"Girl" potty training issues

[ChrizJen]

Warning: If you're not a parent, you probably don't want to read this...

OK, so DD is 3 and is almost completely potty trained (she still has some accidents while sleeping).
The only problem we have is the wiping thing. We've beein working and working with her to make sure that she wipes front to back. But she just doesn't seem to be getting it!

And to add to the problem, the teachers at her preschool don't seem to help at all when they use the restroom at school. Last night she came home hurting and raw. We were so upset!!

So last night and this morning, I told her that she needs to make sure that if she has a BM, to let a teacher know so they can help her, and this morning when I dropped her off at school, I asked if they could just give her a little help with it. They seemed receptive to it, but I wonder why they wouldn't help 3 yr olds in the bathroom anyway without being asked to?

Am I just delusional in thinking that my DD is probably not the only child having problems with this???

Also, anyone have any advice on how to get her using the "proper wiping technique"??

 

[mjkacmom]

We started with using flushable wipes - our preschool teachers absolutely couldn't help the children wipe. She's really going to need to learn on her own.

 

[PollyannaMom]

...this morning when I dropped her off at school, I asked if they could just give her a little help with it. They seemed receptive to it, but I wonder why they wouldn't help 3 yr olds in the bathroom anyway without being asked to? ...

Sadly, I don't think they are allowed to help unless you specifically ask them to, because otherwise you could accuse them of abuse. -- I know, it's a crazy world when everyone is taught to assume the worst, but that's probably what they were told.

As for teaching your DD, I second the moist wipes.

 

[ChrizJen]

Yeah, I know she needs to learn. We've really been working hard at home on it, but like I said, it's just not clicking. Every time she complains of "issues", we remind her that she wouldn't have those problems if she wiped the right way. And she seems to get it, but then she just goes back to wiping the wrong way. I know eventually she'll get it.
And I hadn't thought about the flushable wipes. Those woould probably help! We'll try that. Thanks!

And PollyannaMom: That makes sense. It is a shame that the world is the way it is, but you're probably right.

 

[simba20]

DD was having wiping issues too. Back in October she had her first UTI and scared us two weeks ago with what we thought was a reoccurance, until the doctor noted that she was still a bit "dirty" down there, plus the urine check came back okay......

Anyway, I sent a package of flushable wipes to school with a note for her teacher explaining the situation (hubster drops DD off in the mornings). Really though, it just takes repetition and explanation for DD to understand about wiping. At home I am always in the bathroom with her (to check) as well as remind her how to wipe. I taught her that when wiping her tush, she needs to squat and bend her knees to...ummm...get in there. I am OCD about her tush being clean...don't want any undie surprises.

Anyway, your one step ahead one me. I put DD in a pull-up at bedtime, as I really don;t want to deal with night-time accidents. We just took away DD's paci, so we are waiting another pack or two of pull-ups before we do night-training/no pull-ups at night. We were going to do it the other night, when we got down tto he last pull-up, but that also coincided with taking away DD's paci (actually we lost her last paci Sunday night at Lowe's, so it was a force of nature).

 

[smb6]

Her wiping problems are normal. My ds has been fully potty trained since 2.5 and he is now 4.5 and I still help him wipe. He started prek this year and they don't help him though. So, I have to put diaper rash ointment on him sometimes as a result.

He didn't go to day care regular, but I put him in every once in a while as a drop in. One day when he was just shy of 3, they asked me to put him in the 3yr room since he was fully potty trained. I told the teacher he sometimes needed help getting pants up and down and would need help wiping also. She told me she had to many kids to help one in the bathroom and that in the 3yr room they must do everything there self. I was upset and pulled him- he only went a few times per month anyways; I just took him with me the rest of the year and then he started prek this year. But atleast now he can do his pants, but we just deal with the occasional rash from lack of wiping properly....
And I have four older kids and they needed help wiping a long while after they were potty trained also, so I know it's normal....

 

[Donaldswife]

Totally normal for 3, and I am another one that used the flushable wipes, they helped a lot. Matter of fact, we ALL use them now, really gets everything much cleaner than dry TP. I promise this will pass. By Kindergarten she will be a pro, just takes some practice!

 

[Mrs. Charming]

Yeh, DD isn't great with wiping either. For awhile she'd tear off TP and put it in the toilet. I was teaching DD to "blot" her awhile and that seemed to help.

 

[torinsmom]

I teach 4-5 year olds, and even when I taught in a room that included 3's, we did not do bathroom help. There is the possibility of a child making accusations, which is a huge deterrent. Another reason is that with 20 kids, we don't have time to help in the bathroom every time a child needs it. Last reason(at least for me) is that I do not enjoy wiping behinds. That's one of the reason I have never wanted to teach in an infant or toddler program. Just being honest here.

 

[SandrA9810]

I had a huge phobia of touching poop when I wiped my butt. It took years before I did it on my own properly.

 

[NAB]

Heck my dd is 10 and still once and while need the diaper creme on her butt.

It is just practice, practice for them. I don't like the idea of the wet wipes because they will never learn on there own to clean themselves.

She is only 3 she will get it. Just keep showing her or reminding her. If she wears pull ups at night that could irrate once and while too. My son was in good nights a long time and he to once and while need that creme.

 

[okeydokey]

A friend of mine teaches kindergarten and she had several kids this year that wanted her to wipe them. She refused. This is elementary school. They didn't know how to get their pants on and off themselves either.

Thank you for teaching her now when she is 3.

 

[torinsmom]

Note: This post is not directed at the OP. Sounds like her daughter just needs more practice, and maybe more moist wipes for school to make the wiping easier.

I have the kids who can't pull up their pants, snap, put on their coat, etc. These guys are 4 and 5, and I don't know why they aren't able to do most of these things themselves. My son was practicing these things at 2 and 3.

OT somewhat.......It is one of my pet peeves when parents dress their kids in clothes they cannot manage themselves, like hard buttons, belts, and shoes that tie. Then of course, they want to be upset at me when I don't have time to take care of their child's personal needs. My son did not have tie shoes until he was 7, because he couldn't do them independently. He wore velcro, zipper or slip on shoes when he was at school until he learned. Shoestrings especially are gross when they drag on the ground, get chewed on, etc. I REALLY hate touching kids' shoestrings(Insert sick smiley, which I cannot find)

When kids have bathroom accidents they can't take care of themselves, we are told to call the parents to come and take care of it.

 

[ChrizJen]

Thanks for the replies. I think we were upset in the moment about the situation, but the more I've had time to think about it, (and thanks to the input of the teachers here! ) the more I understand the situation her teachers are in. She's in a relatively small class (10 three-yr-olds), but that's still 10 kids the teahcer has to keep up with; lesson plans, meals, snacks, behavior issues, etc...I can certainly see where it would be difficult for her to leave the rest of the kids to tend to someone in the bathroom.
As I said, we're really working with DD on it every time she goes at home or when we're out, and eventually I know she'll get it. She's just one of those kids that seems to really "get" the mechanichal things (like dressing herself, putting on her coat, zipping, etc.) really quickly, so it's just a minor frustration for us that she hasn't caught on to this yet.

Thanks again for the replies!!