Have/would you leave your kids sleeping alone in the room and go f/swim? *SEE #159*

[Zeebs]

I don't think for a minute that it is right to leave children in a hotel room while you are by the pool. No matter how close it is. But, then again, I have taught school for a long time and believe me, I have seen it all. One of the moms I knew went across the street to borrow a vacuum. Her daughter, my 6 year old student, woke up from a nap, couldn't find her mom, and ran out of the house screaming and crying. Child Protective Services were called by a neighbor and that mother was investigated. It was a nightmare for her, but she never should have left her girl. I actually could write a book after this career I have loved...some very wonderful things have happened and some very terrible things. Being a parent is the most important job anyone will ever have. Don't ever do anything that could make your child unsafe. Go "hang out" by the pool alone at night when your children are grown.

My washing machine and Dryer are in our garage, I have to go outside and around the back of the house to access it, my children could easily wake and me not be there, but at 3 and 5 they are happy to go down stairs and wait for me to come back in. I would never get anything done if I didn't utilise the time that they were sleeping.

Kirsten

 

[Wadecool]

Well, I didn't post to get a rise out of people or purposely cause havoc, but I was curious as to the responses.
There were a lot of "cans" in the statute the PP just posted. That aside though, I am not in agreement that the children would be "without adult supervision or arrangements...so that the child is unable to care for the child's own needs..." I just don't believe this to be true in the situation given.
Someone could definitely call but I don't believe a unbiased person who happened upon the situation as I described would see us as being negligible either. There are always extremists who believe their way is the right way and will push it on others regardless and at any cost, which is sad, and very much the way CPS sometimes responds. A lot of our lifestyle choices sadly can be viewed as "taking a chance" where CPS is concerned. We homeschool, we have different medical opinions that some disagree with, my 2yo is still nursing...and sometimes I don't do my days
worth of dishes until the next morning. LOL It's super sad that those choices
could affect theactions of a CPS worker, just because they disagree with a parenting choice. I just can't think of "don't take chances" and "what if CPS".
YK? Especially when I don't feel I am in the wrong.

Anyway, I digress. FTR, I wouldn't leave my children "without adult
supervision or arrangements appropriate for the child's age or mental or
physical condition, so that the child is unable to care for the child's own needs
or another's basic needs or is unable to exercise good judgment in responding
to any kind of physical or emotional crisis."
I would be on the other side of the door with my trusty baby monitor, sitting in a pool chair less than 5ft from the door or soaking my bones on the pool
edge 10 ft away. I do not consider that unsupervised or leaving them alone.

*********************************************************

Can I go now, y'all? LOL This is getting tiring and I still feel the
same about my opinion. Not because I am digging my feet in or trying to be
argumentative, but because I don't feel it is wrong or negligible in the
circumstances I provided. This really has gone above and beyond. I hate to
ditch my own thread, but I think it's gone as far as it can go and I've answered
questions and clarified when asked. There's really not much more to say and
I don't want to run the risk of being a jerk or posting something that could
result in points. So, I am officially out of here this time.

I think you've made it abundantly clear what your view is and what you plan to
do, given the opportunity. In that case, it is definitely sad that all anyone can
do at that point (other than call CPS) is to "hope" nothing bad happens while the kids are left alone in the room. Just because you don't think something is wrong, doesn't mean it is so, and that is another purpose of CPS, to let parents know when they've crossed the line. Maybe you could talk your way out of getting in trouble, maybe not. As the PP said, technically, according to the law, in the scenario you describe you've left those kids unsupervised and
you could be at the mercy of whatever the responding officer decides. I truly do not want to see you get into trouble, but more importantly don't want to
see anything happen to those kids because they have been left alone. There's
nothing wrong with wanting time to yourself, but to leave your kids alone in the hotel room to do it, and risk explaining yourself to CPS and or police, what a risk. Not worth it to me, but it apparently is to you. It must be a really great pool.

 

[MomNeedsVacay]

I think you've made it abundantly clear what your view is and what you plan to
do, given the opportunity. In that case, it is definitely sad that all anyone can
do at that point (other than call CPS) is to "hope" nothing bad happens while the kids are left alone in the room. Just because you don't think something is wrong, doesn't mean it is so, and that is another purpose of CPS, to let parents know when they've crossed the line. Maybe you could talk your way out of getting in trouble, maybe not. As the PP said, technically, according to the law, in the scenario you describe you've left those kids unsupervised and
you could be at the mercy of whatever the responding officer decides. I truly do not want to see you get into trouble, but more importantly don't want to
see anything happen to those kids because they have been left alone. There's
nothing wrong with wanting time to yourself, but to leave your kids alone in the hotel room to do it, and risk explaining yourself to CPS and or police, what a risk. Not worth it to me, but it apparently is to you. It must be a really great pool.

CPS??? the police??? PUH LEASE. I hope you wouldn't waste any of these people's time that should be attending to REAL CRIMES. Are you an attorney?

 

[maxiesmom]

I looked at post 159, and I guess I don't get the thrill of just hanging on a pool's edge, staring at either a door or a baby monitor. And I honestly don't see anyone doing that the whole entire time they are in the pool with a spouce. What is the point?

I thought I couldn't be even more horrified by this thread, but even the idea that you thought of leaving your door proped open is just plain crazy. You would do that with 3 young kids inside? I guess I can't fathom your mindset. No way in hell would I do that!

I should just stop trying to understand you and your point of view, because clearly we don't see things the same way.

 

[shanab99]

Honestly, the OP is probably putting her kids in more danger DRIVING to the airport or Disney, if we go by statistics. Maybe we shouldn't take our kids to Disney, in case something goes wrong. How DARE we put our precious darlings in peril. Kidnappers, deadly monorails and buses, and that Mission: Space. It should be outlawed. All just bc we selfish parents wanted to go have dinner in WS and see Mickey Mouse. God forbid something should happen-- It would be intentional on our part. and we couldn't live with ourselves if something happened while they were there.

Seriously, let's stop flaming each other. I am paranoid about certain things other people are not. I NEVER keep my windows open at night bc I have an irrational fear someone will take my kids. However, if other people do this, that's fine-- it can get hot @ night . I feel safe leaving my kids in the house sleeping while hubby and I sit in the yard or swim with the monitor-- others do not. We all have something. I bet a lot of people who flamed the OP have done something that I or someone else would consider "dangerous" with their kids. Doesn't mean they are bad parents or didn't mean well. OP is not talking about something unequivocal like beating her kids. Let's use some common sense, here.

 

[BBG-BLT]

Wow - what a thread.

and I repeat WOW. When we were running around at age 5 with no supervision it was fine - it was the norm. Was that a bit too lax - maybe but the original post was asking for opinions. I have yet to meet a parent on this board that weren't doing their best.

 

[Mkrop]

I asked DH his thoughts bc he is pretty laid back...he responded, first why are they back to the room that early (I told you were never get back that early) and why wouldnt they just take the kids swimming with them AND THEN call it a night.

And my behavior as a parent is much different in a strange hotel room then it would be in my home.

 

[Bell30012]

When my daughter was four, I was faced with a very similar problem. We were staying in a VALUE resort. I wake up far earlier than she does and there is no coffee maker in the room. I tossed the thought of running over to Classic Hall for a cup, it was only one building away. I could clearly see the big POP sign mocking me.

Being that she is the most precious thing I have, I elected not to go get a badly needed cup of coffee for a couple hours until she woke up. My fear was that she would wake up and go looking for me winding up lost in the resort.

Now, I don't travel without my Keurig!

Each parent has different comfort levels with his/her children. Most years my daughter wore a Brickhouse Child Locator on her shoelaces when we traveled to WDW. Many thought I was going overboard. I would hate to think what I could have done... or what I should have done... to avoid a tragedy.

 

[Vijoge]

Honestly, after reading some of these responses, I don't know how some of you will adjust the first time your child wants to ride their bike down the street or walk to a friends house.

There was a thread about this one time (probably more than one since this is the DIS) and I was amazed at the number of people who won't allow their kids to walk to their school down the block or the bus stop on the corner. Many said their kids aren't even allowed to play outside if a parent isn't with them.

 

[Hermacdady]

Here is what would happen, 1. Kids fall asleep. 2. Parents go to change into swimming suits. 3. Youngest wakes up and sees parents in said swimsuits, proceeds to cry, demanding to go with. 4. Older kids wake up from commotion, ask "Why do you only do fun stuff after we go to bed!" demand to swim as well. 5. Parents get to watch kids swim while sitting by the pool. To me the most hypothetical situation on here is parents being able to pull off swimming without the kids knowing!

 

[Zeebs]

Here is what would happen, 1. Kids fall asleep. 2. Parents go to change into swimming suits. 3. Youngest wakes up and sees parents in said swimsuits, proceeds to cry, demanding to go with. 4. Older kids wake up from commotion, ask "Why do you only do fun stuff after we go to bed!" demand to swim as well. 5. Parents get to watch kids swim while sitting by the pool. To me the most hypothetical situation on here is parents being able to pull off swimming without the kids knowing!

 

[Bell30012]

Vijoge, what you say is true. When I was my daughter's age (8), I left at first light and didn't come home until dinner... then I was gone again until it was dark. I climbed trees, messed with snakes, explored abandoned buildings and much, much more.

The times have changed a LOT. It just isn't as safe as it used to be. I've had my daughter eight years and I am pretty attached to her. I do NOT want to be at her funeral wishing I had not left her alone. When she bicycles she has boundaries. Basically about five or six houses up the street. Several of us parents are usually outside when the kids are. We are known for blocking off our block to the cul-de-sac so the kids can play together while the parents sip an adult beverage.

All the kids wear helmets too... If I'd wore a helmet on my bike when I was kid, I might as well have painted the bike pink!

 

[imthatgirl]

Vijoge, what you say is true. When I was my daughter's age (8), I left at first light and didn't come home until dinner... then I was gone again until it was dark. I climbed trees, messed with snakes, explored abandoned buildings and much, much more.

The times have changed a LOT. It just isn't as safe as it used to be.

Actually you may want to look into some statistics. Kids are very much safer today then they were when I was 8(30 years ago).
We actually give our kids many of the same freedoms in our own neighborhood that my parents gave us. However my parents would have never left me alone in a hotel room at the age of 2. The OP can post pictures of whatever resort she wants and sya...look how close the rooms are.....but the fact is her siggy clearly says she is staying at Pop and pop has no such rooms.
Of course she should do what she wants, but to make a post asking people what they would do....then get mad when they wouldn't do it. Well it's just plain childish and lets face it, it's quite obvious at this point that she posted this whole thread for drama.

 

[DisneygirlTeacher]

no, the neighbor should never have called CPS! what kind of "neighbor" is that?

any neighborhood I have ever lived in, any one of us would have gone out and said "susie, your mom probably just stepped out for a minute.. let's wait and see.. come over to my front porch.. we'll leave a note for mom.. etc etc."

In fact every kid on the block knew that if they ever beat their mom home, or whatever the circumstances, just go over to Mrs. blacks's house, or mrs. brown's house, or johnny's mom's house, etc. etc. and any one of us would be there for the others' kids.

and if your 6 year old is napping, it is perfectly OK to run across the street to borrow something. CPS HAD to investigate, cause someone called, that's all. doesn't mean what the mom did was wrong. means there is a busy body neighbor.


OP, we had a ground floor room at pop. right by the computer pool. I honestly wasn't looking at the distance in terms of what you are thinking, but it was pretty close.

This was a case where the neighbor saw a screaming child that couldn't find her mother. She was absolutely justified in calling. If you leave your children alone and something happens, you are to blame. That is a chance many, many of us would never take. If someone calls, then you ARE investigated. You are WATCHED. Teachers are CALLED to see what the home life is like. Leaving a child alone is neglectful. The End. No justification at all. Swim alone and hang out by the pool when your children are grown. Otherwise, they should be with you. The End Again and goodbye to this sad thread.

 

[Mickey'snewestfan]

Here's the differenc between the scenarios you listed and what the OP is proposing: her scenario is intentional, the ones you list aren't, they would be considered accidents. As parents, isn't one if our primary jobs to reduce risk to our kids? Of course you can't put them in a bubble and hide them away, but why intentionally take a chance, as the OP is suggesting?

Wow, you go to Disney by ACCIDENT? How on Earth does that happen? Do you take a wrong turn on the way to the office? Enter a space time continuum.

A car accident, (which, as has been said on this thread is way more likely than what's described here) is an accident that occurs in the course of a planned activity. That's exactly what people are hypothesizing about here, that something could accidentally happen while the OP is engaged in a planned activity.

 

[Wadecool]

Wow, you go to Disney by ACCIDENT? How on Earth does that happen? Do you take a wrong turn on the way to the office? Enter a space time continuum.

A car accident, (which, as has been said on this thread is way more likely than what's described here) is an accident that occurs in the course of a planned activity. That's exactly what people are hypothesizing about here, that something could accidentally happen while the OP is engaged in a planned activity.

Of course the trip to Disney isn't an accident. And neither is INTENTIONALLY leaving your kids alone in a hotel room, not an accident. Could something accidentally happen with the kids while alone in that room? Sure could. Could it have been avoided by the parents not choosing to "intentionally" leave those kids alone in that room? Absolutely. Trips to Disney are certainly a very common activity, purposefully leaving small children alone in a hotel room is
not, thankfully.

 

[spacemountainmom]

Only on the DIS do we have one thread about a mom who is too paranoid to leave a 15 year old in her hotel room while they go to dinner and then there is this one...............


All I can really say is that I've had some good laughs this morning.

 

[Wadecool]

CPS??? the police??? PUH LEASE. I hope you wouldn't waste any of these people's time that should be attending to REAL CRIMES. Are you an attorney?

Definitely not an attorney. But, I am married to a CPS investigator who has been involved in enough similar cases (and shared details with me) to speak somewhat intelligently on the subject. I have been trying to advise the OP, to no avail unfortunately, that she really does not want CPS getting involved with this, and in the scenario she describes, it really could happen. Of course, we could debate the topic of whether CPS should even investigate situations like this, but in the meantime, it is a very real possibility.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

I have read this thread and some answers are imo completely laugh out loud with the scenarios created and some make me I would never ever in a million years do what you are proposing. Vacation is not home and home is not vacation. You might be able to see the door but unless you are staring at it the whole time never taking your eyes off it then anything can happen. As for the baby monitor, again, unless you are sitting next to it intently listening to it you will not be able to hear if something is amiss. If you are both in the pool you will not hear it. Is a swim really worth it? Really?
Take turns swimming if you just can't stay away from the water. When one of you comes back the other goes down to the pool.
Oh- and ftr- I don't go swimming at home while my kids are alone in the house.

 

[cheshireqt]

I read a lot of the resonses and I am in shock at some of the posts. I just asked my DH if we had a room where you could see the door from the pool and we had a baby moniter would you feel comfortable leaving our kids ALMOST 6 and 4 sleeping in the room while we relaxed at the pool? He said why not, what is wrong with that..... then I showed him this thread. He is cracking up at some of the posts, then I showed him the picture of where the OP had in mind and he can't believe the responses.

To the OP..... the people on this thread can call CPS (child protective services) on the both of us while our kids are in the room and we are hanging out at the pool, then they can call the police while we are are all abducted by aliens while simultaneously having heart attacks.

Go enjoy your trip, you are obviously a great parent who has their kids best interest in mind.

It is not the 6 yr old or the 8 yr old, but the 2 year old that most are responding about! Would your really have left your kids at "almost" 2 and 4?
Op your later posts have some backpedaling. Maybe it is more detail, maybe you realize how bad your first post sounded and want to amend it. Don't know why you posted in the first place, other than as you snidely put it somewhere in this mess..so you could have a laugh.
I am walking away from this thread with total disgust.