Getting over loss of daughter's boyfriend

[Mrs.Toad]

It happens with friends as well. DD had a best friend through most of their younger years. As they got older and entered their teens, they grew apart. It wasn't that they had a fight or didn't like each other anymore, it was just that their interests and free time went in different directions. We missed her too although we do still see her from time to time.

My dd had a great friend for the majority of her elementary school years, who spent a ton of time at our house, going places with us, etc. She used to call me mom and I'd call her my other daughter. The had started to grow apart last year, and now don't even acknowledge each other in classes they have together. Makes me sad. I cared about her, I miss her and wonder how she's doing.

 

[disykat]

I think it'd be hard NOT to miss someone who you cared about and was suddenly gone from your life.

My high school son dated someone for two years and they spent lots of time here. Yes, I miss her. I'm always really happy to see her when I run into her and proud of her accomplishments. I'm casual friends with her mom and I can tell she feels the same way about my son.

 

[SeaSpray]

Hmmm, I wonder if that does make a difference. See, I'm the opposite....I've been the only female in my household (other than the dog) for 18 years now. DS brings a girl around on a regular basis, I'm like "oh welcome home sister!" (kidding)

Seriously, I'm gonna be the greatest mother-in-law someday!

Exactly! LOL I was just going to post something similar to this. LOL

DS19(almost 20) and his DGF have been dating since the summer before their senior year of high school, and they're now both in the spring semester of the sophomore year of college, so around 2.5 years.

In the last 2.5 years we've gotten to really know her, and we even brought her with us when we went to WDW last summer. We all had a wonderful time. She loves Disney, I love Disney, I loved having another woman around, it was great! LOL Plus, she is a very nice person, and her family is very nice.

DS and his DGF have talked about getting married once they're out of college.... and I hope that their relationship does continue on. But I'm not naive enough to think that that might not happen. I will definitely be sad if they break up, but I will be happy for DS and whomever he meets in the future. And I would wish nothing but the best for his current DGF.

P.S. I'm so outnumbered, even our cat is a male! LOL

 

[Sheree Bobbins]

It's only natural you'd get attached to people in your life. It'a loss for you too, when your children break-up with significant others. Cut yourself some slack and don't feel bad for feeling sad!

 

[Buckalew11]

Yes. Not DD's, really (yet) but I did feel that way with my sisters' boyfriends while growing up. All their boyfriends were my boyfriends. I remember saying to my oldest, "Why'd you run him off?! I liked him a lot!" lol And I am still attached to one of my middle sister's old boyfriends. Great guy. Friends on FB and he drove in from nashville for my dad's funeral a few years ago.

Now, I'm going through it with my oldest's DH who is a soon to be EX. 35 yrs. of marriage in June and I was about 9 when they started dating. I adored him (liked him better than her, lol). It has been very hard for me to "let go."

I'll probably go through it with DD's boyfriends. I am the type who get attached to people very easily.

As far as the past for me, I still do my ex-boyfriend's mother's and sister's hair. I'm 46 and have been doing their hair since I was 15! We're attached--definitely. I love them and am thankful they kept me in their life.

 

[bombygriz]

I haven't been dating my boyfriend for a long time, but I knew his mom because she works at the middle school, and she LOVES me. She herself has said I am her inherited daughter. I think she would feel sad if we broke up, but luckily I don't think that will happen anytime soon

 

[klacey1]

Seriously, I'm gonna be the greatest mother-in-law someday!

LOL! I love that line! I don't have children, but when I was a teenager, I tended to get close to my boyfriends' families, particularly moms. I never had a positive relationship with my own mom, so I did gravitate to my boyfriends' moms. One boyfriend and I dated for about two and a half years; when we broke up, his mom called me and told me she cried for a week. We remained very close (trips to see plays together, lunches, etc.) for several years. We eventually grew apart, but we'll exchange cards every now and then. I know she was very upset we broke up!
Like some PP have said-- when someone spends weekends with your family, countless dinners, going on trips/to church, it's easy to bond with them.

 

[Greenepona]

I was married (still technically am) to my soon to be ex for 8 years. we were together for 2 years before that also. In this divorce process I am still close to his sister, who does not like his GF/baby mama. My family lives in FL so I got used to having another family around. I miss them. His sister will only let her kids call me Aunt, not Ex's GF.

my current BF's family is awesome though. They're just not right down the road, but I <3 them.