GUESS WHO'S COMING TO FREE DINNER, or, Feeding Nebo,,,,completed

[tiggerbell]

" Here comes Santa Claus, here come's Santa Claus, right down Santa Claus lane."

OH, please. Someone help me. I can't get this out of my head. For two entire weeks. Every time I go up to see my wife, it's playing on the jukebox.
Every time I turn on the TV, it's Christmas Vacation, and right at that part where the swat team breaks in with that song playing! And I"m almost out of the "home lobotamy" refills.

Right back.

Rhonda and I just sang an Allen Sherman medley at dinner...

 

[nebo]

Boy Jaime, I wouldn't want to be you right now. To mistakenly try to correct the Neb, and then be correctly set on the straight and narrow by a family member? wow. and you're a disser.

By the way, I'm still waiting to hear where your surgery is at. I'm starting to think it's a covert mission.

Ya know? In retrospect, I'm going to take that sentence back.
.Won thgir uoy eb ot tnab t'ndluow I ,emiaJ yoB

I WOULDN'T WANT TO BE RHONDA RIGHT NOW!

( boy, I hope somebody out there realizes what a pain in the butt it was to do that.)

Nah!


'Twas the night before Christmas, I'm not on the Dis.
It seems they decided, that things were amiss.

The fastpasses hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes "OhMari", soon would be there.

I in my fishing hat, Diane-fanny pack,
Had just settled down for a trip report snack.

Yeah, yeah, back to business.

Ok, so pictures taken, everyone is just zipping around in front of the Madagascar pavillion. And, honestly, it didn't take me long to get bored, at all. Diane is doing the loops around the pillars, and everyone else is just having the times of their lives it seems.

Me?
I have had it with the thing pulling up on me everytime I get moving.
Not sure if you know, but the machines are controlled by different "keys".
These keys are color coded.
The color of the keys determines the maximum speed your Segway will go.
Of course, as tourists, we get the slowest "key".
I think it's the blue one, but don't hold me on that. That one only goes up to 5 miles per hour.
The next one, ten. And the next color, twelve, I think. Anyway, I kept hitting my maximum, and it pulled back on me. And I got to the "why bother" stage.

I looked over at Diane, and she's having fun. That's fine. I'm going to put this thing to some good use now.
I zipped this thing over to the side of Ital,,,Borneo, and gee, a smoking secton!
I no sooner lit up, and of course, Diane found me. " What are you doing?"
"Wasting this precious time for a smoke?"
"Yep."

As I stood there, I noticed that lauren and no name guy were just standing there, off to the side, not far from me.
And she's got one of those new, enhanced Segways, that you don't turn with the grip, you turn by leaning.

hmm

No, it's not her Segway that I'm after, although I would have loved to try it.
But she also has a different color key hanging from it.
Ahhh!

If I can just get near her and switch keys?

Oh, the merry mix-ups that would occur when I take off screaming maniacally heading towards the Yacht and Beach Club, and she can't catch me!

And then my mind pictured the end of "Von Ryan's Express", when Frand Sinatra couldn't quite reach the railing of the caboose in time before he was shot in the back.

So, I nixed it.
Sorry, I know you had your hopes up.

However, hey, doesn't hurt to ask, right?

I zipped over to Lauren, with all the sauve e' faire I could muster,,,
" How YOU doin?"
Ok, actually, what I said was, " Hey, Scooter Tutor, any chance I could try your brand new key in my brand new pair of roller skates?"

I would have never asked "Phil", our tutor from may.
He was the "ruder scooter tutor."
But I thought I might have chance with Lauren, the "cuter scooter tutor."

Yeah, right.

" IN YOUR DREAMS, BALDY!"
Well, she didn't exactly say that, but the end result was the same.

After everyone was done running into each other, it was time to quack, quack , back to Communiventions.

In review, I think women will like this tour more than men, especially if you've done the short tour first. And I was a little dissapointed cuz I thought we were going more behind the scenes in World Showcase.
But, it was fun. Only casualties were 12 petunias, 3 salvia, 4 geraniums that deserved to die, and a snapdragon.

Back on our own, we headed to living Seas, to try Crush again.
This time we got a standing room spot on the side, just as we walked up.
Everyone seemed to love the show, but, I have a hard time hearing it.
I wish Crush came with subtitles.
But, even more than Crush, I couldn't hear the little kids in the front, asking the questions.

And we head over to the Land.

At this point, I'm going to pause, just enough to say I am about to open myself up to public ridicule.
Kinda like what I just did to Jaime.

Yep , this is her chance for revenge.

You see, my trip reports collided in my head, may and september.

And I can't remember which trip it was that Living with the Land , was down.
It was either closed in may, or sept. But we did do it once. And this is kind of important, because they have now changed it, a lot. At least the boats.

It's like this.
As the girl that was "driving" the boat, and also teaching, informing, us, she used some lines that seemed in the long run, to come back and haunt her.

We were told about our responsibilities, to take care of nature, even plant life extinction isn't a good thing.

And she, herself, was about to become extinct.

They have recently replaced the "captain" with a digital voiceover, computer controlled boat, that has rendered her job obsolete.
But I didn't know it at the time, I doubt she did either.
So, I didn't get a chance to properly say goodbye to the dodo bird like I would have.

Stop it, I'm not that mean.

Least not yet.

We have about 40 minutes till our Soarin window opens, and we head over to Circle of life.
Hey, it's a show we havent done to death.
Now, here we go again.
Not my finest hour.
Yes, your right, what is my finest hour? I think it's 14 o'clock. And I'm still waiting.

Anyway, you enter this extremely little cleverly laid out theatre from the top.
Oh, Joy!

And then you walk down imitation stairs. Stairs? Fine. Landings? Fine.
Both together? Just swell.
Each stair is two and a half steps wide.
Yep.
A Nebo accident waiting to happen.

I almost went down twice. Pulled some poor guy's prosthetic arm off his shoulder who was stupid enough to take an aisle seat.
Ok, that didn't happen, but I really almost did go down twice. As we neared an open aisle, the lady behind me actually said:
"Oh please sir, sit there, my heart can't take it anymore watching you."

Diane busted up laughing, and darn near threw me into the next seat.

And that woman followed in right with us to make sure I wasn't going anywhere.
After we were educated some more, it was time for our fastpass.

This time in the Soarin preshow, I didn't open my mouth when the tourists ask, " hey! who is that guy?" Nope. Not me. Uh uh. Not happening this time. Ok, I cracked, and slammed the guy up against the cage, and yelled, "IT"S Puddy, from Seinfeld!" And he was happy. And I was happy. Oh happy day.

After Soarin, it's time to use a counter service meal. And the plan is this is a "split" meal again. Yeah, I'm hungry now, and we can do this. We stay right there in the Land Pavillion, and head to the Asian Counter service window.
Then we found out why there wasn't any line there.
We walk up and Diane says to the waiting Asian girl standing there that we want to order lunch.

" Hokay", and she turns around and starts cooking things.
"Um, excuse me, we haven't ordered anything yet."
" Hokay"
I could see this was gonna get ugly, and was looking for the counter that I can busy myself with getting napkins and whatnot.
"Diane says we'd like the number 11, two choices of entries, plus two sides, a drink and a desert."
I had told Diane I want the sweet and sour, and rice for a side. That's it.
So, she tells the girl that. Uh uh, now she wont' move.
" But you must order 2 entries, and 2 sides."
"Yes, I know, this is the first, when you're ready I'll give you the second."
" Hokay, what is the second?"

Yep, that's what I thought was going to happen, so I cleverly told Diane, "Uh oh, looks like the soy sauce is almost gone at the counter, gonna start gathering the stuff up."

She just couldn't get it through to Epcot Rose to put an entry and side on the same plate, so she gave up. Oh, she used two plates alright, both entries on one plate, both sides on the other, and the desert on the third.
No Tiggerbell, I don't remember what the desert was this time either. When we got to the table, we just shifted it all where it belonged.

I'm not sure if it's because it was free, but it really wasn't bad, for a fast food place. And we both had enough that we wouldn't be hungry till dinner.
So far, the dining plan is working out just swell.
It's about ten to one now, and since our adr isn't until after Illuminations in Mexico, we head on back for a swim. I'm looking at the sky, "go ahead, make my day". Yeah, played this game before. It's clear now, but, we'll see.

coming up, "Oh Mexico, where art thou?" bye bye


just a small aside, it took me 20 minutes to log on just now, and I can't seem to post a smiley. I love it when they fix things that didn't seem to be broke in the first place. back soon, steve

 

[tiggerbell]

Boy Jaime, I wouldn't want to be you right now. To mistakenly try to correct the Neb, and then be correctly set on the straight and narrow by a family member? wow. and you're a disser.

By the way, I'm still waiting to hear where your surgery is at. I'm starting to think it's a covert mission.

Ya know? In retrospect, I'm going to take that sentence back.
.Won thgir uoy eb ot tnab t'ndluow I ,emiaJ yoB

I WOULDN'T WANT TO BE RHONDA RIGHT NOW!

Actually, if I'd used the little bit of brain I didn't drink away this week - in your first picture, you can plainly see Italy. My bad.

The surgery is actually in the back surgical room of the doctor's office - in Oak Park. We could do it at a hospital or in the office (I think I get a bullet to bite on during and then Miss Kitty will fix me up with a nice hooker afterwards!) and it's cheaper in the office!

( boy, I hope somebody out there realizes what a pain in the butt it was to do that.)

BRAVO!!!!!!!

'Twas the night before Christmas, I'm not on the Dis.
It seems they decided, that things were amiss.

The fastpasses hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes "OhMari", soon would be there.

I in my fishing hat, Diane-fanny pack,
Had just settled down for a trip report snack.

I zipped over to Lauren, with all the sauve e' faire I could muster,,,
" How YOU doin?"

JOEY!!!! Friends is my favorite show, btw... although right now I'm engrossed in the first season of Melrose Place.

Ok, actually, what I said was, " Hey, Scooter Tutor, any chance I could try your brand new key in my brand new pair of roller skates?"

OK - I get that one! That was my favorite 45 when I was a little girl!

Only casualties were 12 petunias, 3 salvia, 4 geraniums that deserved to die, and a snapdragon.

I thought for sure that would be a "snapdragon in a pear tree".

And we head over to the Land.

At this point, I'm going to pause, just enough to say I am about to open myself up to public ridicule.
Kinda like what I just did to Jaime.

Yep , this is her chance for revenge.

You see, my trip reports collided in my head, may and september.

And I can't remember which trip it was that Living with the Land , was down.
It was either closed in may, or sept. But we did do it once. And this is kind of important, because they have now changed it, a lot. At least the boats.

September. It was down when we were there and opening up in a day or 2. And, if not, Rhonda will rat me out.

 

[Backstage_Gal]

Only casualties were 12 petunias, 3 salvia, 4 geraniums that deserved to die, and a snapdragon.

Nebo, do you know how many landscapers you just crushed with that single sentence?????????
They come in night:30 am and slave for you, and you tell them the geraniums deserved to die????????

Otherwise, fabulous as always!!

 

[lexmelinda]

And then my mind pictured the end of "Von Ryan's Express", when Frand Sinatra couldn't quite reach the railing of the caboose in time before he was shot in the back.

That really paints a picture...for me....of you.....escaping through Borneo on the Segway.

I would have never asked "Phil", our tutor from may.
He was the "ruder scooter tutor."
But I thought I might have chance with Lauren, the "cuter scooter tutor."

" IN YOUR DREAMS, BALDY!"

She really did say that, didn't she?

I cracked, and slammed the guy up against the cage, and yelled, "IT"S Puddy, from Seinfeld!"

It's always the stuff that you didn't do that makes your report so hilarious.

Hope you and Diane had a very Merry Christmas. No really....I mean it!

 

[RHONDALEE]

You got this one right Jaime The Land was closed when you were there the first week in Sept. and was open when I was there the week after you


She doesn't scare me Nebo. She's 3 inches taller than me and outweigh's me by ??? #'s but if she did or said anything - I'd tell Mommy.................. She's always liked me best.

 

[Philadisney]

I just stumbled onto your trip report and I am loving it (even though I'm only on page two - you haven't even landed in Orlando yet!). You are too funny - thanks for sharing your trip! I can't wait to read the rest!

 

[nebo]

I don't know. Maybe I'm in a "post holodayic" mode, but I am laughing my asp of here right now, just reading the comments from the last installment.

I'm just the host. It's you guys that are the star of the show! I mean that, I was laughing so hard, almost spilled my geritol.
Hey, jluvsdis,,,,, we want to know how it went. ? Especially, the running of the bulls at Fantasmic.

Now, since the changed things here, I am still having all kinds of problems. Took me 3 times to get my member name up again, and it won't let me quote.
so, doing it the old fashioned way.

Only casualties were 12 petunias, 3 salvia, 4 geraniums that deserved to die, and a snapdragon.


I thought for sure that would be a "snapdragon in a pear tree". end quote



I believe this is from Jaime, and , you don't know how right you are! I actually started typing it,,, then thought, no,, I've gone to that well too many times already.

and , yes , Marita, those geraniums deserved to die. For one thing, they were right on the corner, where your left wheel had to turn, so they were asking for it right there.
But it was the smug look on their face that did it. They were over in the kryzakistan pavillion, on the way to Italy. I'm sorry, I mean Berwyn pavillion.
(see Tiggerbell)

 

[nebo]

You got this one right Jaime The Land was closed when you were there the first week in Sept. and was open when I was there the week after you

Ok, my turn. You mean, you and your sister just went to the Dis, only a week apart??? Wow, I thought I had cornered the market on the dysfunctional family trip. This is probably the part, where Smidgy, and Marita, and Monica and Melissa, all jab me in the side with their collective elbows and say, " Steve?, just sit there, ok?" "Don't say anything"!


crap, can't even post a moped bye bye, bye guys, thanks again, you guys all rock! MOPED

 

[monymony3471]

Anyway, you enter this extremely little cleverly laid out theatre from the top.
Oh, Joy!

And then you walk down imitation stairs. Stairs? Fine. Landings? Fine.
Both together? Just swell.
Each stair is two and a half steps wide.
Yep.
A Nebo accident waiting to happen.

I almost went down twice. Pulled some poor guy's prosthetic arm off his shoulder who was stupid enough to take an aisle seat.
Ok, that didn't happen, but I really almost did go down twice. As we neared an open aisle, the lady behind me actually said:
"Oh please sir, sit there, my heart can't take it anymore watching you."

Diane busted up laughing, and darn near threw me into the next seat.

And that woman followed in right with us to make sure I wasn't going anywhere.

Where's video when you need it! Classic nebo moment! Enjoyed the laugh. Thanks.

 

[monymony3471]

You got this one right Jaime The Land was closed when you were there the first week in Sept. and was open when I was there the week after you

Ok, my turn. You mean, you and your sister just went to the Dis, only a week apart??? Wow, I thought I had cornered the market on the dysfunctional family trip. This is probably the part, where Smidgy, and Marita, and Monica and Melissa, all jab me in the side with their collective elbows and say, " Steve?, just sit there, ok?" "Don't say anything"!


crap, can't even post a moped bye bye, bye guys, thanks again, you guys all rock! MOPED

Who would make me laugh if you just sat there and said nothing? Write on!

 

[SamanthaL]

William H. Macy! Thanks for the pics!! Wow! Those helmuts are.........ohh....sorta.....snazzy. Ya..snazzy...that's it.

I don't really have a thing for Wiliam H. Macy but he seems like a nice guy.

Diane what a sweet thing to say about Nebo. I agree. Any guy who will go to a chick show for their wife is sexy. My poor DH gets dragged to Disney every chance I get and he goes with a smile even though he longs for a beach.

OK. I am getting nervous Nebo. There is lots of talk about you nearly falling and re-hurting ( it's a medical term us nurses use) yourself. Put me out of my misery and just tell me....do you only have near misses or does something really happen on a set of those oversized steps? I can't take the suspense!

 

[tiggerbell]

You got this one right Jaime The Land was closed when you were there the first week in Sept. and was open when I was there the week after you

Ok, my turn. You mean, you and your sister just went to the Dis, only a week apart??? Wow, I thought I had cornered the market on the dysfunctional family trip. This is probably the part, where Smidgy, and Marita, and Monica and Melissa, all jab me in the side with their collective elbows and say, " Steve?, just sit there, ok?" "Don't say anything"!


crap, can't even post a moped bye bye, bye guys, thanks again, you guys all rock! MOPED

The funny part about this was that when Rhonda posted about going the week after me - I got confused, too!

We've been on so many trips together the last few years (since I remedied the marriage problem I was having that was keeping me out of Disney!) that I actually forgot we took separate trips!

I took Meg and Ashley and Rhonda went with her boyfriend the next week. For a month before the trips, we couldn't look at each other without saying, "I wish I was going with you!"

Well, she's remedied her boyfriend issue too, so all the trips in 2007 are together! I freely admit the most fun I have in Disney is with Rhonda.

 

[RHONDALEE]

I'm not computer savey like Jaime. I don't know how to do that "QUOTE' thingy so I'll have to type it.

"I freely admit the most fun I have in Disney is with Rhonda"


ahhhhhhh Likewise little Sister

 

[tiggerbell]

I'm not computer savey like Jaime. I don't know how to do that "QUOTE' thingy so I'll have to type it.

"I freely admit the most fun I have in Disney is with Rhonda"


ahhhhhhh Likewise little Sister

YOU have the most fun with RHONDA, too????? Not too conceited, is we?

 

[swankybeth]

Of course I stumbled upon this trippie a little late, but better late than never! Nebo, you are one funny guy!

 

[nebo]

Originally Posted by RHONDALEE
I'm not computer savey like Jaime. I don't know how to do that "QUOTE' thingy so I'll have to type it.

"I freely admit the most fun I have in Disney is with Rhonda"


ahhhhhhh Likewise little Sister

YOU have the most fun with RHONDA, too????? Not too conceited

These two are a riot. They can't even compliment each other without going for the throat.

Did you guys know there is a review of posts down at the bottom of the page? Wow, this makes it a whole lot easier. Please tell me this is a new thing. Please?

I'm going to quit trying for a big block of time till these holidays end, and just post when I can. So expect some short chapters over the next two days.

And everyone who's out celebrating tonight, becareful about drinking and driving. You might hit a bump and spill.

All those out there that want to see me really get in trouble, raise your hands. Yep, I thought so.

In a little bit, we're going to find out how much of a sense of humor Diane has.

Back at Pop, we change and head on down to the pool, me, about 5 minutes ahead of her.
I think she planned it this way.
I'm on the 4th floor, so naturally press down, and wait.
"Ding", the doors open up, and I was just barely able to sidestep this huge, remote controlled laundry/maid cart in time before it crushed me. I say remote controlled because whoever was pushing it must have been pretty short. I never saw them. As it went by, I went in, and just as I was about to press "one", it changed it's mind and came right back after me. I felt like I was going to be a victim in the movie "Killdozer." Or Joyride.
I squeeze into a corner, and don't even try to reach the buttons now.
The doors opened up once on the way down, but whoever it was , decided not to mess with the Disney Demon Maid.
We stopped again,which I assumed was the ground floor, and I waited for killdozer to leave. And it did. For a second. As I was walking out right behind it, it stops, and starts backing up.

Iwas wondering if somebody was in the elevator next to us doing the same thing, that somehow I got caught up in weird relay race.
Just before I got pinned to the back wall again, I yelled out. "Hey!"
Which was followed by a "gasp!"
She had no idea I was riding with her all this time. Then I saw why. It was a little baby spanish woman.
After getting out of the Tower of Terror, I then got to listen to her apologize for about 5 minutes.
In spanish.
Well, I assumed it was spanish, could've been swahili for all the spanish I know. Probably didn't help when I kept yelling, "no mas!, no mas!"

Then, in my hurry to get away, I didn't realize that "killdozer" had ended up on a little piece of the heel of my flip flop. And once again, I almost went down, and yanked my foot right out of the thing.
5 more minutes of apologizing.
In spanish.
"Ding". The other elevator opens up, and Diane gives me that eyebrow look like, "Now what have you done?"
I patted killdozer,,,,, SIC HER!

This time at the pool, we were adventurous, we took loungers that were 3 down from where we usually sat. I opened up my trusty bathroom reader and then went through my "pool" mental checklist.

Sky? only one cloud, looks safe
Kids? other side of pool, looks safe
Yo-yo? it's behaving so far, no special effects
Temporary landscaping? mostly older folks, severely bikini deprived

We talk for a bit, then I just practice my daydreaming.
And listen to the oldies in the background playing.

Ok, here we go. I hope you enjoy this cuz it's probably gonna cost me.

You know how sometimes you say something really stupid, something you can't believe just came out of you, and you tell the person you're with,
"If you ever tell somebody this, I"ll kill you."?

Well, she did, and I'm about to, and I hope she doesn't

There was a song playing that I could just barely make out, so I asked her what it was.

"Very funny."

Huh? What?
Then I figured out what the song was.

"Everybody Plays the Fool." By the Main Ingredient.

You see, it happened like this. One time about 3 years ago, this song came on when we were in the car. And I told her a little useless trivia concerning it.

"Do you know who's singing this song?" "Not the band name, but who's in it?"
"No, I don't, do tell."
"It's Cuba Gooding Jr.'s father singing this."

Then she said the classic line.

"Oh really? What's his name?"
I just stared at her. mouth hanging open.
Then the red started creeping into her face,,,,,, "Oh, DOH!" and then, "IF you ever tell somebody I said that, I'll kill you."

Which now brings us to, she said it, and I just did.
So sitting in the chair, I busted up laughing all over again. She too.

and with that, I have to run, back either later tonight, for sure tomorrow.

 

[Backstage_Gal]

Did you guys know there is a review of posts down at the bottom of the page? Wow, this makes it a whole lot easier. Please tell me this is a new thing. Please?

Nebo, I don't see that option at all. Maybe it is just for thread starters
Either that or I am blind.

Diane, I am with you, I hate to admit it, but the Cuba Gooding, Jr .fathers name thing took me a couple of readings, LOL

 

[monymony3471]

Well after that, I guess I really have to wish you a Happy New Year. Hope it's a good one. With a few less mishaps. In your case, accidents.

Really. I wish you the happy part.

 

[lexmelinda]

Is it manhattan-thirty already? Always happy to have a new installment...short or long.

Please tell me this is a new thing. Please?

Sorry, dude....not new. You just never scolled down far enough. It is handy though...I must admit.

And everyone who's out celebrating tonight, becareful about drinking and driving. You might hit a bump and spill.

You are the anti-DISUNC....but I still laughed.

I patted killdozer,,,,, SIC HER!

Why do these things always happen to you. Do you ever check for a sign on your back?

Temporary landscaping? mostly older folks, severely bikini deprived

Nebo? Dirty old man? I never figured you for that.

"Oh really? What's his name?"

Uh-oh....now you're gonna get it! Srsly....Diane...sounds like something I'd say.
HAPPY NEW YEAR, STEVE & DIANE!!