But that has nothing to do with Calvin and I at the airport.
Dahhhhling.
Heh heh.
Alrighty...I got Calvin his food and we headed up to our gate. I checked the board. Yep... Flight 5#@ to Orlando 6:06 p.m. The waiting area was pretty crowded with people. I found Calvin a spot on the windowsill to sit and I got out his food and organized it. Opened his soda, put dressing on his salad. Got him a napkin. And a fork. Also I opened his chips and leaned them gently against his leg.
Why?
Because we didn't have another spare set of clothing in our carryon bag. And when we went in May with the whole family, Calvin ALSO had a salad at the airport. While waiting to board the plane. Somehow... he managed to open his little package of Italian dressing... but not enough. So instead of tearing it a little more he bunched it up in his fist and squeezed with all his might hoping the pressure was enough to force it out and onto his salad. Unfortunately, the force applied was enough to split the atom. And his package of dressing blew up and it also blew down. And it blew around.
And all over. Both him and his clothing, hair and... yes... salad.
Thankfully the Paul Newman's Own Family Recipe Fallout was confined to just our family's. Stuff.
That's why. I fixed his food all up for him. And opened his chips too. I figured there was a definite element of danger in him opening that. Never mind a carbonated beverage.
Then I asked him to stay right there. Stay there! Right there. Please don't move at all. From this EXACT spot. Exactly. And eat.
I told him that I was going to buy a magazine for myself for the plane. Because he'd be doing his homework and I didn't want to be tempted by the SkyMall mag into spending $200 for a dog treadmill. For our cat. As we already have a cat tent for The Noodles which he doesn't use. But which matches our family room decor and looks kinda cute. Thankfully.
Also Tommy has a friend who is quite small and she can fit into it. Except for her head.
I have a couple of photos of that. BTW.
It took me less than 10 minutes to find a magazine, wait in line and pay for it. That's when I rejoined Calvin who was finishing his snack and sat down and started chatting with the lady beside me.
She was very friendly and had been to Toronto visiting relatives. She was from Florida, her family owns a company which makes Key Lime Pies and she had to buy socks up here during her visit because she doesn't own any. And she wears flipflops all year round. In Florida.
She was friendly and only stopped talking to make a quick phone call to someone to tell them that since the Atlanta airport was closed... they shouldn't wait for her flight but head home instead.
Huh?
I didn't realize we had a stopover? In Atlanta? I thought this was a direct flight??!!!!
When she got off the phone I asked her, "Isn't this a direct flight to Orlando?".
No. She said. OHHHHHH. She said. They switched the Orlando flight to another gate because the Atlanta airport is closed and that flight is delayed.
That's when Calvin piped up, "Oh, yeah. Mom... they announced that we were supposed to go to another gate when you were gone."
"Thank. You. Calvin."
I told him to grab his stuff and move it. MOVE IT MOVEITMOVEITMOVEIT. Mister.
We ran like slightly panic'd travellers who didn't want to miss their flight. To the new gate.
We didn't miss our flight. And... in fact... we scored two seats side by side in the waiting area. We didn't have long to wait before they started loading the plane by zones. We were in zones 5 and 6. Even though our seats were side by side. Which I thought weird. Anyhow... we still managed to get to know ANOTHER lady who was waiting to go to Orlando too.
She was really friendly and had an expensive purse and really really really high-heeled shoes. She had been in Niagara-on-the-Lake on business and hadn't slept the night before. Well actually she had, but only for about two hours. She was missing her four year old daughter who we were shown a picture of. At Chef Mickey's... all dressed up. With her dad and step-sister. And missed her husband of five years who she married in WDW and they were going to stay at the hotel in Celebration for their anniversary in a couple of weeks.
*Whew*
Calvin jumped right into the conversation by saying, "I have an older sister. She's an Emo.".
Then I said, "An EMO?! Whattheheck? If Beth is an Emo... then I'm The Crocodile Hunter May He Rest In Peace."
Barry White said, "My Mom's The Crocodile Hunter." After which I laughed out loud. Real loud.
Then he said, "Well she reads those Twilight books."
And then I said, "But she has a cute peppy blond ponytail, only has one pair of black pants which she rarely wears and is usually smiling. Happy. And well adjusted."
Then he said, "I think she wants to be a vampire."
At that point we stood up and walked towards the crowd of people impatiently waiting to board the plane. Continuing to mildly bicker.
I said "Bye" to our new friend-lady. Who was also sitting in Business Class. Which I forgot to tell y'all earlier.
They started to board the first zone... Business Class. "Hi! Enjoy your spacious leg room, fabulous wide seat and free alcoholic beverages!!!! Enjoy it for all us Happyhaunts out here. Who will never ever ever fly Business Class. Unless we get really really fat. And have to." They called more zones. Then. They called Zone 5. And we boarded together. Sat down and got organized.
Before we knew it we were in the air. And I was relatively relaxed. I'm not a big fan of flying but I'm getting more and more used to it. I'm fine as long as I don't have to undo my seatbelt and get up. And STAND in the plane. Or walk.
Luckily... our flight was full of rough moments of turbulence. And so we were encouraged... nay ORDERED... to leave our seatbelts on.
I was happy about this.
And also scared.
And then the worst possible thing happened. Which made me regret the couple of coffees I'd drank during my running around earlier in the day.
I had to go to the freakin' bathroom. No question about it. I had to go badly. And without delay.
I got up, undid my belt. Told Calvin that I WOULD be back. I hoped. And went off to do something which I have only done once or twice in my whole life. (Like following rules! Heh heh heh.)
Use the freakin' bathroom on the plane.
I'll spare you most of the details. Of this. Adventureish.
But I will say there was turbulence. There's not a lot of room in there. It has a peculiar odour. I bumped into stuff. And other stuff. I was bounced around. It took me awhile. And it was hard to relax. Ok. It was impossible.
And if I had to put the whole experience to music I say...
Cue
Welcome to The Jungle
Welcome to the jungle
We got fun and games...
In the jungle
Welcome to the jungle
Watch it bring you to your knees shun-n-nn-nn-n in the jungle...
Blah blah blah
I eventually made it out of the plane bathroom jungle.
But, like Captain Willard in Apocalypse Now, not at all the same man that went in.
Heh heh.
Cheers, Melly.
