"Giving away" your daughter at her wedding

[mamabear0222]

Um...we BOTH wear a wedding band. We belong to each other. My issue is with the traditions that point to the wife as property.

Belonging indicates you're each other's property.... but regardless by your logic you are still HIS property (and vice versa as you pointed out)..

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[ColoradoDisneyFreaks]

But Mom, she started it!



This is so not a conversation OR a debate anymore.

As most women, I did what I did for my wedding because it was what I wanted to do. I'm fully aware that I'm not anyone's property - I think most women have figured this out for themselves as well. So don't try to tell us what we did, what we meant by it, and why we should be ashamed of ouselves.

It's really all a matter of personal preference. If someone wants to use the traditions, they can, if they don't they don't. Getting up in arms because someone doesn't believe the same way about something is pretty much the root of most problems we have, on both sides of the fence.

 

[Jaya]

Wow, I haven't been involved in the board for long and I'l admit that I don't read a lot of posts, but I haven't seen this much "general pissiness" since naptime was late at nursery school. Most everyone seems to be enjoying the discussion but a couple of you need to go play in opposite corners.

 

[bunkkinsmom]

So, men are supposed to be seen as strong and independent whereas women are supposed to cling to mommy and daddy?

Seriously? Me thinks thou doth protest too much.

I personally found the implication of your response to someone else's obvious joke of a post (obvious because they actually said "lol" after it) rude.

I have a son. Don't presume that you know anything about the respect issue when it comes to each individual family. Are you truly asking these questions or is this your way of trying to make a point?

IN MY OPINION men and women are treated differently because WE ARE DIFFERENT. Flame me if you will, but we are different. I personally enjoy having doors held open for me. I enjoyed being walked down the aisle by my father. I enjoy cooking Thanksgiving dinner while my DH and FIL watch football (with my SIL by the way). Can I open my own doors? Can I walk myself down the aisle? Can I recite more football stats than anyone else in that room? Abso-freakin-lutely. But why on earth do I need to prove that to anyone? I teach my son to stand and give ladies his seat in appropriate situations. I teach my son to hold doors open for women. My son will be taught to ask a father before proposing.

I will answer your previous questions in hopes that they are truly questions:

Websters defines "ceremony": : a formal act or series of acts prescribed by ritual, protocol, or convention.

Using that definition, each participant has a role to ply according to ritual, protocol, or convention. So that's why they are treated differently.

In answer to your second question, if it is the man proposing, then he should be the one to ask. If the bride proposes to the groom, I see it as the same, and she should ask his parents.

I believe I have already answered your last two.

Well, yes, they were "truly" questions. as you can see from my prior posts,if I wanted to make a statement, I would do just that.


As Ember pointed out below, it's ok to question rituals and traditions.

Seems to me anyone who felt completely comfortable with these double standards would not be getting peeved about others questioning them.

I have not used "rolley eyes" or any other sarcastic emoticon when having these discussions with you. That question was an honest question. I even indicated later in the post that I would answer them for you in hopes that your questions were sincere. Not sure how I could've been any more plain about it.

Not sure why you think I'm getting peeved?

You're the one who commented on the fact that I asked 4 questions, then implied whether that was defensive. In my opinion, no, asking 4 questions is not defensive. So, what is your opinion about how many questions one can ask in any given post?

And we're you not implying I was insincere when you twice queried whether my questions were "truly" questions? I

I see you changed your wording. You have been very quick to assume my reasonings and inflections on this thread, and yet I've been pretty forthright in my answers. You have implied that I am not completely comfortable with what you presume are double standards as well. Chobie, I am left wondering what the point of all of this is. You have been accusatory, argumentative, and aggressive to many posters on this thread. And yet when asked about it honestly, then that person is defensive, or not comfortable. I defend my actions and wording all day to you, but will it really make a difference? I have been honest in my questions, honest in my replies, and have gone beyond what most would to explain myself if you thought or assumed something other than what was intended.

 

[chobie]

But Mom, she started it!



This is so not a conversation OR a debate anymore.

As most women, I did what I did for my wedding because it was what I wanted to do. I'm fully aware that I'm not anyone's property - I think most women have figured this out for themselves as well. So don't try to tell us what we did, what we meant by it, and why we should be ashamed of ouselves.

Who told you what you did, or what was meant by it when you did it, or you should be ashamed?

People, including myself, merely pointed out what it stood for originally and why we personally would not do it.

Unless, I missed something?

 

[bunkkinsmom]

Wow, I haven't been involved in the board for long and I'l admit that I don't read a lot of posts, but I haven't seen this much "general pissiness" since naptime was late at nursery school. Most everyone seems to be enjoying the discussion but a couple of you need to go play in opposite corners.

I know, I probably should've stopped replying a long time ago.......

Sorry for dragging it out ya'll.

 

[chobie]

I personally found the implication of your response to someone else's obvious joke of a post (obvious because they actually said "lol" after it) rude.

I have not used "rolley eyes" or any other sarcastic emoticon when having these discussions with you. That question was an honest question. I even indicated later in the post that I would answer them for you in hopes that your questions were sincere. Not sure how I could've been any more plain about it.

I see you changed your wording. You have been very quick to assume my reasonings and inflections on this thread, and yet I've been pretty forthright in my answers. You have implied that I am not completely comfortable with what you presume are double standards as well. Chobie, I am left wondering what the point of all of this is. You have been accusatory, argumentative, and aggressive to many posters on this thread. And yet when asked about it honestly, then that person is defensive, or not comfortable. I defend my actions and wording all day to you, but will it really make a difference? I have been honest in my questions, honest in my replies, and have gone beyond what most would to explain myself if you thought or assumed something other than what was intended.

I'm wondering what the point of this is too. I never told anyone they are wrong, or that they should not engage in the rituals. I have merely stated my reasons for why I don't like them and asked others about the double standard. For that I've been called nasty, argumentative,etc.

And how else should one interpret their sincerity being questioned? Friendly?

 

[bunkkinsmom]

I'm done.

 

[diznygirl]

Who told you what you did, or what was meant by it when you did it, or you should be ashamed?

People, including myself, merely pointed out what it stood for originally and why we personally would not do it.

Unless, I missed something?

Don't drag me into your thesis discussion. You are entitled to your opinion, and I think you have stated it loud and clear and more times than actually necessary. Have a Disney day!

 

[chobie]

Don't drag me into your thesis discussion. You are entitled to your opinion, and I think you have stated it loud and clear and more times than actually necessary. Have a Disney day!

The answer is, no one told you to be ashamed or not to do it.

 

[chobie]

I'm done.

I'm glad.

 

[disykat]

Like I said...some people really overthink things.

.

Seriously?


Some people... that start to a sentence never really ends well IMO.

I'm really not getting why you don't think people should think about their weddings and want they do or don't want included.

 

[Bob NC]

Are you people for real?

 

[chobie]

Are you people for real?

No, we're personas on a Disney discussion board.

 

[joviroxx]

After a rather "emotional" morning with my pre-teen DS, Im thinking "giving her away" doesn't sound so bad!

 

[Planogirl]

Can anyone "give away" DIS posters?

I appreciate all viewpoints here and can see both sides. I personally believe that it's a harmless custom but I can see why others wouldn't care to be reminded of the origins.

 

[tripletsmama]

WOW, I missed a lot this morning. Maybe it's time to give this thread away?

Honestly, I just wanted to hear opinions on the topic. I wasn't looking to determine right or wrong or decide what to do for my wedding. I am already married and I am happy with the way it went. I was just curious to see how others interpreted and viewed the traditions. Didn't mean to start any arguments!

 

[chobie]

WOW, I missed a lot this morning. Maybe it's time to give this thread away?

Honestly, I just wanted to hear opinions on the topic. I wasn't looking to determine right or wrong or decide what to do for my wedding. I am already married and I am happy with the way it went. I was just curious to see how others interpreted and viewed the traditions. Didn't mean to start any arguments!

You didn't start any arguments. It's an interesting topic, that obviously many people have feelings about.

 

[Granny square]

I agree, lol. . It never hurts to hear people's ideas. Even if you don't agree and even if they strong opinions.

 

[chobie]

I agree, lol. . It never hurts to hear people's ideas. Even if you don't agree and even if they strong opinions.

I'm sorry about that "lol" post. I was rude on that one.