Gender profiling... they almost never ask the moms....

[Papa Deuce]

I take my kids to school and pick them up EVERY DAY. Usually I pick them up in the car loop. On any given day there are about 30 cars max for the whole loop. I bet closer to 20. The car loop is monitored by women teachers and women helpers.

At least 3x a week I get asked who I am picking up... but I never see the teachers / helpers ask the moms who pick up the kids. So yesterday I walked down to get the kids, and I met another father there that I see pretty often. We were chatting and waiting for our kids, when one of the teachers or helpers came over to us and asked who we were picking up... Now "I" have been asked this by this lady at least 10x now.

We told her and she walked back to where the kids get let out of school. So the guy I was talking to me said " Did you ever notice that these women ask EVERY SINGLE MAN who they are picking up, but you rarely see them ask the women who they are picking up?" In fact, I not only have noticed it, I have mentioned it to my wife several times.

As a guy, I must say that it feels a lot like gender profiling... like these ladies think the men are all out to steal their children or something...

Women have been known to "steal" their kids as well.... but I guess women don't think women do this....

 

[Monte Cristo]

Wouldn't bother me for a milli second. It probably would make me feel good that the teachers are really keeping their eyes open.

 

[justhat]

Really, to ask you more than say 5 times seems annoying. I mean, can't she get to know you by now? I could see asking a man the first couple of times before you get to know him (though I would also ask a strange woman), but I know all thedads at my kids school who pick up their kids and I don't work the pickup line.

 

[Papa Deuce]

Wouldn't bother me for a milli second. It probably would make me feel good that the teachers are really keeping their eyes open.

I would agree IF they asked the moms as well..

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I would agree IF they asked the moms as well..

I have picked my kids up in the car loop and they ask all the time. You might not see that they are asking mom's as well but making an assumption.

 

[merryweather20]

Why, only women helpers? Why don't you volunteer to help?

If you spoken to this one woman only 10x, so once a week (if its this school year you are referring to)? And she's dealing with 29-39 other parents a day? I wouldn't expect to be remembered.

I noticed you were talking with another Dad in your story. The "woman" helpers are probably likewise inclined to chit-chat with other Moms, which makes them easy to remember.

 

[Becky2005]

Really, to ask you more than say 5 times seems annoying. I mean, can't she get to know you by now?

This is what I think is annoying. It's one thing if it's a new teacher you've never seen asking you who you are picking up but since you take the kids every day, you would think they would know by now.

Our school never checks though -- it's pretty much a free for all at dismissal time between kids walking on their own home, parents picking up, Scout leaders gathering kids (not too often but it does happen).

We got a new Principal last year though & it's a male. He doesn't know me yet though, so he's clueless who belongs to me when I'm in the car line.

Now that I think about it -- he ask the KIDS -- "is this your ride?" Not asking the parents who they are picking up, probably because the patrols open the doors after the kids come up to you & then they load.

We have so many dads/moms mixed that I never noticed if they ask the guys. I'm nearly 100% sure the Kindergarten teacher doesn't because I see a Dad every day & she says Hello, his child goes off to him, just like she says Hello to me and mine comes to me. She has never asked him "who are you here for?" They just *know* for us regulars.

In my case, I've been at that school for so many years that the Kindergarten teacher even knew me before school started & I had never had a child in her class until this year. She's only been at the school 2 or 3 years. I was surprised she knew who I was the first day.

 

[Freyja]

I´d be annoyed too!

 

[Papa Deuce]

Why, only women helpers? Why don't you volunteer to help?

If you spoken to this one woman only 10x, so once a week (if its this school year you are referring to)? And she's dealing with 29-39 other parents a day? I wouldn't expect to be remembered.

I noticed you were talking with another Dad in your story. The "woman" helpers are probably likewise inclined to chit-chat with other Moms, which makes them easy to remember.

I help TONS thanks... I DJ all their events for free. I am a homeroom captain, too.

 

[Angelhalo]

I don't think its a hill to die on.

If this is the worst of your worries, then you lead a charmed life. I'd say just let it go and just be happy that you are such a lucky dad to be able to pick your kids up at school and chalk it up to the helpers doing what they think is best to keep the kids safe, whether they are being politically correct or not.

Shake it off, life's too short

 

[justhat]

I agree that moms tend to know other moms better while dads might stick more with other dads, but still, like I said, there are certain dads at my kids' school whom I know simply because they drop off or pick up their kid(s) often enough. I wouldn't know every father, but I also don't know every mother. Once I've seen someone at least 5 times though, I can remember who they belong to. And I am just there to get my own kid, not in charge of dismissal where I would expect to learn the typical parent/child pairs.

A sort of similar situation, a dad in my son's class organized a soccer team. He works and usually a nanny picks up his kids and his wife drops them off in the morning. I rarely see this man. He comes to soccer each week to watch his kids, but usually doesn't hang with the rest of the moms (he was thrilled the week my husband went so there was another man to talk to!). I, as well as the other moms, learned who this guy was after just the 1st class. Really not that hard to figure out, especially in the case of men as there are usually fewer of them around so they are easier to identify readily. At least I think so.

Becky - Our school doesn't really ask either. If you drive up you need a placard in your car with the kid's name on it. If you walk up, you just tell the teacher who you are there to pick up. They will ask the kid like you mentioned, but really only if it's someone strange.

 

[Tinker'n'Fun]

I would agree IF they asked the moms as well..

I think it is wrong, but why not beat them to the chase. Go up extend your hand and introduce yourself. The next time extend your hand and remind them, "Remember me, I am Mr. So & So, litte Joey's father, I met you a few days ago".

 

[Freyja]

I don't think its a hill to die on.

If this is the worst of your worries, then you lead a charmed life. I'd say just let it go and just be happy that you are such a lucky dad to be able to pick your kids up at school and chalk it up to the helpers doing what they think is best to keep the kids safe, whether they are being politically correct or not.

Shake it off, life's too short

Why is it that when men complain about gender inequality they seem to get brushed off so easily?

 

[Monte Cristo]

I don't think its a hill to die on.

If this is the worst of your worries, then you lead a charmed life. I'd say just let it go and just be happy that you are such a lucky dad to be able to pick your kids up at school and chalk it up to the helpers doing what they think is best to keep the kids safe, whether they are being politically correct or not.

Shake it off, life's too short

Well said.

 

[Angelhalo]

Why is it that when men complain about gender inequality they seem to get brushed off so easily?

Actually I just don't think it would be a big deal no matter what gender the person venting is. Its just not that big of a deal. They're volunteering trying to keep the kids safe. just regular people trying to do their part to help out. No one is perfect. I just get tired of everyone being offended by EVERYTHING. The particular gender makes no difference to me.

 

[Handbag Lady]

I would be annoyed, too. Shouldn't they be checking everyone?

Aren't kids kidnapped more by females than males, anyway? I don't have links to back me up but it seems that when babies are taken from hospitals, it is always a female nurse (or dressed like one.)


I think you need to show up wearing pink clothes with a flashing battery-operated disco ball. THEN they'll remember you.

And yes. If it were a female complaining about gender issues, you better believe there would be a platoon of people behind you.

 

[sbell111]

She doesn't know you, so she asks.

 

[Ephany]

I do think it's odd. In our case, the lady in charge of verifying we're who we say we are has seen DH once. He's been working out of state since the beginning of the school year and hasn't picked up DD this school year. I do want her to verify he who is and I know he'd expect it also. However, at our old school DH picked DD up 75% of the time and after the first week all of the teacher knew him by sight and I was the one who was asked for id. If you're picking up your children every day and it's the same regular teachers/aids who are working, I don't think it's unreasonable that by this point in the school year they know who you are.

I think it is wrong, but why not beat them to the chase. Go up extend your hand and introduce yourself. The next time extend your hand and remind them, "Remember me, I am Mr. So & So, litte Joey's father, I met you a few days ago".

 

[justhat]

She doesn't know you, so she asks.

See, that's just it. I, and I think 99.9% of posters including the OP, would totally get, understand, and be thrilled about that. Even if it were just the 2nd, 3rd, even 4th time she asked him. But he said the same woman has asked him who he is at least 10 times.

Honestly, by that point, I WANT the person in charge of pickup to know who regularly gets my kids. That would make me feel pretty good as I would feel confident that if there were a change in routine it would be noticable to the people in charge of releasing my child.

 

[Shutterbug]

Why is it that when men complain about gender inequality they seem to get brushed off so easily?

cause here on this board its okay to...

IMO if the helper is making a point of asking the OP every single time but not anyone else then she is specifically targeting him for something..maybe she just doesnt like him.