Giving visitors chores

[Gumbo4x4]

I always had chores when I stayed with aunts & uncles or grandparents as a kid (less with the grandparents), though probably not THAT much.

I recall my most hated chore was riding my aunt's "girl" bike to the store to buy her cigarettes LOL

 

[sk!mom]

I never made a spread sheet for my own children so I wouldn't ever do that for guests. I appreciate it if week long family guests make their beds, keep the bathroom straight, or maybe hang out in the kitchen and cook with me but I would never make chore assignments.

When my nieces visit, I typically plan a week of outings, game nights, movie nights, just fun hanging out.

 

[cabanafrau]

It sounds like she wants to display her speshul superior parenting skills. The kind that only someone without a teenager could profess to have. It looks like she has made it her project to reform their wasted time on phones.

How awful for those girls. I hope she has a mutiny on her hands.

In that case you know it's a safe bet her kids will grow up to be completely beyond her control.

I hope these kids do the quality bang up job the compensation offered deserves.

 

[mom2rtk]

In that case you know it's a safe bet her kids will grow up to be completely beyond her control.

I hope these kids do the quality bang up job the compensation offered deserves.

Maybe they could wash all the whites in the house in hot with a red shirt?

Or maybe they could do what my sister did years ago and accidentally pull out every new corn plant while leaving all the weeds intact.

Lots of great ways to get their message across. I wish the OP could meet them and slip them a link to this thread.

 

[cornflkgrl]

This kids already live with grandparents, and there is a story involved, so I'd assume that's not a really happy story. There is a relative who is obviously almost at the point of death, the girls are uprooted again to stay with an aunt who I am getting the feeling they don't know well. Then they are presented with a spreadsheet of chores they are expected to do, PLUS an active toddler they are supposed to take care of.

No. Just no.

This sounds like a Hallmark Hall of Fame Movie....or Anne of Greene Gables.

 

[sailorstitch]

When I was about 4 one of my teenage cousins staid with us for about a week. I don't remember much about his stay because, well... I was 4! I just asked my mom if she or dad had him do any chores. She doesn't remember asking him to do anything. (I do remember him reading to me, but I think either he offered or I begged him to do it.) Naturally, mom because curious as to why I was asking such a question. I relaid the OP's story to her. She replied with "That's ridiculous!"

sailorstitch

 

[pearlieq]

Having them clean up after themselves and pitching in for routine family chores (like setting the table or loading the dishwasher) is normal and expected. If she wanted to offer them the opportunity to earn a few bucks by doing special jobs while they're visiting, that would be fine too.

Otherwise, no, you don't get to treat your visiting nieces like indentured servants.

 

[King Schultz]

I always had chores when I stayed with aunts & uncles or grandparents as a kid (less with the grandparents), though probably not THAT much.

I recall my most hated chore was riding my aunt's "girl" bike to the store to buy her cigarettes LOL

Those were the days when America was still great. . .

 

[Magpie]

I always had chores when I stayed with aunts & uncles or grandparents as a kid (less with the grandparents), though probably not THAT much.

I recall my most hated chore was riding my aunt's "girl" bike to the store to buy her cigarettes LOL

Ha! My mum always had me buy her cigarettes, too!

When I was nine, I could just bike over and buy them, no questions asked. When I was ten, the guy at the store said I had to bring a permission note from my mum. And when I was 11 my mum told me that she'd heard I wasn't allowed to buy them for her any more, although I think the guy would have kept selling them to me anyway. (My mum's a rule-follower!)

 

[MaryLovesPoohBear]

my parents were like a PP stated - if they came over, they were expected to help out - if we cooked, they had to help with dishes, if they made a mess in my room, they had to help clean it up. If they left without doing so, they were not allowed back over for 2 weeks and the parents were called and they were explained to why. My parents felt like if they helped make the mess,they should help clean it up

OP - I can see both sides, but I DO think that the list is a little excessive on the co-workers part

Big difference between cleaning up their own mess and pulling weeds. They didn't make weeds grow. She also wants them to cut the grass and babysit.

It is cheap labor.

 

[JoeA]

I like reading Dis...makes me feel normal! .

 

[Allons-y!]

Wow, it sounds like she really resents having them stay with her. At least, I'm sure that's the message the terns will get, even if she doesn't actually feel that way. What a (insert-non-friendly-Dis-word-here).

 

[kmb584]

Cinderelly, Cinderelly...

 

[Lilacs4Me]

Wow! I think we have a consensus so far.

To answer a few questions -

The ill father has been sick for a while but has taken a turn for the worse. The MIL wants to fly out to see him before he passes away, hence the "emergency" trip.

The girls have lived with the grandparents since the oldest was about 4 and the youngest was a baby. They came from an abusive situation, but have lived in the same house in a decent area ever since and have fairly stable lives (considering). Co-worker knows them well. They spend the night at her house occassionally.

Coworker is...odd. She is nice and always means well, but she is the kind of person who has weird views of things sometimes and doesn't realize it. She *thinks* she is being perfectly normal - I mean, who *wouldn't* do something like this when your teen relatives come to stay for a week? LOL I don't think she is trying to be mean to them - she just thinks that this is what people do. And there is no telling her that it's not normal.

Her Dh has been laid off for the past year, and she was actually laid off from our company for about 5 months from a different department that restructured before coming back a month ago to my area, but they routinely get notices that their grass is too high, and he hasn't "gotten around" to fixing things around the house, so she wants to take advantage of the girls being there this week to help him with the 2 year old so he can get some of this stuff done. Their house normally looks like a wreck - she takes "sweaty selfies" every morning after she works out, and doesn't edit the mess and clutter and dirty clothes, dishes, etc in the family room behind her in the pic.

Funny update - she IM'd me a while after sending the spreadsheet to her DH and said "I love him, but he can be such a jerk sometimes" Apparently, he stopped texting her after she sent him the chore list (he is on it right along with the girls LOL). I responded back "well, if that was my DH, he would *not* do the chores if I gave him a spreadsheet like that just on the pure principle of it. And if he gave ME a spreadsheet of what I am going to be doing for the next week, I would laugh and throw it away, but that's just us...."

She didn't respond.

Copy of some of her list:

C Girls Game Plan!

Tuesday:

· Chores

L - Mow Grass

A- Vacuum Family Room & pull front tree weeds

S - Baby Duty

DH - Strip Paint in Downstairs Shower

C (COWORKER) - Dinner


· Dinner: Recipe #1


Wednesday:

· Chores

L - Dust & Vacuum Living Room/Dining Room

A - Baby Duty

S - Kitchen Clean Up

DH - Bathroom Scrub

C - Dinner


· Dinner: Recipe #2

· Magic Night! – DH & girls

Thursday:

· Chores


L - Baby Duty

A - Front Weeds/Stumps w/DH

S - Vacuum Stairs/Upstairs Hallway, Mop and Sweep Floors in Kitchen and Downstairs Bathroom

DH - Front Weeds/Stumps

C - Straighten Office

· Dinner: BBQ!!

· Fire Pit Night w/S’mores

 

[gwynne]

Wow! I think we have a consensus so far.

To answer a few questions -

The ill father has been sick for a while but has taken a turn for the worse. The MIL wants to fly out to see him before he passes away, hence the "emergency" trip.

The girls have lived with the grandparents since the oldest was about 4 and the youngest was a baby. They came from an abusive situation, but have lived in the same house in a decent area ever since and have fairly stable lives (considering). Co-worker knows them well. They spend the night at her house occassionally.

Coworker is...odd. She is nice and always means well, but she is the kind of person who has weird views of things sometimes and doesn't realize it. She *thinks* she is being perfectly normal - I mean, who *wouldn't* do something like this when your teen relatives come to stay for a week? LOL I don't think she is trying to be mean to them - she just thinks that this is what people do. And there is no telling her that it's not normal.

Her Dh has been laid off for the past year, and she was actually laid off from our company for about 5 months from a different department that restructured before coming back a month ago to my area, but they routinely get notices that their grass is too high, and he hasn't "gotten around" to fixing things around the house, so she wants to take advantage of the girls being there this week to help him with the 2 year old so he can get some of this stuff done. Their house normally looks like a wreck - she takes "sweaty selfies" every morning after she works out, and doesn't edit the mess and clutter and dirty clothes, dishes, etc in the family room behind her in the pic.

Funny update - she IM'd me a while after sending the spreadsheet to her DH and said "I love him, but he can be such a jerk sometimes" Apparently, he stopped texting her after she sent him the chore list (he is on it right along with the girls LOL). I responded back "well, if that was my DH, he would *not* do the chores if I gave him a spreadsheet like that just on the pure principle of it. And if he gave ME a spreadsheet of what I am going to be doing for the next week, I would laugh and throw it away, but that's just us...."

She didn't respond.

Copy of some of her list:

C Girls Game Plan!

Tuesday:

· Chores

L - Mow Grass

A- Vacuum Family Room & pull front tree weeds

S - Baby Duty

DH - Strip Paint in Downstairs Shower

C (COWORKER) - Dinner


· Dinner: Recipe #1


Wednesday:

· Chores

L - Dust & Vacuum Living Room/Dining Room

A - Baby Duty

S - Kitchen Clean Up

DH - Bathroom Scrub

C - Dinner


· Dinner: Recipe #2

· Magic Night! – DH & girls

Thursday:

· Chores


L - Baby Duty

A - Front Weeds/Stumps w/DH

S - Vacuum Stairs/Upstairs Hallway, Mop and Sweep Floors in Kitchen and Downstairs Bathroom

DH - Front Weeds/Stumps

C - Straighten Office

· Dinner: BBQ!!

· Fire Pit Night w/S’mores

She's not getting bonus points from me for planning two "fun-ish" brief activities along with all the labor camp plans.
Your coworker appears to be an unkind and unpleasant person.
I hope the girls grandparents love them.

 

[QueenIsabella]

It seems like she doesn't have much of a clue. Her spreadsheet sounds awful--my Dh and kids would be rebelling, big time, if I tried something like that here. I have no problem with the idea of pitching in--helping with dinner, picking up after themselves, and so forth, but stuff like weeding and mowing is way over the top. And I would be judicious on having them watch the toddler--some girls LOVE babysitting, others don't.

My guess is, the nieces will conspire with their uncle to mutiny.

 

[Nayan]

Oh man, this reminds me of when I was 13 and went to visit my brother. Promised all kinds of fun things but he and his wife at the time wanted a live-in maid to clean their trashed house and I wasn't having any of it. I hope these kids put their feet down and say no way!

 

[gwynne]

It seems like she doesn't have much of a clue. Her spreadsheet sounds awful--my Dh and kids would be rebelling, big time, if I tried something like that here. I have no problem with the idea of pitching in--helping with dinner, picking up after themselves, and so forth, but stuff like weeding and mowing is way over the top. And I would be judicious on having them watch the toddler--some girls LOVE babysitting, others don't.

My guess is, the nieces will conspire with their uncle to mutiny.

I agree with you.
Shall we hope the Uncle has the....gumption...to tell Queenie to step off the throne?
Seriously, the thing that is so sad is that these kids are vulnerable. Maybe surrounding them with a balance of love, some reasonable guest expectations (please make your bed rather than strip the paint from my shower) and some fun activities. It's possible to do cheap staycation type things. I think all the Aunt sees is free labor.

 

[Vernie822]

They are kids on summer break. I think the chores are ridiculous. Assuming they have some basic chores at home, I think having them keep up after themselves (make their beds, keep their room area neat), maybe help with the dishes or something, is plenty. If I had family with me for the week and there was an adult home, I'd do some fun stuff like take them to the zoo, the movies, the library, etc.

 

[Jonas_Swe]

IMHO - It's pretty weird!

Well actually, very strange to ask that much of the kids. And especially for one week only...

If they were to stay all summer, she could engage them in gardening fun activities. And if that results in a few weeds pulled, good for her!

But to me the fact that she's even got a grown up man his own chores, well... that just says it all!

That's my 2 cents and I am off the soap box now!