Guy rules...

[Charade]

1) Never redo a high five. If you mess it up, let it go.

2)The "shotgun" rule is always in effect.

3)Only call your girlfriend once a day. Once only!

4)Men should never, in any way, feed each other.

5)Never DIS Chuck Norris.

 

[GeorgeG]

6) Never, ever make eye contact in the men's room.

7) Never drink anything that comes with one of those little umbrellas in it.

8) Never look comfortable holding your wife's/girlfriends purse while she is in the fitting room.

9) Honesty is always the best policy.

10) Never, under any cirmcumstances, be honest when asked "do I look fat in this?"

 

[Jeafl]

So far, so good.

 

[gobnu1]

6) Never, ever make eye contact in the men's room.

6a always follow the alternate urinal/stall rule.

 

[Hercules10]

5)Never DIS Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris facts:

*When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

*Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

*There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.

*Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.

*Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

*Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

*Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

*Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

*There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.

*When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.

*Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.

*Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.

*There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.

*Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.

*Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.

*Chuck Norris gave Mona Lisa that smile.

*Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

*Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost

*Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a DeltaForce marathon on Satellite TV.

*Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.

*Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.

*Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.

*Chuck Norris doesn't bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint.

*James Cameron wanted Chuck Norris to play the Terminator. However, upon reflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.

*Chuck Norris played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.

 

[mickeyfan2]

2)The "shotgun" rule is always in effect.

What is the shotgun rule?

 

[ericamanda01]

10.1 Never ask the question "Does this make me look fat?"

 

[eddad]

Never admit that you know what "Burnt Umber" or a "Swathe" is.

 

[PrincessTiff]

3)Only call your girlfriend once a day. Once only!

Why is that?

to hercules post

 

[eddad]

He who smelt it,dealt it!

 

[apirateslifeforme]

Why am I so easily amused by Chuck Norris facts?

And you forgot the one about "booya."

 

[jimmiej]

Say "Yes, dear" & "I'm sorry"...a lot!

 

[Gonz Of Lancashire]

6a always follow the alternate urinal/stall rule.

6b If only two urinals in the bathroom and only one is being used, use the toilet, locking the door behind you to give out a really clear "I'm not that way inclined" message.

 

[Cool-Beans]

For every single man I'm related to...

Farts (and fart jokes) never cease to be funny, no matter how old you get.

For DH...

Never pick up your underwear.

Never learn where anything is in the kitchen...then you might have to DO something.

 

[belle_of_the_ball]

Chuck Norris facts:

my froshie class had some strange obbsession with Chuck Norris

heres some more facts

*The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably.

*Contrary to popular belief, Chuck Norris, not the box jellyfish of northern Australia, is the most venomous creature on earth. Within 3 minutes of being bitten, a human being experiences the following symptoms: fever, blurred vision, beard rash, tightness of the jeans, and the feeling of being repeatedly kicked through a car windshield.


*When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes, ever.


*Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.

*A Handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there.

*If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever

*Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris.


*In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.


*There are no steroids in baseball. Just players Chuck Norris has breathed on.

*Chuck Norris makes onions cry

*Chuck Norris can drown a fish

and my personal fave....

*Chuck Norris believes in TWP '09!



and guys...another rule

no having hands "soft as a baby's bottom" no...just dont.

 

[Hercules10]

Why is that?

Cause she'll get the impression that ya actually like listening to her ranting rather then

And why are there so many chicks in a obvious guy thread!?
OUT! OUT! Or obey DIS-Man Rule #1!

 

[What the Heck]

Never admit that you know what "Burnt Umber" or a "Swathe" is.

Huh? What the heck are those?

 

[Cool-Beans]

Cause she'll get the impression that ya actually like listening to her ranting rather then

And why are there so many chicks in a obvious guy thread!?
OUT! OUT! Or obey DIS-Man Rule #1!

Sorry to be in your thread, I didn't (and don't) know what DIS-Man Rule #1 was.

If it is all men, then it will soon be smelling like beer and very messy, so not only will I comply with your "Out! Out!" order, I'll do it happily. Beer smells gross. Oh, and I will not be picking up this mess!

 

[Hercules10]

If it is all men, then it will soon be smelling like beer and very messy.

And it'll also be smelling like used nachos!

By the way, we clean with a snow shovel not a vaccum.

 

[apirateslifeforme]

And why are there so many chicks in a obvious guy thread!?
OUT! OUT! Or obey DIS-Man Rule #1!

Am I not an honorary guy? Yet?