First, if you are using a low quality shampoo, or one that is not correct for your hair, this could be what is making the problem so bad.
Second, are you using conditioner at all?
I have thick course hair, and have been using the Redken All Soft.
I have been really happy with it!
(however, the last bottle of shampoo I bought does not seem to be as good... did I get a bad batch??? Have they changed the formula or gone 'cheaper'???)
I have also used the Biolage detangling solution.
This is used as a third step, after conditioning.
I do think that, as one poster mentioned, products like these can begin to backfire, because, maybe if you get to much of a layer of silicone on your hair, then use a hair-dryer, this can seem like dry or brittle.