Grammar help

[nkjzmom]

Is this sentence correct?

"We are very excited to provide you information that we feel is important to the community and inform you on what’s going on with the parks and the recreation in the City of ..."

Or should it read "inform you of"? I think of sounds more correct.

 

[mickeyboat]

"We are very excited to provide you with information we feel is important to the community, and to inform you about what’s going on with the parks and the recreation in the City of ..."

This is how I would write it.


Denae

 

[nkjzmom]

Thanks Denae...I'm trying to edit it for a friend and after I've looked at it so long I start to doubt myself!

 

[damo]

I would write, "We are very excited to provide important community information about what is going on with the Parks and Recreation in the City of ..

 

[MinnieM3]

I would have added the "to" before inform also!

 

[Miss Jasmine]

I would write, "We are very excited to provide important community information about what is going on with the Parks and Recreation in the City of ..

I agree. The other sentence is too wordy.

 

[RadioNate]

I would write, "We are very excited to provide important community information about what is going on with the Parks and Recreation in the City of ..

I'd go with this too. The other is way to wordy and has too many unnecessary phrases.

 

[nkjzmom]

This whole letter is wordy and has too many unnecessary phrases!! And too many "that"s.

Thanks for the suggestions...I really want to put the whole letter up and let you guys do the work for me but then I'd have to split my paycheck!!!

 

[Miss Jasmine]

This whole letter is wordy and has too many unnecessary phrases!! And too many "that"s.

Blech. Isn't proofing and editing fun??!!??!!

 

[nkjzmom]

Since it is a letter I don't want to rip it apart and remove this man's "personality" from it so that makes it difficult.

Another friend of mine wrote an 800 word article for a Parks and Rec. magazine only to find out they made a mistake and meant to ask her for 400 words! She asked me to cut it in half. That night was a long one.