Grown Children using your points!!

[OKW91]

We have married children, and they think nothing of asking Mom & Dad about using are points for their vacation! I was just wondering if anyone else has a similar problem, how do you say "NO" without bad feelings!

 

[alsipd]

I actually like giving my kids the time at Disney. They are very appreciative when they get to go and most times they even ask if I want to go too.

The reason I bought DVC was to share it with my family and hopefully soon, with my grand children. I just can't wait to experience Disney world through the eyes of one (or more) of my grand children.

 

[Candace]

From your screen name, I assume you bought at OKW in 1991, so your kids have been going for 12 years and are probably now grown. You know how kids are when they are young, "what is my parents is mine also". LOL! I bought in '94, and I can forsee this same thing happening with my boys in the near future. Of course, you could always secretly buy more points just for yourselves and not tell them!

 

[Terry S]

When have two small childern right now (ages 5 and 6), but when we bought DVC we bought enough points for two seperate 10 day stays in a 2 bedroom so that when the kids get older we can invite them and their families each for a 10 day vacations in WDW with Grandma and Grandpa.

 

[Mic]

We were in our early 30's with 4 young children when we purchased DVC a few years ago. I have every intention of "sharing" my points with my children and grandchildren in the future, but I am not sure how we could fairly distribute them without someone thinking they got the short end of the agreement(don't we all think Mom and Dad's favorite is someone other than ourselves?). I thought perhaps we could split our points in half every year between 2 kids, so every other year each family could go. I would leave it up to the kids to exchange with each other if they ever needed to, so I would not be "favoring" any one child, heaven forbid. Of course, the only problem with this plan is I could never go, unless invited by one of them(hopefully my favorite ). Since our original purchase, I have added-on 50 points twice at 2 other resorts, and if I could manage to do this 2 more times(without DH knowing, of course), then I could just give each child a 50-point contract, which would net them a week in a studio during value season every other year, and I could keep my original contract to use to spoil the grandkids for a week or 2 each year without their parents. My biggest problem right now are the relatives who think we stay at WDW "for free", and get upset that they are not invited to share the magic. At least my kids understand the part about paying for DVC, right down to the yearly dues, so I feel sure they will be grateful for any points allotted to them. But on the outside chance that they grow up to be free-loaders like some of their cousins, then the 50-point contract per child would probably be the best option for us, with no exceptions. Hmmm...I need to get busy purchasing some more points!

 

[Merilyn]

When we bought it was to take family vacations. We, also bought enough points to split among them as we get older. I have both my grown children on the contract as members. They got the ownership at their 21st birthdays. What a great birthday present. We always ask the kids to go if their schedule works. Wouldn't want it any other way. I, too, can't wait for the grandkids and visits to "Mickey's House".

 

[TwirlerGirl]

That is a rough one to solve. We have been membes since '97 at that time our oldest was 22 yo, bearly speaking to his step father and the youngest was 18 yo and enjoying college life. We bought with the idea of family vacations in the future but new we would need some rules. Here is how we do it. Over the holidays we mention what our vacatiion plans are for the coming year. We let the kids know if we are using all of our points or if time is available for them or ask if anyone would like to join us. If an invitation is extended, they have until the end of Jan. to decide or we use to points our selves.

No one was interested for the first few years - vacationing with the parents was the last thing on their minds. Than the youngest had plan a trip to visit a friend who moved to FL and ask if any points were available for a small trip, since it was last minute. I booked a studio for him and three friends for two nights. We had our first family vacation with the oldest and his family in September 2002. We planed for a 1 1/2 yrs. We booked the rooms and they paid for their own way for the rest. Best family vacation we ever had especially enjoying the 2 grandsons. Stepfather & son enjoy a loving relationship. We now see them almost everyday.

This year my youngest DS is getting married. They had an oppurtunity to purchase a house or take a honeymoon. They decided on a house. As an enagement/wedding present we are giving they a week at HH for their honeymoon. We are not weathly or even comfortable, my husband works two jobs to keep us in the black. Being able to share the magic has given us great joy. Just set down a few rules you are comfortable with and enjoy your family as long as you have them. It is to much of a crazy world not to.


Sandy B.

 

[Dean]

That's funny as we were just sitting around talking last night and I told my two teens not to count on using our points on their own as they get older. I have enough points they could do so but we're trying to ensure they learn appropriate vs inappropriate requests before it becomes a major issue.

 

[GrammieMame]

I bought my points to have family vacations. Family means me and my husband, or me and by daughter/grandchildren, or me and my husband & stepchildren. No way am I going to miss the fun (unless it became impossible for me to use the points, which I can't imagine). They can have exclusive access when I'm dead.

 

[Tigger7570]

When we bought in 93 we also bought enough so that in the future our children and grandchildren could enjoy with us. I stress with us, because I want to enjoy it with them. We have since added on 100 points and we gave our oldest son his honeymoon as a wedding gift and told him to chose where he wanted to go. He chose Disney and they had 7 wondeful nights at the Polynesian. We have taken many a family vacation with our now grown sons and their wifes/fiances and grandchildren. The biggest problem I have is that because we have owned since 93, the misperception is that it is a free vacation. Not that they aren't grateful, because they are, but seem to take it for granted. Not recognizing just how much of a luxury it is to have the ability to go on vacation every year in Florida. Then again, we have had friends and relatives who until they make a trip with us wonder why we want to go back every year. After they see it, and this includes friends with timeshares in Arruba, etc., they can't believe how large and beautiful the condos are. I think it's like anything else, we love our kids, but sometimes we have done so much for them, that they just take things for granted. Not because they don't appreciate it, but just because it has always been there.

 

[disnygrl00]

I am a grown kid whose parents have to ask if they can use MY points. It's fun to have POWER!!

btw..I NEVER tell them they can't and let them use as much as they wan't.

 

[Gillian]

Maybe the "kids" just figure it can't hurt to ask. The worst you can say is no. And I see nothing wrong with saying no. If you do have extra points, allowing your children to use them or rent them at a good rate would be very nice, but make it on your terms, as suggested above.

I wish my parents had bought DVC instead of a house in the mountains. They could have had a ton of points! Plenty to share with me & DH

 

[Geebs]

Being an adult child, I have used my parents dvc. i only asked 1 time to go down by myself with some friends..all other time has been with my parents. If you feel strange about telling your kids "no". Maybe arrange a little payment. Trust me, I know what it would cost to have those accomodations at Disney or elsewhere. I have tried to offer my parents $( they denied) to at least give them something. Maybe for a studio for a week...$200-$500...with the price being $300 a night...it is a bargain by any means. maybe you could use it towards the dues.

 

[BCVOwner2002]

While I have not experienced your issue (my DS is only 16) here is my 2 cents:

If your children are now adults why don't they purchase DVC themselves? Not knowing how many points you own, I think it's presumptuous of them to assume you will let them use your points! Whether you have treated them to vacations in the past is irrelevant as far as I'm concerned. You paid for DVC and it's yours to enjoy or share as you see fit.

JMHO - Annmarie

 

[KNWVIKING]

My oldest son is a senior in college. This May he got serious with a girl.Just before Thanksgiving he ask to use some points for this spring break. We got them 6 nites at VWL but warned him that if they broke up before then,mom & dad were going. Now I'm afraid the younger son-a sophmore,will want similar treatment Oh well, after all the tuition payments,rent,food,etc,the points are the cheapest thing he's asked for.

PS: When DVC II becomes a reality,it will be their responsibility to by points,so maybe I'll be calling them someday looking for points.

 

[BobH]

If you have savings or an equity line try putting your kids tuition on a credit card that gives you frequent flyer miles. I have 2 kids in college and this trick has gained me about 10 tickets so far.
Just be sure you can pay the balance every month. I have let my kids use DVC points as well. Not a problem. They appreciate it.

 

[iluvdisney]

I don't have a problem sharing my DVC points with the kids - as a matter of fact, they even purchased their own points on our contract so they didn't use up ours.
Merilyn, did you have any trouble adding your grown kids' names to the contract?

 

[KNWVIKING]

....since the first boy started: 5 round trip airline ticks,$2000.00 gm card rebate toward next vehicle, Radisson points worth 3 nites in Boston Radisson for his graduation weekend this june,(3 nites equals about $1000.00) Sheraton points for two studios,6 nites each at the orlando studio city sheraton on international drive, (the round building with the globe on top across from Wet-n-Wild) for graduation bash with his brother. The tickets will fly us down,we buy the new van in may,the gm rebate dollars are the trip spending money. Believe me,virtually everything I purchase is on credit cards. I'll even buy US savings bonds on-line with the CC.

 

[Sharper]

While I adore my children, who are currently 7 and 14, they already know that it is one thing to be given something as a treat, but quite another to expect the gift. YOU purchased the points and if it works for you to offer them, then that is wonderful. However, you are most definitely entitled to use them, rent them or give them to someone else.

My opinion is that grown children who would possibly make you feel uncomfortable for saying no should be told no! Their sense of entitlement needs to be shaken a bit and perhaps it would do them good to purchase DVC, rent points or pay cash. Then they would have a greater appreciation for your past generosity.

You have to cut the apron strings sometimes. Waiting too long doesn't do grown children a lot of good. I have too many friends and family members who silently resent their kids mooching, but don't put an end to it.

 

[Cruelladeville]

I share your pain--I have two adult children who have been going to Florida since they were born, so there is a sense of entitlement there. When my kids
ask about points, I always say "Sure! I'm going down from the 1st to the 12th, which days will you be here to share our digs?" That stops them--they hem and haw, and eventually either joins us for a few days, or they back out. On special occasions I don't mind sharing my points, but I try to communicate that these are my points to use as I please. I try to plan 3 vacations per year, so those points are reserved. If there are any extra, I let the kids use those points, but there usually aren't too many left-over points. After a few times of inviting the kids to MY vacations, and appearing obtuse when they are trying to ask me for a couple hundred "spare" points, they do get the idea. My kids still can't understand what "old people" could actually find to do down at Disney.