Grieving support thread

[binny]

I just thought I would start this thread for all of us who are missing a loved one this season.

I know we miss them all year round but it seems so much worse during the holidays.

Share your stories here.


Did they love the holidays? Tell us a story about them!

 

[luvwinnie]

Great idea, Binny. My passed July 12, 2004 at age 68.
My mom was a very talented cook...she could eat something at a restaurant and then go home and make it even better! We're Italian (although my mom was actually Irish/German, she "converted" after marrying my dad, lol!!) so for Christmas Eve she'd make calamari and shrimp and spaghetti and antipasto. I miss her so so much and this month is even worse. I just want her back.

My brother joked that on her headstone we should have put "We'll miss your meatballs." She would have gotten a good laugh out of that! We laughed sooo much and I am so glad I have on video all of us playing Balderdash and laughing so hard we cried. My mom always kept her sense of humor even through 4 years of dialysis.

 

[binny]

She sounds wonderful!




Thank you for sharing your story!

 

[Pooh_Friend#1]

I could really use this post, thanks Binny.

My grandpa (dad's side) passed away at the end of June 2005 from bone marrow cancer. He LOVED my mom's peanut brittle and fudge and my mom would make a ton of it for him. This time of year we would be skiing together. I think my grandpa was born on skiis as well as my dad. I always wanted to ski backwards like my grandpa but he never taught me how. We would have him over for Christmas eve and he LOVED chocolate.

My grandma (mom's side) passed away at the end of October 2005 unexpectedly from a heart attack. She couldn't afford much but would always make sure to give all of us a Christmas card with a crisp $5.00 bill. She loved pink and was nicknamed pink lady. She would always bring over the best fruit platters for our Christmas Eve party (and any holiday) Her common law husband would always arrive around 3 hours early and she hated that but went along with it.

My adopted grandma passed away a few weeks ago from kidney failure, COPD, emphazima (sp). She use to come over to our house to open presents on christmas but she stopped doing this a few years ago because she had to watch all the football games going on that day. She loved watching the football games, she was definitely an avid football fan for most teams. She loved the Broncos but she loved Brett Favre even more.

I can't believe how hard the last 6 months have been on us and the holidays this year are just not special to us. My family cannot get into the holiday spirit but we are trying hard to. I miss them all so much.

 

[CharityLynn]

My Step-father passed away almost 4 years ago he was only 43, it wa sa freak on the job accident.

I miss him so very much. My son who was only 2 at the time of his death still talks about his "papa honey" My daughter unfortunately never got to know him. He also now has 2 more grandchildren with the grand total of 4, yet my son was the only one who knew him.

The story of "papa honey" is pretty funny actually, very sweet.

My son was with my mom and stepdad, my son always called him Papa. well my mom was calling Don (stepdad) for something but he apparently didn't hear her. Finally she yelled HONEY! My son heard it and went to Don and said Papahoney, grabbed him by the hand and took him to my mom. Just about 3 years old, very cute. Papahoney was even put on his tombstone.

 

[KelNottAt]

I miss my paternal grandfather terribly. He died in August 2003. I thought this Christmas would finally the one that’s “OK” without Papa. But now Grandma, his widow, has entered hospice. Her condition, bad enough by itself, is even more depressing in the way she pines for Papa’s care and presence.

 

[4greatboys]

The holidays are hard for me too. Not only did I lose my mom 6 years back but she died Dec 13. So not only do I miss her but Im trying to make Christmas nice for my kids (the 2 littles ones never got to meet their grandma). Then my birthday follows right after Christmas so thats usually a sad time as well.

 

[luvwinnie]

Thank you, Binny!

 

[Cruise04]

My grandmother LOVED Christmas and loved seeing all the grandkids enjoy the season. It was very hard when we lost her in early December - she had gotten all of the Christmas stuff up around Thanksgiving so that made it especially hard. I love looking at the tree and remembering her and the many Christmases that her kids that lived further away would surprise her and come home for Christmas.

My mom loved to bake various cookies and it was fun to do that with her. She loved watching my daughter open her gifts and got so tickled with the excitement that Britt would have. Each Christmas is getting easier but it's still hard. I now bake the cookies she use to make plus some extra ones that I know she loved when I made them.

 

[luvwinnie]

Hugs to everyone.

 

[C.Ann]

My DH passed away in January of this year and this is a story that we would laugh hysterically about - right up until he died - and still makes me laugh when I think about it..

He and I had gone to Maine for a long weekend.. The cottage that we always rented was high on a cliff - overlooking the ocean - with several rocky ledges below.. We were standing there watching some fisherman pull in their lobster traps and my DH was trying to take a picture.. Well - he stepped too close to the edge and fell right over the side of the cliff to one of the rocky ledges below.. I don't know WHAT I was thinking (obviously I WASN'T thinking) because I rushed right over to the edge, looked down below to where he had fallen, and yelled, "Did you BREAK the camera??????"

I'm 100% sure he's still laughing over that one..

Love ya and miss ya, honey.. - "Me"

 

[binny]

Thank you all for sharing your loved ones with us!




I will keep all of you in my prayers this time of year.

Im still mising my dad. He was such a wonderful man. I know he had his faults but to me he was everything a daddy should be.

Im glad my mom is coming here for Christmas this year, although this is her first year of not hosting so Im a little afraid at how she will feel about that. ( thats a whole other post though.)
I think it will be nice for her to relax.

 

[Laura]

My mother died 12 years ago today. Christmas was her favorite time of year, and she always wanted it to be special for all of us. I still miss her.

 

[binny]

Laura

 

[escape]

My DH passed away in January of this year and this is a story that we would laugh hysterically about - right up until he died - and still makes me laugh when I think about it..

He and I had gone to Maine for a long weekend.. The cottage that we always rented was high on a cliff - overlooking the ocean - with several rocky ledges below.. We were standing there watching some fisherman pull in their lobster traps and my DH was trying to take a picture.. Well - he stepped too close to the edge and fell right over the side of the cliff to one of the rocky ledges below.. I don't know WHAT I was thinking (obviously I WASN'T thinking) because I rushed right over to the edge, looked down below to where he had fallen, and yelled, "Did you BREAK the camera??????"

I'm 100% sure he's still laughing over that one..

Love ya and miss ya, honey.. - "Me"

That is too funny! It sounds like a scene right out of a comedy show.

I guess for me, I miss my parents terribly! My mom passed away when I was 18....many years ago, and my father passed away almost 9 years ago after a long battle with cancer and a spinal cord injury (much like Christopher Reeve's injury). Oh, what I would give to spend another day with them. *sigh*

 

[MidgeD79]

My daughter Rebekah died 11/25/86 and my son Michael 8/22/03. Last night I went to a support group for parents who have had a child die. Christmas time is so hard no matter how long its been. We hang Michaels' stocking and fill it with flowers from Santa and take the flowers to the cemetary later in the day. I try not to think about it because I just end up crying.

 

[helenabear]

My mother died 12 years ago today. Christmas was her favorite time of year, and she always wanted it to be special for all of us. I still miss her.

well, that would be the same for me...

Just "visited" her today... I miss her so much still that it hurts

 

[HoneyPooh]

My mom passed away 10 years ago this January. She loved all the holidays but Christmas was special to her. Mom went into the hospital on 12/25 and never came home. I still have the wrapped gift I had bought for her that year that she never got to open. We all miss her very much.

Dad passed away 5 years ago this past October and I still miss hearing him sing along with mom's Christmas tapes. He would make up his own words which frequently did not make any sense at all.

I have a video tape my DH made two Christmases before mom passed away and on the tape her and daddy are wishing me a merry Christmas. My DH plays the tape for me every Christmas day. Some years it makes me smile and some years it makes me cry.

 

[DawnCt1]

My mother died 12 years ago today. Christmas was her favorite time of year, and she always wanted it to be special for all of us. I still miss her.

My mom will be "gone" 10 years in March. Christmas is a tough time without her. She always made fudge, raisin filled cookies, ginger snaps and of course, lots of other stuff but those were the Christmas things that we looked forward to. If I could have but one Christmas wish, it would be to have both of my parents back, even for a few hours. Its amazing how quickly the time has flown. Sometimes it seems like "yesterday".

 

[allie&mattsmom]

It will be three years in January that we unexpectedly lost my dad. Here one day, in a coma and gone six days later. He was 69 and just signed papers to sell his business and finally have some much deserved rest & relaxation. He & my mom had all kinds of plans on what they were going to do and where they would travel. The timing was so ironic and I still find myself getting very angry about it. My heart still aches and I'm sick to my stomach while I write this. I don't know if it's the time of the year or what, but I'm more depressed about his death than usual. I know he's still with us though, just not in the physical sense.