Grand Gatherings...? I give up!

[crisi]

I'll tell you what we are doing.

My sister and her husband and two toddlers, plus my mother and father, are joining my DH and my two elementary school kids in October. My other sister may but probably won't show up along with her fiancee who may or may not show up with or without her.

We have two two bedrooms at the BW. My sister and her family will share one with my mom and dad. My family will be in the other. If my lost sister shows (she has some major issues - alcoholism, problems holding a job) she can have the studio part of our two bedroom (a lockoff, so we can seperate her), and my kids will have the living room.

Everyone is responsible for getting to the resort on their own. Everyone is responsible for getting home. I'm providing rooms.

We have one dinner scheduled all together the night we arrive. We have one scheduled together two nights later. The kids are doing a Pirate cruise, and we have a character meal scheduled. My mother insists on sitting for us one night, so my sister and her husband are going out for a romantic meal at one restaurant, DH and I at a different restaurant (it isn't romantic to have your sister and brother in law along). She really wants two nights, but two romantic dinners in a week is a little much - the four of us are talking about maybe doing a monorail bar hop or something.

We are in the process of sketching out which park each family will tentatively be at. There will likely be some swapping of children. There are a few attractions I'm going to really recommend we fit in as some sort of family experience before splitting off. I think everyone should watch the little kids ride Dumbo when we first arrive in the MK - in fact I think we will do one MK morning dedicated to watching small children enjoy Fantasyland. The Safari at the AK is another one that I think is best shared and will be enjoyed by everyone - and Festival of the Lion King. Enjoying the West side of Future World is a good intergenerational activity. But I don't really care if people stand around while me and my kids ride Space Mountain (my son and I are going to be the only likely SM riders), nor do I really care to ride IASM more than once or accompany toddlers home for naps. Most of us are early risers (or willing to be such for a Disney trip), so the together time is mornings and meals.

Anyway, best wishes. Keep your expectations reasonable. Make a list of a FEW things you'll be disappointed if they don't happen, encourage others to do the same, and work together to make sure those lists get done.

 

[JCW]

Sorry to hear of your issues, unfortunately, it seems all families are the same

Without getting into the gory details of our family trip two years ago, here is what we learned from our family trip planning experience.

DH and I now decide when WE are going to WDW and how many points WE will need for that trip. Then, we let our families know our plans and tell them what points we have left (and what room type and # of days it will get them). Then, whoever confirms first that they are going, gets what's left of our points. Everyone else is then on their own for their rooms (they pay cash).

No longer will we try to get everyone in agreement on when we should all take the trip and THEN plan the trip. What a nightmare that turned out to be.

For our trip this past December, everyone was invited, but as it turned out, just DH and I went.

However, SIL and my parents are now asking when OUR next trip will be, so they can plan accordingly. At least they are all quick learners

 

[Jeremy&Susan]

Sorry to hear of your issues, unfortunately, it seems all families are the same

Without getting into the gory details of our family trip two years ago, here is what we learned from our family trip planning experience.

DH and I now decide when WE are going to WDW and how many points WE will need for that trip. Then, we let our families know our plans and tell them what points we have left (and what room type and # of days it will get them). Then, whoever confirms first that they are going, gets what's left of our points. Everyone else is then on their own for their rooms (they pay cash).

No longer will we try to get everyone in agreement on when we should all take the trip and THEN plan the trip. What a nightmare that turned out to be.

For our trip this past December, everyone was invited, but as it turned out, just DH and I went.

However, SIL and my parents are now asking when OUR next trip will be, so they can plan accordingly. At least they are all quick learners

I like that approach, we may start to use that. Leaving family up to their own in regard to planning a trip is a big mistake.

Last year we planned a family gathering and 3 months out my family backed out saying they couldnt afford it. Amazingly they bought a 40 foot camper the month after they cancelled due to finances.
This past year again the offer went out and the in-law side either couldn't afford it or kept wanting to go at peek season, when we didn't have enough points to cover everyone.

Form now on, "This is when we are going, do you want to join us?". I like that approach.

 

[BroganMc]

Form now on, "This is when we are going, do you want to join us?". I like that approach.

Believe it or not, that has been my approach up till this one trip. I even started out doing that. Simply an offer to use points for their rooms (for weekdays with the caveat we couldn't afford Fri/Sat nights) to join us in October next year.

At first one brother responded with a rejection since it only works for weekends for him. So I figured he was out. (They rarely join us anyway and then usually just at the last minute.)

The other brother was all excited about it and immediately accepted. Got everyone all worked up and excited. But then SIL's job threw the wrench in the works. I figured, too bad, so sad, maybe next year.

But before I could respond, it evolved into SIL1 trying to convince everyone in the family that we could do a Disney beach vacation next summer instead (she discovered DVC had HHI and VB as well). SIL2 chimed in expressing interest and suddenly my initial October offer was turned into something I neither authorized nor even considered. (Dad and I were talking about a Jersey/Atlantic trip or one to Europe next summer.)

It is a good warning about where the bounderies should be in DVC contracts. I'm still kinda stunned that anyone thought they could answer my invitation with a perversion into something else rather than a simple yes or no. It was downright rude.

FWIW, I have taken other folks down before, even to our DVC. This is the first time something like this has happened. Most of my family and friends accept when they can and decline when they can't. No one has ever asked me (or in this case commanded me) to change my plans to suit them.

I'm backing off now. Let the subject rest for a while. My plans will revolve around my sister's family and my dad. What they want to do is what I'll do. I'll probably end up hanging out with them the most anyway. I'm just kicking myself for ever entertaining the idea of a summer trip just to please my excitable brother. I really don't want to go that time of year. Besides with Fall & Spring in Disney, I won't be able to do anything different next year.

 

[dianeschlicht]

Another one here who just says WHEN we are going and WHEN anyone who wants to go along must let us know by. If we don't hear from anyone, we go with just the two of us or invite other friends. It is NEVER "when can you go", but "we are going, do you want to join us". The dates are up to us, and the rest have to decide if they can deal with it or not. Now, with the grandkids and our own adult children, we do accommodate a bit, and next January DH's brother and his wife and son will be joining us. We did plan specific dates that worked for them, but they have traveled with us before, and we know it will work out well. As for the rest of the family....they don't "get it", so we don't ask them.