Guest list?

[jeters_boy]

We are not sure which type of wedding we will need - intimate or custom. We don't know how many people will be willing to come to disney world with us. Does anyone have any ideas on how to estimate how many people will come? Should we send out rsvps and see how many people will come? Is it proper to invite people to the reception and not the wedding (in case we have an intimate)? I'm scared that will hurt feelings. Any tips and advice will be appreciated!! thanks

 

[jojoandhb]

This is how I made my guest list. I asked my fiance who he wants there. He said his brother and his brother's wife. I wanted my brother and sister and their families. Then, we made a list of maybes. I called each person. Some committed right away, my brother and sister and my fiance's brother. That's 11 people including 3 kids. Some people would not commit. Many of our family members do not get along. I got some, "I'm not coming if so-and-so is there." Fine. Sorry you can't make it. We ended up with 17 people who were willing to commit. Anyone who was unsupportive, "Why do you have to have it there?" got left off. Anyone who said, "I'm only coming if you pay for my hotel and travel." was left off. Anyone who was happy for us, was supportive, and really wanted to be there is invited.
To answer your second question it is perfectly ok to invite people to the reception only, but it's considered bad etiquette to invite people to the ceremony only. Anyone who loves you will understand if you can't invite them all to the ceremony. Just tell them up front why you made that decision.

 

[dznystar]

My view is that anyone who really has a desire to be there with you and celebrate your big day will be there at any cost. We originally planned an intimate, but we had a larger response so we've changed to a custom. I know lots of cases where they were going to have a smaller (family only) wedding and have a larger reception after. Good luck with the planning.

 

[JonetteA]

I have known people who sent out an email to get a feel for how many will come. The other option is to plan for the max and then if you have to go down to an intimate you can. I am not sure of the timeframe though. The other thing we did was send out save the date cards. Sometimes we got a phone call back with interest or no interest. However, my suggestion would be to determine what you can afford now. If that is a custom with your max list or an intimate. Don't get yourself too far deep where later on the financial pressure is really really on.

 

[pixie08]

We sent out a preliminary newsletter and response cards...very casual. we gave people some travel info etc and told them this was in no way a definite just to Disney wa asking for an estimate guest count. i think we sent out about 45 )around 85 poepl) recieved 35 back. The response was greater than we thought. We thought we may only have 40 or so people but now are looking at 65-70. so this may be a good approach for you.