Graduation Dilemma - Suggestions needed!

[cap83]

My niece and nephew are both graduating HS on the same night/time. The graduations are in 2 different locations. Since I obviously can't be at both, how do I choose which one to attend??

 

[nw6675]

This might sound terrible, but I would not go to either. It sounds like you are close to both and you feel bad about not attending. Perhaps one wouldn't care as much about who was there so you go to the other.

I'm probably not much help because I never would have invited an aunt or uncle- only parents and grandparents, but every family is different.

You could come up with something special for each of then like a 1:1 nice lunch or dinner or fun activity to celebrate with the one(s) you don't go to.

 

[Disneylover99]

You can’t choose……A perfect excuse to skip both.
But all graduations are painful to sit through and boring to me.

 

[bluezy]

I was also going to say I wouldn't go to either one. We didn't invite anyone outside of our immediate family to our kids' graduations. I wouldn't want to put anyone through that torture.

But on a more serious note, will one of them have more family members attending than the other? If so, I'd go to the one with fewer attendees. Other than that, I'd pick the one that's more convenient logistically (closer to home, better seating, etc.).

Side note: Today I'm thankful that none of my nieces or nephews invited me to their graduations.

 

[jdb in AZ]

We just received an announcement for a nephew, post-marked the day of the ceremony. So glad he didn't invite us.

 

[easyas123]

You can’t choose……A perfect excuse to skip both.
But all graduations are painful to sit through and boring to me.

My thoughts exactly!

 

[AppleDumpling]

But on a more serious note, will one of them have more family members attending than the other? If so, I'd go to the one with fewer attendees. Other than that, I'd pick the one that's more convenient logistically (closer to home, better seating, etc.).

This was my first thought. Many HS graduations, at least around here, have limited seating and the grads are given a certain number of tickets. There often isn’t room for extended family, and naturally parents and siblings, then grandparents, should get priority. But if one of them has more guests, perhaps other aunts/uncles or grandparents from the other side, I’d go to the other one to balance it out. Or, skip both ceremonies, and attend the parties only (assuming you’re invited).

 

[jalapeno_pretzel]

Our HS graduations are limited to something like 5-6 tickets per graduating kid. Are you sure you are even able to go to either of them?

 

[nw6675]

Our HS graduations are limited to something like 5-6 tickets per graduating kid. Are you sure you are even able to go to either of them?

I already responded, but thought the same - is it an actual invitation to attend or maybe even just the announcement. Hard to tell without knowing the closeness of the relationship in my opinion.

 

[HopperFan]

OP ~ I will assume they are actual INVITATIONS and not ANNOUNCEMENTS, I think the best way to avoid ANY kind of hurt feelings or conflicts with kids or parents ... don't go to either one. No matter what people will say to you, after the fact if you go to only one then ... more will likely be said. Hopefully if they are both doing celebration events they coordinated them to not conflict, but if they do and are close enough I'd just make an short appearance at both. If they aren't close, I'd not go to either and just have a nice personal note, and whatever you traditionally gift awaiting at each home.

Our HS graduations are limited to something like 5-6 tickets per graduating kid. Are you sure you are even able to go to either of them?

For as long as I can remember we get 6 tickets, no more. The fancy announcements they want you to buy are just that, announcement. They won't get you in to graduation. 6 was perfect just enough for our family and one set of grandparents. Mine always came. In-laws had so many grandkids they were perfectly fine not going and just attending a family celebration.

 

[kymom99]

we invited my sister and brother to my sons graduation. He only had one grandparent living and she wasn’t physically able to attend. His cousin and his sisters also came. I appreciate that they did because I would have been sad for him to only have us parents there for him.

As a PP suggested, is there one who has less family to represent them? Maybe attend that one.

 

[HopperFan]

we invited my sister and brother to my sons graduation. He only had one grandparent living and she wasn’t physically able to attend. His cousin and his sisters also came. I appreciate that they did because I would have been sad for him to only have us parents there for him.

As a PP suggested, is there one who has less family to represent them? Maybe attend that one.

This would be a wonderful reasoning to choose one, and it could easily be explained to the other family that so and so isn't as lucky as they are to have so much family around.

 

[TheIncredibles!]

I don't know many people that want to be at graduation myself, just skip both. Personally when I started medical cannabis my last two kid's graduations were shockingly more tolerable.

 

[verleniahall]

This was my first thought. Many HS graduations, at least around here, have limited seating and the grads are given a certain number of tickets. There often isn’t room for extended family, and naturally parents and siblings, then grandparents, should get priority. But if one of them has more guests, perhaps other aunts/uncles or grandparents from the other side, I’d go to the other one to balance it out. Or, skip both ceremonies, and attend the parties only (assuming you’re invited).

Where d o you live? graduation here is open to the community and everyone goes. I have never heard of tickets being used for a gradutation - that would limit the amount of people able to attend

 

[luvnwdwgal]

We probably sent about 100 announcements out along with the party invite. It’s pretty well known that you’re not actually invited to the graduation unless they personally ask you.

 

[QueenIsabella]

I don't know many people that want to be at graduation myself, just skip both. Personally when I started medical cannabis my last two kid's graduations were shockingly more tolerable.

Maybe I should try that...my youngest graduates HS next year, he's already considering skipping the ceremony, and we've already said it's okay. He's doing dual enrollment, and only needs one HS class (English 4), so will be spending his time at the college, anyway. He's very "over" HS. And I hate those events, although I usually go. (I say usually because, when my oldest graduated HS, I was literally in urgent care because my youngest had strep throat.)

To the OP, I would skip them both, unless there's an obvious reason to pick one--as others have stated, if one has fewer family members to support. Attend any parties, send a nice card with a gift if you're so inclined, let them know you're proud of them.

 

[greeneyedchick]

Where d o you live? graduation here is open to the community and everyone goes. I have never heard of tickets being used for a gradutation - that would limit the amount of people able to attend

My graduation limited it 2 people per child because there were 730+ kids in the class and limited space in the gym (if it hadn't rained, we could have had more in the football field.) We lived outside of Philadelphia.

 

[mjkacmom]

Where d o you live? graduation here is open to the community and everyone goes. I have never heard of tickets being used for a gradutation - that would limit the amount of people able to attend

We are in NJ, graduation is at the football stadium, 6 tickets unless it rains, then 2 for the gym. Most of my kids’ college graduations had limited tickets, folks actually buy them from others. The town does close the street by the HS so folks can watch outside the fence.

 

[sam_gordon]

Where d o you live? graduation here is open to the community and everyone goes. I have never heard of tickets being used for a gradutation - that would limit the amount of people able to attend

I was going to say the same thing to balance out the "ticket required location"... our HS graduates 400+ students every year and there's no limit on who can attend. They hold it at the nearby university's basketball arena, which seats 6500.

 

[PrincessShmoo]

Where d o you live? graduation here is open to the community and everyone goes. I have never heard of tickets being used for a gradutation - that would limit the amount of people able to attend

All 3 of our kids graduations we had only 4 tickets. Lots of graduates, limited space in football stadium. It's been that way for over 40 years.