I laughed out loud when I read this post. I'm not sure what your ideas are about teachers, but we honestly do not have time to rank & judge the parents' lives, nor are we interested in spying on any of you. Sorry, but we've got enough going on in our own lives, as well as with our extremely busy & stressful jobs.
What the teacher is trying to do is find out anything she can that will help her in her dealings with your child. I frequently encounter home situations that have HUGE impacts on the child's performance & behavior in class: one or both parents dead, single parent homes, child being raised by Grandma, parent(s) in jail, homeless parents, children in foster situations, children living in group homes without any sort of parent figures, etc., etc., etc.
If I know one of my kids is living in a group home, I will avoid giving assignments where they have to interview a relative, for example. If I know one of my kids is living in a rented room with her mom & siblings, and is sleeping on the floor, I can be sensitive about her not having the privacy to get her homework done on time always. I'm not in any way interested in judging these parents; everyone has things going on in their lives, and I haven't walked a mile in their shoes. But, because there are CHILDREN involved, not automatons, it is absolutely in everyone's best interests to educate the teacher as much as possible. Often, children will either be unable or unwilling to articulate their needs. The teacher then relies on your assistance to provide her with that information.
This sounds like a very caring, interested teacher, and I'm sorry she has to deal with this kind of suspicion from the parents of her kids.
Heather W