Graduation Party Announcement/Invitation Etiquette

[maggiew]

I have a couple questions regarding graduation announcements/invitations.

My DD is graduating this year and will be getting her graduation announcements this week from the school. I wasn't sure about the proper etiquette of sending these out. We are having a party the week after the graduation ceremony. We have a lot of family from out of town coming for the party. I have already told most of the people the date so they could make arrangements. But I haven't sent any formal invitations yet. I was planning on putting an invitation inside the same envelope as the graduation announcements. Since many are out of town, I wanted to send this out ASAP. But now I am not sure if it is improper to send out the graduation announcement BEFORE the actual ceremony?? Is it usually sent after the ceremony? What should I do in this case? I could send out the invitation separately to the out of town guests ASAP and then send the announcements afterwards. It is only about 25 announcements, so it wouldn't be so many extra stamps. I plan to send the intown friends, family invitations about 2-3 weeks before the party. Does that sound ok?

In addition, I was going to write "No present necessary" at the bottom of the invitation. I don't want people to not show up to the party because they can't or don't want to give a present. We just want to celebrate with them. Would this be tacky?? I was going to write "No present necessary, we just want your presence" but it wouldn't fit on the invitation without looking stupid. What is your opinion? Any better way to phrase it?

Thanks,
Maggie

 

[4 Ears]

I know where you are coming from.
I googled it and it said for announcements you send out the day before or the day of (graduation announcements).
I just can not wait that long. DS did not want "a party" so we are having an "open house"
I am not sure about the etiquette thing either as far as putting the invitation in the announcement but I am going to do it anyway

We have had to change the date of the open house, thank goodness I did not send them out yet. Now here's hoping they will redo them with the new or correct date on them.

Hope I have helped even though I am most likely going against etiquette

 

[hffmnheidi]

I would send out the announcement before the ceremony, so everyone knows the school/the date/ect...someone may be saving them to make a scrapbook or something of the sort.

I would also include the invitation at the same time and save on the cost of stamps for out of town relatives. As for the gift thing, I would leave it off and let everyone make their own decision to bring a gift or simply a card. Of course, if anyone calls you to ask about it, you can tell them then.

 

[pyrxtc]

Send them out when you think you should. DO not mention "present" anywhere on them. if anyone has a question then they will call you. "no present necessary" sort of implies that you expect presents but they are not necessary.

 

[maggiew]

Send them out when you think you should. DO not mention "present" anywhere on them. if anyone has a question then they will call you. "no present necessary" sort of implies that you expect presents but they are not necessary.

Thank you for your interpretation. That is totally the opposite of what I intend, so if that is what people might think, I will just forget writing anything.

Its just that I have read so many threads on here from people saying, "I have 6 graduation parties and weddings, etc. I don't want to go because I can't afford a gift." I didn't want people to feel that way. We are inviting people because we want to celebrate with them, not because they might bring a gift!

Some of the family is flying up from Florida! So I know that is an expense in itself. So I didn't want them to feel burdened with having to buy a gift too. (Their coming to the party is their choice, I did not expect anyone to travel so far for a graduation party.)

Maggie

 

[scrappyjae]

I am sending my DS's announcements out the beginning of May. We have always done so around here and that is what we did for mine years ago. I just booked the date for his party yesterday, so I was also thinking of putting the party invites in the announcements as well. Or maybe save the date cards...haven't decided yet.

 

[4 Ears]

Oh good, sounds like even though I am not following etiquette, I am going by majority wins, LOL

Just got back from putting the updated date on them, now DS and I have lots to do!

 

[scrappyjae]

I agree, just doing as my Mom tells me as she advised me yesterday that I needed to get moving on getting them addressed. As I tell my kids, even though I am an adult, my Mom still tells me what to do.

 

[lynn46356]

We have had two graduation open houses! Lots of fun but also a lot of work. I did the opposite. I ordered the minimal amount of annoucements because we were only allowed 2 free tickets to attend our sons' graduation and any additional attendee were at a cost of $10 or $12 each (I think we took about 10 people to each). Only immediate family got the actual announcement of the graduation and the remainder got the actual open house invitation. Both were sent out approximately one month prior to the open house. Hope that helps. Happy Planning!

 

[maggiew]

So what does a graduation announcement mean to you? To me, its only announcing the graduation. I would only expect to be invited to the ceremony if I was offered a ticket?? We only get a few tickets and no option for extras - even at a cost.

I've gotten many announcements for my cousins' kids and I never imagined it was an invitation to the ceremony.

So if I send out these announcements will people expect to go to the ceremony? I think I will probably include the party invitation with the announcement, and the party is obviously a different date than the ceremony.

Maggie

 

[MrsPete]

So what does a graduation announcement mean to you? To me, its only announcing the graduation . . . I've gotten many announcements for my cousins' kids and I never imagined it was an invitation to the ceremony.

This is the key -- are you announcing the event or inviting people to it?

Most schools -- around here anyway -- sell announcements to the students. They read "The class of 2010 announces its graduation". It does not extend an invitation to the person to attend the ceremony . . . but people tend to interpret it as an invitation. It does give the time and place, which suggests that it's inviting the recipient, but it doesn't mention tickets. It's a poorly done thing, in my opinion.

What do you anticipate people will do when they receive these in the mail?

If you expect that they'll attend the graduation ceremony, I'd suggest that you mail them about a month ahead of time along with a small, hand-written note saying, "We do so hope to see you at the ceremony!" ("Or we look forward to seeing you", if you know they plan to attend; or "If you can attend, please call us -- we meet you to give you a ticket"). This removes any ambiguity from the announcement/invitation -- the person knows that he's welcome to attend.

On the other hand, if you're not expecting people to attend the ceremony, or if only allowed a few tickets and you cannot invite people . . . I'd suggest that you follow the time-honored ettiquette rules and mail the announcements on the day of the event. This removes all possibility that Great-aunt Rose, whom you never thought would attend, will arrive at the door and be insulted when she isn't admitted without a ticket.

And regardless, the Open House invitations will probably be much more welcome than the ceremony announcements. People like to come to your house and eat good food. They don't tend to like sitting through long graduation ceremonies. There's no ambiguity with this invitation -- you're clearly inviting people.

I wouldn't mention gifts one way or the other.

 

[NotUrsula]

Properly formatted graduation announcements only give the date and the name/location of the school, NOT the time and place of the ceremony.
They are normally mailed to arrive after the date of the ceremony, so as to make it clear that the recipient is NOT expected to attend an event that has already happened. (Besides which, what happens if Jr. blows a couple of finals? You don't want to count too many chickens before they hatch.)

If you want to send an announcement WITH an invitation (in the nature of a souvenir), than that is fine, but if the event they are invited to is not the graduation ceremony, then you need to include a note to make it clear that you are only sending the announcement as a keepsake; otherwise probably 9 out of 10 people who got one in advance of the event would logically assume that they were invited to the ceremony.

 

[MrsPete]

Properly formatted graduation announcements only give the date and the name/location of the school, NOT the time and place of the ceremony.
They are normally mailed to arrive after the date of the ceremony, so as to make it clear that the recipient is NOT expected to attend an event that has already happened. (Besides which, what happens if Jr. blows a couple of finals? You don't want to count too many chickens before they hatch.)

If you want to send an announcement WITH an invitation (in the nature of a souvenir), than that is fine, but if the event they are invited to is not the graduation ceremony, then you need to include a note to make it clear that you are only sending the announcement as a keepsake; otherwise probably 9 out of 10 people who got one in advance of the event would logically assume that they were invited to the ceremony.

You're right that an announcement SHOULD only include the aforementioned information . . . but that seems to have been lost upon today's printers. And I don't think many schools do announcements AND invitations.

How do you politely say, "Here's your announcement . . . now please don't show up?" I guess you could include a hand-written note: "Grandma, we want you to know about Tommy's graduation, but we're only allowed two tickets to the ceremony itself. We're having a barbeque in his honor afterward at our house, and we hope you can come."

 

[tommya60]

Our schools have a limited number of tickets per graduate, the annoucements say something like ticket required to attend. It's common around here, so no one really expects to go to the actual ceremony without a call with specifics.

As for the gifts, I usually say "Your presence is a wonderful gift, we expect no other". Makes the no gift message clear in a nice way.

 

[KCMiller]

An announcement card is just that - it's to announce that something has taken place (like a birth announcement - it's not an invitation to witness the birth, or an invitation to a party, it's just a nice way of letting people know about your happy event). Announcements are sent AFTER the event happens. They are not solicitations for gifts, although some people see them as such. Adding a 'no presents, please' to an announcement would imply that presents are customary and expected as a rule when an announcement is sent, which is incorrect.

An invitation is just that - a notice sent to someone inviting them to attend an event. In this case, a graduation, whether it's the actual graduation ceremony or a party given in honor of the graduate. IT is perfectly appropriate to indicate 'no presents, please' on an invitation.

KC