Gift for sibling when second child is born

[pl'smama]

Hi everyone, I was hoping to get some suggestions or ideas as to what I can get my DD ( almost 6) for when her sibling is born ( in about six weeks)!! I want my DD to feel special and as much a part of this whole thing as possible. I will be in hospital for four days due to a planned C Section and to top it off my DD's 6th birthday will happen while I am in the hospital. She is a very smart child, but the jealousy issue cropped up several months ago. One minute she is super happy about the baby and the next she wonders how we could possibly still love her when the baby is here.

Any thoughts, suggestions or what not would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you, Suz

 

[roscoepc1]

Personally, I don't agree with this trend. The new baby is the gift....

And the baby's gifts? Well, life isn't fair, and I don't think you do kids any favours by always making things "fair". Everyone needs to learn that the planets don't revolve around their pretty little head, kwim?

Now, I don't mean this in a mean way. Please don't take it that way. I always just praised my older kids for being my "big helpers" when a new baby came (fetching diapers etc, making bottles, and so on....), and showered them with lots of love....I bottle-fed, so maybe that made things easier, b/c someone else could feed baby while I did something with older sib....

One thing I DID do was to NOT be the one carrying/holding the baby the first time the older sibling(s) saw me and the baby....I had my arms available for them. I think that made a good "first impression" for them....Mommy still had arms/time for them, kwim?

 

[Mandychelle79]

Does she like webkins? We had a gift for my dd when ds was born but we did it From our DS to his big sissy.

My sister had my neice last year the day before my dds 5th bday. I think they got small gifts from my neice. we also had my dds bday cake in my sisters room, and took her to CEC later in the week.

 

[pl'smama]

Personally, I don't agree with this trend. The new baby is the gift....

And the baby's gifts? Well, life isn't fair, and I don't think you do kids any favours by always making things "fair". Everyone needs to learn that the planets don't revolve around their pretty little head, kwim?

Now, I don't mean this in a mean way. Please don't take it that way. I always just praised my older kids for being my "big helpers" when a new baby came (fetching diapers etc, making bottles, and so on....), and showered them with lots of love....I bottle-fed, so maybe that made things easier, b/c someone else could feed baby while I did something with older sib....

One thing I DID do was to NOT be the one carrying/holding the baby the first time the older sibling(s) saw me and the baby....I had my arms available for them. I think that made a good "first impression" for them....Mommy still had arms/time for them, kwim?

Thanks for taking the time to reply Laura. Unfortunately not all kids feel that a new baby is a "gift", at least not right away. I have had several months to contemplate this and watch my DD and see how this whole thing is affecting her. Maybe it is her age, but I feel the need to include her in this new baby thing more than just being able to hug her. That will be a huge part of it to be sure, but since I will be strapped to a hospital bed for the first 24 hours after the C Section I may not be able to even see my DD right away. I have never spent even one night apart from her so this whole thing will be emotional on many levels.

I think my DD's age is a big part of my decision. She is old enough to be happy for others when they receive a gift and she loves to shop for presents for others for things like Christmas, birthdays etc... However, to see this little, sweet being join your family and instantly be fawned over is going to be hard for her, regardless of how happy everyone else will be. Someone once told me to think of it like this; Pretend your husband came home one day and introduced you to a beautiful, much younger woman and said she was his new wife, but that I would still be his wife to. Everyone thought she was lovely and sweet and pretty got all the attention I used to. Wouldn't this tick you off??

At any rate I want my DD to feel special at this time to.

Suz

 

[pl'smama]

Does she like webkins? We had a gift for my dd when ds was born but we did it From our DS to his big sissy.

My sister had my neice last year the day before my dds 5th bday. I think they got small gifts from my neice. we also had my dds bday cake in my sisters room, and took her to CEC later in the week.

Thanks Mandy, yes she does like Webkins. Several kids got them at her school for Christmas and this has peaked her interest. I will look into this one for sure.

We are also thinking of having cupcakes in my room on DD's birthday. Nothing big, since it will be quiet, but at least to mark the day in a unique way!!

Thanks again, Suz

 

[LisaMommy]

What about a baby doll? So when you're feeding the real baby, she can feed the doll, or when little brother or sister needs his/her diaper changed she can do the same for her dolly.

 

[pl'smama]

What about a baby doll? So when you're feeding the real baby, she can feed the doll, or when little brother or sister needs his/her diaper changed she can do the same for her dolly.

Thank you Lisa, I have thought of a baby doll, but I am not sure on this yet. A friend suggested a doll that cries etc.., but this just might annoy DD eventually and turn her off the real baby!!! I have gone so far as to look for types of dolls that can be fed,changed etc.., because some don't have that option. I think a trip to the store is in order to see how they all look up close.

Thanks for your reply. I apprecaite it!

Suz

 

[jennilynn510]

when my last DS arrived i packed in my hospital bag a gift for my existing DS & DD (the the time ages 6 & 3) it worked out wondeful. i just picked what they were currently into (pokemon cards & littlest pet shops). when the arrived at the hospital with DH i did make sure i wasnt holding the baby & gave bigs hugs. THEN i sat them down with the new DS and gave them their gifts, told them he was so excited to be their baby brother & wanted to show them how much he already loved them. it was a HUGE HIT. my DD who was the jealous one was just so amazed that her baby brother knew what she liked
good luck & try not to sweat the small stuff, trust me it all works out in the end

 

[NotUrsula]

We gave DS a DS; a Nintendo DS, that is. He was a bit older, though; just turned 9, and not at ALL happy to be getting a sibling. (After 18 months, he's just now starting to come around to sort of liking her.)

We gave it to him primarily for situations like having to take the baby to the ped and waiting around in doctors offices, etc. It wasn't a "fairness" thing of "the baby gets a present and so do you"; it was more as a consolation gift for being usurped of his place as the only child.

 

[dezimber]

You could also plan activites or outings with your DD without baby so that she can have time and special moments with you that aren't focused around the baby.

 

[strmtroopr96]

Our DD's are almost 7 years apart and there weren't even any cousins on my side of the family until DD2 came along. Therefore our oldest DD9 was the only child and used to that for many years. And she was NOT happy at all when we announced we pregnant!!

At my shower for DD2, my Mom had the cake decorated to say "Congratulations Rebecca & Emily" so that she was included. We also gave her a baby doll that I had actually bought when she was a toddler and stored away until whenever we had another baby. We also gave a singing Belle doll.

Before her sister was born, we took Emily to Build a Bear to make a special Teddy to give her in the hospital. Later on, DH and I also made a trip back to make a second bear for a gift to Emily from the new baby. Just had to sneak the box into the van and then the hospital room. Emily was very happy and loves her little sister (well most of the time LOL).

 

[Corjack]

My DD who was 4 when our son was born got a Barbie and movie when he was born. It was from him and she LOVED IT! She still talks about how he got her a gift.

I also took her to build a bear and she made him his first teddy bear. I don't think of it as over gifting, more like showing DD what a great feeling it is to give to her brother and that she is an important part of his life.

Plus it was great for her having a toy to occupy her at the hospital so she stayed out of things that would normally peak her interest!

Jackie

 

[mjkacmom]

I think I got dolls and/or stuffed animals, and packed them in my hospital bag. They also got t-shirts that said "big brother" or "big sister" on them - looking at my siggy, I just handed them down and bought more! The biggest gap between next in age siblings is less than 3 years, and the gap between #1 and #2 is 20 months, #3 and #4/#5 is 22 months, so I never dealt with jealousy. However, when my twins were born, #1, in first grade, was pretty much done (she'd make a lousy Duggar!).

 

[pl'smama]

when my last DS arrived i packed in my hospital bag a gift for my existing DS & DD (the the time ages 6 & 3) it worked out wondeful. i just picked what they were currently into (pokemon cards & littlest pet shops). when the arrived at the hospital with DH i did make sure i wasnt holding the baby & gave bigs hugs. THEN i sat them down with the new DS and gave them their gifts, told them he was so excited to be their baby brother & wanted to show them how much he already loved them. it was a HUGE HIT. my DD who was the jealous one was just so amazed that her baby brother knew what she liked
good luck & try not to sweat the small stuff, trust me it all works out in the end

Thanks for the encouraging words Jennilyn and the suggestions. I guess it is all the hormones making me so emotional now, but I just want my DD to not feel left out. One minute she is so thrilled to be a big sister that her joy makes me the happiest mom alive and the next her jealousy is like a knife to the heart. Dramatic I know, but as moms we can all relate to that protectiveness we have towards our kids. I do want my DD to have something in the hopital to keep her occupied so your ideas would work well. Thanks again for the help. I appreciate it.

We gave DS a DS; a Nintendo DS, that is. He was a bit older, though; just turned 9, and not at ALL happy to be getting a sibling. (After 18 months, he's just now starting to come around to sort of liking her.)

We gave it to him primarily for situations like having to take the baby to the ped and waiting around in doctors offices, etc. It wasn't a "fairness" thing of "the baby gets a present and so do you"; it was more as a consolation gift for being usurped of his place as the only child.

I like your comment that the gift was "more as a consolation gift for being usurped of his place as the only child." It makes total sense to me and I feel sort of the same way.

You could also plan activites or outings with your DD without baby so that she can have time and special moments with you that aren't focused around the baby.

I actually started to do this several months ago and it has worked well. Nothing too major, but just mommy and me time with my DD. I have already said to DH that this will continue to be a priority after baby arrives, but for the first few weeks it might be his job alone! Thanks for the reply.

Our DD's are almost 7 years apart and there weren't even any cousins on my side of the family until DD2 came along. Therefore our oldest DD9 was the only child and used to that for many years. And she was NOT happy at all when we announced we pregnant!!

At my shower for DD2, my Mom had the cake decorated to say "Congratulations Rebecca & Emily" so that she was included. We also gave her a baby doll that I had actually bought when she was a toddler and stored away until whenever we had another baby. We also gave a singing Belle doll.

Before her sister was born, we took Emily to Build a Bear to make a special Teddy to give her in the hospital. Later on, DH and I also made a trip back to make a second bear for a gift to Emily from the new baby. Just had to sneak the box into the van and then the hospital room. Emily was very happy and loves her little sister (well most of the time LOL).

My DD is an Emily to! I really like the cake idea of including your DD's name. To the best of my knowledge there will not be a shower for this baby ( we usually just do the first one), but my mom mentioned doing something along this line anyway. I had planned to have my DH bring cupcakes to the hospital on the day of DD's 6th birthday as I will still be in, but I think she will secretly be happy that the baby can't eat one!! If I were a child I would be to!! I love the BAB idea to. DD wants to get somethign for the baby and this would be ideal, plus she would be involved in the whole thing. Thanks for reply and ideas. I appreciate it!

My DD who was 4 when our son was born got a Barbie and movie when he was born. It was from him and she LOVED IT! She still talks about how he got her a gift.

I also took her to build a bear and she made him his first teddy bear. I don't think of it as over gifting, more like showing DD what a great feeling it is to give to her brother and that she is an important part of his life.

Plus it was great for her having a toy to occupy her at the hospital so she stayed out of things that would normally peak her interest!

Jackie

Thanks Jackie, the toy to occupy my DD while in the hosptial is important. My DD is as curious as the next child and hospital rooms are wonderful for that! The BAB idea seems very popular and I think we will do that as a gift from DD to the baby. She can be involved in the whole thing.

I think I got dolls and/or stuffed animals, and packed them in my hospital bag. They also got t-shirts that said "big brother" or "big sister" on them - looking at my siggy, I just handed them down and bought more! The biggest gap between next in age siblings is less than 3 years, and the gap between #1 and #2 is 20 months, #3 and #4/#5 is 22 months, so I never dealt with jealousy. However, when my twins were born, #1, in first grade, was pretty much done (she'd make a lousy Duggar!).

Wow, you have had some experience with this whole thing!! I really like the idea of the big sister t-shirt, but it has been hard to find one. I think I will call the hospital to see if they carry them in the gift shop. They have to be sold somewhere, right? Your last comment was so funny! I don't think I would make a good Duggar, let alone my DD. Your eldest and the others to must be some pretty good kids. Thanks for the ideas. I appreciate it!


Suz

 

[ncmickeyluvr]

A few weeks before my son was born, I took dd (then 2 1/2) to Build a Bear workshop. She picked a brown bear for her new baby brother and picked a baby blue tshirt for it to wear. I then went back to build a bear by myself and made her the same bear, but white. I got the same tshirt, except pink, and at home I wrote "big sister" with fabric paint. I had it waiting for her when she came to visit us in the hospital. I love looking at the pictures of that day. She's proudly wearing her "Big Sister" tshirt ( they usually do have them at hospital gift shops - DH works at different hospitals and scoured them all to find the best one!) and she has her bear. She also has the weirdest little hairdo, as that was the first time ever that DH was responsible for doing her hair by himself - classic.

 

[eventamy]

When DD1.5 was born I had DD5 (then almost 4) give her new baby sister a present from her ( a Lamaze baby doll) and the baby had presents for Addi too. A book (Pirates Don't change Diapers!) that I read to both of them the first night DD1.5 was born, she also got a new activity/coloring book and crayons, so that when she was hanging out in the hospital room or when I was nursing she had something to keep her busy. She loved it and especially loved being able to give her new sister her first present!

 

[DRS_Are_Best]

I'm nearly 8 years older than my brother (he's my only sibling) and can sympathize with what your dd is about to experience -- it's a wonderful thing and more often than not she'll be thrilled with it, but there will be times when she will probably begrudge having to share you. And she's still young enough that it can be really hard.

On the other hand, my ds was only 21 months old when our twins were born. We bought him a "Big Brother of Twins" shirt and made a big deal of how not only was he getting a brother or a sister, he was getting both. And my MIL bought him a pair of b/g twin dolls (naming them Rachel and Simon) and he and his sister both play with them now (especially Baby Rachel).

The best part of getting a doll when Mommy has a new baby is that she can do all of these things with you -- and she's old enough to understand what that means. She can feed HER baby -- she can change HER baby -- she can rock HER baby to sleep, bathe, or anything else that she sees YOU do with her new sibling. And, by teaching her to do these things, she can also become a helper to you as she gets to know the baby.

It's always hard introducing a new baby to a previously full family -- but it's worth it!!!!!!! Our 3 kids LOVE to be together and get so much out of each other.

All the best of luck in everything and may the end of your pregnancy be smooth sailing!

 

[PeterPanMom]

With my last dd, I took the 2 older ones shopping to buy a small gift for the baby (dd picked out a blanket and ds a package of washcloths). I made up little gift bags with a book about being a big sister/brother (with an inscription inside from the new baby), coloring book, crayons, snacks and juice box.
Check to see if your hospital has a sibling class - ours has a great one where they learned how to help take care of the baby, visited the nursery, etc.
I hope this helps, my kids are a lot younger - I remember being about as far along as you are with my first and crying for days about how her life was about to change. She only asked once for him to go back to my belly and now cries when they are apart.
Good luck!

 

[pl'smama]

A few weeks before my son was born, I took dd (then 2 1/2) to Build a Bear workshop. She picked a brown bear for her new baby brother and picked a baby blue tshirt for it to wear. I then went back to build a bear by myself and made her the same bear, but white. I got the same tshirt, except pink, and at home I wrote "big sister" with fabric paint. I had it waiting for her when she came to visit us in the hospital. I love looking at the pictures of that day. She's proudly wearing her "Big Sister" tshirt ( they usually do have them at hospital gift shops - DH works at different hospitals and scoured them all to find the best one!) and she has her bear. She also has the weirdest little hairdo, as that was the first time ever that DH was responsible for doing her hair by himself - classic.

This is a great idea with the matching bears and shirts and using fabric paint! You know you are pregnant when all these wonderful ideas are making my cry!! I am going to do this one so they will always have a matching friend. Thank you so much for sharing this idea with me. I appreciate it!

When DD1.5 was born I had DD5 (then almost 4) give her new baby sister a present from her ( a Lamaze baby doll) and the baby had presents for Addi too. A book (Pirates Don't change Diapers!) that I read to both of them the first night DD1.5 was born, she also got a new activity/coloring book and crayons, so that when she was hanging out in the hospital room or when I was nursing she had something to keep her busy. She loved it and especially loved being able to give her new sister her first present!

Another great idea to have a book to read them both the first night. This is on my list now to. Thank you so much!

I'm nearly 8 years older than my brother (he's my only sibling) and can sympathize with what your dd is about to experience -- it's a wonderful thing and more often than not she'll be thrilled with it, but there will be times when she will probably begrudge having to share you. And she's still young enough that it can be really hard.

On the other hand, my ds was only 21 months old when our twins were born. We bought him a "Big Brother of Twins" shirt and made a big deal of how not only was he getting a brother or a sister, he was getting both. And my MIL bought him a pair of b/g twin dolls (naming them Rachel and Simon) and he and his sister both play with them now (especially Baby Rachel).

The best part of getting a doll when Mommy has a new baby is that she can do all of these things with you -- and she's old enough to understand what that means. She can feed HER baby -- she can change HER baby -- she can rock HER baby to sleep, bathe, or anything else that she sees YOU do with her new sibling. And, by teaching her to do these things, she can also become a helper to you as she gets to know the baby.

It's always hard introducing a new baby to a previously full family -- but it's worth it!!!!!!! Our 3 kids LOVE to be together and get so much out of each other.

All the best of luck in everything and may the end of your pregnancy be smooth sailing!

Thank you so much for you kind words and ideas. The whole process is so wonderful to anticipate, but I do worry for DD. It may be something she has to accept, but change is hard for anyone and this is a big change! Maybe the doll is a good idea for my DD. At Christmas she received some gift cards from some relatives and we went out last week to spend one. She kept going back to the dolls so this might be an unintentional sign on her part that she really wants a baby, just one of her own. Thanks again for the idea.

With my last dd, I took the 2 older ones shopping to buy a small gift for the baby (dd picked out a blanket and ds a package of washcloths). I made up little gift bags with a book about being a big sister/brother (with an inscription inside from the new baby), coloring book, crayons, snacks and juice box.
Check to see if your hospital has a sibling class - ours has a great one where they learned how to help take care of the baby, visited the nursery, etc.
I hope this helps, my kids are a lot younger - I remember being about as far along as you are with my first and crying for days about how her life was about to change. She only asked once for him to go back to my belly and now cries when they are apart.
Good luck!

Our hospital does have a class and I have thought about enrolling my DD. I think I will look more into it now. Thanks for sharing you ideas and you experience. I worry so much about DD and how this will affect her. It took us so long to get pregnant the second time around that DD would ask me why God did not want her to have a sister or brother. It would break my heart. Now, it is almost the flipside some days, but I know it will be worth it in the long run.


Suz

 

[2diamonds&a~gem]

DD was 4 when DS was born in Dec 2007--
We took along with us to the hospital puzzles, Mr Potato heads and coloring books/crayons for when visiting as well.
But her gift from mama and daddy was a big girls digital camera- it was less than $100 and yet it still has good pics and is super easy for her to use. She was able to take pics of her own of her new baby brother and of whatever else she wanted, she still uses it and loves it!
Best of luck in the coming weeks!