Gossip...What's your take?

[gr8tpanther]

I hate gossip, ok, well, I hate spreading it, but there are times (depending on the person for which it is about) that I tend to listen with an extended ear. But for the most part, I am not one for nosing into other people's business. HOWEVER, if they want to talk about ME? Have at it, cause I know the REAL truth and to me? That is all that matters.

People talk, others listen. It is the way of our world, so if they want to talk about me... I just hope they talk me up REAL good

 

[mom2alix]

I think malicious, nasty gossip is bad, but will definitely admit to being guilty of discussing friends when they aren't around (if that's your definition of gossip). I think a lot of people do.

Of course, in my group lately the main topics have been about whether we think certain friends might be expecting, but just not telling yet. Nothing malicious or mean-spirited, but if you're not pregnant around here and don't want speculation you better order something alcoholic or caffeinated when you go for Moms Night Out.

I don't really see anythign wrong with that sort of (non-malicious) gossip, but the back-stabbing, hurtful kind really makes the participants look much worse than the people they're discussing.

 

[browneyes]

try to convince them to see their way

To me, that's the same kind of gossip you referred to in your original post.

If I were to tell you of some issues regarding someone you consider a friend, in hopes to discolor this individual in your eyes because this person has harmed me either emotionally or physically, would you not see that as gossip?

 

[CRB#33]

No. I would see that as a big mistake hoping that this person cared more about me than the person that hurt me.

 

[browneyes]

I don't condone my friends intentionally hurting anyone, and if I have a friend that I think has intentionally hurt someone, I will help to pop some sense into my friend. I would ask the same to be done to me by my friends. If I intentionally hurt someone, I want to be told I'm an idiot.

There are 3 sides to every story. Gossip feeds off 2 of those sides.

 

[CRB#33]

Oh, I'll agree with that one. Most of the time the gossip isn't true is it?

But how would you know to pop the person that was doing the hurting if you weren't told that your other friend was being hurt?

This is a never ending circle and probably semantics.

If you are personally involved, it's probably not gossip. If you are not personally involved, it probably is.

 

[Pete's Mom]

Originally posted by jrydberg
Where divorce and kids are concerned, I think it's best to not discuss such things in front of kids. I certainly had my share of people talking about me and my divorce. But frankly, I don't care.

When kids are involved, however, it becomes a concern. Though, in all honesty, kids aren't stupid. If one parent is badmouthing the other, more often than not (in my experience anyway) the kids see right through it. It only ends up hurting the one badmouthing.

You are so right, jrydberg! My mother constantly ran my father into the ground when I was growing up but he never once said a bad word about her when I visited him. He didn't have too. I saw it with my own eyes. Most kids can figure it out for themselves sooner or later. My father is deceased now, but he set a wonderful example for me with my ex and I will always admire him for taking the high road.

 

[browneyes]

But how would you know to pop the person that was doing the hurting if you weren't told that your other friend was being hurt?

Timing is key. Why tell me something someone did that was harmful when I don't have the opportunity to ascertain the situation and decide whether or not to pop my friend when they're no longer here? That would be like the loser of the upcoming election going on tv the day after the election to tell you 1 last tidbit about the winner that might've swayed voters his way.

Elections-another way to gossip.

 

[dg39]

Aside from the daily little nonsense about "so & so got that at that store" and little things like that the one thing that I don't do is gossip. I don't like to be around anyone who does, I rather not get involved with other peoples business or troubles, I have enough of my own to worry about. I also tell my dd, NEVER talk about anybody because if it gets back to them, 1) they'll feel very bad and 2) if they find out you were talking about them, they can come and beat you up. I don't even get out of my car at the bus stop, because there's a few mothers there who do gossip and I rather not get involved. If they come to the car to complain or talk about a teacher that my dd had in the past I would then voice my opinion. But as far as dirty, nasty, hair pulling gossip, no, not me.

 

[CRB#33]

Why tell me something someone did that was harmful when I don't have the opportunity to ascertain the situation and decide whether or not to pop my friend when they're no longer here?

Good point. I guess.

I guess it's just a matter of who you trust. If I tell you that someone did something to hurt me, I guess I would hope you would believe me.

Just a matter of who you trust.

Ah... the life lessons learned on the DIS.

 

[Brer_Papa]

All of us have a natural curiosity I guess...so we may all be guilty of gossiping in varying degrees.......even if only on the listening end...

those that deliberately spread hurtful or maliscious gossip seldom change....

and here's an oddity....<b><u>it seems to me</u></b>...those that spread the bad gossip....never stop to think people just might talk about them...
& heaven forbid someone does....they are the most surprised and whiniest people you could meet..

During my lifetime....some things were not as wide open or as available today...for instance...the press didn't report the shenanigans of President Kennedy...

Today, any news worthy person's life is an open book...and we, the public demand more....

I think back on the Jim Baker scandal....OJ....Monica & Bill...we couldn't get enough...

need more?

right here on the DIS....there is a thread...it has now surpassed 50,000 views in what must be record time...

why do you think that is?

my take?
gossip is gossip...spreading it or listening to it....or reading it...

the above is my opinion...my opinion only...

 

[CRB#33]

Brer Papa, you have a very good point.

I was thinking about that today and will shamefully admit to gossiping by reading

 

[disneydragon]

Originally posted by Jolie C
So, who was it???

That made me laugh out loud, Jolie!

 

[Brer_Papa]

Yikes CBR! I didn't post that to make you feel bad....or shameful...

I was basically saying humans are humans...with natural curiosities....

and heck..in this era of "Reality TV" and the like...

we seem to thrive on it....

Listen....I expresssed a theory on anther thread similar to this...

You can take just about any subject....and depending on how you present it (title it)....will influence the response...

for instance...

you could do 2 posts....title one "how do you take your coffee?"

title the other: "Stirrig things up"...

have the text in the thread the same..

the first will lie almost dormant....the second will go through the roof..

natural curiosity...we all have it....in varying degrees...

and that 50,000 view thread...

I've never opened it....not because I am do-gooder... ...far from it....

I curbed my natural curiosity on this one...but, I am guilty of keepng track of how fast and far the view count zooms...

there-in lies my natural curiosity on that thread....and realizing that if I could add up all the views on PD requests or viws on threads where a DIS-er has passed on....it would take many months or a year plus of such postings to equal 50,000 views...

so....no reason to feel bad or shameful...

we're human...