H.S. Graduation parties :(

[Kteacher]

My MIL is driving me nuts! My oldest is graduating H.S. in 2 weeks ( ) . The school always has a chaperoned overnight party for the grads on the football field of a local college. My MIL is mad at me beacause I'm not having a huge party for my son. She wants me to invite , not my son's aunts and uncles, but my DH's aunts and uncles, most of whom my son has either never met, or barely knows. As far as I'm concerned, this is akin to asking people for gifts. In addition , my son doesn't want a big party- we're planning a cook out with some neighbors whose daughter is also graduating ( we would invite MIL and FIL to this ). My MIL is acting like I'm the worst person in the world for not throwing a huge party You'd think after 21 + years I'd become immune to her comments. Sorry, just had to vent

 

[Cindy B]

Tell your MIL that you will have a big party when he graduates college. That gets you off the hook temporarily!

Honestly, my parents wanted a big hoopla for what would seem to be small celebrations. (8th grade graduation/high school graduation). I then realized, that this is what they know. My sister and I are the first generation to go to college, so high school was the only "life change" event that my parents/grandparents were truly familiar with.

 

[powellrj]

My DM is the sameway. When my oldest graduated she wanted us to have a HUGE party with drinking. I wanted an open house at our church. She wanted to have an extended family open house (with drinking), I just wanted it low key. DS got in trouble before graduation and had to take summer school so I didn't have ANY party for him and I still hear about that one.

She did get her way with the going away party when he left for the army. I didn't want any drinking when there were going to be kids there, but DM brought beer and wine. While my DS's friends didn't drink, my cousins were giving their underage kids beer and wine coolers. Thats WHY I didn't want to have drinking at the party.

 

[CEDmom]

I'd tell to mind her own business but I guess that's not possible .. The more diplomatic approach would be to tell her your DS doesn't want to big party and that for this occasion you're respecting his wishes. End of story. Good luck

BTW, congratulations to your DS.

 

[MELSMICE]

Been there, done that with my MIL - it was DD's christening for us. You just have to stand firm & say you are NOT having a big party because your son doesn't even want one.

She'll be "ticked" for a while (as mine was) but she'll get over it. Plus, it will "set the stage" for any additional celebrations that may arise.

 

[luvflorida]

my son doesn't want a big party

That should be reason enough for her to stop harping on it. She doesn't want to make her grandson unhappy does she? Geez!

Our son didn't want a big party when he graduated from high school, and we respected his wishes. Our oldest daughtrer, on the other hand, wanted a big party with friends, family, and relatives from away, so that's what we did. To each his own!

 

[antmaril]

My son is graduating in two weeks and we are not having a big party - he doesnt' really want one and I'm not comfortable giving a big party at our house. We are taking a group of about 20 to lunch at a nice restaurant the Saturday after graduation. It will be a nice way to acknowledge his graduation and still keep it simple. All his dad and I have to do is pick up the check

I think you do should do what is comfortable for you and your son.