Generally........

[alisonbestford]

.......I'm not one for moaning (which is, I guess, how I ended up moaning to you all now......... ) but please bear with me whilst I 'vent'

As many of you know DH (40) has a brain tumour for which he's had several major neuro ops.

'Long story short' he's been deteriorating, quite badly, over the last few months and the neuro-surgeons want to do a final op (which won't make him better but might prolong his life a little)

His op was scheduled for the 10th Jan so we all struggled through Christmas with a date in mind
I'd already told the hospital I didn't feel he was fit for surgery (27 years as an oncology nurse gives me some insight....) but they dismissed the suggestion and told me to take him in, for pre-op assessment, 3 days before his op.

Of course I got him there, he wasn't fit for surgery (asleep all the time so not eating and drinking), they kept him in, gave him steroids, sorted him out, wheeled him down to theatre, cannulated him.....then told him there wasn't an ITU bed so he couldn't have his op.................................

We have another date of the 24th - if there's a bed for him on the 23rd.........
In the mean time he's at home, falling asleep, not eating and drinking cos I can't keep him awake long enough since the steroids stopped..............
I feel like a demented Nigella Lawson dashing about, preparing meals and sticking them under his nose.............

I'm off, now, to call the hospital and see what they think.
They'll probably suggest I take him in and sit there all day waiting for a doc to see him before sending him home again!
I have to collect DD (9), from school, at 3pm so can't just hang around!
My friends have been great but they have their own families to organise and my parents are elderly so can't dash about after us

Wish me luck.............

 

[carolfoy]

best wishes Alison, I really hope everything works out. I admire you, you must have a remarkable amount of inner strength to keep going. I don't think I could cope as well as you

 

[alisonbestford]

best wishes Alison, I really hope everything works out. I admire you, you must have a remarkable amount of inner strength to keep going. I don't think I could cope as well as you

Thanks Carol

It's like I said to a friend, this morning, though - if I were just 'a relative' (which is, at the end of the day, exactly what I am of course) I'd think I'd done a flipping great job.............. Being a nurse I can't help feeling so angry and frustrated that I can't 'make things better'!

Just called our MacMillan nurse, at the hospice, and she's on the case to, hopefully, re-instate his steroids til he's re-admitted
I just couldn't face calling the hospital when it came down to it

 

[wilma-bride]

Alison, I really don't know what to say. I have absolutely no idea how you must be feeling but it certainly sounds as though you are doing your best. It must be very hard for you, trying to keep your family together and do your day-to-day stuff as well as having to worry about and care for your DH. As Carol said, you must have an incredible inner strength and I really admire you for what you are doing.

I hope you get the medication sorted out and that your DH recovers sufficiently to have his op. Best wishes to you all

 

[wils]

Sending you a big hug. I am so sorry you've had all this added stress and what must already be a difficult time.

I agree with what Carol said too

Let us know how you get on

 

[alisonbestford]

Just call me 'Wonder Woman'...........

Waiting for the GP to call out and, then, liase with the hospital

 

[scottishsue]

You sound like a very strong person Alison. I agree with Carol though, and don't think I could cope as well as you are.

Please let us know how everything goes.

 

[mandymouse]

Oh Alison, sending you and your family lots of hugs. I really don't know how you cope, and to have this kind of thing happen when you are all having such a difficult time anyway must be so frustrating

Take care, and I hope Phil is well enough for his op next week

Mandy

 

[natalielongstaff]

you certainly are wonder woman !!! hope the docs have some answers today x x

 

[alisonbestford]

Thankfully I have a very good 'Work Head'........

That, and the wine, make a winning combination - not sure my liver approves though...........

 

[CustardTart]

I can only echo everything the others have said, Alison! You are doing fantastically and really hope this next op helps your DH...

My very best wishes...
Karen xxx

 

[mikki.young]

Good luck with the hospital. I also wish you continued strength as you have been doing such a wonderful job of looking after your husband.

 

[jen_uk]

I just can't imagine what you must be going through with all of this, you are a remarkable woman. I hope everthing works out with the op.

 

[tennisfan]

Good luck with the hospital, I hope your DH gets his op next week. You are a remarkable woman

 

[jjk]

good luck with the Hospital,youre strength is amazing,sending to you and your family

 

[alisonbestford]

Thanks everyone
I knew I could count on you all to cheer me up

The GP has just left and I'm off to collect a steroid prescription so hope that will do the trick

Got to go and buy wine supplies at the same time as DD (23) will be round later and I'm sure she'll have had a hard week at work

 

[Netty]

Alison,. i hope you get something sorted with the hospital. Sending you and Phil Your Phil is such a lovely man to talk to, i hope everything goes well for him. Jeanette xxxx

 

[Goofysmate]

Don't no what to say really as the others have said it all .
I'm able to do one small thing for you both is send hugs and pixie dust

 

[alisonbestford]

Yet another 'update'........
Got a phonecall, from the hospital, at 2pm wanting me to take him on the ward for a 'check'.

Explained I had to be back for school so, literally, had to 'drop him and run'.........

Off to take DD swimming, go to the gym and wait for some news

Got the wine in tho for later

 

[alisonbestford]

Yet another 'update'........
Got a phonecall, from the hospital, at 2pm wanting me to take him on the ward for a 'check'.

Explained I had to be back for school so, literally, had to 'drop him and run'.........

Off to take DD swimming, go to the gym and wait for some news

Got the wine in tho for later

Hope that doesn't all sound too flippant..............
We've been dealing with this for so long that 'black humour' is all par for the course in this house