Gift at Baptism?

[mamamary]

cash/check/savings bond

 

[Janepod]

We are Catholic - we give cash. At my children's baptisms, everyone gave money.

Same. We do this for First Communion and Confirmation too.

 

[rockawaybeachgirl]

Well, then I don't think that it could be labeled a "Catholic" thing so much as maybe the area of the world/country one lives in. Perhaps in my neck of the woods, it is more of a "spiritual gift" type of thing; in others, it is money.

But, this is good to know that someday when my kids are baptized, I can put "No cash please" on their invites or whatever.

I'm confused by this - are you saying that if you invited someone to your kid's baptism, and they gave them a gift of cash, you wouldn't accept it?

Or are you trying to imply that you generally don't expect gifts?

If it's the latter, I think the ettiquette experts generally have the view that it is not appropriate to mention gifts on the invites as it implies an expectation. If it's the former, I'd think that could be incredibly awkward....

 

[DebbieB]

I gave my nieces & nephew savings bonds, $50 I think. Lutheran.

 

[Kellydelly]

Well, then I don't think that it could be labeled a "Catholic" thing so much as maybe the area of the world/country one lives in. Perhaps in my neck of the woods, it is more of a "spiritual gift" type of thing; in others, it is money.

But, this is good to know that someday when my kids are baptized, I can put "No cash please" on their invites or whatever.

It would be more tacky to write that on an invite than to just smile and graciously thank someone for a monetary gift and just stuff it in the kids' piggy bank.

 

[Narnia_girl]

Cash gifts must vary by region. We are former Catholics and now worship non-denominational Christian. Our children were never given anywhere near $50 from anyone when they were baptized. They were given small picture frames, Bibles, bible story books and cross necklaces.

I guess if I were going to a baptism celebration today I'd ask myself what I wanted a gift to convey. And then I suppose the answer would be a remembrance of a sacred event, or something to help the person grow spiritually.

 

[TheIncredibles!]

Well, then I don't think that it could be labeled a "Catholic" thing so much as maybe the area of the world/country one lives in. Perhaps in my neck of the woods, it is more of a "spiritual gift" type of thing; in others, it is money.

But, this is good to know that someday when my kids are baptized, I can put "No cash please" on their invites or whatever.

No offense but that would be rude.... You should not try and dictate what a person does and does not give as a gift.

When people give cash it's to help establish a savings account for a child, much like giving a savings bond.

We don't give spiritual gifts because those are usually given by the Godparents and Grandparents. Only so many bibles, crosses and whatnot a child needs.

 

[rockawaybeachgirl]

No offense but that would be rude.... You should not try and dictate what a person does and does not give as a gift.

When people give cash it's to help establish a savings account for a child, much like giving a savings bond.

We don't give spiritual gifts because those are usually given by the Godparents and Grandparents. Only so many bibles, crosses and whatnot a child needs.

Can you imagine the uproar if someone suggested writing "No non-cash gifts please"

 

[kirstenb1]

We give a crucifix or cross to hang on the wall (I received them, and put them over the girls' cribs when they were babies), or a nice prayer framed in a picture frame.

 

[Minnesota!]

Same. We do this for First Communion and Confirmation too.

ditto.

But we give actual gifts at weddings lol!

 

[nugov2]

We have gone to quite a few between close friends and families. I give $50 if we are guests. I have been godmother twice and my dh godfather twice(3 different babies) and those we gave $150 with a small gift.

 

[mtemm]

we are catholic and give cash or savings bonds, but in our circle only close family is invited to a baptism, so not something we attend very often and hasn't come up in 9 years. when we have been godparents we have given a gold cross necklace, same as the godparents of our children did. when our kids were baptized they mostly got cash or savings bonds, but a few people did give gifts. one of my favorites was my sister gave my son a white basket filled with board books, a few were religious in nature but not all.

 

[mmackeymouse]

Around here most people give cash or a savings bond. Usually about $20. The only gifts I've ever seen were from immediate family like grandparents. We are, however, an area where almost all wedding gifts are cash so perhaps it is different in other places. I'm assuming infant baptism here.

Yeah, here, it is more 50/50 between gifts and cash, with gifts being slighly more common.

My experience...

Godmother bought the christening outfit and dressed the baby that day.

Godfather bought the cross on a chain.

All other guests gave $$. About $50 average.

Holy cow, ya'll have rich blood. $50 is high for a wedding around here! Normally, $25 is considered pretty standard for graduations, weddings, etc.

I'm confused by this - are you saying that if you invited someone to your kid's baptism, and they gave them a gift of cash, you wouldn't accept it?

Or are you trying to imply that you generally don't expect gifts?

If it's the latter, I think the ettiquette experts generally have the view that it is not appropriate to mention gifts on the invites as it implies an expectation. If it's the former, I'd think that could be incredibly awkward....

I wouldn't expect gifts. If they wanted to get some small token or memento, that's fine, but I certainly would not expect them, nor want guests to feel obligated to bring something.

And, I would be afraid if I didn't say "No Gifts Please" that people would bring money, and I wouldn't want that either.

As to why, it is a very personal reason that reflects my faith. I don't want to get into it more than that.

 

[goofyintoronto]

My experience...

Godmother bought the christening outfit and dressed the baby that day.

Godfather bought the cross on a chain.

All other guests gave $$. About $50 average.

But we give $$ for pretty much everything. (and we cover our plate at weddings also LOL)

Yes. This is my experience with it too. The outfit and chain from godparents. Cash from guests.

 

[goofyintoronto]

Holy cow, ya'll have rich blood. $50 is high for a wedding around here! Normally, $25 is considered pretty standard for graduations, weddings, etc.

Around here the bare minimum for weddings is $200 per couple!

 

[mmackeymouse]

Around here the bare minimum for weddings is $200 per couple!

Oh my goodness....I am pretty sure I would die.

However, when my sister and BIL got married, they had a lot of guests from out of state, the East coast. And, they cleaned up on money. Like...it was insane the kind of money they were getting. From the people around here, it was looking like peanuts, but it's just a difference in area and culture. Heck, my parents only gave them $100. (But, she also got a nice Kitchen Aid mixer for her bridal shower, in addition to expenditures with the wedding itself)

I will say, around here, catering runs from about $6-$22 a plate. Average is probably around $12-$15....$22 would be for all the bells and whistles. So, "Cover the plate" isn't too difficult.

 

[goofyintoronto]

Oh my goodness....I am pretty sure I would die.

However, when my sister and BIL got married, they had a lot of guests from out of state, the East coast. And, they cleaned up on money. Like...it was insane the kind of money they were getting. From the people around here, it was looking like peanuts, but it's just a difference in area and culture. Heck, my parents only gave them $100. (But, she also got a nice Kitchen Aid mixer for her bridal shower, in addition to expenditures with the wedding itself)

I will say, around here, catering runs from about $6-$22 a plate. Average is probably around $12-$15....$22 would be for all the bells and whistles. So, "Cover the plate" isn't too difficult.

Each plate at a typical baquet hall here cost over $100. Each!!!!!! nuts huh? Want more crazy talk? I know many many brides and grooms who recieve from their parents a down payment for a house.... $20k plus!....also cars/minivans. Its completely insane! My family could never afford such things!

 

[nugov2]

Around here the bare minimum for weddings is $200 per couple!

Here too, but we will even give more if we are close friends/family. I figure it costs $300 to go out to a nice dinner with my dh and weddings here are a big deal. We got married almost 11 years ago and pretty much didn't get less than $150, with most giving more. I think this is regional. Weddings are top shelf open bar...white glove served apps, plated dinners(no checking chicken or steak) with multiple courses(most with palate cleansers) and large sweet tables.

 

[nugov2]

Each plate at a typical baquet hall here cost over $100. Each!!!!!! nuts huh? Want more crazy talk? I know many many brides and grooms who recieve from their parents a down payment for a house.... $20k plus!....also cars/minivans. Its completely insane! My family could never afford such things!

Mine was close to that and we were blessed my dad paid for the whole wedding minus the rehearsal dinner that my in laws paid for. My dh's Uncle gifted us one week in Hawaii, roundtrip airfare and a condo in Princeville, Kauai. We extended it to two weeks and he gave us his discount at the Marriott so we could stay in a nice suite for the second week at a discount. Again, I do think this is a regional philosophy. We live in the Midwest. His late Uncle was a wealthy businessman from the East coast.

 

[KBoopaloo]

We have gone to quite a few between close friends and families. I give $50 if we are guests. I have been godmother twice and my dh godfather twice(3 different babies) and those we gave $150 with a small gift.

Similar story here. I have 2 godchildren and generally give them $100 plus a sentimental gift for their spiritual milestones (baptism, communion, confirmation). The other non-godchild family members get $50.