GED's **Why I'm asking post 36**

[phorsenuf]

I really appreciate all the info and opinions. I'll try to answer some of the questions I've seen so far.

We looked into the Virtual Learning Academy here in NH but they don't offer all the classes he needs.

The original plan was was T to move to Florida with his dad and start school while I stayed behind to finish things up around here. His dad just got sent to a job in MD and aside for a week home here and there he'll be gone up to 3 months so T living there is not a possibility. There isn't anyone else either that could stay with him as all my family lives here in NH.

He has taken his SAT's already. I'll definitely check into some of the Comm. colleges down there to see if GED's are acceptable. I'd be surprised if they weren't. I'm going to assume that if he did a year at CC then transferring to a 2 or 4 year college without an HSD shouldn't be an issue.

One of the issues is here in NH they require 21 credit to graduate. FL requires 24 and required classes that we don't need here in NH. That's what makes it such a problem.

We did have an appointment with the guidance counselor in FL the beginning of August but we'll probably have to do that over the phone as T won't be back down there then as we had planned. Guess I'll pick his brain and see what he thinks too.

I'll definitely look into that virtual learning school in FL.

UGH! This has turned into such a headache and I just feel so bad about it all.

 

[PrincessKsMom]

Thanks for all the replies. Of course there is a reason for asking.
This may be long and confusing so bear with me.

My son T is 17. He started last year as a junior in HS. His schedule had a couple open periods in it so we had it changed to add some classes in. When he met with his guidance counselor it was determined by adding 1 1/2 classes he would have enough credits to graduate a year early. We initially said no but then my husband got a job offer in Florida. This company had been pursuing him for 2 years and we always said no because we didn't want to have to move the kids out of their HS.
So, since T could graduate a year early hubby took the job and T and I stayed behind for him to finish school and to sell the house.

Well, T failed 2 of his classes. They couldn't be made up over summer school so he reverted back to junior status and is now starting school in the fall as a senior, which is where he should be.

School in FL starts the end of August and it's not looking good to being there in time. My husband is already living there but is now working up in MD for a couple months so T can't go to FL wit nobody there. We don't want to leave the house up north empty so I can't go to FL right now.

He can't really start school in NH and then transfer to FL because the requirements are so different we wouldn't be able to carry the proper things over.

My mom had suggested going for his GED but I don't (didn't) want to do that to him. It would make me feel I failed him as a parent and we are putting our own needs/wants before him and his education.

Now T is not a great student and really could care less about school "stuff". He just wants to graduate and be done with it. He's asked before about just ditching school and getting his GED. Of course I've always nixed that one.

But now with all this school mess coming to a head and only about 5-6 weeks to figure it all out I'm starting to think about it. But like I said I feel like I am short-changing him by giving him that option (which I know he would take). At this time he has no plans to go to college right away. He does want to go, juts not now.

So, with all that info, how would you as a parent handle that? Would you feel as if you are short-changing their future?

Where are your other children living and what grades are they in?

I would NOT let T get his GED. In my opinion, it is teaching him it's okay to quit and I think you're asking him to take the easy way out because it's convenient for you. If you didn't let him get his GED before and were opposed to it then, what has changed except the inconvenience for you and your husband?

Also, by your own admission, T does not like school and is an okay student. From your description it seems to me that T probably has no intention of going to college. I think he's just saying that now to get you to let him take his GED. I believe that most kids, once they are out of the school environment, will have a hard time taking off a year or two and then starting all over again, trying to get back into a school routine. By then he will be a little older and will have more of a personal life. He will also be old enough where he doesn't have to do what you want him to. So, if that is the case, what skills does he have in order to get himself a good job and future? If you go let him take the GED, I think there is no option for taking a little time off before starting college. He starts immediately.

 

[phorsenuf]

I'd like to add something about the whole situation.

T isn't a bad student, not great, but has never failed a class before. Yeah, he doesn't care much for school, but he still does well. When he changed his schedule around to be able to graduate all he needed to do was add his senior english, which was split into 2 different classes. The first semester he ended up in Film Study, which is a very difficult class. That's the one he failed. The second half of his senior English TV production which he passed no problems. The other class was economics which was just a change from a junior class to a senior class. So in reality all he added into his schedule was 1 extra class. So instead of having a study that period he had English. No different than what any other student would have for a schedule.

 

[phorsenuf]

Where are your other children living and what grades are they in?

All my other children are out of the house. 1 of them is a Staff Sargent in the military, MP K-9. Another one is in his 5th year of college studying teaching and deaf studies. Another is a Sophomore at Johnson and Wales in RI studying to be a chef.

I would NOT let T get his GED. In my opinion, it is teaching him it's okay to quit and I think you're asking him to take the easy way out because it's convenient for you. If you didn't let him get his GED before and were opposed to it then, what has changed except the inconvenience for you and your husband?

First of all if I wanted to take the easy way out I wouldn't be asking about it and stressing over it. T is the one that wants to move actually. He's been telling us that for years. He hates where we live. There is no inconvenience for me and my husband. We are doing everything we can to figure out a way to get T to FL so he can start school down there.

Also, by your own admission, T does not like school and is an okay student. From your description it seems to me that T probably has no intention of going to college. I think he's just saying that now to get you to let him take his GED. I believe that most kids, once they are out of the school environment, will have a hard time taking off a year or two and then starting all over again, trying to get back into a school routine. By then he will be a little older and will have more of a personal life. He will also be old enough where he doesn't have to do what you want him to. So, if that is the case, what skills does he have in order to get himself a good job and future? If you go let him take the GED, I think there is no option for taking a little time off before starting college. He starts immediately.

Actually he does have every intention of going to college. He intends to be a math teacher. We have talked many times of at least taking some basics at a CC to get them behind him before he goes full-time. When we agreed to let him graduate early that was actually a condition. He's ok with that and once we get down there it is something we are going to look into. There are plenty of kids that take a year off and then go to school.
Some kids are pretty smart but just don't do good in school.

He's not a dumb kid, he's not looking for an "easy way out". We certainly aren't looking for an easy way out. We are looking for the best possible solution for him and his future.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Actually he does have every intention of going to college. He intends to be a math teacher. We have talked many times of at least taking some basics at a CC to get them behind him before he goes full-time. When we agreed to let him graduate early that was actually a condition. He's ok with that and once we get down there it is something we are going to look into. There are plenty of kids that take a year off and then go to school.
Some kids are pretty smart but just don't do good in school.

He's not a dumb kid, he's not looking for an "easy way out". We certainly aren't looking for an easy way out. We are looking for the best possible solution for him and his future.

Don't know about FL., however I know that MO and TX have special HS things for kids that want to go into teaching.

If he is serious about teaching, I would approach it from that angle with the HS, CC, or universities/colleges that he might go to.

Going into teaching is 5yrs and getting basics out of the way at a CC is not recommended. Not to say it is not doable or needed for him but it is not ideal. Teacher programs are very strict with the teaching rubric that the undergrad has to follow.

 

[PrincessKsMom]

All my other children are out of the house. 1 of them is a Staff Sargent in the military, MP K-9. Another one is in his 5th year of college studying teaching and deaf studies. Another is a Sophomore at Johnson and Wales in RI studying to be a chef.

By the use of plural in your post, I thought you might also have had other children living at home.

First of all if I wanted to take the easy way out I wouldn't be asking about it and stressing over it. T is the one that wants to move actually. He's been telling us that for years. He hates where we live. There is no inconvenience for me and my husband. We are doing everything we can to figure out a way to get T to FL so he can start school down there.

Since you mentioned not wanting to leave the house empty in NH, I assumed that would be an inconvenience, as well as living apart from your spouse, and the fact that he's asked to quit school prior and you were against it then. Now, not so much.

Actually he does have every intention of going to college. He intends to be a math teacher. We have talked many times of at least taking some basics at a CC to get them behind him before he goes full-time. When we agreed to let him graduate early that was actually a condition. He's ok with that and once we get down there it is something we are going to look into. There are plenty of kids that take a year off and then go to school.
Some kids are pretty smart but just don't do good in school.

Teaching is a wonderful profession and the world could certainly use more of them. It's wonderful that you're making college a requirement rather than an option. Also, I agree, there are children who don't do well in school, but do have fulfilling lives and careers regardless of that fact.

He's not a dumb kid, he's not looking for an "easy way out". We certainly aren't looking for an easy way out. We are looking for the best possible solution for him and his future.

I did not mean to imply he was a dumb kid, but I did think he was looking for the easy way out because of your mentioning "He's asked before about just ditching school and getting his GED." Sorry if I offended you. Not my intention, but I personally don't think getting a GED should be an option for most students. I'm sure you'll make the right decision for you and your family and congratulations on the upcoming move

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I also wanted add not to mention getting out of paying out of state tution. That was a big consideration for us.

DD had to be living here for 12 months to qualify. However if your dh has an address you might get around that.

I think someone here in the past said something about FL having a 2yr requirement of living in state to qualify for in state tution.

Not sure on that though.

You have alot of homework to do. I did this last yr., fun, huh?

 

[phorsenuf]

I did not mean to imply he was a dumb kid, but I did think he was looking for the easy way out because of your mentioning "He's asked before about just ditching school and getting his GED." Sorry if I offended you. Not my intention, but I personally don't think getting a GED should be an option for most students. I'm sure you'll make the right decision for you and your family and congratulations on the upcoming move

No offense taken. When he had asked about it before the reasons were all wrong which is why I said no. He has since realized it was a dumb thing to want to do. He has no clue we are even thinking the GED route and I'm not going to even bring it up unless there is absolutely positively no way we can figure anything else out.

We would prefer to not leave the house empty if possible. We just started looking into renting but we so did not want to go that route. But we know if we want to get T going in FL on time that may be our only option.
When we moved one time before we rented our house out for a year and it was a disaster and left such a bad impression on us we just did not want to go that route again. We would really just prefer to break ties and go and not have to worry about something going wrong up here.

 

[wide awake]

I took the CA high school proficiency exam, passed it at the youngest age you were allowed to take it, never looked back. Really, who is going to ask about someone's high school diploma ? One of those things you just assume everyone has. I went on to college, have never felt the need to apologize or explain my reasons, but for this thread...I was bored to death in school. To me someone earns the GED or passes the proficiency exam is someone who is a go-getter, someone who won't put up w/ nonsense.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

No offense taken. When he had asked about it before the reasons were all wrong which is why I said no. He has since realized it was a dumb thing to want to do. He has no clue we are even thinking the GED route and I'm not going to even bring it up unless there is absolutely positively no way we can figure anything else out.

We would prefer to not leave the house empty if possible. We just started looking into renting but we so did not want to go that route. But we know if we want to get T going in FL on time that may be our only option.
When we moved one time before we rented our house out for a year and it was a disaster and left such a bad impression on us we just did not want to go that route again. We would really just prefer to break ties and go and not have to worry about something going wrong up here.

Are you working and that is why you cannot move right away?

 

[phorsenuf]

I also wanted add not to mention getting out of paying out of state tution. That was a big consideration for us.

DD had to be living here for 12 months to qualify. However if your dh has an address you might get around that.

I think someone here in the past said something about FL having a 2yr requirement of living in state to qualify for in state tution.

Not sure on that though.

You have alot of homework to do. I did this last yr., fun, huh?

Florida has a 12 month requirement. Hub moved down there in Dec so we should be ok on that front. I do have to look into that for another child though. But since he's never left the state and is going to have his own place I think we'll be alright on that front.

These are all the reasons we've said no to this job for so long. But we knew in the long run it would be for the best so we decided to go for it. Life is full of hurdles so we just need to get over this one and hopefully the rest will be clear sailing.

 

[phorsenuf]

Are you working and that is why you cannot move right away?

No, not working. I work at the high school so I'm off for the summer. I did renew my contract with them in case I was still here in the fall. They know I may or may not be back but the wanted me to sign it just in case.
I was actually already offered a job at the HS down there.

Just can't move yet until we figure out what to do about the house. I'm just going to pack it all up while we try to figure out the best route to take.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Florida has a 12 month requirement. Hub moved down there in Dec so we should be ok on that front. I do have to look into that for another child though. But since he's never left the state and is going to have his own place I think we'll be alright on that front.

These are all the reasons we've said no to this job for so long. But we knew in the long run it would be for the best so we decided to go for it. Life is full of hurdles so we just need to get over this one and hopefully the rest will be clear sailing.

You will. Just dig in and figure out your best options. Make sure you look into teaching requirements, tutions, etc..

When we moved we had the opposite of you which is why my dd was able to graduate in a half of a semester.

Mo had not institiuted the 4yr English requirement to graduate, so she skipped English and fulfilled the MO requirements. She had to take 2 PE classes. (she was not happy) In TX they gave a waiver for band, well MO did not accept that.

Now she is done and all is well. You did not say what his SAT's were. Take his score and go check the requirements for the colleges that he is interested down there.

Also you have the additional issue of population of the Freshman!!! OY VEY. This will be bigger than last yr.

Applying early is key critical and that is bearing down on you as well.

You need to be meshing HS/CC/College with your research to figure out the best course of action.

Good Luck. It will all work out in the end.