Gravesites

[Simba's Mom]

Our son is buried in a cemetery about 2500 miles from where we live now, so I only visit once or twice a year when I go back to visit family. At the time of his death, we lived in Central Massachusetts, so that's where he is. Kind of hard to get there from Texas, but if I lived closer, I'd probably visit more, even though it's been over 30 years. My father was cremated and has no burial place-I kind of wish he did. We're close to Mexico now, and here they celebrate "The Day of the Dead", November 1, where they honor deceased family and friends and usually visit the cemeteries.

 

[Cannot_Wait_4Disney]

It is an individual preferance. I do think it is crummy when some funeral homes to play with the living family members to buy a casket with more "room" for the deceased or more "comfortable or appealing "inside . Or a super duper holy grail of urns. Come on now!

Everything I need to know about urns and cups was in Indiana Jones and the last crusade.

 

[crjack]

I usually visit my mom's grave weekly but it's only a few miles away and I bring my dad. His long term memory is better than his short term so if the weather is nice it's a quiet place for us to visit and walk. It's a lovely cemetery with a small pond and they recently started displaying some local sculptors work in an area that doesn't have any headstones.

We have visited a number of cemeteries here in MA and when visiting other cities. I also find them to be fascinating and love to learn about traditions and local history any where I can.

 

[DebbieB]

I go to my parents several times a year to leave flowers, they are in an indoor mausoleum. My dad died in 1993 and my mom in 2005. It was always important to her to leave flowers for my dad on holidays and his birthday, so I kept it up after she died. My grandparents are in the same cemetery outside, I leave flowers on Memorial Day and Christmas.

 

[pryncess527]

It is rare, but I have been drawn to my father's gravesite a handful of times in the last 20 years. I don't think i would struggle if he did not have a gravesite, but there have been moments where it seemed like my car just steered itself there and i'd spend some quiet moments in reflection where he and my grandmother are buried.

 

[ImDMous]

My grandparents are intered about half an hour away, I haven't been since their funerals.

My dad was cremated and his ashes are in my bookcase so I guess I visit him frequently, although I don't really think about it.

 

[SMD]

Both of my parents donated their bodies to science, so no funeral, burial. Rest of family(except 1 who is buried in the cemetery across the street from my house) are buried in a family plot about 20 minutes away.
I don't visit, they are not there, only their "vessels".
I used to get slack for not putting flowers on the graves because my cousins would go do it, I told them considering they never went to see if do things for my grandparents much less spend time when they were alive, so they can't kiss up to them now.
The last time I went to the plot was a couple years ago to scatter some of my mom's ashes.

My lives ones are around, just not in a physical sense.

The cemetery across the street is a good sizes one even has a pet cemetery in it.

It is an individual preferance. I do think it is crummy when some funeral homes to play with the living family members to buy a casket with more "room" for the deceased or more "comfortable or appealing "inside . Or a super duper holy grail of urns. Come on now!

My grandparents had their ashes buried at sea, but then my mother wanted someplace to visit, so she bought a small plot. I've been, usually when I'm at the cemetery anyway for another funeral I'll stop by and leave flowers if I have any. I have at least 10 other relatives there, including my other grandparents. I'm too cheap to pay for delivery, so if someone says we should put flowers out for someone I'll go by and leave some. One of my cousins constantly pays for arrangements to be left at my aunt's plot, but I don't think she's ever actually been back since the funeral more than 10 years ago.

We didn't have to pay for urns for my grandparents, but I recently bought one and I was surprised by the cost. And, they also sell replicas of the urns so if you bury it you can have one. I felt like it was being sealed away in a wall and I didn't really need it to look fancy or even know what it was going to look like. But someone had to make the arrangements so I sucked it up and went to the urn showroom. They also offered added fees for environmentally friendly burials. I have no idea what that could be. Digging a hole in the ground without a metal or lacquered casket, like they used to do?

 

[lucas]

My brother always does but I have never gone back. I feel really guilty about it, too. It is just something I am avoiding and really don't want to do.

 

[BlueStarryHat]

It is an individual preferance. I do think it is crummy when some funeral homes to play with the living family members to buy a casket with more "room" for the deceased or more "comfortable or appealing "inside . Or a super duper holy grail of urns. Come on now!

When my Mom died, we went and looked at the urns (we needed two as we were dividing her ashes between us), but nothing captured her personality. I asked the funeral director if I could make her vessels, and to his credit he didn't try the hard sell. He was actually a bit surprised and said that nobody had ever requested that before. I bought two nice unfinished hinged wood boxes, stained them, and then painted some yellow roses (her favorite flower) on top.

She didn't have a funeral, only a viewing (which was what she wanted), and a week later we got the ashes back in the boxes, glued shut. My Dad has been gone 30 years this November and was buried, not cremated. I never go to the cemetery, not because I didn't love him so much, because I did. It's just not something I want to do. Perhaps I should go this year, but I probably won't. It's a shame because having my Mom's ashes close by give me great comfort. I wish now we would have chosen cremation-he died suddenly, killed by a drunk driver, and we were all so shocked that when one of my great-aunts said there's a space in the family plot we just said that would be fine, not thinking of the future.

 

[STLDisney_Freak]

I visit my grandma and grandpa at Jefferson Barracks National Cemetery to place flowers on their graves for the military holidays. My grandma used to do it for many years for grandpa and now that she is gone as well it is just something that I have kept doing for both of them. It gives me a place to "talk" to them even if they probably don't know what I am saying or can hear me.

 

[Lilacs4Me]

The last time I went to "visit" my grandfather and my aunt (and now my grandmother, although she was still alive at the time), it was just before dusk in the summer, so maybe around 7:30-8pm? It was so quiet and peaceful, and then all the sudden a bee started to buzz around my head. It freaked me out not because it was a bee, but because I FELT something - probably my grandfather, who would have thought it was hilarious.

I got into my car so fast and drove away and didn't go back until the day we buried my grandmother next to him in 2014. During her funeral, as soon as they started to lower her in, a HUGE, LONG, COOL whistling gust of wind started to blow. It lasted at least a minute, and we had to literally hang onto our papers/hats/chairs/etc because it was so strong. On a completely sunny afternoon in August. Then the wind went away and it was completely calm again.

I have driven past the cemetery many times and can see their plots from the road (tiny cemetery in a little town) so I think about them always, but I have not gone in again by myself.

 

[blana]

My mother passed away almost 9 years ago. When I visit my dad, I generally go to the graveside at least once during the visit to "speak" with Momma. If I get a chance to go by myself, I sit at the grave and talk to her. If I have Daddy or the kids with me, I just touch the headstone. My dad's parents are buried right beside her, so I will stop at their headstone as well. I don't get to my other grandparents' gravesite as often, but I try to make it out once every 2 or so years.

 

[scrhsa]

My Dad passed away from cancer a little over 7 yrs ago. His grave is about 20 minutes away and I go monthly-ish. I usually don't stay too long..its tough. I change the flowers out and clean up around the marker. My husband has not been to the grave site at all. He doesn't handle an overload of emotions well at all.

I have to laugh at two funny coinidences that happened while there. With in the first couple of months after he was buried, I was there with my Mom and sister. I made a joke that he really wouldn't have found funny AT ALL. Out of nowhere a huge, loud gust of wind came up and nearly knocked us over. No wind before or after. I just laughed and said Ok Dad...no more jokes And just recently I was there and I just couldn't hold it in and was beginning to blubber like a baby, again, another gust of wind came up and blew a napkin/kleenex into my chest. Laughed again and said Thanks for the tissue Dad

 

[antmaril]

I'm sorry for your loss

Thank you.

 

[AuntieMe3]

Every loved one who has passed has been cremated so I have no idea what I would do if someone was buried. I actually have my grandma and grandpa sitting on a shelf in my living room, which I know some people think is weird. I don't think I would spend time there though, but I also have a different attitude towards death and dying from what I can tell with the way others I know deal with the loss off a loved one.

My friend visits her mother very often and sometimes spends hours there, it brings her comfort.

 

[DawnM]

My parents must not want me visiting because they were gifted gravesite in Iowa and they have made arrangements to be shipped to Iowa for burial. My father's grandfather and that generation of that family are there, but no one in the family has lived in Iowa since around 1925!

I keep telling them that it would be less expensive to just buy new plots and not ship their bodies, but they are insistent.

And my mother is honestly not well, so I am not sure it will be that much longer before I will be faced with the entire thing.

Now, my mother is from South Carolina originally, although she hasn't lived there for 68 years, but her family is still there. They currently live in Arizona. She wants me to have a memorial in Arizona, have me go to intern her in Iowa, and then have another full funeral in South Carolina with her relatives.

Um, no Mom, I can't do all of that. I will go to Arizona to help Dad with the arrangements at the funeral home, go through your stuff, etc....., and I may attend the funeral in SC, but I am NOT going to IOWA! I know NO ONE IN IOWA!!!!!!

 

[RedAngie]

I go visit my parents' graves about 6 times a year. On or around Easter, Mother's Day, Father's Day, their birthdays (Mom- September, Dad-November) and Christmas. Perhaps one or two other times a year also.

Both sets of grandparents and many other relatives are in another cemetery. I visit there around Christmas, but whose graves I visit depend on the weather, how much time I have, etc.

 

[Disney Doll]

Mom and both in laws are buried across the street so I go fairly frequently.

 

[Thing 1]

Both of my parents are in our church cemetery. We attend church there weekly so we are there on a frequent and regular basis. Like most families there we try to keep flowers on the grave. Our cemetery is a favorite place to walk and it's really just part of our life to be there frequently. My parents grave is right at the entrance so we have just gotten used to seeing it often.

 

[ols386]

My mom passed in 1992 and dad passed in 2009. Only time I visit their grave sites is around Memorial Day, to place flowers on my parent's headstones and some of my aunts and uncles who I was close to.