Has anyone read "Motherless Daughters"?

[luvwinnie]

Just started it and I am finding it to be the most honest book on the topic so far. Of course, I was crying on the bus reading it. Has anyone else read it?

 

[minnie56]

Who is it written by?

Sounds interesting..

 

[luvwinnie]

Hope Edelman.

her mom died on the same DATE as mine...but 23 yrs earlier

 

[minnie56]

I lost my Mum just over a year ago...is it therapeutic?

I still find it very hard..

 

[tinaluis]

A friend of mine gave me the book when my mom died. Very honest and heart-wrenching and, like you, I cried when I read it. I never completely finished reading it, though, because shortly after my mom died we sold our loft, bought a house and got pregnant with baby #1 -- and babies #2 and #3 followed quickly thereafter . Perhaps now may be a good time to take it up again. Thanks for the reminder.

 

[luvwinnie]

I haven't read enough to k now if it's therapeutic, but it does help to know others truly understand your pain and are feeling it too.

Hugs!

 

[Madi100]

What kind of book is this? A novel or more of a non-fiction?

 

[luvwinnie]

non-fictions...about the author losing her mom at 17 and interviews with many other women who lost their moms.

 

[Lanshark]

The first thread I ever posted on the CB around 3-4 years ago asked the same question. While I was reading the book I was thinking, "Wow, that's exactly how I feel/felt." I had never discussed the experience with anyone, at that time, and thought I was crazy for experiencing some of what I did. It let me know that what I had been feeling practically my whole life was not only normal but common.

My Mom had a extremely progressive case of MS. She was an invalid from my earliest memories and died when I was 14. I read the book when I was around 34 and am now 44. Some feelings never go away but that's okay.

Good luck on your journey to find Peace.

 

[poohandwendy]

My Mom had a extremely progressive case of MS. She was an invalid from my earliest memories and died when I was 14.

Wow Marcie, your situation sounds just like my mothers. Her mother also had a very progressive case of MS and died when my mom was 14. My maternal grandmother was 45 when she died. I remember my mom had trouble turning 45 for this reason. She felt very strange living past the age where her mother died. I think the saddest thing is that my mother never had a chance to experience the adult woman to woman relationship you have with your mother when you grow up and have your own family.

As to the OP, my mom read this book (was given to her by my MIL who also lost her mother young- at age 7). She described it the same way you all have, very honest and hard to read.

 

[Lanshark]

PAW

I experienced the same thing when I turned 38, the age she died. I had no idea before reading this book that most people dread turning the age their parent died.

 

[snoopy]

I also have that fear, Marcie. My mom was 51 (as was my Dad!), so I'm not there yet, but I've convinced myself if I make it past that age it will be smooth sailing.

One of the most signficant things for me after my mother died, having already lost my father several years before that, was that although I was an adult, I was an orphan. I realized that never again in this lifetime would I have someone who loved me unconditionally. Yes, I know DH and the kids love me, but its a different kind of love than parent to child, particularly mother to child. I had and still have great difficulty with that concept. Another thing that stands out is when something really good happens to me, I know there is no one left on Earth who will be as proud of me as my mother would have been. No one.

I haven't read this book. I've seen it in the bookstores, but never could bring myself to pick it up. We all grieve differently. If its helping you, luvwinnie, then its a good book. Again, I am so sorry for the recent loss of your Mom.

 

[luvwinnie]

Snoopy, you hit it right on the head with this:
"I realized that never again in this lifetime would I have someone who loved me unconditionally."

It is this thought that just breaks my heart into pieces. I still have my dad, and he is wonderful, but me and my mom had a really special bond.

 

[luvwinnie]

Snoopy, you hit it right on the head with this:
"I realized that never again in this lifetime would I have someone who loved me unconditionally."

It is this thought that just breaks my heart into pieces. I still have my dad, and he is wonderful, but me and my mom had a really special bond.

 

[kayeandjim00]

Originally posted by snoopy


I realized that never again in this lifetime would I have someone who loved me unconditionally. Yes, I know DH and the kids love me, but its a different kind of love than parent to child, particularly mother to child. I had and still have great difficulty with that concept. Another thing that stands out is when something really good happens to me, I know there is no one left on Earth who will be as proud of me as my mother would have been. No one.

Wow Snoopy your post brought tears to my eyes as you hit the nail right on the head about how I feel about the loss of my mom. There's just no one in the world like your mom and anytime I'm sick I think of how much I wish she was there just to baby you the way moms do. And when I'm having a great day or something great happens in my life I miss picking up the phone and sharing it with her. It's a profound loss that you can't even begin to find the words to describe to someone who hasn't experienced it.

To the OP I would also suggest Letters from Motherless Daughters. I liked it quite a lot it is basically just letters she received after her book and women's stories about their mothers. So sorry for your loss and am glad that the book is helping you.

 

[snoopy]

Originally posted by kayeandjim00
It's a profound loss that you can't even begin to find the words to describe to someone who hasn't experienced it.

Yes, it is very profound. The only grief that I can imagine being more profound is if a mother lost her child. The bond between mother and child is really like no other and when one part of that equation is gone life is never ever the same afterwards. It gets easier as time goes by, and we learn to rejoice in the memories, thank God, but its always there lurking, that profound loss that exists in our hearts.