Gift giving! What happened to a more simple Christmas?

[Ziva]

What do you want for Christmas? I NEED this/that and the other thing! The whole gift giving thing in general has gotten way out of control, I just wish we could do away with it all sometimes.

What ever happened to giving a small heart felt gift? Now it's bigger and better, have to find the perfect gift! My family always asks me want do I want? I hate that question, I really don't want anything, especially telling someone to get me something, it makes me so uncomfortable. I always respond I don't know just get me whatever you want to. Then I have to listen to everyone compete on what to get our parents, siblings, to out do one another, it's all just a big contest.

We keep things mellow at our house, the kids get a small amount of presents compared to many of their friends/cousins but they appreciate and love what they get each time. We've always taught our kids the difference between "need" and "want", something I think is lacking in general nowadays, my siblings think I'm a party pooper. When it comes to my extended family they get their kids this enourmous pile of presents, the kids tear through opening and then 1/2 the stuff is ignored and hardly played with. Yet they say they feel bad for our kids, Oy!

Anyone else try to have a more simple Christmas in regards to the whole gift giving aspect?

 

[Pop Daddy]

I want expensive stuff

 

[disykat]

I'm with you! Every year I watch everyone go nuts and then complain about how their kids have too much stuff and don't play with it. We've always tried to keep it fairly minimal.

I actually like the "what do you want" question though. If we're doing the gift thing, I'd rather get stuff I want. In my extended family (my parents, siblings, etc.) we don't ask, so I try to get dh to get me something I actually want - unfortunately he insists on surprising me. It seems like such a waste of money to get a bunch of stuff you never use.

 

[Ziva]

It seems like such a waste of money to get a bunch of stuff you never use.

I never looked at it that way. I just feel so weird saying buy me this, that. How do you do it, give a bunch of different ideas or specifics?

 

[disykat]

I never looked at it that way. I just feel so weird saying buy me this, that. How do you do it, give a bunch of different ideas or specifics?

I don't. I've tried with my dh, but he won't buy me anything I say I want (like "I'd love a new watch for Christmas") because he says it wouldn't be a surprise. My family sees it the same way and never talks about presents before they are given. So I get stuff, much of which is never used, and then have to go out and buy myself a new watch anyway.

 

[Marseeya]

Maybe this sounds materialistic, but honestly, I'd rather get nothing than a bunch of junk. My MIL is so bad for this -- she give the kids clothes that never fit, and of course she bought them from a bargain bin and we can't return them. The toys she buys them are usually not age appropriate (crayola crayon maker for my 13 yo ds?). I'd rather get a $5 well thought out gift than $50 of junk that's given just for the sake of giving. My mom used to be really bad about that. She'd just as soon give you 10 $10 cheap gifts than 1 $100 nicer gift.

I'd just rather give something that I know people will want and will be able to use. It doesn't mean spending a lot of money, but just putting some thought into it.

DH and I don't do lists because we know each other's tastes so well, but I do prefer a list (or maybe "guidelines") from other people.

 

[EthansMom]

We have a much more simple Christmas than our brothers and their wives.

This year, the kids (4 and 1.5) are getting stockings and 1 gift from Santa and 1 bigger and 2 smaller gifts per child from Mom and Dad, plus one medium joint gift from Mom and Dad. We probably spend $200-$250 per child.

Our children's cousins receive at least $1000 worth of "stuff", all of it from Santa (they don't have to say "Thank You"). By the end of Christmas Day, at least 10% of the toys are broken or missing pieces. By the end of the week, a total of 25% of their gifts are broken, missing pieces, or otherwise rendered useless in some fashion.

I could go on and on, but the short version is that I think people do their children an injustice when they don't raise them to have respect for their belongings or even other people's belongings (the cousins can be counted on to break one of my children's toys any time they visit -- we actually put away our kids' Christmas presents and more expensive toys before the cousins visit).

 

[bigbabyblues]

We try to keep it fairly simple too. Unless someone specifically says something they really want (like my dad and his drill bits this year, lol), I just try to find things I think they'll like. My dad/grandpa/FIL are usually the exceptions, if they say something I snatch it up because they're hard to buy for.

My kids don't get much compared to a lot of my friends' kids, but they don't know it yet. This year they're each getting 5 things (about $100 each total) from us, and their stockings. They will also get plenty from my parents and DH parents, and DH grandma, and his sister.

My MIL asked for a list from me, and I gave it to her. I told her some ideas of things I would like and she'll pick from it. She actually knows my taste really well and always picks things I like. If only she'd have waited a week, our fridge died Wednesday (yes, the day before Thanksgiving of all days, lol) and she could have gotten us a new one and been done with it easily! We did find a scratch and dent for $250 but that's beside the point.....

 

[Brianne]

Maybe this sounds materialistic, but honestly, I'd rather get nothing than a bunch of junk. My MIL is so bad for this -- she give the kids clothes that never fit, and of course she bought them from a bargain bin and we can't return them. The toys she buys them are usually not age appropriate (crayola crayon maker for my 13 yo ds?). I'd rather get a $5 well thought out gift than $50 of junk that's given just for the sake of giving. My mom used to be really bad about that. She'd just as soon give you 10 $10 cheap gifts than 1 $100 nicer gift.

You have my MIL. I'm really, terribly sorry about that--I thought I locked the door behind me.

We finally managed to convince the grandparents to give money to the kids for Christmas. We don't have a lot of space, and with 4 kids, even the smallest amount of stuff can get overwhelming! Instead of buying more stuff with the money given to them, we've instead bought them seasonal WDW passes every year. That way, the grandparents all know the money's gone towards something the kids actually enjoy & use quite often---and we don't have a bunch of stuff lying around.

 

[airhead]

Every year we go nuts trying to buy the perfect gift for everyone! It gets too crazy. Shopping consumes every weekend and spare moment,not leaving any time for visiting,baking and just enjoying the Christmas season. Last year it got so crazy we didn't even put up our tree until 3 days before Christmas!!
So,we decided that we would end all the shopping for all adults in our families.
We buy for the kids only. We will have a party at our house (we NEVER would have had the time for that if we were still shopping!)this year instead. We're already enjoying our shopping-free Christmas!
My partner and I also agreed not to buy each other presents. Our gift this year is a new puppy! Ya can't top that!!

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Yes--we keep the quanitity down and do a blend of the 3 gifts from the 3 wise men and the "something to play with, something to read, something to wear and something you need".

So basically my kids will get one toy--and the other items will be non-toy stuff. .

Still working on hubby's in-laws. They do lists and we still do a family wide gift exchange. But at least you have an idea of the persons' tastes and what they want/need.

My mother this year is giving the girls Disney Dollars since we will be at Disney World for the Marathon in early January. She's seen their overstuffed room and doesn't wish to contribute to the mess anymore. What a nice mommy!

 

[WDWMom]

We only buy for our parents, and they are gifts that we think they need/want, our children who each receive 3 gifts (no one believes in Santa anymore), and each other.

Our children trade names with their cousins so with 3 kids that's three more presents but I take them out shopping and they get to pick. We usually have a list.

Dh and I buy for each other and the kids get us stuff too. Usually small things like golf balls and lotion.

Our children but each other something too. The year DD wants a bathrobe and slippers. Her brothers will get those for her. DD bought her brother a book today. She did it because she saw it and knew he wanted it. Made me want to cry that she thought of him.

So we try to keep it simple. Try for practical gifts for immediate family and wants for extended.

 

[WDWLVR]

We just have adults now and with my MIL getting layed out from her job we've finally been able to convince them to scale back the giving. So this year we each made a list of things we would like. We put all the lists in a bag and each pulled one out. All we buy for is that person. So we'll still all get a gift this Christmas, we'll get something we want (the surprise being we don't know what on the list they are buying) and it won't cost near what it did before. The couples will still buy for each other, but DH and I stopped that years ago. Now our trips are our gifts to each other. This years is to Disneyland. 4 days at Disneyland with the man I love is a great gift!

 

[Stitchy_Baby_626]

Wow I feel really lucky because I get quite a lot for Christmas and so do my three siblings and 2 step brothers.

Donna
xxx

 

[momof1princess]

well, this year, my side of the family is doing something different: we're buying for the children, as usual, but the twist is: my aunt & uncle sponsor a child in africa, a boy, and my family is going to combine our money to buy him & his family something special for christmas. last year, with 30.00 they bought him & his family a goat (for milk) & a chicken (for eggs)-perhaps with all of us contributing there'll be enough money for a cow?

 

[bigbabyblues]

How do you do it, give a bunch of different ideas or specifics?

DH and I usually each come up with a list of things we'd like, then we set our spending budget for each other and we have the list for ideas. Neither of us gets everything on the list, and we pick things not on the list sometimes too. DH has always been good at finding things I like, with or without a list, and i'm lucky that way.

 

[HenDuck]

I just dread the amount of money, time and emotional energy it takes just to get to Christmas Day. No one I know even talks about the origin of the holiday!

I would be happier if we skipped all the gifts and just sat around a nice dinner and maybe talked about who Christ was (and I'm not even Christian).

It would be WAY better than buying everyone gift cards - like I'm doing this year - because everyone already HAS EVERYTHING THEY NEED!!!!

It's crazy when people have so much already and yet we feel forced to buy them more stuff that they already have, don't need and/or don't want.

Thanks for allowing me to vent...I needed that!

 

[Nana Annie]

We stopped buying for the adults a few years ago. We still buy for the kids, but in our extended family, the adults exchange ornaments during a family dinner. It has become a very fun tradition. Not only are the gifts relatively inexpensive, but each year, when we put up our tree, we have fun remembering the dinner party and all the silliness that went along with it.

And we all don't have some tchotke that may not be our taste - you only have to deal with the relative's gifts once a year

 

[bettyann29]

I try to keep it simple as far as the gifts.. I have a certain dollar amt and thats all I spend.. I do try tolisten to them throughout the year and get something they would like or enjoy.. I dont really buy them much throughout the year except for Chrstmas and their birthdays.. In past I have spent alot of money on each of them but have minimized that because they have everything they NEED, as if they need somthing they get it.. but its the wants that I try to keep down..

 

[Disney Doll]

I have been in the mode for the last few years that we are losing the meaning of Christmas. Then I read threads about the fistfight at Wal-Mart, and I know we are losing the meaning, if we haven't lost it already!!

I don't need anything. Truthfully, I can't think of anything I even really want. I am fortunate to be very happy & contented with my life. I'd be happy if everyone took the $$ they were going to spend on my Christmas gifts and donated it to a charity.

One of my SILs is fixated on Christmas. Whatever you send her isn't good enough or the right thing or there's some problem with it. Last year I made a donation to her late parents' favorite charity in her honor and their memory. I figured that trying to please her was a waste of $$, so instead of wasting $$, I'd give it to someone who'd put it to good use. Well, what a scene that caused!!!! A 48 year old woman, and she was all upset about not having a tangible gift to open. Same woman who goes on and on about how she misses her late parents...yaddda, yadda...and yet, when I do something to memorialize them and honor her at the same time, it becomes "but I don't have a gift to open"!!!!! Are we 5 years old??? Is a $12.99 sweater from Kohls more important to you than the meaning behind the season??? And this is the same SIL who is constantly telling everyone what a wonderful, devout Catholic she is, yet the "giving" part of Christmas is the thing she "doesn't get".

After lkast Christmas, all DH's siblings had a conversation & decided that they'd donate to a scholarship fund in their parents' memory at our parish for the Catholic school. Our parish was also their lifelong parish, and all the kids went to grammar school at the school. Great idea, right?

Well, a couple of weeks ago I got the "what do you want for Christmas here's our list" e-mail. I e-mailed her back reminding her of last year's decision. I haven't heard anything back yet, so I must be off her Christmas list and onto another list!!!!!!!!