Cristabel...you know, I think sometimes that that's the best way to be...whereas I'd been dreaming of having a baby at home (literally dreaming of it) since I was 15 and hadn't even been KISSED yet. Quite a lot of expectations, then I did NOTHING to prepare (except for Bradley classe, which were absolutely positively USELESS b/c they teach you nothing nothing nothing nothing about posterior presentation (baby being face up), and even though the current Bradley "people" have a DIL who has now had the same situation happen (at least) twice (she was active on the ICAN boards when I was first on there) directly due to posterior presentation, they REFUSE to include info in their teachings about it and what it can do to labor).
But my friends who had never really thought about it (or didn't want to) generally have had experiences that they don't mind at all.
Oh my Bumber! That is quite the story! After watching the Business of Being Born documentary, I am so scared to have a kid! It sounds like it could go wrong either way!
I'm sorry you had to go through all that!!!
Thank you. I've been told I should see that, but I think my jealousy for Ricki Lake might get in the way, and I have quite a hefty dose of PTSD about it all. I can't even see Star Wars 3 (the last one with Hayden and Natalie etc) b/c of the questionable birth scene in it and not wanting to end up in a puddle on the floor...hubby saw it and was disturbed enough b/c he saw what was done to me...he would have not watched, but I passed out from exhaustion, a "too high" epidural, and the fentanyl I required to let them put a needle in my spine (remember, I'm a retired chiro!)...then they kicked him and the newborn out while the anesthesiologist tried to help me breathe b/c it was messing with the spinal nerves going to my lungs, woohoo!
I tell you...my story literally can go for HOURS. I talked poor Cheryl's ear off one night, and she still only heard a part of the whole thing. I actually forget the whole story from telling to telling, and remember things later on... I've told the whole thing only twice...once to my stepmom (a later-in-life NICU nurse who had 3 all natural unencumbered births but ultimately doesn't "get" me and has no emotion b/c of being married to my father) and once to my Bradley teacher..
Anyway omg I'm doing it again! I'm sorry!
Thanks for all the support. Sometimes when I vent I run off and hide...today I decided to be brave and I'm so thankful that you all have been nice to me. It does help.
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Remember the other day I mentioned flylady, and how I wanted to start it, etc? Well hubby and I have kept the sink nice and clean for 6 nights now! Yay for us! I've also been working on the laundry, folding it as I take clothes out of the dryer etc. So far I'm only able to do that with E's clothes, the sheets and towels...Robert's and my clothes continue to just get piled up...but it's a start! Robert mentioned how EASY it is to just maintain that clean sink instead of having to do dishes for an hour or more when it gets too piled up. He's very happy I mentioned it and started doing it (now we take turns or wash the dishes together).
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Eamon came out of his room and sat and did some crafts across from me. He kept singing "mother may I" for some reason (ooh I should watch Mamma Mia!), and then when he'd done enough gluing work, he said "OK, bye!" and ran off to his room again. Funny kid.
But thanks for offering to be there for me, you guys are all the best.
