

All Kindergarten classrooms seem disorganized when you only see them for a few minutes a few times a week. I teach a class on Wednesday nights that have K-2 and the last few minutes are quite disorganized there as well.

As for you son's behavior, sounds like you knew it was going to be a problem before school even started. First, if your son "can't" sit still and pay attention, then he needs to see a doctor; if he "won't" because he doesn't want to, then you need to address that yourself. The same with not taking no for an answer - children don't always get their way and normally this has been addressed well before Kindergarten. As for not wanting to learn, that's what school is about. If he don't learn it this year in K, then he'll probably be there again next year.

As for him sitting off by himself because he doesn't get along with the other children, he will need to develop those relationships himself.

 

[mjkacmom]

I've only know of 1 child who was switched in the 8 years I've had kids in the public school, and it was very difficult, with a lot of meetings with the teacher, and then principal, and medical documentation (he had ADD, and his teacher wouldn't work with him as needed). You really need a conference with the teacher before doing anything else. If you go to the principal, and tell her you haven't even discussed these issues with the teacher, she'll close the door on you.

 

[teacup princess]

I'd love to talk to the teacher, but she hasn't responded to me yet. She told me yesterday when I was in class that she needed to talk with me and wanted to set up a meeting, but then said she couldn't do it next week and she'd e-mail me. No e-mail ever came so e-mailed her last night and again this morning. I only know one side of the story from talking with my son and I'd love to get her side of the issue but she doesn't seem that available. I mean if there's an issue going on with my son I want to know about it right away, not wait a week or two until the situation escalates.

 

[okeydokey]

I know people who teach kindergarten. There is no time for them to use e-mail while the children are in their care so maybe she'll check it after school. If you really want a response right away, I would send in a hand written note with your son. The school will not move your son until they try other remedies first, the first being a one on one meeting with the teacher and then maybe with the principal.

 

[Pixieflip]

In 12 years of my kids public schools, I've never seen anyone move to another teacher, ever. And at this point in the year, that seems highly unlikely to happen as a first resort. I'm glad she is communicating a little. Give her a chance to teach today and hopefully she will be able to articulate the situation for you or at least meet sooner rather than later. Early in the year in kindergarten is a very busy and exhausting time for kindergarten teachers - I used to be one. I'm glad you are eager to hear both sides of the story, because in my experience with my own "angels" both sides may have slightly different versions!

Sounds like he needs clear instruction on what's expected and clear understand of what the consequences are when not met. Sitting still when needed is an age appropriate expectation for a five year old. Yeah we'd all rather play(heck, how often are all of us here when we should be doing something else!), but he should be able to cooperate at school when necessary, too. I all for not rushing into labeling either, but I'd keep an eye on the "can't" or "won't" factor.

I know it's stressful, keep working with her and with him. Lots of changes are going on this year and lots of time for growth.

 

[TwoGirlsandDisney]

I moved my daughter last year into another pre-k class. Her class was full of boys, there was two other girls in her class, and she wasn't clicking with them. She was lonely and wasn't enjoying going to school. I did ask to meet with her teacher, and told her my concerns, and she told me how it was going in the classroom. I told her that I was going to request she be moved. I called the school, and they gave me no trouble at all. As long as there is room in another classroom I don't think they would give you a problem. I would talk to his current teacher first, and see what is going on in the class. You never know. If she is hard to get a hold of, call the principal and schedule a meeting with him. Good luck!

 

[K and K's Mommy]

I am a former second grade teacher. If he did fine in preschool, some of his behavior could just be beginning of school, new school, new teacher, new routines, etc. Even in second grade, my end (and beginning) procedures were the same. Little ones need structure. She sounds disorganized and not following best practices.

I only saw one child ever moved in my eight years. He was moved in first grade because it was not a good fit for a VERY traditional teacher and what I would call a semi ADHD child. I got him in second, and we did fine. I was very structured, but yet we moved around a lot, and did a lot of hands-on learning.

I realize I didn't help you with your question, but after talking to the teacher, you will need to call in administration if things don't get better.

Good luck!

 

[roliepolieoliefan]

Oh heck ... your son sounds like an average Kindergartner! Does this teacher have experience teaching Kindergarten? It doesn't sound like she does. Also, did she separate your DS at lunch as a punishment? It doesn't sound like something a bunch of 5-year olds would do on their own.

Sorry but I disagree. I have a kindergartener and she certainly doesn't act like what the OP described. And if you would say he's a boy, well I have a son too and he did act as described by the OP in pre-school. I knew there would be a problem in kindergarten, so I held him back a year and let him mature. Now in the 5th grade, he is at the top of his class.

I agree with the other posters. I tried to have my son moved from his 5th grade teacher after classes were assigned and school hadn't even started yet and the principal wouldn't budge. He told me he would reevaluate later on in the year if a problem arose, but so far so good and DS is doing well.

OP, you definetly need to talk to this teacher. Stop in, call and leave her a voice mail. And sorry but if I knew my kid was acting as you describe in school there would be consequences at home too. He is misbehaving. Its not all the teacher. What is being done at home to show him the behavior he is displaying at school will not be tolerated by you?

 

[Mouse House Mama]

All Kindergarten classrooms seem disorganized when you only see them for a few minutes a few times a week. I teach a class on Wednesday nights that have K-2 and the last few minutes are quite disorganized there as well.

As for you son's behavior, sounds like you knew it was going to be a problem before school even started. First, if your son "can't" sit still and pay attention, then he needs to see a doctor; if he "won't" because he doesn't want to, then you need to address that yourself. The same with not taking no for an answer - children don't always get their way and normally this has been addressed well before Kindergarten. As for not wanting to learn, that's what school is about. If he don't learn it this year in K, then he'll probably be there again next year.

As for him sitting off by himself because he doesn't get along with the other children, he will need to develop those relationships himself.

I have to agree with this. I feel bad for your child and you as a parent but I think (from what you have posted) that a lot of this falls on what is going on at home. What are you specifically doing to correct his behavior?

I did also want to add why the other kids may not be sitting with him. At that age kids do not want to get in trouble at school. They want the teacher to like them etc. If your child is constantly not doing what he is told the other children will notice and since they don't want to get in trouble they will stay away. I do feel terribly for your child but you have to give him the tools to succeed. Good luck.

 

[daisyduck123]

Slow down.

It hasn't even been 24 hours since the teacher & you spoke and you're upset because she hasn't contacted you to discuss your DS? Give her a break. She was teaching all day. When did you expect to hear from her? Last night, after she was at home spending time with her own family?

And about the email you sent her last night, requesting a conference THIS morning.....how do you know she even saw it??? I don't check my school email in the evenings....only while I'm at school.

BTW, I teach 1st grade. I can tell you that the end of the school day in Kindergarten can seem quite disorganized to someone who shows up during the last 20 minutes of the day. Don't assume the entire day is like that.

 

[MM27]

As a teacher, I've seen kids in my school being moved to different classrooms, but only after several meetings between parents, teachers and admin. I had a student one year that moved into my classroom because the parent didn't like the grades that the child was getting in one of my colleagues class. The parent wouldn't listen to a word the teacher had to say at the last meeting, which is a big part of why my principal finally okayed the move. The child came to my room and while the transition was fine, his grades were still not what the mother wanted. Before considering the move, do you understand that even going to a new classroom may not change your child's behaviors at school? Sometimes it's the child that needs time to adjust and moving him to another room may just extend that adjustment period.

 

[Joyful3Heart]

My now 9 year old daughter was very similar in that at 5, she had a hard time sitting still, wanted to do her own thing, didn't want to stand in line, etc... She got flack from her fellow classmates, too. That ended up being a good thing--no matter how many times I explained how important it was to follow the rules, it didn't register until she suffered socially. By mid year she had greatly improved in her behavior. I modified her diet to include more "whole" foods and less refined sugars and NO chocolate (It seems like a half pint of chocolate milk is staple food at lunch time). I also made a rule that if she got a note home there would be consequences at home also. She is now in 4th grade, a straight A student with plenty of friends. Hang in there, things won't change overnight but with a concerted effort to coordinate your efforts with those of the teacher, that consistency will pay off.

Also, don't be afraid to have a meeting with the school guidance counselor. Ours helped to brainstorm creative outlets for my daughter in the classroom. If someone does suggest or make an ADD diagnosis, you are still the parent and coordinator of his care. It will actually arm you with the ability to come up with an IEP at school outlining what works for him and helping him to learn his way.

I have never encountered a teacher who didn't want my daughter to succeed every bit as much as I wanted her to, and every one of them went the extra mile to help her get there.
I wish you all the best