Has anyone done or experienced a destination wedding can you tell me about it?

[CampbellzSoup]

Next year I'm finally trapped...whoever I was looking into destination weddings and I just wanted to know if anyone had any experiences with it pros cons?? You are the best thank you so much

 

[pls5286]

We used a chapel in Pigeon Forge. Loved it. Everything was taken care of for us except for the license. We went up a day early to get it. Con...not everyone will make the trip due to time and money.

 

[potterfanatic]

We got married in a chapel in a Las Vegas casino (Paris) Both mine and my husband's parents were military so we had family all over the US. We thought it was only right to go to a neutral location, and one that people could make a vacation of. Pros- Neither of our parents felt left out because it wasn't in the town they were living. The chapel came as one package and they did absolutely everything for us except pick the wedding colors. Con- I was only 20 so I couldn't drink or gamble. lol

 

[Darcy03231]

I've been to a couple. One of the biggest pros or cons (depending on your perspective) will be that not everyone will go. We've been invited to 4 and attended 2. 1st was in Savannah. Groom is one of DH's best friends since grade school. Since he doesn't live near us it would have been a destination wedding no matter where he got married. 2nd one was a close friend's daughter. She was married on a cruise ship. We had plenty of notice (well over a year), we love to cruise, the ports of call included ones we hadn't been to before, and the price wasn't too outrageous. For the other 2, both were family that we aren't really close to. One was to a destination we had no interest in traveling to so we didn't want to use up our vacation time/money. The other was to a place that was really expensive, we had about 8 weeks notice, and had already taken our vacation time that year. Had we had more time to plan we may have tried to work it out, but given the short notice it was impossible for us to attend.

 

[jerseygal]

Two different friends of ours have done Destination Weddings in Jamaica and it was BEAUTIFUL! Would LOVE if older DS would consider one, but he and his (hopefully VERY soon to be finance) have a great network of college friends and definitely have said that they would never consider it! Whatever will make them happy, doesn't matter to us, but it seems like an INCREDIBLE EXPERIENCE and yes, I agree that the bride and groom if it is a "destination" wedding really needs to give about 5-6 months notice as a Save the Date. Usually are very expensive for guests to travel go, usually is much smaller and intimate which is always nice, but people need planning time.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Next year I'm finally trapped...whoever I was looking into destination weddings and I just wanted to know if anyone had any experiences with it pros cons?? You are the best thank you so much

I went to a reception where the bridal party included their destination wedding video as part of the reception "at home". I thought that was cool.

They showed the video of their wedding and then came out for the reception just like normal.

I thought that was a great compromise!!!

 

[CampbellzSoup]

Thank you so much everyone for all your great advice

 

[minnie mum]

Our DD had a WDW wedding. Her SIL had her wedding in St. Lucia. Both were beautiful, small intimate affairs, and expensive! The wedding planners for both weddings took care of everything except for the license. And the fact that these types of weddings usually involve more time and money for travelling, resulting in fewer guests, can be either a pro or a con.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Next year I'm finally trapped...whoever I was looking into destination weddings and I just wanted to know if anyone had any experiences with it pros cons?? You are the best thank you so much

My sister had one in Hawaii. It was fairly easy.

Pros: she found it easy to plan. Married where she honeymooned. Cheaper than a full wedding. They got the weather and environment they wanted compared to the options at home. Less guests (less money to spend).

Cons: people were limited in their ability to come because it wasn't cheap for them to get there. She almost had no family until we found a way I could go. She would have loved more family to attend. But again, cost. "Reception/dinner" ended up being a bust. She thought she picked out a nice place everyone liked. Even sent menus and everyone approved for their budgets. Got there and people were sharing plates to reduce costs and what not. I guess if it were me, that would be resolved by budgeting to cover anyone. But this type of arrangement was more of a vacation at the same time as us deal. So there were no expectations for them
To pay. Just made it awkward.

Overall it was otherwise enjoyable. Not what I did or would have done for my wedding. But it worked for them. The person who did their ceremony was well versed in weddings of vacation it couples and has advice for all budgets and circumstances.

 

[tlseege]

I got married in Akumal, Mexico. It was amazing and the best decision ever. I'm also extremely active on a destination wedding forum, so feel free to send me a message if you'd like to learn more about that.

I also work for an amazing travel agency who specializes in destination weddings. They are the best in the business!

I've also photographed several destination weddings.

Pros:
Beautiful. No added decor needed.
A really great vacation with family and friends.
Unique.
Less Expensive.
Less planning needed.

Cons:
Not everyone can attend. Will it break your heart if grandpa can't make it?
Not as much control over things.
Can be more expensive if you let them be!

 

[nkereina]

We are having a destination wedding in August. The hardest part for me was selecting vendors since I wasn't familiar with any of them - photographer, musician, officiant, florist, and hair & makeup artists. Some venues may provide these services for you or work with specific vendors they'd recommend. My venue did recommend some, but I still did my own research to try and find the best options for us. Now that all my vendors are selected, the hardest part is communicating with them - I'm doing it mostly through email and phone, but it's hard to work with the florist over the phone, and some of them aren't very responsive via email and I'm not close enough to pop into their studio or shop to check-in or follow up.

 

[NHdisneylover]

My sister in law got married in Hawaii.

I think for her the main pros were that she loved the area, it gives her an extra reason to go back their on vacations--they have those wedding memories there, and that it was more unique for them. I think she also sort of liked that she could invite extended family (so no one was offended) but know very few would attend.

For her the cons were that she thought most of her co workers she invited would not come, but nearly ALL did and that ran the cost up a lot and also gave the wedding more of a business feel than she wanted (so you cannot count on people not going just because of distance/cost). In her case, she lived and worked in LA and flights from there were pretty cheap at the time--family was mostly in the midwest so it was costlier for us to fly and most skipped.
It was also a con for her that one of her 3 siblings, her twin brother, did not attend. He lived in France at the time and just could not justify the cost and time to fly THAT far and not even be able to also visit friends and his wife's family on the same trip.

As a guest, the con for us is that we felt we "had" to go--and while we wanted to support her, we were young and as a family of four it was a struggle to make it possible. We also felt that if we were paying so much to get there, we should stay and see the area, so we pulled the kids from school for 2 weeks (her wedding was late September).
Another con for me was that the night before was a big dinner and kids were not invited to that (it was just my two and my two nieces). I wanted to stay home with the four kids while the siblings attended the dinner but my sister in law was very hurt that I would skip the dinner and insisted her friend's teen who would be there as well could babysit. I felt very pressured to leave my kids with some random 13 year old we had never met, in a hotel room, and that teen seemed totally overwhelmed with 4 kids in her charge, mine were miserable, etc. If the wedding had been in her hometown, or even where she lived, we would have had more choice of adults or older teens we KNEW and trusted to leave the kids with to attend the event.

 

[luvmarypoppins]

Our one friend got married in Jamaica but that was because the brides family was from there.

Another friend got married down the beach from where Tiger Woods got married. They were on a cruise and they had someone from the ship arrange everything for them. I think they had another couple who were their friends too be the witnesses

 

[Jaya]

I attended a destination wedding in Las Vegas once. It was a blast! Just about everyone who was invited came because they could make a vacation out of it. It turned into a five-day party.

 

[mnrose]

Not a big fan of being invited to destination weddings. The bride and groom are dictating my choice of vacation, and while it may be a place they love, that may not be true for me. My BIL and his soon to be wife were thinking about a destination wedding in Mexico but ran into two huge obstacles. One, it was going to be close to $1500 dollars per guest to attend the wedding, between airfare, lodging and food. My family of four was more than $6000. Eh, that's not doable for lots of folks. Second, when to schedule it? Not everyone that the "needed" to attend the wedding could get the same week off for a variety of reasons. I flat out told them that we could attend ONLY if it coincided with my kid's spring break. There is no way I would be taking my kids (older teens) out of school for this event. Other relatives didn't share that week off, and had the same requirement. Thus, they faced the choice of having a scaled down event with some people being able to attend and some not, or having it closer to where the vast majority of their family and friends live. Ultimately, they decided to hold it at their lake place on a Saturday this summer. It will be lovely, cost them a whole lot less, and cost everyone else a whole lot less. As a practical matter, it means we will be able to give them a nicer wedding present. If I spent $6K traveling, there honestly wouldn't be much left for a gift....I would consider the financial sacrifice we made to attend to be a huge part of the gift!

 

[goofy4tink]

I went to a reception where the bridal party included their destination wedding video as part of the reception "at home". I thought that was cool.

They showed the video of their wedding and then came out for the reception just like normal.

I thought that was a great compromise!!!

What a terrific idea. My dd has her heart set on a WDW wedding. But it would have to be small. Love the idea of a video of the wedding, at the reception at home!! Wonder if I can sell her on that idea!

If a bride and groom decide on a destination wedding, they have to be okay with a lot of people not being able to go. And no one should feel badly about not being able to attend.

 

[godders]

My brother's wedding was a destination for us but a home one for his now wife (we're British and she's Californian).

As others have said the cons are that not everyone you might want to be there can make it so there were 23 Brits to to 87 Americans. But it was nice because instead of it being that we just turned up for one day we had a lovely week of being a very extended family.

On the pros it can mean that you get to have a 2nd celebration closer to home for those who were unable to make it so we have wedding party no 2 coming up in October and in theory the ratio of Brits to Americans should be reversed (but we were a huge hit so quite a few want to come over and party with us again

A destination wedding would be my dream too but luckily I want a VERY small wedding so it's not a problem but it does mean you may have to compromise on other aspects of the planning

 

[Bren's Mom]

I think the biggest issue with destination weddings are brides and grooms who don't think things through and have unrealistic expectations.

I have a friend whose step-child planned a destination wedding at an adults only all-inclusive resort. During peak season, when flights were super expensive. Booked only about 6 months out. Then the bride asked for her siblings (her dad's 2 kids from 2nd marriage) to be in the wedding. Said it was very important to her. Only they couldn't stay on the property with the rest of the guests, as they were children. They'd have to stay at a different resort, travel back after the rehearsal, and again after the wedding the next day. Prices were exorbitant, and my friend and her dh couldn't afford for all 4 to go. Bride wouldn't consider any less expensive venues/locations/dates. So in the end, her dad went alone to the wedding.

To me, a destination wedding needs to be viewed as an elopement where you'd love for people to come if they can. Any expectations higher than that is unfair. You might think 'Oh, our friends can afford it.' but really you don't know anyone else's budget, and for many reasons they might not want to travel when you decide to wed or might not be able to. And you'll need to graciously accept that.

 

[mom2rtk]

To me, a destination wedding needs to be viewed as an elopement where you'd love for people to come if they can. Any expectations higher than that is unfair. You might think 'Oh, our friends can afford it.' but really you don't know anyone else's budget, and for many reasons they might not want to travel when you decide to wed or might not be able to. And you'll need to graciously accept that.

And even if you knew their budget, you don't know if that's the sort of vacation they had in mind for that year.

 

[elaine amj]

My nephew had a destination wedding a couple of years ago. I still feel a bit guilty that we chose not to attend. We could afford it, but it was a little more than we would choose to spend on a single vacation. I did give it my best shot, earning airline miles, booking a combo of offsite and onsite, but the total price was just more expensive than I liked. To top it off, he planned it knowing his siblings wouldn't be able to go (one had a new baby, the other couldn't afford it) and there was a big chance his father was not going to be able to make it. I finally decided that if that didn't bother him, an uncle & aunt not attending wouldn't be a blip on his radar. No one else from our side of the family were going. I honestly don't think he cared (we're not that close to him), but I do wish we had been there to celebrate with his mom and dad.

Every once in a while I read about a destination bride who says stuff like - "well my destination wedding showed me who REALLY cared about me and made the effort to be there" and I admit, I feel a wee bit guilty all over again. Obviously we didn't care enough to make the extra effort. (and yes, they'll say that and in the next breath say that of course they understand that the cost and distance will mean that many folks will say no). Oh well. While the guilt comes and goes, I still feel it was the right decision given all the factors at that time.

So if you do plan one, really spend some time thinking and considering how you would feel about your guests and their choices. Are you really, truly and honestly, going to be OK with people who choose not to come? And is there anyone who would be a dealbreaker?