Have you been issued a warning?

[browneyes]

Over the last few months, I have had several people here tell me that they at one time or another were given a warning in the guise of "Let me give you some helpful advice" from a certain DIS'er. This DIS'er wanted to warn them about the "bad factors" on the dis-and were given names of these so called bad factors to avoid. Why would someone want to segregate the DIS?

If 1 or 2 people had told me this, I would think "Well, maybe something happened and this other DIS'er wanted to help." But more than 1 or 2 people have told me that, which leads me to believe this DIS'er has told a multitude of people. How hurtful can a person be?

And for those of you that heed this warning-why would you let someone else do your thinking for you?

 

[Wagamama]

Yes, I was given a warning. But, i didn't listen. I like to judge things for myself and not have my judging done for me.

 

[MaryAnnDVC]

Who says that just because someone "warns" someone else, that that person is doing anyone else's thinking for them? If someone "warns" you, does it change your thinking?? Don't you think other DISers are as smart as you to make their own decisions with information that they have??

 

[Mickey's sunshine]

You know, you could take that as a compliment. It shows this person cares about you and doesnt want you to get hurt?? I also agree with what Mary Ann said. Just listen to the warnings, thank that person maybe and do what you feel you must, listen or not listen. In the end it is your choice to make and no on else's.

 

[browneyes]

Mary Ann, I don't profess to myself being smart. If someone warns me, I look indepth as to why that person is issuing that warning. IRL and in net life. But I know that there are some that DO let others do their thinking for them for whatever reasons.

I don't know why this DIS'er seems to take it upon him/herself to warns others, why he/she can't just let people see things for themselves. I do know that if anyone has been issued a warning about me, I'd be VERY hurt.

 

[JohnTBap]

Originally posted by browneyes
This DIS'er wanted to warn them about the "bad factors" on the dis-and were given names of these so called bad factors to avoid.

Am I on the list??? Tell me!!! TELL ME!!!

I wanna be a bad factor.

 

[katerkat]

I never got a warning. I guess no one cares about me.

That being said, since I don't know what the warning said - there were some people on the DIS that shocked me at first, but after reading the reactions of others, I learned that those posters are, well, always that way. Would have been nice to get a rundown on those things before I got here! As it is, I usually miss subtle things that goes on on the boards.

 

[Silky]

Browneyes, the WORLD is full of BUSYBODIES !!!. Why should the DIS be any different?????

It's best to avoid such self-annointed "protectors". They usually have a self-serving agenda



usually? almost always

 

[MaryAnnDVC]

Originally posted by browneyes
But I know that there are some that DO let others do their thinking for them for whatever reasons

How in the world do you know that?? Who says that they are just agreeing with the person who warned them? The fact that they might agree with the "warner" does not mean the "warnee" didn't make the decision themselves. And if the "warnee" did allow the "warner" to make the decision for them, then that's the "warnee's" problem, not an issue with the "warner". JMHO

I agree with Christine...there are some people on the DIS who just naturally care about others and just don't want them to get hurt. And then there are others who are just out to do the hurting.

 

[snoopy]

Honestly, with being on vacation and then coming back to my MIL's death, all of the DIS gossip and "in-fighting" seem so amazingly trivial to me.

I'm always amazed when people think just by giving their opinion on something they expect to change your mind as well. That rarely to never happens - we all have our own mindset, and the older we get the harder that is to change.

And when you really think about it, the person who is sending "warming" PMs really needs to consider getting a life. There is a whole lot more to it then creating drama on an Internet board!

 

[Patrick IL.]

Interesting topic Shannon. I prefer to make decisions on my own, I do not need anyone telling me who is "bad", I try to deal with each person as an individual. I think whomever is issuing such warnings has some very serious issues to deal with in thier own head.

 

[browneyes]

Welcome back, Judi.

Sometimes it's hard to decipher who is the hurtful one in situations like this, Mary Ann. Let's say you start a new job. The coworker in the office next door to you says "Welcome, my name is **. Let me tell you something before you get started. If you need to talk to ** in office 12A, be careful. He's meaner than a stepped on snake." So you automatically think this person is being helpful. So you avoid ** in 12A because you don't want to be around that type of person. You're automatically biased towards that person based on the information from the helpful coworker in the office next to you. There's a good example of that that happened where I work. One of our secretaries goes around bad mouthing one of our VP's. I've never once seen him being mean to anyone, not even to her. Yet, I admit when I first started working there I was timid about talking to him because I didn't know what to expect from him based on what she said. Was she telling the truth? Was she just mad at him when she bad mouthed him to me?

 

[pumba]

I am hoping no one told you what a "PIG" I was.......actually I am hoping that you all are the sweet people that I think you all are

 

[Silky]

Someone here once warned me that there was a sexy female poster who devoured men because of a ravenous appetite. I indeed was a littttttttttttttle taken aback but then asked,

"HOW CAN I MEET HER??"

 

[MaryAnnDVC]

Originally posted by browneyes
Mary Ann. Let's say you start a new job. The coworker in the office next door to you says "Welcome, my name is **. Let me tell you something before you get started. If you need to talk to ** in office 12A, be careful. He's meaner than a stepped on snake." So you automatically think this person is being helpful. So you avoid ** in 12A because you don't want to be around that type of person. You're automatically biased towards that person based on the information from the helpful coworker in the office next to you.

Uh, no, browneyes, *I* don't automatically think any such thing. Like I said...I make my own decisions. I have been warned, here and in RL, about certain people or the existence of certain situations and there have been times, based on such warnings, that I have been more aware of what's going on and, at times, have been very grateful that I was.

 

[snoopy]

What would Mrs. Silky say about that????

Shannon, in the case you described, I think the person spreading the gossip is in the wrong. I learned a long time ago that 3rd hand information is as good as no information.

 

[browneyes]

Originally posted by Silky
Someone here once warned me that there was a sexy female poster who devoured men because of a ravenous appetite. I indeed was a littttttttttttttle taken aback but then asked,

"HOW CAN I MEET HER??"

Since I don't think I'm sexy, I take it I'm not the one you were warned about.

 

[DopeyRN]

No warning for me either....

 

[Patrick IL.]

I would suggest that whomever is passing these pm's around have the courage to go ahead and post thier "Blacklist" I am postive it will not happen, of course its easier to hide behind pm's. Its incredible to me that people actually would blindly follow someones recomendations about who should and who should not be allowed to post, participate or be accepted on Pete's boards. I also would be happy to discuss this with whomever this individual is if they would care to send me a pm with the "blacklist" .....but again its easier to hide behind pm's

 

[nativetxn]

I think that if someone really admires and respects someone and perhaps think they have a lot of wisdom, then I imagine they would take a "warning" as more of an instruction.

When I was a teenager, I remember my mother telling me I couldn't "hang out" with certain school mates. I thought she was an old fuddy duddy and made up my own mind. Turns out, she was pretty wise all along and I had to get hurt before I figured it out. As I grew older and began to realize that she truly was wise and had much more life experience than I had, I listened more if she "warned" me about someone or some situation. I took her advice more as an "instruction". Experience had taught me that she knew what she was talking about.

As an adult, I make my own decisions. I have eyes, I can read and although I may not possess a superior intellect I catch on pretty fast. No one has sent me a warning about anything/anyone in a long time.

Interesting topic, Shannon. I've had that same situation arise when starting a new job, it really isn't helpful, I remember being afraid to not take the advice. It cost me a few months of friendship once When I was in my early twenties. I became very close friends with the person I was warned about. It took about 2 months before I realized how great that person was, so I lost 2 months of friendship. I'm more mature now, though. I hope I never make that same mistake again.

YIKES! I sure hope no one has been warned about me


Katholyn