guest number issue

ohdisco

Excited!
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Jan 9, 2007
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My father died when I was younger, and so I'm kind of estranged from my father's side of my family. For my wedding, I was only going to include the people I'm somewhat close to (my aunt, her husband, my g-ma, and her boyfriend) into my wedding. My wedding was going to host 55 people at Disneyland.

I was just informed that my entire dad's side of the family wants to come to the wedding.

I really don't know what to do. For the people that I already factored into the wedding, each of them was able to bring a guest if they wanted. If I keep that same track, I'll have over 100 people at my wedding! At the moment, we're looking at a 20K wedding including photography, cinematography, dress, tuxedo, and a few other things (honeymoon, bridesmaids dresses, and rings aren't included), but it would be WELL over that if I have all of them come.

What should I do? Should I not invite the family members I'm not close to/don't know, or should I drop the "invite a guest" option?
 
Is there an option of including them is a different event at Disney, but not the reception? I am assuming children aren't included, but arranging for a sitter if children will be there is probably cheaper than feeding them at a reception.

Another thing that people I know have done: Guest are only included if the people are married, engaged, or in a LONG-TERM relationship (multiple years, not just six months).
 
Do most of his side of the family live in the same general area? If so, would it be possible to have a "second reception"? I had a guest list issue: surprise additions from my DMIL forced me to "bump" some of the guests I had planned to invite on my side. And unless we get enough No-RSVPs far enough in advance, we're probably going to have a second reception "back at home" that will include all the people who were bumped and anybody else who is local. It would just be something somewhat informal, maybe a catered buffet dinner outside at my parents' house or at the local volunteer fire department. In my case, the issue is the limited capacity of the Living Seas more than the cost. I think second receptions are becoming more common though, either because the couple are having a fairly small destination wedding (and I think around 50 would be considered reasonably small) or because their "real" wedding is a super-traditional religious affair and they want to celebrate with their friends at a less formal event.

I like mla1977's idea of a separate event at Disney, too. Do you feel like his family is really excited about the idea of going to Disneyland or is it that they want to celebrate your wedding? Depending on the timing of your wedding and reception, would it be possible to have them go to the ceremony but not the reception you've already planned? Perhaps the original list of guests could go to ceremony+reception+dessert party and the "extras" could go to ceremony+dessert party?

That's a really tough position you're in, though. As for the dropping the "and guest" option, even though it is considered traditional/proper to only allow people with spouses or long-term boyfriends/girlfriends to bring a guest, I felt as if that wasn't being fair to my single guests. They'd have to pay for hotel rooms on their own and wouldn't have people to hang out with in the parks if they wanted to go off on their own some of the time. But that's only because many of my single friends don't know each other. They're from all over the place. I did not, however, invite any of my single family members with the "and guest" option. I figured that if their whole family was staying there, they could stay with siblings and didn't need to have someone they were just casually dating come as well.

(As an aside, one very odd guest list thing that happened to me was that one of my single girlfriends asked if I had room to invite her parents, too. I've only met her mother once, her father never. So her request was a little unexpected. And when I told her that I didn't think I'd have room, she decided that she'd rather bring her mother than her somewhat-long-term boyfriend as her "guest", which is completely fine with me. But still a bit odd...)
 
Well, I talked it over with my mom, and she's being really oddly chipper about it. She thinks it'll make for a better party if they're ALL invited, and anyone can bring a guest. Our guest list has now gone from 30 invitees and their guests (equaling 55), to over 100 people.

Most of the family lives in one general area, but one of my aunts and all of her children live in Missouri, and they'll be flying out to CA to come to the wedding. My mother and I already decided that we are inviting the children to the ceremony/reception. It's only 20 dollars extra per child because of the children's menu, so it shouldn't be that horrible.

With the added guests, we're looking at a 25K wedding in total (Including wedding rings, gown, tuxedos, all flowers, all food, all facility fees, all gifts) so I think that's a pretty good deal!

Thank you guys!
 
That's wonderful! It's very cool that your mom is being so positive about the change!! And I agree: 25K for a Disney wedding with 100 guests is great. You must have made some good decisions in your planning. I hope you have an absolutely magical wedding!
 




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