Graduation party dilemma....

[Styx Fan]

If I wasn't one of the hosting families, I would love to have them on the same day. As another poster said, only tying up one Saturday rather than 2.

Just a thought, but maybe SIL didn't want a joint party because her style of having a party is different than sisters. I have a neighbor with a child graduating the same year as my son. She has talked about having a joint party for the kids since we are next door. This just wouldn't work for us. Love them to death, but our ideas of a party are pretty different and our friends and families would not be real compatible.

Could the OP's situation be similar? Even if it is, SIL should have just be up front about her intentions. Unless the plans of the grad changed, of course.

 

[Kellydelly]

Well, you get free lunch and dinner that day, and probably cake twice so I don't think I would get upset about it. It isn't your problem that the SIL is a selfish idiot who likes to rain on other people's parades . Just go to both and stay out of any crossfire (if there is any) between the two hosts.

 

[shortbun]

I think you have to stay out of it and attend both parties to celebrate both nephews. You just can not punish one kid for the actions of his mother. Go right at noon and leave in time to get to the 3pm party on time. This is IF you are invited to the 2nd party. your sil is a piece of work, eh? Good luck and really stay out of it; listen to your sister if she needs you but don't fuel her fire, kwim?

 

[kimmyann]

OP here, I did get the invitation from my SIL in the mail today. I think we will just show up around 2ish, stay for about an hour then head over to my sisters party. This prevents me from having to stay at both for an extended period of time or from driving back & forth in between. I plan to stay out of it, I know my sister is upset, but there is nothing I can do about it. Btw, this is the same SIL & brother who decided to get married on my other sisters anniversary...

 

[smitch425]

OP here, I did get the invitation from my SIL in the mail today. I think we will just show up around 2ish, stay for about an hour then head over to my sisters party. This prevents me from having to stay at both for an extended period of time or from driving back & forth in between. I plan to stay out of it, I know my sister is upset, but there is nothing I can do about it. Btw, this is the same SIL & brother who decided to get married on my other sisters anniversary...

Sounds like a good plan. My sister got married this past Saturday and it was our aunt's anniversary. Oddly enough, my sister got engaged on the same aunt's birthday and the reception was held in the same venue as our aunt's reception. My sister didn't really know any of that until later, though, as she was only 2 when my aunt and uncle got married.

Have a great time celebrating with your nephews.

 

[sk!mom]

I assume that since they are graduating from the same school, they live in the same area. If that's the case then I do not see a problem at all. In fact, the sil's actions seem respectful- she planned her son's party for noon so it won't conflict with a 3:00 party.

My local high schools had graduation last weekend. There were so many conflicting parties, I know people who pretty much just did drivebys. Stopping briefly at several parties to offer congrats and drop off a gift before moving on.

Since you posted this, I assume that there is history and you kind of seem to want to " make a deal." I wouldn't. I would just go to both parties.

Interesting to me that anyone would think that they "own" grad day. I mean come on, your kid and all their friends are graduating. Does only the first to plan a party get to have one?

 

[ksjayhawks]

Sounds like her original plans for grad party/farewell party at the end of the summer changed. So she is having her ds's grad party now when the other grad parties are. Since a friend is hosting it, she probably had to go with when friend was available.

She is having hers at noon, other nephew's is at 3. This allows plenty of time for family members to attend both parties. If they are like the ones around here and that we have experienced in other areas, they are open house, come and go type parties anyway. Rarely anyone comes and stays the whole time. So, sister and family could even run by for 30 minutes at noon and still be home in tiime to do the final prep for her party at 3. (We did that last year for ds's friends parties on the same day. Had everything ready to go except last minute prep, hit two parties for 15 minutes each so gone a total of 1 hour and still had our party up and ready to go.)

I say go and enjoy both parties. Don't get drawn into any conversations about the fact that sil had her party on the same day, etc, other than to say "Yes, isn't it great that family is able to go to both on the same day and celebrate with each nephew!"

 

[Nancyg56]

Well, you get free lunch and dinner that day, and probably cake twice so I don't think I would get upset about it. It isn't your problem that the SIL is a selfish idiot who likes to rain on other people's parades . Just go to both and stay out of any crossfire (if there is any) between the two hosts.

I thought that I was the only one who saw that little detail as a plus!

I agree that the SIL is pretty thoughtless at best but I would stay out of it.

OP here, I did get the invitation from my SIL in the mail today. I think we will just show up around 2ish, stay for about an hour then head over to my sisters party. This prevents me from having to stay at both for an extended period of time or from driving back & forth in between. I plan to stay out of it, I know my sister is upset, but there is nothing I can do about it. Btw, this is the same SIL & brother who decided to get married on my other sisters anniversary...

Good plan! I think your brother and sil have boundary issues, BTW.

 

[sparklynails23]

I'm betting the nephew didn't want to have a party with the other nephew. Do they run in the same circles and have the same friends? Someone shouldn't have to feel uncomfortable at their own graduation party, but let's blame the SIL. It's more dramatic.

 

[kimmyann]

I assume that since they are graduating from the same school, they live in the same area. If that's the case then I do not see a problem at all. In fact, the sil's actions seem respectful- she planned her son's party for noon so it won't conflict with a 3:00 party.

My local high schools had graduation last weekend. There were so many conflicting parties, I know people who pretty much just did drivebys. Stopping briefly at several parties to offer congrats and drop off a gift before moving on.

Since you posted this, I assume that there is history and you kind of seem to want to " make a deal." I wouldn't. I would just go to both parties.

Interesting to me that anyone would think that they "own" grad day. I mean come on, your kid and all their friends are graduating. Does only the first to plan a party get to have one?

If I wanted to "make a deal", I would have. I'm trying to NOT do that. Of course no one "owns" a party day. But, it does put some family members in an awkward position when you plan a party the same day as another. Thankfully the times work out & at least the other members who are having the original party at their house are able to stop by too. (I think)

I'm betting the nephew didn't want to have a party with the other nephew. Do they run in the same circles and have the same friends? Someone shouldn't have to feel uncomfortable at their own graduation party, but let's blame the SIL. It's more dramatic.

I'm trying to prevent drama.

 

[Minnesota!]

I agree, but there is absolutely nothing wrong with that, either.

The parties are at 12pm and 3pm. These kids go to the same school, which means the parties are likely being held somewhat near one another. Certainly not out of the realm of possibility that the host of the 3 o'clock party couldn't show up from 12 to 12:30 at the first party, and the host of the 12 o'clock party couldn't show up at 4 or 5 to the second party. It really isn't that big of a deal.

Actually as a family member I see it as a win!!!!

I only tie up 1 Summer Saturday, only have to get dressed up once and they are back to back so no awkward what the heck do we do for 2hours in between!

I go to first nephews party at 1ish eat lunch visit, take a few pictures, leave drive to next party and repeat.

This way I only have to reserve 1 date and get to go to both nephews parties.

I would thank them.

OP here, I did get the invitation from my SIL in the mail today. I think we will just show up around 2ish, stay for about an hour then head over to my sisters party. This prevents me from having to stay at both for an extended period of time or from driving back & forth in between. I plan to stay out of it, I know my sister is upset, but there is nothing I can do about it. Btw, this is the same SIL & brother who decided to get married on my other sisters anniversary...

I don't see anything wrong with getting married on someone's anniversary...

 

[robinb]

The parties are at 12pm and 3pm. These kids go to the same school, which means the parties are likely being held somewhat near one another. Certainly not out of the realm of possibility that the host of the 3 o'clock party couldn't show up from 12 to 12:30 at the first party, and the host of the 12 o'clock party couldn't show up at 4 or 5 to the second party. It really isn't that big of a deal.

I agree, it doesn't seem like a big deal to me. The SIL changed her mind about a party. So what? It's not at the same time as the other nephew's party.

 

[VickiVM]

Is it possible that SIL is inviting a completely different group of people like mostly her son's friends?

My son graduated last week and we weren't going to have a party until one of our good family friends suggested we really should because our friends wanted to celebrate the occassion. We invited both friends/family and then a lot of my son's friends.

In hindsight, I'm glad we had a celebration, but would have planned something completely different for my son and his friends. He was torn between hanging out with his friends during the party and still being a gracious 'honoree' and mingling with family/friends.

Maybe SIL had a change in heart and had no ill intentions of creating friction.

 

[Libby X 3]

It does seem a little strange to have the party the same day but I agree with the others that said win, win for you-only tying up one day and your fed for the day!

 

[moon]

My opinion is that your SIL is a witch.

 

[Brit17]

IMHO, I think what your SIL did was rude ... She knew about your sister's party plans first and then changed her mind to plan a party for the same day? ... Why couldn't she choose a different day? ... And having the party at 12PM vs 3PM doesn't make a big difference to me ... Just seems like she wanted an excuse not to attend your sister's party ... Or maybe even try to pull some guests away from attending your sister's party? ... I can understand if your sister's feeling are hurt ... But the best thing to do is just try to ignore it and just focus on and enjoy the day that she has planned for her son ...