"Godless Heathens" Support thread - no bashing please :)

[snoopy]

I put godless heathen in quotes because it was meant tongue in cheek. This thread is basically meant for anyone that has been told they are hellbound for whatever reason. I'm a lapsed agnostic Catholic with pagan leanings.

I understood. Which is why I immediately subscribed to this thread.

 

[happybratpack]

I have been shocked about the comments made about that I better get involved with a specific church before I adopt so the baby grows up with a religious background. Even my mother who the only time I've seen her in chuch was for weddings, funerals and such. My sister is very much into her church which is great, but she's really pushing me about it and it irks the snot out of me.

My experiences with religion were when I was younger and I used to go to Baptist Sunday school on the church bus every Saturday. I used to like the school portion but would cry and cry during the sermons due to the hell and damnation fervor they got into.

I also have issues with the whole church as a business issue. I mean, could something better for society not be done other than building a huge complex with all the bells and whistles? Can you not get what you need out of it without volleyball courts and bowling alleys there? There's a massive church by me here that I would feel like I needed to write down that I parked in "section Luke, row 5, space 17" in order to locate my car when I came out. To each their own I guess, but I have a hard time buying stuff from fundraisers there (coworker attends and is ALWAYS selling something for the church funds) since I drive by at night and there's a laser light show going on the outside of the building. I would rather, oh, I don't know, - feed and clothe a disadvantaged child with my money.

I went to high school with the son of the pastor of a MASSIVE church in that town...two years ago he went to prison for embezzling money out of the church funds. I know I'm veering off topic here, but the whole money issue really irks me. My best friends mother and stepdad have very little money...they just make it by and barely. The moved to the NE this past year and became involved with a church there...she called last night to tell her son that they were selling the signed Mickey Mantle they have (the ONLY thing of value they have) because they feel that they "owe the church". I'm sorry, but they barely have enough to cover living expenses, food and medical as it is, are older and have no retirement.

Sorry I'm ranting, I know I shouldn't and usually I would never open my mouth about it. It's been one of those days around here though (and I'm really irked by the Mickey Mantle thing). I believe anyone should be able to make their own religious decisions without having someone elses beliefs, standards and propaganda pushed on them. If it makes you happy and helps you find what you want & need then more power to you and I'm happy for you. I'm happy to hear about it, then when I decline to participate I don't want the full marketing plan pitched to me over and over.

Geez, I better take some Midol.

 

[Holly]

Another godless heathen here.

 

[TheOtherVillainess]

Godless heathen checking in.
DH is actually sort of Christian and I'm pagan (which neither sets of parents know about). My mom is kinda upset that we don't attend church. She doesn't know it's because we can't agree on a church anyway.

TOV

 

[Puffy2]

The surrendered wife book?
You poor thing.

Reminds me of when a "friend" of mine wrote me some hate mail after the birth of my second child. I was having a very difficult time the first 6 months. I literally had not slept longer than 2 - 3 hours in one stretch in three months. LITERALLY. My normally kind wonderful husband was being an as$ at the time and was NO HELP what so ever. None. I just about lost it until early one morning at 5 am (up with the baby again...) I saw a show on post partum psychosis. The doctor said that it starts with sleep depravation and it is dangerous "when given the opportunity to sleep you can not" - which is what exactly was happening to me. Well, called the doctor got some advice and sleeping pills. and all got better .

BUT in the middle of this I get this hate mail from my "missionary Baptist cousin" writing me this long as$ letter telling me how it is "sinful to put my children first and how I should be doing more to meet the needs of my husband".
Was she kidding? I could barely manage to take care of the two children adequately and not kill myself. What about MY freaking needs? and where was Ms. Holier than Thou anyway??? She certainly wasn't helping.

But I was proud of myself. although I wanted like hel! to write her a scathing letter back. I didn't . Instead I sent her a note telling her she was "misguided" and perhaps one day when she had more than one child she'd "understand" and I sent her a book of Mother Teresa's wisdom and words. Now, you tell me - what was more "Chistian"?

Whew, hadn't thought about that in a long time!

 

[caitycaity]

There's a massive church by me here that I would feel like I needed to write down that I parked in "section Luke, row 5, space 17" in order to locate my car when I came out. To each their own I guess, but I have a hard time buying stuff from fundraisers there (coworker attends and is ALWAYS selling something for the church funds) since I drive by at night and there's a laser light show going on the outside of the building.

you don't live in indiana do you? one of my friends lives near a church like that.

re: the mickey mantle. my southern baptist relatives are very nice people. however, there are a lot of things about their religion that i just truly don't get. they also tithe more than they can afford.

 

[Cebhfhionn]

Yet another 'heathen' here. Actually I consider myself Wiccan bordering on Agnostic.

My family doesn't really give me a hard time at all. My Mother thinks that I burn candles and talk to faeries. My Dad even bought me a sweatshirt with a Pentacle on it from Salem, MA.

However, my 94(soon to be 95) year old Grandma pesters me on occasion to please bring my 10 yr old DS to church. She believes that having religion in his life is very important. I do not agree but can't argue with her because I have too much respect for her and her beliefs. So I just say "Of course, Grandma..."

 

[robinb]

Another Godless Heathen checking in ! I love this thread ... I feel such a fellowship here .

My funniest GH moment was 2 years ago when my mother gave my DD a present of an electronic Care Bear. As far as my mother is concerned, a toy that doesn't take batteries is no toy at all! Anyway ... my 3 year old DD rips open the package and there is the sleepy-time blue Care Bear, exactly what my DD requested. Only it is in a strange position ... it is on its knees and it's paws are folded in front of it! Too late! My DD is clutching it happily and squeezing the hand. The little bear bows its head and starts to pray "Now I lay me down to sleep I pray the lord my soul to keep ..." and so on about god and jesus! *gack* Then, to make matters worse, my DD began to repeat the stupid bear. The bear "broke" the very next day. My mother claims she didn't notice that the bear was praying or that the package clearly states that it was a PRAYING BEAR all over it. Thank you mom and Wal*Mart.

 

[WDW_DV]

Thanks for the thread! I'm torn between atheism/agnosticism. I suppose I'm pretty much hellbound either way

SIL's family are devoted Catholics but very cool with our life choice.

My brother's family has been a little heavy handed sometimes, but I had a talk with him and they have been better about things.

Fortunately, I have an aunt an uncle who are athiest and raised two kids (both in their 30s now) so we have someone to talk to about issues that may come up with DD9. So far, we've not had too much trouble. I suppose it helps that we live in a college town so people are perhaps a bit more used to different types of folks.

 

[Bichon Barb]

Hello all.

I was raised Lutheran (ELCA--the more liberal brand of Lutheran). I'm not a regular church goer, but when I do attend you can find me in my husband's and sons' Catholic church more often than a Lutheran church. The family being together usually wins over the "brand" of church. We chose to baptize the boys Catholic, because my husband rarely misses mass, and I'm the type who feels more spiritual hiking in the woods or walking on the beach.

Although I do consider myself Christian, I'm open to all religions. Kind of a deist, I guess. I don't believe any one religion is the correct religion. As long as you live your life with love and kindness, you're doing okay in my book.

 

[RickinNYC]

I put godless heathen in quotes because it was meant tongue in cheek. This thread is basically meant for anyone that has been told they are hellbound for whatever reason.

Oh! Since you quantified what a godless heathen is, then I guess I'm one too. However, I guess I should confess, although I do strongly believe in God and Jesus, I don't go to church every week which kinda bugs me to no end. That notwithstanding, I've been told or better yet, it has been inferred by some, that I will be burning in Hell. 'Cause of the gay thing, y'know. Doesn't matter that I try to live by God's word, but because I am in love with and in a committed relationship with one man, 'Lo! I am an abomination. Who knew?

 

[barbeml]

Atheist here! Thanks OP for starting this thread.

I have a great book recommendation for every thinking person: "The End of Faith: Religion, Terror and the Future of Reason" by Sam Harris.

 

[Crankyshank]

I guess I'm a deist as well

That Care Bear sounds posifreakingtively creepy!
barb, I'm going to check that book out while waiting in line for HP tomorrow night - thanks for the suggestion

 

[Cebhfhionn]

I don't believe any one religion is the correct religion. As long as you live your life with love and kindness, you're doing okay in my book.

ITA! Very well put, Barb!

 

[TheOtherVillainess]

Hey Barb..I was raised ELCA too. I think I got put off of it when I was in Confirmation. I had some issues with the church (not the church I attended, but Lutheran-ism in general)and wasn't going to get Confirmed. My mother dragged me kicking and screaming into the pastor's office to tell him I was getting confirmed, even though I didn't really want to do it. For me, that was the straw that broke the camel's back. I went to church as long as I lived at home but never really had any faith in God or the church again after that. Once I got married, I stopped going to church altogether except on special occassions or holidays where my presence was requested by my mother.

TOV

 

[dejavu]

Another heathen here too. My sis is born again (Jesus spoke to her thru the radio ) and she constantly is telling us all about how we are all hell bound- she has yelled at our Mom when she was in intensive care after suffering a heart attack to repent and accept Jesus Christ or she would spend eternity in hell now what is christian about that behavior??? I try to see the good in her but I beleive the Church is telling her to give up her family because she cannot convert us, which is sad because we do love her and since she is happy in her religion I am glad for her, I just wish she would accept us too and not have to make every conversation into a bible lesson....Sorry for the rant- I feel better now.

 

[snoopy]

The surrendered wife book?
You poor thing.

Reminds me of when a "friend" of mine wrote me some hate mail after the birth of my second child. I was having a very difficult time the first 6 months. I literally had not slept longer than 2 - 3 hours in one stretch in three months. LITERALLY. My normally kind wonderful husband was being an as$ at the time and was NO HELP what so ever. None. I just about lost it until early one morning at 5 am (up with the baby again...) I saw a show on post partum psychosis. The doctor said that it starts with sleep depravation and it is dangerous "when given the opportunity to sleep you can not" - which is what exactly was happening to me. Well, called the doctor got some advice and sleeping pills. and all got better .

BUT in the middle of this I get this hate mail from my "missionary Baptist cousin" writing me this long as$ letter telling me how it is "sinful to put my children first and how I should be doing more to meet the needs of my husband".
Was she kidding? I could barely manage to take care of the two children adequately and not kill myself. What about MY freaking needs? and where was Ms. Holier than Thou anyway??? She certainly wasn't helping.

But I was proud of myself. although I wanted like hel! to write her a scathing letter back. I didn't . Instead I sent her a note telling her she was "misguided" and perhaps one day when she had more than one child she'd "understand" and I sent her a book of Mother Teresa's wisdom and words. Now, you tell me - what was more "Chistian"?

Whew, hadn't thought about that in a long time!

I absolutely LOVE that you sent her a book of Mother Teresa's wisdom.

Sometimes I think Christianity is deviating so far from the message of Christ that people are twisting themselves into pretzels to justify giving into prejudice, discrimination and hate.

 

[nuke]

Being a Catholic that practices birth control I am also in the heathen catagory.
I've also been told that I'm not Christian because I am a Catholic.

Let's see I go to church about once a month but I feel guilty about the other 3 weeks so that's okay.

 

[roger_ramjet]

Not sure what I am, except that perhaps lapsed Catholic/Agnostic/Alcoholic pretty much fits the bill. Don't tell the in-laws though....

So just saying g'day to the rest of the godless heathens in here. Good to know this place isn't only full of god-botherers

 

[aprincessmom]

To those others out there that aren't religious, do you either get or expect to get a lot of guff from religious relatives because you are bringing / will bring your kids up as fellow heathens ?

I don't know if I qualify as a godless heathen. I believe in a higher power but I believe morality and principles are not the sole ownership of any one religion over another.

As for raising my DD as a heathen I do get flack from relatives...DD hasn't ever been baptised so that is a constant sore point. DD and I have been to a number of different type of churches, we've just never found one that fits all our needs. The interesting thing is that DD, at 9, is far more conversant in religion than any of my cousins were at that age and they attended Sunday school each week, were baptized, received Holy Communion, AND went to Catholic school.

So I have to respectfully disagree with members of my family who feel I am raising a godless child. On the contrary, I am raising a child who understands there is not just one god nor should religion be your sole guiding force in determining moral stances and a worldview. She is quite godfull -- if I may make up a word -- and understands more about religion without it being rammed down her throat as the only way.