Gifts that require you to spend money

[Katy Belle]

This has happened to us several times lately. Not a big deal, and not a big amount of money....but when I give a gift, I give the whole gift. At Christmas my MIL gave DH a gazing ball for the garden, with no stand. She even said, "You will have to buy a stand.". Ok...strange. This weekend she gave the kids a M&M dispenser thing, kind of like a gumball machine, with no M&Ms. SIL gave me one of those Scentsy warmer things, with no wax things to go in it.

So, does this happen to you frequently?

 

[QVCshopper]

No. In fact, my MIL gave me a bird feeder with a bag of seed. Maybe it's just your in-laws not thinking things through... Or trying to save money. Oh well, everyone's different.

 

[abbyndrewmom]

Thanks goodness no, I also always try to make sure I give a "whole" present, including batteries if required. Maybe like a previous poster said they just didn't think the present through.

 

[okeydokey]

No, if you need to buy stuff for it, it's not actually a gift.

 

[Gina]

I HATE that. One year, my dad and his wife gave DS an ant farm. Inside, it tells you where to send your money to actually buy the ants that go into the dumb thing. Let's see... we live in a sub-tropical clime where bugs are a constant problem. Yeah, I'm going to send money so that I can import even *more* bugs into our house. Um, I don't think so!!

 

[ceecee]

I would love to get a gazing ball! Mine fell off the stand and broke! I wouldn't be too upset after all it's the thought that counts. Bad for the kids if they wanted to use the M&M dispenser right away though. DD got a goldfish in a plastic bag as a birthday party favor one year and I had to buy a tank and food, gravel, etc...Cost $30, but we had Goldie for 4 years.

 

[katesorad]

To go with my SIL's birthday gifts this year, I got a her a book light and one of those fun shaped touch lights. I forgot to throw batteries in the gift bag! I felt really bad. She's just left for college, so I wanted to make a themed birthday gift.. I think I did well, all except for forgetting the batteries!

I don't think I've ever really gotten any gifts that weren't "complete". For my MIL's birthday/Mother's Day (we combine them since they're in the same week.. just get her a bigger gift), we got a her a whole bag full of baking items since she loves to bake. I got her some nice King Arthur Flour flour and baking mixes, almond extract, an oven protector, etc.. so I like to do really complete and themed gifts so that it doesn't leave anybody confused or anything like that.

 

[annsteere]

We received a gift card to a restaurant. That would be nice except that the amount of the gift card will NO WAY cover dinner for two even if we skip appetizers, drinks, and desserts.

 

[annsteere]

DH, a former professional photographer, donated his services to shoot a wedding. (Long story, their photographer bombed out about 10 days before the service).

Rather than at least offering to cover out of pocket costs for printing, CD's etc., we got a gift card to a hotel. The gift card didn't cover the cost of a single night. It wasn't exchangeable and the hotel did not have a restaurant.

All I could imagine is that somebody gave it to the couple for a piece of their honeymoon and it got regifted.

 

[annsteere]

Last, but not least, a gift of "art" by the donor. Not something we'd requested. But something that needed a frame before it could be displayed.

 

[Gigi22]

Wedding gift from my DSis--not sure what she was thinking at the time, she is usually very good at gifts--an unframed piece of art. It cost a darn fortune to have framed because it is so large.

 

[Pigeon]

I HATE that. One year, my dad and his wife gave DS an ant farm. Inside, it tells you where to send your money to actually buy the ants that go into the dumb thing. Let's see... we live in a sub-tropical clime where bugs are a constant problem. Yeah, I'm going to send money so that I can import even *more* bugs into our house. Um, I don't think so!!

My MIL tried that one year. I said, "Oh, a gift that's going to stay at Grandma's house." That was the last we heard about the ant farm.

 

[Wiloughby1]

My in-laws prefer completely age-INAPPROPRIATE toys for our kids- like remote control helicopters for my 3y/o and balloon animal kits for my 1y/o and require that we open them before the kids even have dinner. Nice triple whammy- kids won't eat because they got a new toy, kids can't use toy because it's beyond their skill sets, and we can't return them because MIL destroys every box she touches as she insists on opening things immediately.

GAH. Loathe them right now. If they need to throw away money (which they DON'T) add it to the kids' bank accounts and spend time playing with them! Skip the heartbreaking junk! My kids like time far more than toys.

 

[mjkacmom]

One gift I don't really get is a movie theater gift card for one child. Obviously, the child can't go alone, and for our family, movies out aren't frequent, because of the cost, so when one child gets a gc, it costs me quite a bit.

 

[Forevryoung]

My parents (who are awesome with gifts) inadvertently did it for my birthday by getting me exactly what I asked for

I had asked for an IPod Touch for my birthday, told my parents exactly where and when to get it on sale. I was so excited to get it working and download apps and stuff.

I plugged it into my 5 year old Macbook and get a "you need an operating system upgrade" message

So I purchased a larger hard drive since mine was 80GB and Leopard (newer OS) costing me around $200 after all was said and done.

It worked out in the end because the upgrade will allow me to keep my laptop another 2-3 years.

 

[cjnix29]

I've got one to top it off. My in laws bought my brother in law a lawn game for his birthday. But it cost them more than they usually spend on him for his birthday. So they told him that in order for him to get it, he would have to pay the difference between what it costs and what they spend on him! He didn't even want the darn thing!

 

[Redwitch]

Several years ago, DBF gave me a satellite radio. I'm still paying the subscription fee!

 

[albertamommyof4]

I don't think people are looking at this right. it is the thought that counts. Now i do understand that you can't use the ball with out the stand, but a gift without batteries, well go out and buy some. Just think about this my daughter had a birthday party and one of the girls bought some of her own too small and old with holes clothes and a wallet that was wrecked but you know what my daughter still said thank you and said that the birthday party was fun as it had all her friends there to celebrate with her.

 

[cheshireqt]

Background - When DH switched jobs he lost all of his saved leave and had to rebuild the leave, thus we could not go anywhere that summer -including ILs. ILs own a house and 1 BR beach condo 45 minutes from their house. Well they refused to come see us and behaved like horrible brats for 9 months over it, even though we had never once committed to coming to see them that summer. Horrible brats is not even enough of a description. Despite that we went to see them for Christmas (16 hrs driving b/c they are not convenient to an airport and we NEED a car when we are with them), because it was "their turn." Never ever again, they behaved like horrible b-r-a-t-s all through Christmas. And their gift to us was a small, small part of the antics they pulled.... a beach bag with three dollar store items in it and a card that said they were giving us a week at "their" beach the coming summer. All we had to do was give up what little leave DH would have by that summer (all the leave that DH had was spent on Christmas with them), pay to get there again, and pay for the condo; we would pay but MIL would pick, but they would provide the rest! Aren't they generous to plan our entire summer vacation, make that back to back vacations (winter and summer) and all we have to do is pay!? Oh and it was not because they did not have $ to at least pay some portion of their "gift". They bought a third place, a house in AL the following month, redid the kitchen in the beach condo 2 months later and took a 2 week trip to Hawaii that Spring!
I will always see this the way it was intended, as a selfish, unscrupulous present to themselves.

 

[Katy Belle]

I don't think people are looking at this right. it is the thought that counts. Now i do understand that you can't use the ball with out the stand, but a gift without batteries, well go out and buy some. Just think about this my daughter had a birthday party and one of the girls bought some of her own too small and old with holes clothes and a wallet that was wrecked but you know what my daughter still said thank you and said that the birthday party was fun as it had all her friends there to celebrate with her.

OP here... I agree and I was gracious and always thank the gifter, of course! I even said in my OP that it isn't a big deal, I just find it weird.

Now....when it comes to "its the thought that counts" I sometimes wonder "What WERE they thinking???" SIL gave DS a tin of candy for Christmas one year...when he went to open it she said ..."Oh, don't eat it! Its probably really old, I got it at a Thrift shop." Really??? What was the thought? And what does it count for?? The tin was nothing special...nothing that pertained to anything he was interested in. I guess the thought is that you are obligated to give a gift...and you don't care enough to find something suitable, or even edible.