Has anybody ACTUALLY benefited from seeing a therapist??

[jamimb]

Going through alot of issues lately and my DH really wants me to see a therapist but I don't know. Has anyone here been helped by one? Is it really worth my time and money???

 

[Luv2Scrap]

I can't answer your question for sure, but I can tell you one thing I learned - be sure that you are very comfortable with the person you choose, and if at any point the things they say no longer make sense, don't go back to them!

Much luck to you!

 

[ZachnElli]

Yes, I loved mine. Why are you resisting?

 

[ilovejack02]

I loved mine , but have had friends that didnt get much out of it.

You must feel comfortable with your therapist and you MUST BE HONEST with your therapist.

If you can't be honest and open up then there is no reason to go . Also they may ask hubby to go , all your issues may not be your own and he needs to be involved if asked to be.

 

[Binnie]

For me, it's not just comfort with my therapist, it's more than that. It has to be someone you can listen to, too.

I started with my current therapist about 18 months ago. He's great, and I feel like I understand myself better than I ever have. I understand better why I feel the ways I do, which makes it easier for me to be OK with it. For me, that's HUGE progress, and a big difference in my life.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Yes--however, I have had different therapists treat different things. Each therapist was effective with what they were treating, but it didn't fix the total picture. We finally found our root cause. I Worked on it for 18 months and it has been effective. I am taking a long break as we had a break through and I'm just digesting what we came to.

I intend to go back when DH gets reemployed.


However--there are good therapists and there are bad ones, like in most ANY profession. You may have to meet with a couple before you find a good one.

Mine have all been referal based.

You want someone who will take a complete history and even give you some testing so that they can be treating the appropriate things.

Some symptoms can be placed in multiple categories, so the correct diagnosis is VERY important for treatment to be effective.

Best of luck!

I've had 2 that I hated in my life. One was for an issue with my husband in which he was seeing a therapist and I was invited into a session. OMG that therapist was FREAKY! The other was someone going for their masters to become a therapist at the school and she was at the student center where students could go for free therapy. But she told me on visit #9 that there was a 10 session limit. I was livid b/c I didn't feel we were done and I was literally being cut off. Session 10 was a total waste.

All my others have been wonderful. (Sounds bad that I've seen several--but they have alll been at different stages in my life as I addressed certain issues.)

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Yes, I loved mine. Why are you resisting?

Some people dont' know why. I was practically kicking and screaming when a friend brought me to counseling for the first time in college. Not literally--but when they asked why I was there, my response was "they made me do it". I had to be willing to be there before they would see me.

 

[Rora]

Personal Info to follow-- if you don't want to know, don't scroll down!!





I went to a therapist a year ago as a victim of Date Rape (college) and to deal with my anxiety. It was seriously one of the best decisions I've ever made. OP- I don't know your situation but if you're facing anything remotely related to mine, it's so worth going. She taught me so many strategies to control my anxiety and together we face the date rape issue. I think I'd be a different person without her.

Good luck!

 

[shellybaxter]

My life has completely turned around. I credit my work in therapy with helping me make sucessful choices in my life. I was burned out, depressed, comtemplating a divorce and yearning for "more" in my life but fearful that I would not succeed. That was about 10 years ago. I now have a great relationship with my husband (and most of the rest of the people in my life) a great job with increased responsibility and am about to receive my Masters Degree. Mental health care is just as important as physical health care in my mind

 

[FireDancer]

I've never been to one but have a friend who is a psychologist. Her take is that if you go in with a willing, open mind you have a chance. If you go to make someone else happy or just to have what you already think reinforced save your time.

 

[Desnik]

Absolutely it has helped me so much in my life with my childhood problems and helped so much with my relationship with my husband. I have known many people who have benefited from it as well. I also know a few who it didn't help. I really strongly feel that it doesn't help the people who are dragged there and are not really ready for it. It will not help you unless you are willing to admit your issues and speak openly and honestly.(especially with marital issues you have to be ready to take responsibility for your actions and your part in your marital problems) You have to feel comfortable with who you are talking with too.

You ask if it is really worth your time and money. If your DH is asking you to go obviously he has issues with you and your marriage. Isn't your marriage worth your time and money?

 

[C.Ann]

Not until I was able to locate one who specializes in cognitive behavioral therapy.. It's "goal" oriented - not just going back week after week repeating the same things over and over, with no direction in terms of how to actually "deal" with issues and/or people who are toxic to your general well being.. (I refer to traditional "talk" therapy as "wash, rinse, repeat" - a complete waste of time and money..)

CBT is not easy - there is a lot of change involved - but the good thing about it is that you will see results in a relatively short period of time if you follow through and do all that needs to be done.. (It does require reading, worksheets, face-to-face meetings, etc..)

One word of caution though.. If you successfully complete the program, there will be people in your life who will not be happy with the results - basically because you will no longer be anyones door mat - nor will you be afraid to express your own opinions and stick with them - regardless of what others "think" you should think..

Good luck with whatever you decide..

 

[Imzadi]

I certainly hope people have been helped by them as that is what I do.

I counsel women who were in domestic violence & abuse situations. I also staff some of Tony Robbins' live seminars. (He's the famous personal power/empowerment coach & author.)

What everyone said above is right. You need to interview with different people. They all have different techniques and use different methods. There isn't one kind of counseling/therapy/coaching. They have different skills, training and specialties. They also have different personalities and you have to find one that you click with.

You also have to know why you are going, have a set goal you are working towards. There are some types of therapies where you can literally sit there for years and not accomplish anything except the therapist rakes in big bucks every week and the client gets to say (s)he's in therapy.

Those don't work too well in many cases, in my opinion, as most people may not need that kind of therapy, but need coaching instead. Coaching/counseling shouldn't be passive.

Yet, there are some situations and intense traumas, where people do need time, lots of time and a specialist in that field who can work with that person at an appropriate pace. (Again, it shouldn't be passive.) For them, a coach would be totally inappropriate. Again, you have to know why you are going and what you hope to get out of it.

If you want to see examples of good therapists, watch Good Will Hunting and The Prince of Tides. Although, leave out the relationship part of Prince of Tides. But, in actuality and accuracy, Streisand wasn't Nick Nolte's therapist, she was his sister's, in the film.

If you want an example of empowerment coaching, do a search on Youtube for Tony Robbins. Watch one of the videos where he is actually doing an intervention with an audience member. There are a few on Youtube.

Actually, I was sent this link a while ago. It is a FREE 80 minute video online with Tony Robbins and
and Cloe Madanes conducting a no holds barred live intervention, and NLP deconstruction of the tools used to transform one of his guests at an actual intervention at one of his events.

You can view it (it will be removed in about a week):

http://www.robbinsmadanestraining.com/special
You have to enter an email (any email will do, use a spam email,) and you will be given the link to watch the whole 80 minutes online. People pay over $1000 to go to one of Tony's seminars and get their lives changed. Some people, like Princess Diana, Serena Williams, Andre Agassi, Christian Slater, pay thousands for a private coaching session.

If you want to go to one of Tony's events, I can get you a staff discount. It is not a referral, it is a staff discount. It's about 25% - 50% off, depending on the event and what the special price is currently. PM me if you are interested.


If you are going to therapy just because your spouse wants you to go, that's not going to work very well. You can do weekly seesions of "shopping" therapy & spend the same amount of bucks and actually have something to show for your time, and you will probably enjoy it better.

Go because YOU want something to change in your life or about yourself. Find a therapist who has a set plan that you agree with, knows how to listen, one you feel comfortable talking to, where you feel safe and not judged, and one where you feel good, empowered, or in the very least, something is happening in the sessions. Some times being stirred up and angry, thoughtful and uncomfortable, , or have had your world rocked upside down after a session is very good.

As Dr. Phil has said, "We all have strategies that have got us to where we are now. How has it been working for you?" You go to therapists to get changes. (And they had better know what they are doing. there are a lot of quacks out there, too. Gives the rest of us a bad name. )

If you just want to sit for an hour to feel listened to every week and feel you are totally right the way you are presently, get a dog.

Most of all, trust your instincts/intuition. don't be cowed by the fancy titles/certifications/licenses someone has. If you feel they aren't right for you, they probably aren't.

The great thing about therapy (a good therapy) is it's never too late to get good counseling. If now is not the right time, when you finally hit bottom, you will know it. The question is: How much of your life and opportunites are you willing to waste in the meantime? What is it costing you by not going? How is this affecting/damaging your relationships by not getting help NOW? How can your life, your relationships, your career, your emotions, the quality of your life be changed by getting therapy/couseling/coaching? Are you and your family worth it?

 

[MushyMushy]

I agree with C.Ann about cognitive behavioral therapy. I've gone to counselors before and it was always just talk therapy. Talk, talk, talk and never really go anywhere. I do just as well keeping a journal, honestly! But with the CBT, our sessions were more directed. I'm the type of personality who really resists being directed, so I was kind of difficult to work with. My therapist and I clicked really well, so she was patient with me. I spent about a year with her. I went from almost becoming a recluse and losing all my self esteem to getting myself out and I'm now working 2 jobs, plus I go out almost every weekend with friends! What a turnaround.

 

[jamimb]

Absolutely it has helped me so much in my life with my childhood problems and helped so much with my relationship with my husband. I have known many people who have benefited from it as well. I also know a few who it didn't help. I really strongly feel that it doesn't help the people who are dragged there and are not really ready for it. It will not help you unless you are willing to admit your issues and speak openly and honestly.(especially with marital issues you have to be ready to take responsibility for your actions and your part in your marital problems) You have to feel comfortable with who you are talking with too.

You ask if it is really worth your time and money. If your DH is asking you to go obviously he has issues with you and your marriage. Isn't your marriage worth your time and money?

My "issues" have nothing to do with our marriage at all. Actually it's better than it's ever been I think he is just so concerned for my well-being. I am open to it I just have never known anyone to see a therapist and was just curious about it.

Out of the blue I have started to have some serious panic attacks which led to insomnia which in turn led to some depression and very weird mood swings. Not sure what's going on but he is begging me to see a therapist and Im not quite sure why Im dragging my feet. I just keep thinking I can handle it on my own when in reality it's getting worse. I did see a Dr. last week to prescribe something to help me sleep.

 

[Desnik]

Sorry if you took offense to my post. The way you worded your post I assumed you meant he wanted you to go to talk to someone because of marital problems. Sorry I misunderstood.

When I spoke of "issues" I was speaking in general about people who go to therapy(people usually go because of a particular "issue") being open about stuff going on in their lives.

Personally I have suffered from depression, and panic attacks. My depression stemmed from my childhood issues. The panic attacks were after a really bad car accident. I also suffered from insomnia after the accident. Therapy really helped me then. I think it can help you too. I know if is very hard to sometimes just get yourself to go. I really wish you luck because I know it is no fun to be going through what you are going through.

 

[JoiseyMom]

If you find the right therapist...then yes! I had one and she was great! I hated it when she moved out of state.

 

[jamimb]

Sorry if you took offense to my post. The way you worded your post I assumed you meant he wanted you to go to talk to someone because of marital problems. Sorry I misunderstood.

When I spoke of "issues" I was speaking in general about people who go to therapy(people usually go because of a particular "issue") being open about stuff going on in their lives.

Personally I have suffered from depression, and panic attacks. My depression stemmed from my childhood issues. The panic attacks were after a really bad car accident. I also suffered from insomnia after the accident. Therapy really helped me then. I think it can help you too. I know if is very hard to sometimes just get yourself to go. I really wish you luck because I know it is no fun to be going through what you are going through.

Thanks so much for your kind words. they do mean alot!! It just seems very hopeless right now. It's nice to know others of overcome similar things!

My DH seems to think my problems might stem from my childhood as well. When I was 15 my mom and 6 yr old sis were killed in a car accident and my dad all but abandoned me and my 13 yr old sis to take care of ourselves. That was 18 yrs ago and I have always thought I handled it so well but 6 months ago my DH was in the hospital with bleeding ulcers in his colon and they originally told us it was colon cancer (turned out to be crohn's disease) anyway after that it was kinda a downward spiral form there to now I am having some major issues to say the least and he is scared to leave me for long periods of time by myself. He seems to think maybe me thinking he might die burst some kind of weird fragile bubble I have been living in for 18 yrs but what does he know right.

Anyway I have just shared alot of my story here for total stangers to read so I don't think I will have trouble sharing with a therapist. I have never been a very private person.

 

[shortbun]

Absolutely LOVE my therapist!!! I'm a mom because of her. She's a loving, caring and straight shooting human being who doesn't let me get away with any carp. She keeps me honest and I sooo dig her. I was referred by a good friend who really adored her too-she helped them work through some pretty heady marriage issues successfully. Whatever I need, she's got it. If you don't have a good relationship with your therapist- at least complete trust, stop going and get another therapist.

 

[Desnik]

Thanks so much for your kind words. they do mean alot!! It just seems very hopeless right now. It's nice to know others of overcome similar things!

My DH seems to think my problems might stem from my childhood as well. When I was 15 my mom and 6 yr old sis were killed in a car accident and my dad all but abandoned me and my 13 yr old sis to take care of ourselves. That was 18 yrs ago and I have always thought I handled it so well but 6 months ago my DH was in the hospital with bleeding ulcers in his colon and they originally told us it was colon cancer (turned out to be crohn's disease) anyway after that it was kinda a downward spiral form there to now I am having some major issues to say the least and he is scared to leave me for long periods of time by myself. He seems to think maybe me thinking he might die burst some kind of weird fragile bubble I have been living in for 18 yrs but what does he know right.

Anyway I have just shared alot of my story here for total stangers to read so I don't think I will have trouble sharing with a therapist. I have never been a very private person.

I think your DH may be right. Sometimes something will happen and it will just trigger something in your mind that you thought was not an issue for you anymore. I am so sorry you had to go through that horrible tragedy! I cannot even imagine how horrific that must have been especially as a teenager!

I hope your DH is doing OK now? I really think you should just give therapy a try. Just try it once and see how it goes. I know it's easier said than done but you obviously have a great DH there to help support you. When I was going through the depression after the accident I really saw no light at the end of the tunnel. I thought I would have panic attacks forever. I know exactly what you mean about feeling hopeless. But with therapy, and time I came out of it. I promise you can to! Good luck to you and I really wish you the best.