Guilt About Joining A Gym

[becka]

I have not been too great in the exercise department lately and so much of it is because I get bored and because I have been unable to find a way to play tennis which for me is the most painless form of exercise because I love it. DH and I used to play at least 3-4 times a week sometimes more but since DS has been here we have not played once. I don't really have easy access to a sitter for just 1-2 hours for us to go play so we just don't go.

I have since learned that a gym here in town has great tennis facilities and a nursery where we could leave DS while we play. This would be great for DH and I to get some time together to have fun and to help me lose weight but I am feeling tremendous guilt already just thinking about putting Nathan in the nursery. He is already in full-time daycare during the week and putting him in a different daycare setting on the weekends on a regular basis makes me feel bad.

Plus I figure that if I am going to be paying $60/month to use the gym then I probably should do more than play tennis. I could do some on the weekends but the best thing to do would be to go right after work. I get off at 3 and I could be there by 3:30. It is only 1/2 mile from DS's daycare but if I go to workout before I pick him up I would be leaving him in daycare for an additional hour a day. More guilt....and I really love our afternoons together before DH gets home

I know I need to do things for myself and that being healthier in the long run means I can be a better Mom to Nathan but I still just don't know about it. I hate having to make a choice between DS and exercise because I always hate to put myself first...I feel neglectful and selfish.

Has anyone else been in this situation? What did you do?

 

[blanq]

Becka, I think you should join the gym! I understand the pull on your heartstrings over this one, as I too have a child and work full time. Let me tell you though, when Nathan grows up I don't think he'll be complaining that your gym time constituted neglect! Look, time for you and time for you to be alone with your DH are actually good for Nathan! It is important for him to grow up with the message that his DM (Dear Mommy) and DD (Dear Daddy) love each other. Spending time alone with your DH sends the message to Nathan that you two love each other and that marriage is important to nurture.You will also be teaching Nathan about the importance of staying healthy and keeping fit, which I am sure is a message you want to pass along to him. When he gets old enough, maybe this gym has family memberships(?) and the three of you can play together. Some parents have dates at the movies, and you and your DH will have dates at the gym to play tennis. Just make sure you get a few smooches in between sets, okay?!

Linda

 

[nativetxn]

Becka, join the gym. Look at it this way, by working out and getting healthier, you <i>are</i> putting Nathan first. It's true. Don't worry about him spending an extra hour in daycare. In the first place, I don't think you would leave him there at all if it wasn't a wonderful environment for him, right? So, take one hour a day for yourself and get healthier.

I'll bet if you join the gym and work out everyday before picking him up at daycare, you will eventually have more energy so that when you <i>do</i> pick him up, you and he will have more fun and do more things together.

Nathan is going to be running all over the playground soon and you need to be able to keep up with him. I think you should join the gym.

Katholyn

 

[ahutton]

I have a ton of guilt about taking time away from my girls (3 years & 14 months - DDs) and until very recently have not been likely to do so. I did find fun ways to be active with them, and to do things that I can include them in, but the bottom line is to reach my goals I need to take some time to myself. When I do I am a much better Mom to them. Funny, but they think it is cool when someone comes over to play with them while Mommy and Daddy go out, they don't look at it like they are being neglected or avoided. I'm the one who has the guilt issues, they know they are secure and loved. Not sure that helps, I guess my "real point" is that the kids enjoy their time with people and friends to play with, they don't feel neglected they feel loved and are having fun.