The NICU nurse in me is too scared to try a VBAC after 2 sections. I've seen the bad outcomes. Actually, I'm surprised I've had children at all given what I've seen!
Remember, you are seeing things that are already bad. If they are there, they are bad. I try to tell this to my stepmom all the time (well, not anymore, she's too far gone now, her stories of her kids' births have actually changed since she's been a nurse, it's pretty freaky!). You and my stepmom aren't seeing the good things. You're seeing things that are already bad.
And statistics don't bear out a VBA2C being more dangerous than having a third major abdominal surgery. Surgery is just about always more dangerous to the mother (and if you already have a child or children at home, you matter very
VERY much). So be SURE to really find the statistics, read the studies, find where they studies are lacking (find out how many times the researchers went through the exact SAME group of cohorts to extra DIFFERENT information!). You want to know you're making a sound decision, not just think you are b/c you've seen bad things.
Molly, my first baby was posterior and I had a HORRIFIC hospital delivery with back labor, two shots of stadol (which I never wanted), and a very late epidural which kicked in just in time for me to push (lovely). That horrible experience is why my next two children were born at a freestanding birthing center in the water (LOVE water-births) with no drugs and a lovely midwife helping me. This is also why I became a certified Doula several years back (not currently doing Doula work, though). I can't believe your midwives bailed on you like that. I would think that one would have backed the other up (as in one resting at home in order to relieve the other one after a long shift). I'm sorry you had such a bad experience, but it took my first bad experience to help me shape the next two positive birth experiences. Isn't it amazing how much that first birth teaches you?
What sucks about WA is that VBAC at a birth center isn't allowed.
What sucks is that I chose to NOT go to a birth center here in Tacoma, b/c it's owned by an OB, and I didn't want an OB having power over me.
And that OB is the one my midwives were consulting with behind my back.
After telling me that LMs in WA COULD NOT and WOULD NOT consult with an OB, that it was outside the realms of their license, and they insulted the midwife I'd fired, b/c she worked with OBs.
The practice I hired...it had an elder midwife and a younger one. I hired them for the elder. Loved her. Met the younger as an afterthought. Never gelled with her. The two midwives felt different things than each other did, and the younger insulted the elder's palpation skills. The younger had me take herbal teas and didn't note it in my charts. Insulted the elder for bad note-taking, b/c she had completely forgotten she had put me on them. Late in the game I had fears...how will baby come out??? Instead of picking up the pelvis model and the baby model that were *right there next to her* and showing me exactly how baby would come out, she LAUGHED at me.
At one point the receptionist let me know that the elder was going away...right after my 40 week mark. I tried to find out more, and isntead of information, I got a nasty phone call from the younger, asking why I didn't like her, what was my problem, blah blah.
So I got the younger midwife and their apprentice. The apprentice had tried to get me to hire a doula from the moment they realized the elder wouldn't be there. Urged me all the time. I didn't understand why, thought she would be in that role. Oh Oh oh I was so WRONG.
I will never know (b/c I will never speak to them again) why they didin't just call someone else. Why they had to pretend to leave (which is illegal b/c you can't dump a pregnant woman without 30 days notice unless you have someone lined up for her, and you CERTAINLY can't dump a laboring woman) the way they did I will never know. Why they lied, why they snuck castor oil in my eggs, why they criticized the way I was laboring, the noises I was making, the tension in my face...I will never EVER know.
But the same pair did the same thing to a friend of a friend down in Olympia, not 3 months later.
In the future I'll head to Oregon, where the midwifery laws are sane. I'll hire someone who I can trust and who I like. Who is open with her life (the elder midwife's life partner is an neonatologist, and the neonatologist had just lost her license for assisting midwives in some way, and they were fighting the state but no one told me this, I found it out after the fact), who won't lie to me, and if she can't care for me, will call someone who can.
If I can ever get pg again, and I'm not sure that'll be possible!
Also Callie...the midwives I hired were in Olympia, and I was in Federal Way. I paid extra to them for the mileage, but they should have never taken me on (and I believe they do not take people further away than Tacoma anymore). Long pregnancy (against WA's rules), long labor (against WA's rules), and so far away from their families with a woman they never actually liked (who was finding out that 3/4 of the things they said when she hired them were flat out LIES) = disaster for all involved!
And YES, it has shaped me into a different person than I was before, most definitely! If all of this hadn't happened, I am sure I would have complained about some tiny little thing that happened...my chiro complains about something that happened in her labor, and I don't say this to her, but I think "I would do anything to have only that to complain about"...but if it all hadn't happened, that is exactly the same thing I would have complained about.
The friend from the November college-friends "girls trip" I took to see Madonna...she wouldn't let me talk about any of this...even though SHE still complains about the Nubain given to her with both kids...she got the exact delivery she wanted with the exact doctor at the exact hospital...but she complains b/c she felt "weird" b/c of the Nubain...but wouldn't let me speak to her about all that happened...not even once.
My GOSH I'm just blithering all day today! DS is doing more crafts next to me, LOL, singing away...
I tried to get him to take a nap, but he was having none of that!
I've seen miracles in the NICU also, and so I try to focus on those, while remembering the ones we lost.
Got it. 
uh, no but why are we talking about this?! I said I don't know of any because I'm not looking, pretty much.
) but if I did get married I would have no problems staying at home with the kids. I told her, it's all good with me, whatever God has planned, I'm cool with it. I tell ya, I'm a very easy going kind of person. 
Have you checked out the website? It's something like 
