Graduation and Wedding Gift $ Amounts?

[Bearvet]

This is going to be a hectic few months with lots of major events happening. I'd love suggestions on $ amounts (or gift ideas) for the following:

1. My best friend's son is getting married June 16 and I know they could use money. Although we aren't directly related, they've been like our "local" family for the past 20 years. How much $ to give?

2. Their daughter (we're even closer to her) is graduating from college with a degree in elementary education. Again, I think cash would probably be most appreciated. How much to give her?

3. My oldest DS is graduating from high school in June, so he'll also have lots of friends graduating too. We'll (our family) will probably be invited to his closest friends' parties and don't mind giving a more generous gift to these kids (2 or 3 of his closest friends). How much is appropriate?

4. DS will most likely have many other graduation parties to go to - should he bring a gift? If so, what or how much money? If we are also invited, we'd definitely give something - but how much??

5. My cousin's daughter will also graduate from high school and we're fairly close. We will probably travel to attend her party (7 hours away) - how much should we give her? I know she's saving up for a car.....

6. Another cousin's son is having his Bar Mitzvah soon - it will be at a very expensive hotel on the ocean. We're not terribly close, but will attend. We're not Jewish and I'm not sure how much $ is appropriate to give (when DS has gone to friend's Bar Mitzvahs he's give $36 which is double 18 which is a lucky number). Any ideas? Luckily this one isn't until the Fall (we got a "save the date" card).

I wish I could say that money is no object, but it adds up quickly. So, any ideas on $ amounts to give for these occasions? Thanks!

 

[minnieandme]

wow, you have a busy spring/summer!! I would say for those closest to you $50 would be good. For all others, maybe $25.

 

[shirleyb]

You'll find this varies wildly from region to region. What I would give would be unbearably cheap in NJ or NY. I don't know about MA. Here's what I would give in my area:

1. $100
2. $50
3. $50
4. ?
5. $50
6. ?

 

[EthansMom]

What I'd try to budget:

1. $100, if you're not attending the wedding. More if you and DH are attending. Even more if the whole family is attending.

2. $100, also.

3. $50-$100 each for closest friends, depending on your budget.

4. Usually, the kids having parties invite everyone and don't expect other graduates to give gifts, but if DS wants to do something, then a $10 or $20 gift card would be okay (Itunes, local gas stations, etc..). If your family attends the party of a distant friend or neighbor, then a card with $20 or $25 is nice. I've seen people write out a check for the graduation year (ie. $20.07) which I thought was cute.

5. I'd budget to give her the same amount that you give the kids in #3.

6. I'd budget something similar to #3 and #5.

Enjoy all of the parties!

(Edited to add: We're in CT. I know the amounts people give as gifts tend to vary by region. My recommendations would be a bit different if you were in the Midwest.)

 

[Darcy03231]

We give $100 for a wedding gifts, $100 for college graduations, $50 for high school graduations for family & $25 for friends. I have no idea for a Bar Mitzvah.

 

[Crankyshank]

You're going to get a variety of answers because gift amounts do vary so much by region. Definitely do not feel obligated to give a particular amount if you can't afford it, but if I were in your situation this is how I would budget:

1. I would give $100
2. Again with the $100
3. $50.
4. $25
5. $50 - $75
6. $50

 

[JMD]

It all depends on your budget.

1. Are you going to the wedding? Is there a reception? Its pretty standard in our area to give at least enough to cover your cost at the reception. Two adults attending the wedding and reception, I would probably give $200. If its someone I was really close to, I would give more.

For the rest, I would give $50-$100. Again, depends on your budget.

 

[luvwinnie]

Wow!! For a wedding around here we give at least $200. Maybe it's more now! Been a while for me.
For very close graduates, I'd say $100 or more IF YOU CAN...$50 for the others.

 

[JMD]

Wow!! For a wedding around here we give at least $200.

Same here. I'm really suprised to hear that people give $25 or $50 for a wedding.

 

[mickeyfan2]

This is what I would give, but take it with a grain of salt.

1. My best friend's son is getting married June 16 and I know they could use money. Although we aren't directly related, they've been like our "local" family for the past 20 years. How much $ to give?
$150-200

2. Their daughter (we're even closer to her) is graduating from college with a degree in elementary education. Again, I think cash would probably be most appreciated. How much to give her?
$100

3. My oldest DS is graduating from high school in June, so he'll also have lots of friends graduating too. We'll (our family) will probably be invited to his closest friends' parties and don't mind giving a more generous gift to these kids (2 or 3 of his closest friends). How much is appropriate?
$50-$100

4. DS will most likely have many other graduation parties to go to - should he bring a gift? If so, what or how much money? If we are also invited, we'd definitely give something - but how much??
$25

5. My cousin's daughter will also graduate from high school and we're fairly close. We will probably travel to attend her party (7 hours away) - how much should we give her? I know she's saving up for a car.....
$100

6. Another cousin's son is having his Bar Mitzvah soon - it will be at a very expensive hotel on the ocean. We're not terribly close, but will attend. We're not Jewish and I'm not sure how much $ is appropriate to give (when DS has gone to friend's Bar Mitzvahs he's give $36 which is double 18 which is a lucky number). Any ideas? Luckily this one isn't until the Fall (we got a "save the date" card).
$108

I wish I could say that money is no object, but it adds up quickly. So, any ideas on $ amounts to give for these occasions? Thanks!

 

[SC Minnie]

To all of them- only give what you can truly afford. No need to go broke just to keep up with everyone else in the giving dept.

 

[ducklite]

1. My best friend's son is getting married June 16 and I know they could use money. Although we aren't directly related, they've been like our "local" family for the past 20 years. How much $ to give?

$150-200 If you aren't invited, then a card with $50--unless you want to add more.

2. Their daughter (we're even closer to her) is graduating from college with a degree in elementary education. Again, I think cash would probably be most appreciated. How much to give her?

$50-100

3. My oldest DS is graduating from high school in June, so he'll also have lots of friends graduating too. We'll (our family) will probably be invited to his closest friends' parties and don't mind giving a more generous gift to these kids (2 or 3 of his closest friends). How much is appropriate?

$25-100, depending on a lot of things.

4. DS will most likely have many other graduation parties to go to - should he bring a gift? If so, what or how much money? If we are also invited, we'd definitely give something - but how much??

If you are invited, a $25-50 gift is appropriate.

5. My cousin's daughter will also graduate from high school and we're fairly close. We will probably travel to attend her party (7 hours away) - how much should we give her? I know she's saving up for a car.....

$50-100

6. Another cousin's son is having his Bar Mitzvah soon - it will be at a very expensive hotel on the ocean. We're not terribly close, but will attend. We're not Jewish and I'm not sure how much $ is appropriate to give (when DS has gone to friend's Bar Mitzvahs he's give $36 which is double 18 which is a lucky number). Any ideas? Luckily this one isn't until the Fall (we got a "save the date" card).

I'd give $100 in a check and $18 in crisp new singles.

Anne

 

[Bearvet]

Thanks for your help everyone! I do realize that amounts vary by region, so here's what I've come up with (your suggestions really helped!):

1. Wedding - we will be attending the ceremony and reception - there will be 4 or 5 of us attending. My kids are the only kids invited since we are so close. $200

2. College graduation $100

3. Close friends graduation $50 (Probably $75 for best friend)

4. If the family is invited to the party $50; if only DS $20-25 gift card

5. cousin $50 - $75 (her sister graduated 2 years ago, so I'll have to see what we gave her)

6. Bar Mitzvah - I like the $108 or $118 - I may need to increase this one....

How does this sound?

OMG! I just added this all up and it came to at least $800!! YIKES! I may need to get an extra job! We promised DS a laptop as his graduation gift, so I better start saving my pennies.

 

[Cindy's Mom]

This is what I would give, but take it with a grain of salt.

don't know how to "quote" a "quote" but I would suggest following mickeyfan2's advice. Seems to be right on target

 

[Mad4Mickey]

$200.00 for Wedding and $100.00College graduation is average for family and close friends.
If not invited but got a anouncment I send a $50.00 check or gift card

High school friends of my kids that sent me thier anouncments got $25.00
I wrote about 40-45 checks last year for just my sons friends


When we went to graduation parties we didnt bring anything but I do not recall anyone else . I hope I didnt screw that up .

When my DD and DS graduated we bought them each a laptop and gave them 500 dollars to spend how they wanted . They both used it for stuff for college