H.S. Coach refuses to let his team shake hands.

[TimeforMe]

Yesterday DS17 played in a varsity soccer game against another local high school team. All during the game, the coach of the other team kept making disparaging remarks to the refs, our coach and our team. Our team was winning 2-0 for pretty much the entire game. With 35 seconds left to go, one of our players fouls one of loud mouth's player's (gets the foul called) and the opposing coach totally flips out, SCREAMING at our coach to shut the blank up, yelling at our kids and the referee. He proceeds to pull his team from the field and refuses to let them finish the game even though there is only 35 seconds left! He further refuses to let his team shake our kids' hands and leaves the game. I cannot tell you how upset this made me. It totally put a damper on what should have been a great moment for our kids. My son is a senior and this was his last soccer game EVER. This jerk had to rain on our parade because of his bad sportsmanship. He was wrong on sooo many levels that it breaks my heart to see him coaching impressionable kids. I am writing a letter to the AD at the other school. Our coaches have also filed whatever necessary paperwork there is against them.

Have you ever heard of this before?

 

[OceanAnnie]

I got the whole thing wrong! Sorry about that. You are right! I'm going to bed in about 2 minutes.

 

[LadyyRedd]

It sounds like a volatile game. The coach while I'm not too sure what he did was "right", I think he may have done what he did for the right reasons. The foul language by the opposing team's coach, yelling and cursing (the F-bomb) at your DS's team and coach. Not a good situation.

While sportsmanship is a very good thing, it's a two way street. The opposing team's coach was way out of line. Totally unacceptable and I think the coach standing up to that is admirable. I wonder if the opposing team was in alignment with their coach's attitude. Your DS's coach may have been doing the team a favor by keeping the team away. Maybe it could've gotten physical.

Ofcourse I don't know. What you describe is just a snapshot.

The way I read it was that the OTHER coach made the foul language and then the OTHER coach pulled his team off the field, refusing to shake hands. Their coach didn't do any of it.

Kimya

 

[PrincessPAC]

That is so sad that adults will act like that - especially in front of children. One time, my son's all-star basketball team beat a team for a tournament championship in like the last 5 seconds of the game. The other coach went nuts, saying that time had ran out and whatever else he could come up with. DH was DS's coach & went over to shake the other coach's hand and he told DH to f*** off (in front of 7 & 8 year old kids )! Then he told his team that if they shook any of our players' hands, he would bench them for their next game. Then he told his players not to get their 2nd place trophies - that they didn't earn them, that they deserved the 1st place trophies. The parents let their kids get their trophies, thank goodness. It was sad. The sponsers of the next tournament "uninvited" this team to play in their tournament b/c of the coach's behavior.

People like these coaches have no business coaching. Now taking anger management classes...

 

[TimeforMe]

Oops, maybe I didn't explain clearly. The other team's coach was the one yelling, cursing, etc. and ALSO the one that pulled his players off the field and wouldn't let them shake our kids' hand. Sorry for the confusion.

 

[OceanAnnie]

The way I read it was that the OTHER coach made the foul language and then the OTHER coach pulled his team off the field, refusing to shake hands. Their coach didn't do any of it.

Kimya

Yeah. We posted at the same time. I realized that after I made my mistake. Thanks.

 

[DawnCt1]

Yesterday DS17 played in a varsity soccer game against another local high school team. All during the game, the coach of the other team kept making disparaging remarks to the refs, our coach and our team. Our team was winning 2-0 for pretty much the entire game. With 35 seconds left to go, one of our players fouls one of loud mouth's player's (gets the foul called) and the opposing coach totally flips out, SCREAMING at our coach to shut the blank up, yelling at our kids and the referee. He proceeds to pull his team from the field and refuses to let them finish the game even though there is only 35 seconds left! He further refuses to let his team shake our kids' hands and leaves the game. I cannot tell you how upset this made me. It totally put a damper on what should have been a great moment for our kids. My son is a senior and this was his last soccer game EVER. This jerk had to rain on our parade because of his bad sportsmanship. He was wrong on sooo many levels that it breaks my heart to see him coaching impressionable kids. I am writing a letter to the AD at the other school. Our coaches have also filed whatever necessary paperwork there is against them.

Have you ever heard of this before?

I haven't seen THAT at football games! I thought us "yankees" were a bit more civilized than that! Well, I guess I shouldn't say that. There is one team that played our "kids" and the coach wanted his players to "cripple" our kids so they would be out for the season.....but he at least allowed them all to shake hands!

 

[OceanAnnie]

Oops, maybe I didn't explain clearly. The other team's coach was the one yelling, cursing, etc. and ALSO the one that pulled his players off the field and wouldn't let them shake our kids' hand. Sorry for the confusion.

No, it was all me. My mistake. Sorry to derail your thread. You are right to be upset. I'd do exactly what you are doing. I hope he gets many complaints and there is a strong consequence for his actions!

 

[GRUMPY PIRATE]

I thought that the reason they always cite for kids to play sports is to develop sportsmanship, team play, health, etc. What is going wrong? It seems like a lot of the "win at any cost" attitude is seeping into the game from the "professional" players that like to trash their "enemy" rather than play aginst an "opposing" team. This in NOT what I witnessed when my kids played various sports, and I sure hope I NEVER see a coach from ANY team doing that when my grandkids are on the field (or even watching!) What the Heck? Barred for life needs to be that remedy!

 

[CEDmom]

That really stinks. I hope your coach brings this up to the appropriate organization so this coach doesn't pull that again. However, don't allow it to diminish your DS's accomplishments or your celebration of them. That other coach is a bully - don't let the bully win.

 

[TimeforMe]

I thought that the reason they always cite for kids to play sports is to develop sportsmanship, team play, health, etc. What is going wrong? It seems like a lot of the "win at any cost" attitude is seeping into the game from the "professional" players that like to trash their "enemy" rather than play aginst an "opposing" team. This in NOT what I witnessed when my kids played various sports, and I sure hope I NEVER see a coach from ANY team doing that when my grandkids are on the field (or even watching!) What the Heck? Barred for life needs to be that remedy!

You are so right on all counts. It is truly disheartening to see how some coaches behave. Another coach earlier in the week was just as bad except he didn't pull his kids out of the game--because they were winning. His team was undefeated and our team gave them a run for their $. It would have just been too much for his ego if we beat them. I honestly and truly don't get it. It's HIGH SCHOOL for God's sake. Lighten up....be a good role model.

 

[JCJRSmith]

As a coach, win or lose, my boys are EXPECTED to shake the other teams hand and congratulate them/thank them for the game. My boys know that if they play dirty, use foul language, use racial remarks or don't show good sportsmanship, there will be consequences to be paid. It makes me sick to see another coach act the way the coach described in teh OP acts. If I was the ref, at that point the coach would have gotten a red card and I would've made sure the league knew about it. League offices take that stuff seriously, and that coach would not be on the sidelines for the next game, even if that next game was the first game of next season.

There is no excuse for poor sportsmanship, win or lose.

 

[TimeforMe]

I haven't seen THAT at football games! I thought us "yankees" were a bit more civilized than that! Well, I guess I shouldn't say that. There is one team that played our "kids" and the coach wanted his players to "cripple" our kids so they would be out for the season.....but he at least allowed them all to shake hands!

I actually think it might be worse around here (at least in Fairfield County) where kids' accomplishments are like status symbols to their parents.

 

[honugirl]

I can say from a ref's point of view, sometimes if a coach is that bad, his team may be too and I wouldn't want a hand shake to take place. I have refereed games where I have not allowed a handshake because of potential issues. Sometimes it's just better that the offending party leave the field because it does not leave anything to chance. Don't let it ruin your son's season. You say he's a senior, he should have plenty of experiences to look back on fondly. He may even have some from that game.

 

[Karel]

Happened at one of my son's basketball games. Other coach was upset by fouls and pulled his team off the court. Just terrible, terrible behavior.

 

[manning]

I have a relative who plays on the varsity football team. He is the star runner.

He and the center are the top players on the team.

When they played a team known for playing shall we say rough the word was out to protect them. Sure enough within two plays both were out with injuries and lost the game.

His coach would not allow the team to retaliate.

They made it to the playoffs and have a chance to play this team again... and it will be a clean game on their part!!!!

There were several movie cameras documenting the whole thing and am sure the authorities will be made aware of the situation. I am sure the referees will be put on notice to pay close attention to that team.

 

[m&m's mom]

Isn't it just insane how seriously some people take a GAME?
My parents next door neighbor is a jerk. He was hateful from the day they moved in. Well his son played my nephews team and he was the coach. He lost miserably as DN's team is extremely good. He cusses at the kids, screams at them etc. We asked why he was not kicked out but they said he only acts this way when those 2 team plays. It kills him that he loses every team. Just plain silly.

 

[paras4ri]

Just wanted to add our own experiences with so-called adults and their childish behavior. A family in our neighborhood doesn't like our son. When their son's baseball team plays our son's team the son...and his dear dad who is a coach.....both leave the dugout at the end of the game to avoid the traditional high-five between teams. They snub the entire team. They've been doing this since the boys were 10 and now they're both 16!

 

[Anewman]

A few years ago I was at a high school football game where one team(lets call them GREEN) refused to shake hands...

Turned out that during the week one of the coaches from team RED was "jogging" at Green teams field with his girlfriend(kinda undercover), he would walk a lap and rest in the bleachers for half an hour watching Green teams practice. During the game the coach was reconized on the sideline and kaos insued.

Green team won anyways but walked off the field without shaking hands, Red teams coaches were all replaced during the off season.

 

[DisMN]

Sad to see a coach act like such a clod. There is honor in taking the loss like a gentleman......he's really doing a disservice to those kids showing them that they have to act like big babies if they're on the losing team.